This is the first of a series of webinars that Amanda Murphy of the William D. Ruckelshaus Center presented to Extension faculty and staff on Managing and Resolving Conflict.
These are the slides from a workshop I am running, it definitely doesn't quite translate to self paced online, but you get an idea of some of the stuff. Please provide comments if you have any feedback!
These are the slides from a workshop I am running, it definitely doesn't quite translate to self paced online, but you get an idea of some of the stuff. Please provide comments if you have any feedback!
Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or co-founder, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. You will learn how to: Prepare for high-impact situations, Make it safe to talk about almost anything, Be persuasive, not abrasive, Keep listening when others blow up or clam up, Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want
Conflict Resolution: Tools for Analyzing, Diagnosing, and Resolving Organizat...David Williamson
The material in this presentation is adapted from:
Furlong, G. T. (2005). The conflict resolution toolbox: Models & maps for analyzing, diagnosing, and resolving conflict. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada.
Dealing with difficult conversations at work Richard Riche
Difficult conversations can be challenging in the workplace and can lead to conflict if handled poorly. Tips on how to prepare for these conversations, get the right mindset and build an Engaged workforce using Emotional Intelligence and the Neuroscience of the brain.
Having employee problems? Employees do not seem to be able to get along? Need more teamwork? A good class in Conflict Management might be just what the doctor ordered. You have here 38 slides for a full-day class with exercises and activities to help employees and managers learn how to better handle conflict in the workplace. Call me if you have any questions: 612-310-3803. John
Negotiation is aimed to resolve points of difference, to gain advantage for an individual or collective, or to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests. Here you can find new ways to improve your negotiation skills.
This Presentations talks about knowing more about your personality, know more about different types of people that might be difficult. Finally, tips on how to deal with them.
Remember: You could be one of the difficult people so be fair :)
We all have difficult conversations in our lives that we have a natural tendency to avoid. However, effective organizations and effective individuals know how and when to hold these conversations.
Second webinar in a three webinar series on Tools and Techniques for Managing and Resloving Conflict with Amanda Murphy of the William D Ruckshaus Center
Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or co-founder, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. You will learn how to: Prepare for high-impact situations, Make it safe to talk about almost anything, Be persuasive, not abrasive, Keep listening when others blow up or clam up, Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want
Conflict Resolution: Tools for Analyzing, Diagnosing, and Resolving Organizat...David Williamson
The material in this presentation is adapted from:
Furlong, G. T. (2005). The conflict resolution toolbox: Models & maps for analyzing, diagnosing, and resolving conflict. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada.
Dealing with difficult conversations at work Richard Riche
Difficult conversations can be challenging in the workplace and can lead to conflict if handled poorly. Tips on how to prepare for these conversations, get the right mindset and build an Engaged workforce using Emotional Intelligence and the Neuroscience of the brain.
Having employee problems? Employees do not seem to be able to get along? Need more teamwork? A good class in Conflict Management might be just what the doctor ordered. You have here 38 slides for a full-day class with exercises and activities to help employees and managers learn how to better handle conflict in the workplace. Call me if you have any questions: 612-310-3803. John
Negotiation is aimed to resolve points of difference, to gain advantage for an individual or collective, or to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests. Here you can find new ways to improve your negotiation skills.
This Presentations talks about knowing more about your personality, know more about different types of people that might be difficult. Finally, tips on how to deal with them.
Remember: You could be one of the difficult people so be fair :)
We all have difficult conversations in our lives that we have a natural tendency to avoid. However, effective organizations and effective individuals know how and when to hold these conversations.
Second webinar in a three webinar series on Tools and Techniques for Managing and Resloving Conflict with Amanda Murphy of the William D Ruckshaus Center
The Enchanted Loom reviews Peter Levine's book Trauma and MemoryMark Brady
An in-depth investigation into how procedural memory operates unconsciously to shape and direct our lives for better or for worse. The good news is that somatic psychology provides many insights and tools to help make unconscious, procedural memory conscious. The result is an increased and expanded menu of life options.
Neurobiology of Touch and Trauma: The Impact of Touch Based Treatments on Hea...Michael Changaris
Touch plays a powerful role in human development and emotional regulation. Despite this fact it is not used effectively in therapy. This talk explores current research into the biological and psychological effects of touch and how to use touch to increase emotional regulation skills.
