Thanks so much for making your appointment with me, Kimberly! As a reminder, please note we only have a set amount of time for your review before we have to move on to our next appointments. However, during that time, we will be able to cover quite a bit! In addition to this, as a Walden student, you are permitted to have up to two writing appointments per week (and you can send an unlimited about of questions between appointments to our email address I will give you below ????). This means that we can work on this, or other documents, later this week if you would like. You are also able to make appointments ahead of time to guarantee you have a slot booked! As per your review form, you would like this review to focus on: • APA 7 • Scholarly Writing Paragraph Formatting/Overall Structure & Movement White-collar Crimes Kimberly Vamper Walden University FD002 Introduction to Criminal Justice Research David Dibari 12-09-2020 White-collar Crimes In these modern times, various crimes are being committed. You will want a stronger hook here that shows the reader exactly what you will be addressing in your paper. A hook for an introduction, generally, works with the thesis statement. The hook will inform the reader of the general idea of the paragraph and essay, while the thesis statement will give the reader a more focused understanding of this material. A good way to see if these are done successfully is to ready only the hook and the thesis statement of an introduction. If you are able to see the broad idea of the paper through the hook, and the more focused concept through the thesis statement, then you have written a well-crafted hook and a detailed thesis statement.In some of these crimes, there is the use of lethal weapons, while some do not require the use of lethal weapons or force, but they are associated with some form of sophisticated fraud, popularly known as white-collar crimes (More, 2020). You want to avoid using paraphrases or direct quotes in your introduction/conclusion so that you can show the reader your understanding of the materials, and then back your information with citations throughout your body paragraphs to so the reader the research you have done. This expository paper analyzes the topic of white-collar crimes in criminal justice and its causes and effects. The term white-collar crime was first conceived in 1939 by an American sociologist, Edwin Sutherland, who defined white-collar crime as “a crime committed by a person of respectability and high social status in the course of their occupation.” (More, 2020). In academic writing you do not want to use direct quotes or paraphrases in your first or last sentence of your paragraph or section. In using your own original thoughts and ideas for these instances you are showing the reader that you fully understand the materials, and are using the research of others to supplement the readers understanding, not your own. In using paraphrasing or .