it is also about Communication Styles, Managing Motivation to Influence Interpersonal Communication – Role of emotion in Inter personal Communication

1. BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
JYYOTHEES MV asst. professor source: Google Page 1
Unit – 3
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
There are a number of ways to define communication styles. It seems that every self-help or
public speaking book has yet another way to categorize the ways people prefer to
communicate. The labels placed on the various communication styles are much less
important than taking the time to simply consider what your own style might be. The more
you know about the various styles of communication, the more effective you can be, not just
in making your own points, but also in understanding what others are trying to communicate
to you.
One common method for determining communication styles is to break them down into the
following categories: Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive.
Passive Communication
Those who use a passive style of communication often keep their own feelings hidden from
others. The goal with this type of communication is to avoid conflict. Rather than risk
causing some sort of upset, the Passive Communicator will avoid expressing his or her own
opinions and will accept those of others instead.
If the Passive Communicator does choose to express an opinion, it will usually be done very
quietly, and he or she is unlikely to defend it very strongly. In addition to a quiet tone of
voice, passive communication can be recognized by the way in which the individual avoids
eye contact. Because the Passive Communicator is so concerned about avoiding conflict, he
or she is constantly holding back personal opinions in favor of those of others. This is the
person who doesn't want to "rock the boat."
The Passive Communicator will often say things like:
 I don't know.
 You decide.
 It doesn't matter to me.
 Whatever you think.
This inability to stand up for oneself has some major disadvantages, though. Unfortunately,
someone who always engages in passive communication may eventually "blow up" from the
pressure of always deferring to other people's ideas and opinions.
The Passive Communicator tends to get very little accomplished. He or she doesn't offer
ideas on how to do things better or more efficiently, for example. In an effort not to be
singled out, he or she is unlikely to do an exceptional job in the workplace.

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Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication has a lot to do with trying to protect one's own ideas and
opinions. The Aggressive Communicator is so concerned with having his or her ideas
accepted that they often do so at the expense of others. This person tends to look at every
situation as if it is a battle, and he or she wants to win.
This type of communication generally includes the use of a loud voice. In fact, Aggressive
Communicators may often appear to be quite angry. This is because they know that others are
less likely to question them out of fear of being attacked. Eye contact is often used in a way
that makes it intimidating. The words used may also be quite intimidating, and an Aggressive
Communicator can go so far as to verbally abuse others.
The Aggressive Communicator will often say things like:
 We do it my way, or we don't do it at all.
 Your idea is stupid.
 Feelings don't matter.
 I know what's best.
The Aggressive Communicator will use manipulation to get his or her way. This might
include attempting to make others feel guilty, or trying to control their actions. These people
will often go so far as to use covert tactics to be sure that things are done their way. While
these methods may work on the surface, they do little to foster any real relationships. While
the Aggressive Communicator may be getting a point across, he or she is likely not hearing
and accepting the ideas of others. This leads to a lack of respect and trust from friends,
family, co-workers, and customers.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
While passive communication and aggressive communication are very different from one
another, they can actually be combined to create a third communication style. Passive-
Aggressive Communicators tend to avoid obvious conflict, but there is still a need to
manipulate the situation. In many cases, there is some sort of "payback" given in return for
having their opinions overlooked. The individual appears to go along with decisions but does
so in order to get revenge later.
Some of the common tactics of the Passive-Aggressive Communicator are to agree with
others to their faces and then belittle them behind their backs. Sarcasm is one of the biggest
tools for this type of interaction. Passive-Aggressive Communicators may enjoy watching
others fail because things were not done their way in the first place. Back-handed
compliments are another tactic employed.