Link to Book By Author: http://www.amazon.com/Touch-Neurobiology-Health-Healing-Connection/dp/094079506X
Link to Webpage: http://www.touch-neuroscience.com/
Healing Trauma through Somatic Experiencing and Gestalt Therapy bwitchel
Develop a basic understanding of Somatic Experiencing®, a short-term approach to healing trauma, and the use of Gestalt Therapy in trauma resolution.
Dr. Bob Witchel
En beskrivning hur de olika perspektiven i LUCK-konceptet påverkar varandra. Provar några olika sätt att visualisera mitt koncept. Åsikter mottages gärna!
Constelação Familiar (CF) e Experiência Somática® (SE): duas terapias comple...Reno Bonzon
Apresentação no II Simpósio de Experiência Somática (Simpse 2014), Diálogos Estendidos na Teoria e na Prática, organizado pela Associação Brasileira do Trauma, Seção Bahia, coma chancela da Universidade do Estado da Bahia (UNEB), nos dias 24 e 25 de outubro de 2014.
Managing Essential Conflict is a sophisticated skill that few achieve. This day-long course highlights the skills we need to thrive under pressure and solve complex problems in the workplace.
Presentation on workplace conflict covering
- What is “problem” conflict?
- The inevitability of conflict within workplace teams
- The 5 Recognized approaches to dealing with conflict
- What are your usual Conflict Styles?
- Tips and strategies to reduce conflict
- When to bring in a Mediator
- Recap
This is the third webinar in a series featuring Amanda Murphy of The William D. Ruckelshaus Center regarding Tools and Techniques for managing and Resolving Conflict
SOFT SKILLS WORLD takes pleasure in introducing itself as an experienced and competent conglomeration with more than 300 Training & Development professionals. This team represents key functional domains across industries.
We sincerely look forward to joining hands with your esteemed organization in our endeavour to create a mutually satisfying win-win proposition per se Organization Development interventions.
May we request you to visit us at http://www.softskillsworld.com/to have a glimpse of the bouquet of our offers .We have partnered with the best & promise you an excellent organizational capability building.
We firmly believe Hard Skills alone are not sufficient enough to enhance business success. Aligned with high performance organizational culture and given the right direction, Soft Skills is the best recipe for business success.
This is a presentation on Conflict Management. It is a session on how to better manage Conflict in an organization. We all know that conflict in inevitable in any organization. What is required is an effective management of Conflict. In this session I will take you through different reasons why conflict occurs and different styles of managing conflict. I am sure after going through this presentation, you will learn better ways to manage conflict. Enjoy this presentation.
I have added my voice also on this presentation so put on slide show and keep your computer volume high.
An expanded Conflict Resolution Presentations which gives more practical advice on how to use the information.
I had members of the class give real life examples of Conflict Causes as listed on pages 13-18 . This helped bring out some very REAL issues (without centering anyone out) that we were able to provide resolutions for. Worked well. Good Luck.
This presentation had been used internally in a Lunch & Learn session at KMS Technology which is one of the types of knowledge sharing at KMS Technology Vietnam (www.kms-technology.com)
Interpersonal Skills include communication skills as persuading, listening, and influencing; Leadership skills as prob;em solving, decision making, conflict resolution and finally Team Management as delegating and motivating
Diversity and culture competence are factors as well
http:/www.saharconsulting.com
Negotiations: Separate the People from the ProblemJohn Cousins
This slide deck is based on Chapter 2 of the the great book Getting to Yes: Separate the People from the Problem. Fun images help illustrate the insightful points made throughout this chapter.
When two or more parties agree to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them, we say it is conflict resolution. There can be personal, financial, political, or emotional disagreements. When a conflict arises, often the best action is to negotiate to resolve the disagreement.
June 3, 2024 Anti-Semitism Letter Sent to MIT President Kornbluth and MIT Cor...Levi Shapiro
Letter from the Congress of the United States regarding Anti-Semitism sent June 3rd to MIT President Sally Kornbluth, MIT Corp Chair, Mark Gorenberg
Dear Dr. Kornbluth and Mr. Gorenberg,
The US House of Representatives is deeply concerned by ongoing and pervasive acts of antisemitic
harassment and intimidation at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). Failing to act decisively to ensure a safe learning environment for all students would be a grave dereliction of your responsibilities as President of MIT and Chair of the MIT Corporation.
