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BehavioralProblems
in
CHILDREN
ContentsIntroduction.....................................................1
Behavioral Problems in Toddlers..................3
Hitting and Biting...........................................4
Interrupting ...................................................5
Running Away.................................................5
Pulling Hair.....................................................6
Throwing the Objects.....................................6
Common Behavioral Issues that
Children Exhibit and How To Take
Care of Them...................................................8
Ignoring You...................................................9
Showing Rudeness.........................................10
Seeking Attention ........................................10
Lying ............................................................11
Teasing...........................................................12
Reasons Why Your Child May Have
Behavioral Problems.....................................15
Genetics.........................................................16
Disabilities.....................................................17
Financial Strains............................................18
Communication Problems.............................18
Internal Stimuli..............................................18
Contents
A Desperate Call............................................19
Best Solutions for Handling
Toddler Behavior...........................................21
Talk to Them.................................................22
Interrupt........................................................23
Maintain an Eye Contact .............................25
Set up Some Rules........................................26
Be Receptive.................................................27
How to Deal with Conduct Disorder
in Children ..................................................27
Unjustified Aggression.................................28
Destructive Behavior....................................28
Tips to Give Your Child a Happy
Lifestyle .........................................................38
Control Your Nerves.....................................28
Focus on Long-Term Productivity...............23
Find the Positivity........................................29
Use Rules and Rewards/Punishments
Strategy........................................................30
Two Ears and One Tongue – Appreciate
the Ratio! ....................................................32
Conclusion ...................................................34
Introduction
Introduction
The behavioral disorder has turned out to be a great issue in the
present era. It initiates from the time your kid starts to crawl
and roars up to the stage of adulthood. Although it gets
decreased when one hits the adult stages, but the behavior gets
developed until then and it becomes difficult to override and
habit at that time. It demands prompt action from the side of
parents, whenever they observe any anomaly in their kid's
behavior.
This book caters to the problem of child behavior and its
impact on our society. With a concrete overview of the
definition of behavioral disorders, it provides an array of
guidelines forthe parents (or any elder!) to conceive and act on
the behavioral changes of their kids.
Apart from just focusing on the symptoms, various chapters
also enlighten the importance of digging the roots of every
symptom if you really want to
overcome it forever.
Behavioral Problems
in Toddlers
Behavioral Problems in Toddlers
Among all the life stages, childhood is the most honest one.
Whatever the kid utters or tries to say is either the truth or the
symptom of an underlying truth. Parents might get reluctant to
some of the overwhelming and unusual activities/habits of
their kids and that is natural as well, but it should not go
unnoticed.
Hitting and Biting
Getting angry is not a big deal but if the toddlers are drifting
towards aggression, then the condition must alarm you. It
means that either he has developed or he is developing a
behavioral problem that is urging him to go rough with the
people who interact with him.
Although they seem small, but
even the toddlers want to enjoy
independence. You might have
noticed that once they start
growing, they don't like to be
carried, instead, they want to
control their maneuverability.
Any form of aggression is not
typically a problem itself but a
representative of an underlying
problem. That must be identified and dealt strictly by the
parents before it turns out into anything harmful. While dealing
with the toddlers, you should use several ways to calm them
down, but be very clear about your unacceptance of
aggression.
Interrupting
Now interruption is very irritating for the one who has been
interrupted. Toddlers are very amateur to think on this
frequency and they assume that everything in this World, exists
for them and is bound to cater to their needs. This assumption
is not even wrong because that is what the parents inculcate
since the very day of their kid's birth.
Toddlers also assume that whatever diverts someone's attention
from them is a potential threat to their independence and
luxury. That is the very reason why they never hesitate to walk
you back into their domain, regardless of whom you are talking
to and what you are saying or doing. They want you back and
that is it.
Running Away
This is exactly what puts mommy on the charge. As soon as the
kid jumps out of the stroller or the lap, he tends to embrace the
Earth. Why is that so? Is he defying you? Does he want to get
away from you? Is he showing any aggression?
NO! This is utterly an outcome of an overwhelming feeling of
independence. With each day of toddlers' life, they learn a
variety of new things and gradually, their bodies help them to
exhibit that as well. It means that whenever a toddler lands
onto the ground, he is most likely to run away with joy. That is
because he is so confident with his legs that he wants to charge
them with his lurking feeling of luxury. I know it becomes irri-
tating when you want to feed them, but even you have done the
same!
