The document discusses how to handle difficult conversations in the workplace. It describes common difficult topics like performance feedback, inappropriate behavior, and termination. It also discusses how cultural differences can impact conversations. The presenter provides strategies for having difficult conversations, including exploring all perspectives, focusing on mutual understanding rather than blame, and using open-ended questions to have a productive dialogue. The goal is to acknowledge different feelings and viewpoints, find shared objectives, and work toward resolution through respectful inquiry and problem-solving.

1. Deepak Babu
Regional Sales Director – Dell Services
How to handle
Difficult Conversations
NAAAP – Milwaukee - Professional Development & Networking Conference
June 2016

2. 1.Introduction
2.What would you
like to hear?
3.Key Takeaways
Speaker
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Regional Sales Director – Dell Services

3. What is a Difficult Conversation ?
Message
Emotions
Fear Anxiety Anger Frustration
It is unpleasant to deliver and receive..
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1,2,3….#,$,@.......

4. Common Difficult Conversations..
Salary/Money Bad Performance
Feedback
Inappropriate
Behavior
Deny an increase Termination I made a big mistake
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5. Globalization – The Cultural Dimension
Impacts everyday activities at work
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https://geert-hoftede.com/countries.html

6. You think you are alone ??
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

7. 43%
31%
29%
29%
21%
0% 5% 10% 15% 20% 25% 30% 35% 40% 45% 50%
Not knowing how the other person will respond
Not being able to get a point across clearly
Being in a confrontational situation
Getting upset or emotional
The other person getting upset or emotional
Common concerns
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

8. Process of Difficult Conversation
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Attribution
Difficult Conversations:
How to Discuss What
Matters Most
By
Douglas Stone(Author),
Bruce Patton (Author),
Sheila Heen (Author),

9. Let’s dissect it..
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10. The “What
Happened
Conversation”
The Feeling
Conversation
The Identity
Conversation
Decoding the three Conversations
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What’s the
story here ?
How do I feel?
What should I do
with my feelings?What does this
say about me ?

11.  Explore; Offer your view as
perception and interpretation
 Good intent doesn’t excuse
bad Impact
 Shift to a mutual contribution
system
How to handle it
 The Truth Assumptions
 The Intention Invention
 The Blame Game
Crippling Assumptions
“What happened” Conversation
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12. Have you ever been
accused of putting 2
and 2 together and
making 5 ?
Ladder of
Inference
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https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm

13. “The Feelings” Conversation
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14. The Identity Conversation
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Three common identity concepts
• Am I competent?
• Am I a good person?
• Am I worthy of love?
Difficult conversations threaten our identity.

15. Worksheet for preparation
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16. Back to the process – Dialogue
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What can you do?
− Notice when concerns are “at play”
− Make sure you have a shared goal
− Always demonstrate respect

17. Resolution
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Use inquiry for learning
• Don’t make statements disguised as questions
• Don’t cross-examine
• Ask open ended questions
• Remain authentic
Acknowledge the feelings behind any arguments
and accusations before problem-solving --
acknowledging is not agreeing

18. TALK
T – Think about framing how you think about the conversation differently. Don’t
label it as ‘difficult’. It may be about a tricky subject but, by suggesting solutions
or alternatives, you can focus on constructive outcomes
A – Always use clear, simple and neutral language. Refer to specific examples
and facts
L – Listen to what the other person is saying and hear their point of view. Show
you care about how they see things
K – Keep the focus on the issue, not the person
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http://www.managers.org.uk/campaigns/difficult-conversations

19. Thank you
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Deepak Babu
Regional Sales Director – Dell Services
@sensibl
linkedin.com/in/deepakbabu
Please feel free to contact with comments and questions