Chapter SixLanguage Barrier and BridgeCengage Learning. Loo.docx

Chapter Six
Language: Barrier and Bridge
Cengage Learning. Looking Out, Looking In, 15th Edition ©
2016. All rights reserved.
Looking Out, Looking In
1
Language Is Symbolic
Language is symbolic
Words and signs are arbitrary
Symbolic language
Allows for more communication
Can lead to communication breakdowns
Understandings and Misunderstandings
Understanding words: semantic rules
Equivocation
Relative words
Static evaluation
Abstraction
Abstract language
Behavioral language

Understanding structure: syntactic rules
Syntactic rules govern grammar
Co-cultures may use different (not deficient) syntactic rules
Understanding context: pragmatic rules
Pragmatic rules are used to decide how to interpret messages in
context
Shared by a culture
Shared by individuals in relationships
The Impact of Language
The impact of language
Naming and identity
Affiliation
Convergence
Divergence
Power and politeness
Disruptive language
Fact-opinion confusion
Fact-inference confusion
Emotive language

The language of responsibility
“It” statements
“But” statements
“I” and “you” language
“We” language
Gender and Language
Gender affects language:
Content
Reasons for communicating
Conversational style
Gender and Language
Nongender variables:
Social philosophy
Speaker orientation (competitive or cooperative)
Occupation
Gender role

Culture and Language
Verbal communication styles
Direct and indirect
Low-context and high-context cultures
Elaborate and succinct
Formal and informal
Culture and Language
Language and worldview
Linguistic relativity: the worldview of a culture is shaped and
reflected by the language its members speak
Sapir-Whorf hypothesis
Chapter Seven
Nonverbal Communication: Messages Beyond Words
1
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal skills are vital
All behavior has communicative value
Nonverbal communication is primarily relational

Impression management
Reflecting and shaping relationships
Conveying emotions
Nonverbal communication occurs in mediated messages
Emoticons and emoji
Punctuation and lexical surrogates
Time management
Nonverbal communication serves many functions
Repeating
Complementing
Substituting
Accenting
Regulating
Contradicting
Mixed messages
Nonverbal communication offers deception cues
Nonverbal communication is ambiguous

Influences on Nonverbal Communication
Gender
Culture
Personal space
Eye contact
Use of time
Monochronic cultures
Polychronic cultres
There are some universal nonverbal behaviors
Types of Nonverbal Communication
Body movement (kinesics)
Body orientation
Posture
Gestures
Illustrators
Emblems
Adaptors
Manipulators
Face and eyes
Microexpressions
Voice (paralanguage)

Emphasis
Tone
Rate
Pitch
Volume
Pauses
Unintentional pauses
Vocalized pauses
Touch (haptics)
Appearance
Physical attractiveness
Clothing
Physical space (proxemics)
Distance
Intimate distance
Personal distance
Social distance
Public distance
Territoriality

Physical environment
Time (chronemics)
Indicates power and status
Reflects the state of a relationship
Chapter Three
Communication and Identity: Creating and Presenting the Self
1
Communication and the Self
Self-concept: the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of
yourself
Self-esteem: evaluations of your self-worth

Biological and social roots of the self
Biology and the self
Personality
Socialization and self-concept
Reflected appraisal
Social comparison
Reference groups
Characteristics of the self-concept
The self-concept is subjective
Often distorted positively or negatively due to:
Obsolete information
Distorted feedback
Perfectionism
Social expectations
Internet-mediated reflected
appraisal
Characteristics of the self-concept
The self-concept resists change
Cognitive conservatism: the tendency to seek and attend to
information that conforms to an existing self-concept
Embracing a more positive self-image:
Have realistic perceptions

Have realistic expectations
Have the will to change
Have the skill to change
Culture
Individualism/collectivism
Co-cultural identity
Gender
Different messages aimed at males and females
Self-esteem influenced by gender
Self-fulfilling prophecy: a person’s expectations of an event,
and his or her subsequent behavior based on those expectations,
make the event more likely to occur
Self-imposed prophecies
Prophecies imposed by one person on another
Presenting the Self: Communication as Impression Management
Impression management: the communication strategies that
people use to influence how others view them
Perceived self

Presenting self (face)
Characteristics of impression management:
We strive to construct multiple identities
Impression management is collaborative
Impression management can be deliberate or unconscious
Why manage impressions?
To start and manage relationships
To gain compliance of others
To save others’ face
To explore new selves
Face-to-face impression management
Manner
Appearance
Setting
Online impression management
Impression management and honesty
Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Models of self-disclosure
Social penetration model

Breadth
Depth
Models of self-disclosure
Johari window
Open area
Blind area
Hidden area
Unknown area
Benefits of self-disclosure
Catharsis
Reciprocity
Self-clarification
Self-validation
Building and maintaining relationships
Social influence
Risks of self-disclosure
Rejection
Negative impression
Decrease in relational satisfaction
Loss of influence
Hurting the other person

