Chapter Eleven Improving Communication Climates Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Looking Out, Looking In 1 Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Communication climate: the emotional tone of a relationship Levels of message confirmation Confirming communication Disconfirming communication Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Levels of message confirmation (continued) Disconfirming messages Impervious responses Interrupting Irrelevant responses Tangential responses Impersonal responses Ambiguous responses Incongruous responses Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Levels of message confirmation (continued) Disagreeing messages Aggressiveness Complaining Argumentativeness Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Levels of message confirmation (continued) Confirming messages Recognition Acknowledgement Endorsement Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Communication Climate and Confirming Messages How communication climates develop Self-perpetuating spiral Escalatory conflict spiral De-escalatory conflict spiral Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies Face-threatening acts Preventing defensiveness in others Evaluation versus description Control versus problem orientation Strategy versus spontaneity Neutrality versus empathy Superiority versus equality Certainty versus provisionalism Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Saving Face The assertive message format Behavior Interpretation Feeling Consequence Intention Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Saving Face Using the assertive message format Elements may be delivered in mixed order Word the message to suit your personal style Combine two elements in a single phrase if appropriate Take your time delivering the message Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Saving Face Responding nondefensively to criticism Seek more information Ask for specifics Guess about specifics Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas Ask what the critic wants Ask about the consequences of your behavior Ask what else is wrong Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Saving Face Responding nondefensively to criticism (continued) Agree with the critic Agree with the facts Agree with the critic’s perception Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition © 2016. All rights reserved. Chapter Twelve Managing Interpersonal Conflicts Cengage Learning. Look.

1. Chapter Eleven
Improving
Communication Climates
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Looking Out, Looking In
1
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages
Communication climate: the emotional tone of a relationship
Levels of message confirmation
Confirming communication
Disconfirming communication
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages
Levels of message confirmation (continued)
Disconfirming messages
Impervious responses
Interrupting
Irrelevant responses
Tangential responses
Impersonal responses
Ambiguous responses
Incongruous responses

2. Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages
Levels of message confirmation (continued)
Disagreeing messages
Aggressiveness
Complaining
Argumentativeness
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages
Levels of message confirmation (continued)
Confirming messages
Recognition
Acknowledgement
Endorsement
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages
How communication climates develop
Self-perpetuating spiral
Escalatory conflict spiral
De-escalatory conflict spiral
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.

3. Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies
Face-threatening acts
Preventing defensiveness in others
Evaluation versus description
Control versus problem orientation
Strategy versus spontaneity
Neutrality versus empathy
Superiority versus equality
Certainty versus provisionalism
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Saving Face
The assertive message format
Behavior
Interpretation
Feeling
Consequence
Intention
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Saving Face
Using the assertive message format
Elements may be delivered in mixed order
Word the message to suit your personal style
Combine two elements in a single phrase if appropriate
Take your time delivering the message
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Saving Face

4. Responding nondefensively to criticism
Seek more information
Ask for specifics
Guess about specifics
Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas
Ask what the critic wants
Ask about the consequences of your behavior
Ask what else is wrong
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Saving Face
Responding nondefensively to criticism (continued)
Agree with the critic
Agree with the facts
Agree with the critic’s perception
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Chapter Twelve
Managing
Interpersonal Conflicts
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Looking Out, Looking In
1

5. The Nature of Conflict
Conflict defined:
Expressed struggle
Perceived incompatible goals
Perceived scarce resources
Interdependence
Interference from the other party
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict is natural
Conflict can be beneficial
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Conflict Styles
Conflict styles
Avoiding (lose-lose)
Accommodating (lose-win)
Competing (win-lose)
Direct aggression
Passive aggression
Compromising (partial lose-lose)
Collaborating (win-win)
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.

6. Conflict Styles
Which style to use?
Consider these factors:
The relationship
The situation
The other person
Your goals
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Conflict in Relational Systems
Relational conflict style: a pattern of managing disagreements
Complementary conflict style
Symmetrical conflict style
Parallel conflict style
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Conflict in Relational Systems
Destructive conflict patterns
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
Conflict rituals
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Variables in Conflict Styles
Variables in conflict styles

7. Gender
Culture
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Constructive Conflict Skills
Collaborative problem solving
Identify your problem and unmet needs
Make a date
Describe your problem and needs
Consider your partner’s point of view
Negotiate a solution
Follow up the solution
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Constructive Conflict Skills
Constructive conflict
Is the win-win approach too good to be true?
Is the win-win approach too elaborate?
Is win-win negotiating too rational?
Is it possible to change others?
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.