This Congress will not stand idly by and allow an environment hostile to Jewish students to persist. The House believes that your institution is in violation of Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, and the inability or
unwillingness to rectify this violation through action requires accountability.
Postsecondary education is a unique opportunity for students to learn and have their ideas and beliefs challenged. However, universities receiving hundreds of millions of federal funds annually have denied
students that opportunity and have been hijacked to become venues for the promotion of terrorism, antisemitic harassment and intimidation, unlawful encampments, and in some cases, assaults and riots.
The House of Representatives will not countenance the use of federal funds to indoctrinate students into hateful, antisemitic, anti-American supporters of terrorism. Investigations into campus antisemitism by the Committee on Education and the Workforce and the Committee on Ways and Means have been expanded into a Congress-wide probe across all relevant jurisdictions to address this national crisis. The undersigned Committees will conduct oversight into the use of federal funds at MIT and its learning environment under authorities granted to each Committee.
• The Committee on Education and the Workforce has been investigating your institution since December 7, 2023. The Committee has broad jurisdiction over postsecondary education, including its compliance with Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, campus safety concerns over disruptions to the learning environment, and the awarding of federal student aid under the Higher Education Act.
• The Committee on Oversight and Accountability is investigating the sources of funding and other support flowing to groups espousing pro-Hamas propaganda and engaged in antisemitic harassment and intimidation of students. The Committee on Oversight and Accountability is the principal oversight committee of the US House of Representatives and has broad authority to investigate “any matter” at “any time” under House Rule X.
• The Committee on Ways and Means has been investigating several universities since November 15, 2023, when the Committee held a hearing entitled From Ivory Towers to Dark Corners: Investigating the Nexus Between Antisemitism, Tax-Exempt Universities, and Terror Financing. The Committee followed the hearing with letters to those institutions on January 10, 202
Acetabularia Information For Class 9 .docxvaibhavrinwa19
Acetabularia acetabulum is a single-celled green alga that in its vegetative state is morphologically differentiated into a basal rhizoid and an axially elongated stalk, which bears whorls of branching hairs. The single diploid nucleus resides in the rhizoid.
The Roman Empire A Historical Colossus.pdfkaushalkr1407
The Roman Empire, a vast and enduring power, stands as one of history's most remarkable civilizations, leaving an indelible imprint on the world. It emerged from the Roman Republic, transitioning into an imperial powerhouse under the leadership of Augustus Caesar in 27 BCE. This transformation marked the beginning of an era defined by unprecedented territorial expansion, architectural marvels, and profound cultural influence.
The empire's roots lie in the city of Rome, founded, according to legend, by Romulus in 753 BCE. Over centuries, Rome evolved from a small settlement to a formidable republic, characterized by a complex political system with elected officials and checks on power. However, internal strife, class conflicts, and military ambitions paved the way for the end of the Republic. Julius Caesar’s dictatorship and subsequent assassination in 44 BCE created a power vacuum, leading to a civil war. Octavian, later Augustus, emerged victorious, heralding the Roman Empire’s birth.
Under Augustus, the empire experienced the Pax Romana, a 200-year period of relative peace and stability. Augustus reformed the military, established efficient administrative systems, and initiated grand construction projects. The empire's borders expanded, encompassing territories from Britain to Egypt and from Spain to the Euphrates. Roman legions, renowned for their discipline and engineering prowess, secured and maintained these vast territories, building roads, fortifications, and cities that facilitated control and integration.
The Roman Empire’s society was hierarchical, with a rigid class system. At the top were the patricians, wealthy elites who held significant political power. Below them were the plebeians, free citizens with limited political influence, and the vast numbers of slaves who formed the backbone of the economy. The family unit was central, governed by the paterfamilias, the male head who held absolute authority.
Culturally, the Romans were eclectic, absorbing and adapting elements from the civilizations they encountered, particularly the Greeks. Roman art, literature, and philosophy reflected this synthesis, creating a rich cultural tapestry. Latin, the Roman language, became the lingua franca of the Western world, influencing numerous modern languages.
Roman architecture and engineering achievements were monumental. They perfected the arch, vault, and dome, constructing enduring structures like the Colosseum, Pantheon, and aqueducts. These engineering marvels not only showcased Roman ingenuity but also served practical purposes, from public entertainment to water supply.
Macroeconomics- Movie Location
This will be used as part of your Personal Professional Portfolio once graded.