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The Passive-Aggressive Communicator will often say things like:
 That's fine with me, but don't be surprised if someone else gets mad.
 You did a great job. No one will probably notice that mistake.
 Sure we can do things your way. (Then mutters to self that "your way" is stupid.)
Passive-aggressive communication has a lot to do with sabotage. The individual may feel
powerless and therefore finds ways to subtly manipulate the situation. Passive-Aggressive
Communicators don't feel like they can directly confront the cause of their frustration, so they
do their best to "get back at" it. This can extend to gossiping and finding ways to disrupt
others.
Assertive Communication
The most effective communication style is assertive communication. This includes really
sharing opinions, as well as advocating for one's own rights. Unlike the Aggressive
Communicator, though, this person will not trample on the rights and opinions of others.
Assertive Communicators are able to balance a respect for themselves, with a respect for
others.
Many of the tactics employed by Assertive Communicators include things like using a calm,
clear tone of voice, actually interacting with others, not interrupting, avoiding manipulation
(either manipulating others or being manipulated), using good eye contact, and remaining in
control of one's self. This leads to communication that is a two-way street, and the Assertive
Communicator is likely to garner respect from those around him or her. This also allows for
growth, as everyone involved is allowed to hear different opinions and share their own
thoughts and ideas.
The Assertive Communicator will often say things like:
I hear what you're saying.
 I would appreciate it if you would . . .
 How can we work this out?
Assertive communication is also the best choice, because it avoids a lot of the emotional
outbursts that are prevalent with the other types of communication. It is easier to solve
problems when they do arise. It can be difficult to stay on track, however, especially when
dealing with different types of communicators. It is important to avoid getting defensive, and
to try to remain as objective as possible. It is possible that someone else's idea really is better
than yours. On the other hand, it's possible that you have the best idea in the room, and the
Assertive Communicator will advocate for it.
If communication is just getting shut down, the Assertive Communicator may have to stop
the conversation and pick it up another time when tempers aren't flaring. It's best to validate

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the other people's experiences and feelings by saying things like, "I can see why you feel that
way." This means that the Assertive Communicator must also be willing to hear what others
have to say, and it's possible that others will have good points. This type of communication is
effective, because both parties are willing to look at themselves and change or compromise
when the situation calls for it.
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Interpersonal communication is the process to express feelings, ideas, thoughts, information,
and emotions. It usually takes place in the form of a message. This can be in the form of
verbal (words) or non-verbal (how anything is said) communication.
Unlike intrapersonal, group or mass, interpersonal communication takes place between two
people only. Everybody communicates on interpersonal level regularly. So, it can be
conscious or unconscious activity.
Interpersonal communication is useful in establishing relationships between two people.
When two people communicate, they form a bond, even if it is for a short period of time.
What is interpersonal communication skills?
Interpersonal communication skill is how well an individual communicates. These skills are
also known as social skills or people skills. Every individual uses it to interact with the other,
be it an individual or a group.
Level of interpersonal skills is measured through the effectiveness of meaning transferred
through the message.
It is one of the most important life skill as our personal, social and professional life rely on it.
Types of interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication can be further divided into other skills. Interpersonal skills are
dependent upon these other skills. They are
Verbal communication skills
Everything we speak using words fall under verbal communication. And, the skill to use
these words effectively is verbal communication skill. Communicating with another person
and building relationships need verbal communication.
Non-verbal communication skills
Communication without words is non-verbal communication. It is the body language,
gestures, facial expressions, silence, aesthetics, etc. of an individual.
Non-verbal communication skills send and receive effective non-verbal cues. This skill is a
must-have for proper communication and understanding cues given by others. Non-verbal

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communication skills help in interaction and relationship building like from empathy and
sympathy.
Listening skills
Listening skills are needed to receive messages given by others. It is needed to give feedback
accordingly. Good listening skills can only make interpreting words and non-verbal
communication possible.
Negotiation skills
Negotiation skills are important for relationship building as relationships need trust and
peace. These skills deal with resolving conflicts by focusing on mutual agreement. By
negotiation, people come to settle for the same goals and outcomes.
Assertiveness skills
Being able to influence people is an important skill. You create influence with your own
ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and wants. This skill is assertiveness skill which helps in creating and
maintaining relationships.
Decision making and problem-solving skills
Making decisions and solving problems are skills which help in relationship maintenance.
Decisions create harmony in a social environment and help relationships prosper whereas
problems destroy them.
There are other important skills for interpersonal communication like questioning skills,
interviewing skills, etc.
Elements of interpersonal communication