Pulling Hair
Toddlers are very authoritative. Not only that, but they want to
make you realize as well. There is no harm in that, but when
they do not find you cooperating, then the stuff might not go
well for you.
Whenever they feel, that their authority is declining or the
environment is being ruled by someone else, particularly
another toddler, then they might start pulling your hair, start
biting your skins, start shouting and a lot more.
Apart from this, it might be as simple as a symptom of an
aggression where the child does not want to be governed or
feels possessive about something and just wants to mark his
presence.
Just take an example. For example, you have put some pieces
of cake in front of your children but the elder one takes away
the last one. You would notice one thing. While he is taking out
the last piece, the younger toddler would certainly pull his hair,
or at least nudge him to put it back. What would be the
outcome? Well, the outcome is not very unusual. Even if the
elder one gets away with the cake, he would think twice before
doing the same again.
Throwing the Objects
As mentioned before, this is the stage where your toddler’s
physical skills are developing and he knows it very well. Now
he wants to enjoy every inch of that luxury.
In throwing objects specifically, the child does not have any
aim of harming someone or to show any authoritative
aggression. It requires five major locomotive skills to simply
throw and object and an overwhelmingly deal of eye, hand and
brain coordination is required. The toddlers just want to put it
all on trial and let others appreciate them as well.
So just test it at your home, when a kid throws something and
you clap for then, they would go for another try!
These are some of the things that might turn out to be a
problem as well, for some parents. But generally, if you just let
it happen while ensuring that the violence and aggression are
constantly checked, you are doing a great job.
Common Behavioral
Issues that Children
Exhibit and How
To Take Care of
Them
Common Behavioral Issues that
Children Exhibit and How To Take
Care of Them
Kids share a lot of common behavioral issues, let’s have a look
at some of them.
Ignoring You
Children are most likely to disobey you or just pretend that
they are not listening to you. It is their favorite habit after all,
and probably the only weapon that they have if they want to
show resistance towards something. It might come in several
stages with a variety of symptoms.
For instance, if their room is messy and you ask them to clean
it up, they would never say ‘NO’ straightaway, instead, they
would rather affirm you and ignore you for a while. If they do
say ‘NO’ straightaway, then it points towards another issue that
we shall discuss later on.
You might also experience this behavior when they are doing
something that they like. Let’s assume that your kid is
watching cartoons and you ask him to come over. What do you
expect now? Usually, he would just say ‘Coming’ and then
forget later on. It is just a way to ignore you and carry on with
the regular activity that he likes.
This is not something that you should just allow to slip under
your nose. Come on, your kid is ignoring you and you are
unable to bring it to a halt? Just be firm in front of them. If you
ask them to do something which they do not, just say it a few
more times, and if they do not, then simply go ahead and talk
to them. Be sure not to beat them up. It would just create a gap
between you.
Showing Rudeness
Some of the kids tend to indulge into fights, but most of them
do not. Instead of fighting, they go for a mediocre way but that
too is least acceptable to most of the parents.
Rudeness has an array of perspectives and could be a result of
many background activities. But typically, the children tend to
show rolling eyes or high pitch screams when they want to
show rudeness. Of course, they cannot dare to beat the parents
and if they do so, it is not rudeness. It is simply violence which
needs to be dealt with strictly.
Firstly, you need to understand the reason for their rudeness.
Once you are done with that, the strategy could be altered
accordingly to design something that drives your kid away
from being rude.
Although you should not show any aggression, but if polite-
ness does not work, then the rudeness should be dealt with
rudeness.
Seeking Attention
Everybody loves attention and kids are way more particular
about it than anyone else. They are very sensitive to changing
behaviors and can be very jealous at times.
This is absolutely natural, but what comes as a symptom is not
quite entertain-able. As the foremost reaction, kids tend to talk
rudely to you or disobey you at various instances. But if they
still do not feel ‘special’, then the situation might get worse
and as seen in most of the cases, they could even start hurting
themselves.
This is absolutely natural, but
what comes as a symptom is not
quite entertain-able. As the
foremost reaction, kids tend to
talk rudely to you or disobey
you at various instances. But if
they still do not feel ‘special’,
then the situation might get
worse and as seen in most of
the cases, they could even start hurting themselves.