Objective:
Prepare a presentation or a paper using research, basic comparative analysis, data organization and application of economic information. You will make an informed assessment of an economic climate outside of the United States to accomplish an entertainment industry objective.
How to Make a Field invisible in Odoo 17Celine George
It is possible to hide or invisible some fields in odoo. Commonly using “invisible” attribute in the field definition to invisible the fields. This slide will show how to make a field invisible in odoo 17.
Read| The latest issue of The Challenger is here! We are thrilled to announce that our school paper has qualified for the NATIONAL SCHOOLS PRESS CONFERENCE (NSPC) 2024. Thank you for your unwavering support and trust. Dive into the stories that made us stand out!
Embracing GenAI - A Strategic ImperativePeter Windle
Artificial Intelligence (AI) technologies such as Generative AI, Image Generators and Large Language Models have had a dramatic impact on teaching, learning and assessment over the past 18 months. The most immediate threat AI posed was to Academic Integrity with Higher Education Institutes (HEIs) focusing their efforts on combating the use of GenAI in assessment. Guidelines were developed for staff and students, policies put in place too. Innovative educators have forged paths in the use of Generative AI for teaching, learning and assessments leading to pockets of transformation springing up across HEIs, often with little or no top-down guidance, support or direction.
This Gasta posits a strategic approach to integrating AI into HEIs to prepare staff, students and the curriculum for an evolving world and workplace. We will highlight the advantages of working with these technologies beyond the realm of teaching, learning and assessment by considering prompt engineering skills, industry impact, curriculum changes, and the need for staff upskilling. In contrast, not engaging strategically with Generative AI poses risks, including falling behind peers, missed opportunities and failing to ensure our graduates remain employable. The rapid evolution of AI technologies necessitates a proactive and strategic approach if we are to remain relevant.
Francesca Gottschalk - How can education support child empowerment.pptxEduSkills OECD
Francesca Gottschalk from the OECD’s Centre for Educational Research and Innovation presents at the Ask an Expert Webinar: How can education support child empowerment?
Francesca Gottschalk - How can education support child empowerment.pptx
Tools and Techniques for Managing and Resolving Conflict
1. Welcome to
Tools and Techniques
for
Managing and Resolving Conflict
Amanda Murphy
Project and Research Specialist,
The William D. Ruckelshaus Center
Extension Faculty, Washington State University
Phone: (206) 219-2409
E-mail:amanda.g.murphy@wsu.edu
www.RuckelshausCenter.wsu.edu
2. Mission
• Neutral resource for collaborative problem solving
• Expertise that improves the availability and quality of
voluntary collaborative approaches.
• Help public, private, tribal, non-profit and other
community leaders work together, build consensus and
resolve public policy conflicts.
• Advance teaching and
research missions of the
two universities by bringing
real-world policy issues to
the academic setting.
3. Services
• Neutral Forum
• Situation Assessment
• Facilitation, Mediation, Conflict Resolution
• Project Management, Strategic Planning
• Applied Research
• Information Portal
• Training
• Policy Discussions
4. Webinar Series
Session 1: Understanding and Responding to Conflict - July 18,
2012
Session 2: Effective Communication: The
basis of conflict resolution - July 25, 2012
Session 3: A Framework for Problem
Solving - August 1, 2012
5. Where are you located?
What department/area do you work in?
What’s one thing you hope to learn from this
session?
6. Session 1 Objectives
• Define Conflict
• Introduce Types of Conflict
• Introduce Conflict Styles
• Introduce Skills for Responding
to Conflict and De-Escalating
Emotions
7. What words come to mind when you think of
the word “Conflict”?
8. What is Conflict?
Definition: A conflict occurs when two or more parties
perceive that they have mutually incompatible values,
priorities or goals.
9. Conflict Characteristics
• Normal, inherently neither good nor bad
• Can be stressful and unpleasant
• Is a process, rather than a moment in time
• Rarely just about the content
• Does not have to result in winners and losers
• An opportunity for positive change
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
– Albert Einstein
10. Steps to Resolving Conflict
1. Understand the Conflict
2. Create a Positive Atmosphere
3. Develop a Mutual Understanding
4. Problem Solve
11. Causes of Conflict
Adapted from:
Christopher Moore, The Mediation Process, Third Edition (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass), 2003.