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The major elements of interpersonal communication are as follows:
Communicators
Communicators are the people involved in the communication process. In interpersonal
communication, there is involvement of at least two people. They play the role of sender and
receiver and exchange messages.
It is a two-way process where the exchange of information can also occur simultaneously.
Non-verbal communication continues even in the absence of verbal exchange of words.
Message
Messages are the words or signals, gestures and other non-verbal cues used to communicate.
It is sent by one person to the other continuously and so goes the process of communication.
Channel
Channel or medium is physical means used to send messages from one person to another.
These mediums could be voice or sight for Face-to-face communication. Similarly, there are
other mediums like phone, chat, video calls, etc.
Noise
Noise is the disruptions and distortions caused during the process of communication. It is
anything that doesn’t let the message pass on to the receiver as intended. Noise can be of
various types like physical, socio-cultural, language, semantic, etc.
Feedback
Feedback is the spontaneous reaction caused by reception of the message. It lets the sender
know that the message has reached. It also shows that the message has been interpreted as
intended. It can be in words or reactions. Further communication processes depend upon
feedback.
Context or environment
Social, cultural, physical or physiological contexts define the process of communication. It
shows why, how and in what way a communication takes place. This is as important as the
message itself. It influences both the message as well as noise.
Examples of interpersonal communication
For example, you are working in a big construction company and there is a team which has
to build a skyscraper. The work needs to be done carefully as the building is supposed to have
hundreds of floors.

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The team needs to make a decision to add more cement. And, this has to be done with a
unanimous voting. But, one member of the team does not talk to anyone else. He doesn’t give
his opinion and therefore, the voting becomes difficult. This shows how ineffective
interpersonal communication causes problems to many in professional settings.
Similarly, even in personal relationships, interpersonal communication is necessary. If in a
family, the dad doesn’t talk to his children. They will never know the nature of their dad. This
could cause problems in the family. The children might grow up to hate their dad for not
being there for them.
IDENTIFYING THE ROLE OF EMOTION IN INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
Emotion plays a large part in our ability to communicate effectively. The best communicators
use emotion in a positive manner, evidencing passion, drive, energy, trust, and calmness.
However, this skill is one that needs to be learned: it is a natural human trait for our emotions
to cloud our ability to communicate, giving away our feelings and disrupting our ability to
communicate effectively.
Stress: the devil that destroys effective communication
The major road block in establishing and continuing effective communication is stress. This
may be caused by a number of factors – some work related, others of a more personal nature
– but whatever the cause, surrender to stress results in a lessened ability to listen and read
other people as well as an increased likelihood of giving out false signals.
When poor communication is stress-led, all parties can degenerate to knee-jerk reaction. An
emotionally intelligent person is better able to manage their stress and reactions as well as the
reactions of others.
Everyday exercises to help manage stress
When considering the role of emotion in interpersonal communication, stress management is
one of the top strategies to adopt. When you are able to manage stress in a variety of
situations, not only will you communicate more effectively but you will earn the reputation of
being a calm and fast-thinker, and able decision maker.
If you realize that you are becoming stressed, here are a few everyday exercises to help you
manage stress levels and communicate in a calmer, more effective manner:
 Take time to calm down, and think before speaking
 Breath slowly, relax your muscles, and think of a positive image
 See the bright side of the situation, and take things a little less seriously. Look for
ways to diffuse conflict, such as sharing a funny story
 Use a care-fronting rather than confronting approach

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4 steps to remain stress free and communicate more effectively
1. Take a moment to breath
Don’t rush to respond. Take a second or two to breathe, gather thoughts, and process
information received. Don’t think it negative to ask for clarification of a question or previous
statement – this gives you time to think about how to answer.
2. Communicate one point at a time
Listeners have a limited time-frame of concentration. It is better to communicate one point at
a time, use examples to clarify your position, and allow the other person a chance to respond
accordingly. This gives you a chance to consider reaction, while drawing the correspondent
into a more meaningful exchange, building mutual trust and respect.
3. Use body language effectively
Think about your body language as you speak. Maintain eye contact, speak in an even tone,
and speak clearly and concisely. Choose words carefully, relax, and open yourself to the
communication exchange.
4. It helps to clarify your position
Having spoken, summarize your position and what you have said. Then allow the other
correspondent to talk. Even if there is silence, don’t feel the need to continue.