Guidelines for self-disclosure
Is the other person important to you?
Are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate?
Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
Will the effect be constructive?
Is the self-disclosure reciprocated?
Do you have a moral obligation to disclose?
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Alternatives to self-disclosure
Silence
Lying
Benevolent lie
Equivocating
Hinting
Ethics of evasion
Chapter Eight
Listening: More Than
Meets the Ear

1
Listening Defined
Hearing versus listening
Hearing: the process in which sound waves strike the eardrum
and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain
Listening: occurs when the brain reconstructs electrochemical
impulses into a representation of the original sound and then
gives them meaning
Listening Defined
Mindless listening
A valuable listening strategy for many of the messages we
receive
Mindful listening
For important messages
Elements in the Listening Process
The listening process
Hearing
Attending
Understanding
Listening fidelity

Responding
Remembering
The Challenge of Listening
Types of ineffective listening
Pseudolistening
Stage-hogging
Selective listening
Insulated listening
Defensive listening
Ambushing
Insensitive listening
Why we don’t listen better
Message overload
Preoccupation
Rapid thought
Effort
External noise
Why we don’t listen better (continued)
Faulty assumptions

Lack of apparent advantages
Lack of training
Hearing problems
Meeting the Challenge of Listening
How to listen well:
Talk less
Get rid of distractions
Don’t judge prematurely
Look for key ideas
Types of Listening Responses
Listening responses
Prompting
Questioning
Sincere questions
Counterfeit questions
Paraphrasing
Factual information
Personal information
Listening responses (continued)

Supporting
Types of support
Empathizing
Agreement
Offers to help
Praise
Reassurance
Avoid “cold comfort” responses
Supporting (continued)
Guidelines for effective support:
Recognize that you don’t have to approve to support
Monitor the other person’s reaction to your support
Realize that support may not always be welcome
Make sure you’re ready for the consequences
Analyzing
Guidelines for effective analyzing:
Offer tentative interpretations
Be sure the other person will be receptive to analysis
Be sure the motive for your analysis is truly to help

Advising
Guidelines for effective advice:
Is the advice needed and wanted?
Is the advice given in the right sequence?
Is the advice coming from an expert?
Is the advisor a close and trusted person?
Is the advice offered in a sensitive manner?
Judging
Constructive criticism
Factors when choosing a listening response
Gender
The situation
The other person
Your personal style
Chapter Four
Perception: What You See Is What You Get

1
The Perception Process
Selection
Selecting which impressions we will attend to
Stimuli that are intense
Repetitious stimuli
Contrast or change in stimulation
Motives
Ignoring other cues
Organization
Arranging information in some meaningful way
Perceptual schema
Stereotyping
Punctuation
Interpretation
Attaching meaning to sense data

Factors that affect interpretation:
Degree of involvement
Personal experience
Assumptions about human behavior
Attitudes
Interpretation
Factors that affect interpretation (continued):
Expectations
Knowledge
Self-concept
Relational satisfaction
Negotiation
Influencing one another’s perceptions and trying to achieve a
shared perspective
Narratives
Influences on Perception
Access to information
Physiological influences

The senses
Psychological challenges
Age
Health and fatigue
Hunger
Biological cycle
Influences on Perception
Cultural differences
Ethnocentrism
Social roles
Gender roles
Occupational roles
Relational roles
Common Tendencies in Perception
Attribution errors
We judge ourselves more charitably than we judge others
Self-serving bias
We cling to first impressions
Halo effect
Common Tendencies in Perception
Attribution errors (continued)
We assume that others are similar to us
We are influenced by our expectations

We are influenced by the obvious
Perception Checking
Elements of perception checking
A description of the behavior you noticed
At least two possible interpretations of the behavior
A request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior
Perception Checking
Perception-checking considerations
Completeness
Nonverbal congruency
Cultural rules
High context/low context cultures
Face saving
Empathy, Cognitive Complexity,
and Communication
Empathy: the ability to re-create another person’s perspective,
to experience the world from the other’s point of view
As opposed to sympathy

and Communication
Cognitive complexity and communication
The pillow method:
Position 1: I’m right, you’re wrong
Position 2: You’re right, I’m wrong
Position 3: Both right, both wrong
Position 4: The issue isn’t as important as it seems
Position 5: There is truth in all four perspectives
and Communication
The pillow method
Chapter Two
Interpersonal Communication
and Social Media

Mediated Versus
Face-to-Face Communication
• Similarities between mediated and face-to-face
communication
• Same goals
• Similar process
• Similar principles
Mediated Versus
• Differences between mediated and face-to-face
communication
• Leaner messages
• Variable synchronicity
• Permanent (sometimes public) record
Mediated Versus