13. Avoid
When this style is appropriate:
•Issue is trivial
•Cooling off period is needed
•Timing is wrong
When this style is not appropriate:
•Issue is important and conflict will not disappear, but
instead continue to get worse
14. Accommodate
When this style is appropriate:
•Maintaining the relationship more important
•Issue is very important to the other person and not to
you
When this style is not appropriate:
•Issue is important to you
•Lead to evading the issue when others are ready to
address it
15. Compete
When this style is appropriate:
•A decision needs to be made quickly
•Agreed upon that power comes with position of
authority
•Unpopular decision needs to be made
When this style is not appropriate:
•Losers are powerless to express themselves
•Feelings are sensitive
•Decision is not urgent
16. Compromise
When this style is appropriate:
•A decision needs to be made sooner rather than later
•Both parties are better off than attempting a win/lose
When this style is not appropriate:
•Situation is urgent
•Unbalanced power
•Many important needs must be met
17. Collaborate
When this style is appropriate:
•An important decision must be made
•Situation is not urgent
•Previous resolution attempts have failed
When this style is not appropriate:
•The matter is trivial to all involved
•Time, commitment and ability are not present
18. Which of the styles best describes the way you dealt
with conflict?
What were the results of your
chosen style?
Is there another style you would prefer to
have used?
Why?
19. Conflict Approaches
Competing Collaborating
•Low relationship •High relationship
•High Issue •High Issue
•Win/lose power •Expand range of
struggle possible options
ASSERTIVENESS
•Goal is win/win
Compromising
•Relationship undamaged
•Goal is to find “middle
ground”
Avoiding Accommodating
•Low relationship •High relationship
•Low Issue •Low Issue
•Withdraw from the •Give in to other party
situation •Maintain harmony
•Maintain neutrality
Adapted from Kenneth Thomas &
Ralph Kilmann, 1974.
COOPERATIVENESS
21. Think of a recent conflict. What emotion(s) did
you feel?
In what part of your body do you experience
these emotions?
What effect do emotions have on the outcome of
a conflict?
22. Our Brain’s Response to Stress
Fight, Flight or Freeze ?
Nature has designed us to react to
'danger signals' faster than
conscious thought.
23. What Does an Emotional
Person Want?
• To Vent
• To Be Heard
• To Be Understood
• To Feel Cared About
25. CA RE
2
• Control Yourself
• Attend
• Acknowledge
• Reflect
• Explore
26. Control Yourself
Before you can de-escalate someone else,
you must first de-escalate yourself.
•Observe the Situation
•Observe Your Own Reaction
•Slow and Depend Your Breathing
•Relax Your Muscles
TIP:
•Get Space or Assistance Simply Admitting to
Yourself That You Are
Becoming Emotional Is
the Biggest Step to De-
Escalating Yourself.
27. Attend
• Listen and Wait to Respond
• Let Them Vent
• Don’t Try to Tone Them Down
• Suspend Judgment
• Listen for Content and Feeling
28. Acknowledge
• Open, Inviting Posture
• Verbal Acknowledgments
• Eye Contact (this is culture specific)
• Relax, Slow Breathing, Decrease Voice Volume
• Empathize and Validate
• Apologize As Appropriate
• Assure of Your Intent
29. Reflect
• Reflect (What You Heard) Back Content and
Feeling
• “Let me check with you if I’m following. You
feel (state feeling) because (state content)…
30. Explore
• Explore and Clarify What You Didn’t Hear
• “I’m not clear on that: can you say more about
that?”
• “So the main concern you have is…?
• Keep Focused on the Issue
31. Summary and Close
Steps to Resolving Conflict:
2.Understand the Conflict
• Analyze the conflict situation – what is the
cause?
• Identify the appropriate conflict resolution
style.
3.Create A Positive Atmosphere
• CA2RE – neutralize your emotions and the
other person’s emotions
32. Next Sessions
Steps to Resolving Conflict:
3. Develop a Mutual Understanding
• Using communication skills to gain
information and understanding.
4. Problem Solve
• Using the problem solving framework.
