Lecture three, Interpersonal Communication

1. Emotional Messaging
Interpersonal Communication Lecture Three

2. A complex process
Difficult and Important
Thinking often confused
Lack of education and training
Needed to communicate
completely

3. Primary Emotions
 Sadness
 Contempt
 Anger
 Disgust
 Fear
 Interest
 Surprise
 Happiness

4. Blended emotions
 Any combination of a primary emotions
 Passion
 A blend of happiness and surprise
What is missing when
passion fades?

5. Three parts of emotion
Bodily reactions
Mental evaluations
Cultural Rules/Beliefs

6. Emotional Axioms
Emotions are often ADAPTIVE
Emotions can be MALADAPTIVE
Emotions are CONTAGIOUS

7. Activity – Conflict starters
 In groups – write a response to these statements
or questions that would move the
communication in a NEGATIVE direction:
1. Did you remember to make reservations?
2. Did you throw the towel on the floor again?
3. Just leave me alone.
4. You always spend to much money on things
we don’t need.

8. Skills for expressing – step 1
 INTRAPERSONAL
What am I feeling and what made me
feel this way?
What exactly do I want to
communicate?
What communication choices will be
the most effective

9. Skills for expressing – step 2
 INTERPERSONAL
 Be very specific
 Describe the reason for your feelings
 Address mixed feelings
 Anchor your feelings in the present
 Own your feelings
 Ask for what you want or need
 In your groups re-write the answers to
your conflict starters using these steps

10. ANGER
MANAGEMENT
 SCREAM
 Self
 Context
 Receiver
 Effect
 Aftermath
 Messages

11. Stop to consider...
Communicating anger Angry communication
 Stay calm and logical
 Examine choices
 Consider a delay
 Remember the principle of irreversibility