This document summarizes key points from the book "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High". It discusses that crucial conversations are important discussions when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. These conversations require specific skills like making others feel safe to share openly without attacks. The document outlines tools like STATE to share your perspective and AMPP to understand others. It also discusses different methods to make decisions and commitments to reach mutually agreeable actions from crucial discussions.

1. ManagingManaging
Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations
; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

2. Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations
;; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are HighTools for Talking When Stakes Are High
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run
strong, you have three choices ;
1. Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the
consequences
2. Handle the conversation badly and suffer the
consequences or
3. Read "Crucial Conversations and discover how to
communicate best when it matters most

3. Recognizing a Crucial ConversationRecognizing a Crucial Conversation
Three key elements of crucial conversation ;
- Opinions vary
- The stakes are significant
- Feelings are strong
Influential people are skilled in discussing difficult,
controversial, high-stakes topics

4. The Importance of Talking EarnestlyThe Importance of Talking Earnestly
At the heart of mastering crucial conversations is the
ability to engage in dialogue.
The key to engaging in dialogue in a crucial
conversation is building the “shared pool” of ideas by
making it safe for others to open up and express
themselves.

5. Know What You Really WantKnow What You Really Want
Knowing what you really want and staying focused on
it will be the “North Star” to guide you.
“Sucker’s Choice” trap ;
I have only two bad options – for example, disagree
with the boss and suffer the consequences or shut up.
A greater choice is usually available through dialogue if
you focus on what you want to achieve.

6. Learning to Recognize Crucial ConversationsLearning to Recognize Crucial Conversations
Three key signs of crucial conversation ;
1. physical (stomach tightening up), emotional (feeling
scared, hurt, or angry) or behavioral signals (raising your
voice or pointing your finger)
2. Unsafe feeling : silence or a sense of incipient violence
3. Own style at growing stress : silence (masking, avoiding
or withdrawing) or violence (controlling, labeling or
attacking verbally)

7. Making It SafeMaking It Safe
Create a sense of safety when others fall silent or
seem to be moving to anger or violence.
In these cases, you’d better remove yourself from the
conversation, let tensions cool and try to return to a
starting point of mutual concerns.

8. Making It SafeMaking It Safe
Different responses to major safety risks ;
1. Mutual purpose – When others think you want harm
them and don’t trust your motives, look for a mutual
purpose that will motivate the others to be willing to
listen to your concerns.
2. Mutual respect – When others sense you are not
respecting them, apologize for any action that may
have shown disrespect and emphasize that you do
respect them.

9. Stating Your Path andStating Your Path and
Exploring the Paths of OthersExploring the Paths of Others
With your emotions under control, share your
information with confidence, humility and skill.
State your path by using the STATE ;
- Share the facts you have.
- Tell the story you want to present.
- Ask others to express their stories or paths.
- Talk with tentativeness.
- Encourage testing.

10. Stating Your Path andStating Your Path and
Exploring the Paths of OthersExploring the Paths of Others
Explore the paths of others by using the AMPP ;
- Ask to start the conversational process going.
- Mirror back.
- Paraphrase.
- Prime the pump.

11. Moving to ActionMoving to Action
Methods of decision-making to turn conversation into a
good decision and mutually agreed-upon united action ;
- Command : Ask someone you believe will make a
good decision to decide.
- Consult : Ask others for their input to influence you
before you decide.
- Vote : Take a vote from others on what the decision
should be.
- Consensus : Talk with others until everyone comes to
agree on one choice.

12. Moving to ActionMoving to Action
Note the commitments people have made and hold
them responsible for their promises.

13. Thank you !!Thank you !!