Editor's Notes
Good morning everyone and welcome to the first of this three part series on managing and resolving conflict, its really a pleasure to be here and talking to you today on this topic. Before we begin, I want to briefly introduce the Ruckelshaus Center and who we are and what we do
Mission The mission of the William D. Ruckelshaus Center is to act as is a neutral resource for collaborative problem solving in the region. The Center provides expertise to improve the quality and availability of voluntary collaborative approaches for policy development and multi-party dispute resolution. Named for our founder and Advisory Board chair, devoted to his approach to collaborative problem solving. First and fifth head of EPA, leader of collaborative environmental policy initiatives such as Shared Strategy, US Oceans Commission, Puget Sound Partnership. Center a joint effort of Washington’s two research universities and was developed in response to requests from community leaders. Hosted at the University of Washington by the Daniel J. Evans School of Public Affairs and at Washington State University by WSU Extension. Building on the unique strengths of the two institutions, the Center is dedicated to assisting public, private, tribal, non-profit and other community leaders in their efforts to build consensus and resolve conflicts around difficult public policy issues. The Center also advances the teaching and research missions of the two universities by bringing real-world policy issue to the academic setting.
Services The Center responds where involvement by the Universities adds value and makes the prospects for a successful outcome more likely. This can be because the universities are seen by the involved parties as an acceptable convener where others are not, due to subject matter expertise, or a variety of other reasons. The universities benefit from the Center because it helps them meet their teaching, research and service missions. The community benefits because the resources and expertise at the universities are deployed to address real-world challenges. The Center’s services are shown above, add up to the toolkit of conflict resolution/collaborative policy making :
I imagine many of you have some familiarity with many of the concepts we will be looking at today and over the next few weeks and in many ways all of you have experienced and resolved conflict. The term conflict resolution simply means how you solve conflicts and my goal today and over the next sessions is to really get you thinking about conflict and how you resolve it in new ways. There are many processes available, which can often depend on the situation and type of conflict. This series is really an introduction to conflict in general and to introduce you to some of the skills and tools you can use to manage and resolve conflicts ranging from the everyday conflicts to those that require more than basic level skills to resolve, but don’t require more formal third party or leagal processes.
Common Responses Fight Anger Pain Impasse Destruction Fear Mistake Avoid Lose Control Hate Loss Bad Wrongdoing Draw attention to the different associations to conflict participants make. Some will describe conflicts as fight, disagreement, war. Others may identify causes e.g. difference of opinion or perspective, difference in personality. Others may note the feeling it engenders e.g. tension, anxiety stress.
Conflict is a word with a wide range of meanings that often creates a strong emotional response when people hear it. The word conflict is used to describe minor miscommunications between two people to war between nations. Since we are talking about one word with a multitude of meanings, Id like to narrow our focus to the following definition, to make sure we are working from the same understanding. The first part of the definition reminds us that conflict always has two sides. We can easily fall into the trap of regarding the two sides as enemies – there cannot be a win/win. Instead of having a clash of people, lets have a clash of ideas. The second part of the definition– “perceive their goals as incompatible” makes it possible to see conflict in another way – an opportunity to find a way for both goals to be achieved at once.
Conflict is not inherently good or bad, but it can be constructive or destructive. Good things can and do come from conflicts and when constructive, create new opportunities for ideas and solutions to surface. Poorly managed conflict can become destructive, creating negative emotions, actions and outcomes. Conflict for most people is not enjoyable and our natural response is eliminate or avoid it. Because it is inevitable and often stressful, we sometimes resort to inappropriate psychological defense mechanisms as a way to cope with the situation. Conflict is a process and when left unresolved, grows and escalates. Small misunderstandings, when left unaddressed can take a ride up the conflict escalator and morph into highly charges issues. Misinterpreting someones words or actions often leaves us to misinterpret their intentions. When we do that, depending on the situation, we may move up the escalator towards conflict, rather than down towards understanding. Asking questions is one way to stop the escalation and we will get to that later in the series. Conflict can be a win/win and we will look at this a little more later on. Good things can and do come from conflicts and when constructive, create new opportunities for ideas and solutions to surface.
There are many approaches to solving conflict and there are no magic formulas or one size fits all processes. However, these steps and the tools you will be introduced to will help you to be more aware of conflict situations and skills to help prevent, manage and resolve them.