Mediated Versus
• Consequences of mediated communication
• Disinhibition
• Hyperpersonal communication
Benefits and Drawbacks
of Mediated Communication
• Benefits of mediated
communication
• More relational opportunities
• Sustaining and enriching
relationships
• Social support

Benefits and Drawbacks
of Mediated Communication
• Drawbacks of mediated communication
• Superficial relationships
• Social isolation
• Relational deterioration
• Deception
• Stalking and harassment
• Cyberbullying
Influences on Mediated
Communication
• Gender
• Women
• Personal pronouns
• Hedge phrases
• Emotion words
• Men
• Large words
• Nouns

• Swear words
• Object references
Influences on Mediated
Communication
• Age
• Digital natives versus digital immigrants
• Channel preferences
• Topics of discussion
Competence in Social Media
• Fostering positive relationships
• Respect others’ need for undivided attention
• Keep your tone civil
• Don’t intrude on bystanders

Competence in Social Media
• Protecting yourself
• Think before you post
• Verify what you see online
• Balance mediated and face time
Chapter One
A First Look at
Interpersonal Communication
1
Why We Communicate
Physical needs
Identity needs
Social needs
Practical goals
Instrumental goals

The Process of Communication
Linear communication model: communication as something the
sender “does to” a receiver
Sender
Encoding
Message
Channel
Receiver
Decoding
Noise
Linear communication model
Transactional communication model:
Communicators
Environments
Channels
Internal and external noise

Transactional communication model
Interpersonal communication
Definition: a transactional process involving participants who
occupy different but overlapping environments and create
meaning and relationships through the exchange of messages,
many of which are affected by external, physiological, and
psychological noise
Impersonal communication: the opposite of interpersonal
communication
Features of interpersonal communication:
Uniqueness (relational culture)
Irreplaceability
Interdependence
Disclosure
Intrinsic rewards
Communication Principles
and Misconceptions
Communication principles

Communication can be intentional or unintentional
It’s impossible not to communicate
Communication is unrepeatable
and Misconceptions
Communication principles (continued)
Communication is irreversible
Communication has a content and relational dimension
Content
Information explicitly discussed
Relational
Expresses how you feel
and Misconceptions
Communication misconceptions
More communication is not always better
Meanings are not in the words
Successful communication doesn’t always involve shared
understanding
Communication will not solve all problems
What Makes an Effective Communicator?

Communication competence: communicating both effectively
and appropriately
There is no ideal way to communicate
A variety of communication styles can be effective
You can always learn new styles of communication
Competence is situational
Competence can be learned
Competent communicator characteristics
A wide range of behaviors
Ability to choose the most appropriate behavior
Skill at performing behaviors
Cognitive complexity
Empathy
Self-monitoring
Commitment
Competence in intercultural communication
Co-cultures
Know rules of specific culture
Culture-general
Motivation
Tolerance for ambiguity

Competence in intercultural communication (continued)
Open-mindedness
Knowledge and skill
Mindfulness
Passive observation
Active strategies
Self-disclosure
Chapter Five
Emotions: Feeling, Thinking, and Communicating
1
Emotions: Feeling, Thinking, and Communicating
Emotional intelligence: the ability to understand and manage
one’s own emotions and be sensitive to others’ feelings
What Are Emotions?

Physiological factors
Nonverbal reactions
Cognitive interpretations
Reappraisal
Verbal expression
Influences on Emotional Expression
Influences on emotional expression:
Personality
Culture
Gender
Social conventions
Emotion labor
Social media
Emotional contagion
Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
Guidelines for expressing emotions:
Recognize your feelings
Recognize the difference between feeling, talking, and acting
Expand your emotional vocabulary
Express feelings by:
Using single words
Describing what’s happening to you
Describing what you’d like to do

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
Guidelines for expressing emotions (continued):
Share multiple feelings
Consider when and where to express your feelings
Accept responsibility for your feelings
Be mindful of the communication channel
Managing Emotions
Facilitative emotions versus debilitative emotions
Difference in intensity
Difference in duration
Rumination
Managing Emotions
Sources of debilitative emotions
Physiology
Emotional memory
Self-talk
Managing Emotions
Irrational thinking and debilitative emotions

The fallacy of perfection
The fallacy of approval
The fallacy of shoulds
The fallacy of overgeneralization
Managing Emotions
Irrational thinking and debilitative emotions (continued)
The fallacy of causation
The fallacy of helplessness
The fallacy of catastrophic expectations
Managing Emotions
Minimizing debilitative emotions
Monitor your emotional reactions
Note the activating event
Record your self-talk
Reappraise your irrational beliefs
Managing Emotions
Maximizing facilitative emotions
Ruminate on the good in life
Enjoy and savor positive emotional experiences
Reappraise challenging situations

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