1. “An eye for an eye will
only make the whole
world blind”
A Seminar in Constructive Conflict Management
By Dani Artaza

2. Session 1
Identifying the 4 Components of a Problem

3. 4 Components of a Problem
 Scarce Resources
 Defensive-causing Behaviors
 Clashing Wants
 Clashing Needs

4. Scare Resources
 Time
 Objects
 People
 Positive feelings

5. Defensive-causing Behaviors
 Verbal attacks
centered on
personality traits
 Name-calling
 Raised voices

6. Defensive-causing Behaviors
 Physical expression
of frustration
 Physical contact
 Withdrawal
behavior

7. Clashing Wants

8. Clashing Needs
 What do you need
this person for?
 What do you need
from this person?

9. The Incredibles Problem

10. Conflict Scenario #1
VS

11. Session 2
“I” Statements

12. Steps of an “I” statement
 Start message with “I feel…”
 State the emotions that you felt

13. Steps of an “I” statement
 Explain why you felt that way
 Describe the statement or behavior
 Be as specific as possible

14. Conflict Scenario #2:
VS

15. Conflict Scenario #3:
VS

16. Session 3
Active Listening

17. Steps to Active Listening
 Block out noise
 Maintain focus
 Repeat what
they are saying
in your mind

18. Steps to Active Listening
 Pay attention
nonverbal cues
 Body language
 Gestures
 Proximity
 Facial expressions
 Tone of voice

19. Steps to Active Listening
 Give encouraging
head nods
 Maintain eye
contact
 Paraphrase back to
them

20. Session 4
Perspective Taking

21. What do you see?

22. Steps to Perspective-Taking
Mentally visualize
your conflict
partner’s thoughts
as your own

23. Steps to Perspective-Taking
Mentally visualize
your conflict
partner’s feelings
as your own

24. Steps to Perspective-Taking
Mentally visualize
your conflict
partner’s actions
as your own

25. Conflict Scenario #4
VS

26. Conflict Scenario #5
VS

27. Session 5
Identifying Common Goals

28. Identify Goals
 What will make you
happy?
 What you want to
continue happening?
 What you want to stop
happening?
 What you want more of?
 What you want less of?

29. Similarity of goals

30. Complementarity of goals

31. Conflict Scenario #1
VS

32. Session 6
Brainstorming Solutions

33. Steps to Brainstorming

34. Steps to Brainstorming
 Say whatever idea
comes into your mind
 Avoid filtering out or
dismissing any ideas
 Say at least one
unique, wild, far-out
idea

35. Steps to Brainstorming
Piggyback off of
the ideas of your
partner
Adjust
Adapt
Extend
Combine

36. Steps to Brainstorming
Give positive
responses when
your partner
contributes their
ideas

37. Steps to Brainstorming

38. Conflict Scenario #1
VS

39. Session 7
Comparing and Contrasting Solutions

40. Comparing and Contrasting a
Solution
Win-Lose Situation
 Analyze the costs for
each partner
 Analyze the rewards for
each partner
 Determine if the costs for
any partner are not
proportionate to the costs
for the other partner

41. Comparing and Contrasting a
Solution
Win-Win Situation
 Do the rewards
outweigh the costs of
any solutions for both
partners?
 Are the costs and
rewards that are evenly
shared by each partner?

42. Comparing and Contrasting a
Solution
 Compare the list of
possible solutions to
your list of common
goals
 Determine which
solutions meet the
most common goals

43. Session 8
Creating an Action Plan

44. Criteria for an Action Plan
 Timeline for actions to start
 Plan to evaluate effectiveness and emotional states
 Direct language such as “I will…” and “My partner shall…”
 Concrete language
Behavioral Actions that the
Solution Requires…
You to do
You not to do
Your partner to do
Your partner not to do

45. Conflict Scenario #1
VS

46. End of Training Day
Thank you for your time!