When attempting to resolve a conflict, it helps to identify the origin of the problem. To understand whether the conflict is simple or complex. Uncover underlying causes. Understand appropriate style to use to resolve. I came across the book “The Mediation Process: Practical Strategies for Resolving Conflict” by Christopher Moore, and one of the key concepts within the book is the circle of conflict. Data, structural, relationships, values and interests make up the five wedges of the circle. Each wedge can be the source of the problem or multiple wedges can be the cause of the problem. You can use this concept to help you figure out what is the origin of all of your headaches. Consider learning about this concept as adding another tool to your problem-solver tool kit. Data or information . One of the causes of your problem could be that you are either missing information or the information you have is flawed. Or you could have different views of what information is relevant. Sometimes it’s different interpretations of the data or different ways the data is assessed. The key point here is that data or information is the root of the problem. Structural. To better understand this wedge, think of how larger systems can impact the problem. A difference in power or authority is a good example of a structural problem. Another example is who controls resources and how are those resources allocated or dispersed. Time constraints could be another cause of the conflict. This wedge is all about the systemic or structural factors that contribute to the problem. Relationships. Misperceptions or stereotypes of others are common causes of relationship conflicts. Poor communication or miscommunication is often the instigator of many conflicts. The theme to this wedge is how folks relate to each other and does their behavior contribute to the problem? Values. Different ways of life, ideology or worldview are examples of how what you value can be part of the problem. Having different criteria for evaluating ideas is another example. This wedge is all about what folks value and if they are on the same page about those values. Interests. Interests are the ‘why’ in any problem. Most people will tell you ‘what’ they want, which we call their position. Interests are why they want it. Interests are the motivation for the action. They are what is behind the position, that is, the real need or desire of the person. This final wedge asks us to look at the motivations of others to determine if this could be a root cause of the problem. By using the circle of conflict, you can begin to analyze the problem from a more objective viewpoint and untangle your problem with less effort and wasted energy. So when in doubt, consider the circle of conflict. Wherever the conflict lies, once the area that the problem originates from is identified, the solution can be geared toward the problem area. The real issue may be lost in all of the bad feelings which have surfaced. Identifying the area of the problem will help move towards a solution.
In the 1970s Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness. They argued that people typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However they also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations. These conflict styles are generally not consciously chosen, but emerge as actions that have been learned since childhood from everyday encounters, arguments or disagreements. We tend to use a style depending on the situation but research has shown that we all have an order of preference among the styles. Once you understand the different styles, you can use them to think about the most appropriate approach (or mixture of approaches) for the situation you're in. You can also think about your own instinctive approach, and learn how you need to change this if necessary. Ideally you can adopt an approach that meets the situation, resolves the problem, respects people's legitimate interests, and mends damaged working relationships.
Deny or avoid conflict; hold in feelings; accept decisions without question.
Agree and go along because it's easier; smooth over situations; adjust opinions or feelings rather than risk a conflict.
Approach as a win-lose proposition; more powerful and do not need the other party.
Both parties give up something to meet midway; seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something.
View conflict as a problem to be solved and to seek win-win solutions.
Think of a recent conflict you were involved in.
Reiterate: Most of us have a “natural” conflict resolution style that corresponds with one of the five modes shown above. Our preferred styles are influenced by our personality and experience dealing with conflict. However, not all conflict situations are the same and all of these modes can be used effectively in the right situation. It’s important to develop our ability to choose the right mode and increase our level of comfort with alternative styles.
So far we have looked at ways to understand conflict. We have defined conflict, looked at the types and causes of conflict, and introduced common conflict styles. Now we are going to look at the second step in our conflict resolution process, which is creating a positive atmosphere. How we react to conflict situations often determines whether or not we will produce a constructive or destructive outcome. I have here a video for you all to watch that a collegue of mine from Oregon Consensus Center introduced me to and we used during a training session we did, that I found useful. While watching the video, Id like you to think about how reactions can either escalate or de-escalate conflict situations. After video… That was a clip from the TV sitcom Malcolm in the Middle . What wasent shown in this clip, but happens after in the episode is Lois the mother in the show played by Jane Kaczmarek explaining to her husband the incident, and all she can say is “I don’t know what happened”. I imagine many of us, or at least to myself can think of a situation where emotions took over and later thought to yourself, how did that happen, how did that get so out of control.
Id like you to think of a recent conflict you were involved in and write down some of the emotions you felt and in what part of your body you were experiencing them. Id also like you to think about what the effect emotions have on the outcome of a conflict – what was the outcome of the video?
