This document outlines an agenda for a 2-hour Crucial Conversations training. It will be split between discussing concepts and practicing skills in groups. The training will cover how to identify high-stakes conversations, understand different approaches people take and make better choices. Participants will learn about seeking shared understanding rather than just fighting or fleeing, and how to manage strong emotions. Role plays are used to practice applying the skills, such as making conversations safe by being honest yet respectful. The overall goal is to empower people to have better quality conversations that improve their lives.

1. Crucial Conversations Facilitator Guide
Introduction
This course will take approximately 2 hours, or two, 1 hour sessions.
It will be split between discussing concepts and practicing in groups.
(First 15) Be on the Lookout
2. Look For:
a. High Stakes
b. Opposing Opinions
c. Strong Emotion
3. How do we normally approach / react to these conversations?
4. What choices do we have?
(16-30 Minutes) Sucker’s Choice vs. The Shared Pool of Meaning
1. Sucker’s Choice
a. The choice between Fight or Flight:
i. Fight
1. Controlling
2. Labeling
3. Attacking
ii. Flight
1. Masking
2. Avoiding
3. Withdrawing
2. Crucial Conversation Model, and the Shared Pool of Meaning (Discuss Handout)
3. Shared Pool of Meaning
a. Collaboration we change into problem solving people
b. We Let Go of our Stories (Emotion) and become rational
4. Practice: Role Play #1

2. Crucial Conversations Facilitator Guide
(31-60 Minutes) Master My Stories
4. Start with Heart, when conversations become crucial, 3 problems:
a. Our Motives degrade first, into Unhealthy Goals (Discuss Chart):
b. Heart Problems (As Emotions Escalate)
1.) We Become Blind to Our Own Role
2.) We Limit Our Choices
c. What We Can Do
1.) Hold Stories Lightly
2.) Ask / Know Exactly What You Want and What You Don’t Want
a.) Complex Thoughts Counter our Adrenalin (fight or flight nature)
b.) We Get Unstuck
d. Practice
1.) Play Mother and Daughter Argument Video (1:05)
a.) What happened?
b.) How can Crucial Conversations change this conversation?
c.) What were the motives?
d.) How could motives change the results of a conversation?
(61-90 Minutes) Make It Safe
5. Be Honest
a. You can’t be too honest.
b. If it’s safe, you can talk about anything with almost anyone.
c. Video: Salomeh Diaz (6:27)
d. Our stories create our emotions, and we create our stories
e. We take information in through our eyes ~80%
f. We need to hold our stories lightly, then engage our brains rationally
g. Victor Franco: in Man’s Search for Meaning “When everything is taken from us there is
one thing that remains-- the power to choose one’s attitude in any given
circumstance.”

3. Crucial Conversations Facilitator Guide
6. Role Play #2
7. Contrasting Statements
a. Step Out, Use Contrast Statements to Fix Misunderstanding
1.) Use “Don’t” Statements to Express What You Did Not Intend
2.) Use “Do” Statements to Confirm Respect and Clarify
b. Role Play # 3 Practice Contrast Statements With a Partner
(91-120 Minutes)
8. Stories are the Master Key Mutual Purpose
a. Mutual Respect
1.) You might not have any
2.) Get Some!
3.) Mutual Purpose
9. Paths to Success
a. Look for early warning signs
b. Step out of the context of the conversation, re-establish safety
1.) You Care About Their Best Interests
2.) You Care About Them
c. Step Back Into Conversation
d. Ask Yourself, “What do I really want?”
e. Safety is the Foundation of Trust
f. Step Out of Content, Rebuild Mutual Trust, then Return to Content
10. Role Play #3
11. Conversation Planner:talk through each line item
1.) See Participants Guide and work with a partner to plan this conversation
Mission: “Empower People to create quality conversations & thereby improve the quality of their life.”
1. Welcome: Firefighters First Culture
a. Competence
b. Excellence
c. Positivity