Before we can control our reactions, we must know nature has designed us to react to 'danger signals' faster than conscious thought. While in conflict, an overwhelming majority of our behaviors, emotions and perceptions are arising from the non-rational and emotional parts of our brains. It's called the limbic system. A very generalised model of what happens during normal responses to anxiety is this; a person enounters some environmental cue that signals danger, for example, they see a tiger. This information is sent to the amygdala, which gets fired up and starts sending out "fight or flight" responses to other parts of the brain. However, the vmPFC, being involved in "higher thinking", has a quiet word with the amygdala, saying "look, the tiger is in a cage, you know what a cage is, tigers can't escape from cages, it's OK, calm down". Another part of the brain, the hippocampus, helps out, providing information about the context of the event (we're at a zoo, we know what zoo's look like, we've seen them before). In summary, the vmPFC inhibits the amygdala to keep fearful responses in check. The basic conflict, is between the amygdala, or the emotional and fearful part of the brain, and the frontal cortex, which can calm the amygdala and sort things out rationally. Curiously, there is a limit to what the rational brain can handle. People cant deal with an issue rationally when emotions are swirling. Basically, when you are emotional and in an argument (or fight), the limbic system guides your actions, feelings, words and even your perception of 'reality.' Your brain is bathed in different chemicals and rational thought is impaired. What confuses many people about this idea is just because non-rational parts of the brain are active, doesn't mean we lose the ability to talk. Worse, is because it's going on inside of our heads people think they are thinking. While technically speaking we are still processing information, that isn't the same thing as 'rational' thought.
In conflict between people, expressions of overt anger, argumentativeness, nastiness or hostility are some of the most difficult things to deal with. This type of resistance can infuse a whole room with negative, angry energy. The person expressing these emotions is in no mood to listen, negotiate, reason rationally or brainstorm. Unfortunately, it can also elicit an equally strong emotional response from the others involved, which can further derail effective communication. Knowing how to deal with these types of emotional situations is an important skill.
Secret to dealing with resistance is not to fight it but to join it. This does not mean giving in. Its more like Akidio or Judo, where from a balanced position, moving to align with the ‘attacking’ energy so that’s its possible to begin to change the direction of that energy. Fighting back directly is not usually very effective. Think about the last time you were in an argument, who was right (of course you were!). Did the person arguing with you make you changer your mind (probably not)? Resistance and argumentativeness depend on separateness (you vs. me). However, the more you are like me, the more you understand me, the harder it is to single out you as an other and attack. The goal is to help the person feel understood and listened to, and you can do this using the CARE method.
Observe the Situation Identify if there is a true immediate threat. Observe Your Own Reaction Pause, wait, count to ten if needed.
Many people think listening is easy. In fact, it often requires years of practice to learn how to listen effectively. It is very difficult to not make assumptions, judgments, or responses when listening. Yet it is very important to let yourself focus on listening rather than thinking about your own concerns. Pay attention to unspoken body language, gestures, voice tone, attitude. Sit to converse in a quiet environment. Listen for the emotions beneath the words. listening carefully without interrupting, maintaining eye contact, and allowing the other to form their thoughts and define what they need to say. Try to find a meaning in what the other is saying. Repeat what you hear being said to give it time to marinate in your mind and confirm it was heard acurately.
When people get along with one another, they naturally blend by mirroring each other’s body posture, facial expressions, tone, and level of animation. This is a nature occurrence but be careful not to overdo it and always be sensitive to cross-cultural messages. It is not necessary to do so much nonverbal blending that the other person notices what is happening and feels like they are being mocked. Never blend with hostile gestures! S quarely Face Person O pen Posture L ean a Little Toward the Person V erbal Acknowledgments: “Yes”,“OK”,“I see” E ye Contact (this is culture specific) R elax, Slow Breathing, Decrease Voice Volume Empathize and Validate “ I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue.” Apologize As Appropriate I’m sorry about my… (statement/reaction). I was getting upset. “ I’m sorry that happened.” Assure of Your Intent “ I want to understand what has upset you.” "I believe we can work together to resolve this problem.”
When people express themselves verbally, they want feedback that they have been heard and understood. By helping a person to express themselves completely, you increase the likelihood of them being able and even willing to hear you in return. Understanding occurs on two levels -- emotionally (the person feels that you understand what they are feeling) and intellectually (the person believes that you understand what they are saying). Repeating some of the key words that the other person is using can also send a clear message that you are listening.
Clarifying questions are open-ended questions designed to get a response. The benefits of asking clarifying questions include: 1) to gather better information than what is initially offered; 2) to help the other person become more rational; 3) to demonstrate that you care; 4) you can surface hidden agendas; and 5) you can manage the situation down.