As a parent, you should manage your time in such a way that
not only you fall in a position to balance the equation, but the
child also sees you working hard and balancing your time for
everyone in life. This is not something that should be dealt
with strictly. Instead, you should just talk to them and spend
more time with them to assure, that their position in your life is
not compromised.
Lying
Here comes the children’s hotspot. They are not programmed
to lie, and you might have experienced as well, that none of the
kids lie during elementary years. But as soon as they start
nourishing, they tend to lie.
This is because their fantasy World is propagating at such an
incredible rate that they consider every thought to be rational
and want to pursue it. But when they do not get the required
response, they pursue their dreams under the carpet and lie to
the elders.
It is utterly your responsibility to combat this genie. Firstly,
you must ensure that you do not exaggerate and you are always
honest with everyone. It automatically set a role model for the
children. But if that does not work, you should talk to your
kids indirectly about the advantages of honesty and the sheer
disadvantages of lying. If you are cursed and that does not
work even, then you should talk to them confidently about the
particulars. Ask them the concrete reasons for lying and do not
let them lie this time. You should rather set up small traps to
capture your kids while lying and then you could prove it to
them that every time they lie you are updated about it.
Teasing
We all have teased someone at least once. What was so
exciting about that? Well, certainly the fact that the counterpart
is feeling cornered and you are in a winning position.
Same is the case with growing children. They tend to tease the
kids of their ages, or even younger. Particularly when the kids
start advancing in school life, they are most likely to explore a
variety of stuff. It accumulates a variety of obsession in their
minds that they know a lot more than the juniors. As a result,
they find it fun to tease the younger ones with their authority.
In order to battle it up, you should allow your kid to
communicate and interact with other children. Only then, he
would be able to gauge that it is only him who knows a variety
of things and has an upper hand over the younger one, but
there is someone else as well who could bring him down
anytime.
Whatever the problem be, ultimately it is your responsibility to
confront it and identify the root. If you keep on rubbing the
surface, you would never help the children.
Reasons Why Your
Child May Have
Behavioral Problems
Reasons Why Your Child May
Have Behavioral Problems
Behavioral issues are one of the most obvious things that the
parents face while dealing with the kids. Typically, these are
the representatives or symptoms of an underlying personality
issue and it is absolutely natural. Although behavioral issues
are common to all types of people belonging to all departments
of life, but the ones related to children must be concerning for
their parents.
Being a child is the most natural phase of one’s life. At this
natural and crucial phase, whatever the children say explicitly,
or through a behavioral problem, points towards an underlying
issue within their enclosure.
Genetics
Since all behaviors are directly related to different tempera-
ments, genetics play a key role in behavioral nourishment.
Temperaments are classified into three broader categories,
easy, sensitive and feisty.
Children with easy temperament are considered to be the calm-
est when it comes to behavior exhibition, and they have proved
it as well. However, the ones with sensitive temperament are
not very aggressive but are way more possessive about certain
belongings than anyone else. Instead of fighting and going
aggressive, they are more inclined towards crying and isolating
themselves whenever an unlikely event is triggered.
Behavioral issues are one of the most obvious things that the
parents face while dealing with the kids. Typically, these are
the representatives or symptoms of an underlying personality
issue and it is absolutely natural. Although behavioral issues
are common to all types of people belonging to all departments
of life, but the ones related to children must be concerning for
their parents.
Being a child is the most natural phase of one’s life. At this
natural and crucial phase, whatever the children say explicitly,
or through a behavioral problem, points towards an underlying
issue within their enclosure.
Genetics
Since all behaviors are directly related to different tempera-
ments, genetics play a key role in behavioral nourishment.
Temperaments are classified into three broader categories,
easy, sensitive and feisty.
Children with easy temperament are considered to be the calm-
est when it comes to behavior exhibition, and they have proved
it as well. However, the ones with sensitive temperament are
not very aggressive but are way more possessive about certain
belongings than anyone else. Instead of fighting and going
aggressive, they are more inclined towards crying and isolating
themselves whenever an unlikely event is triggered.
Among all these temperaments, feisty kids are most likely to
be aggressive. Not only are they aggressive, but have proved
their limbs at various instances, hence harming a number of
children under their nest.
Disabilities
This is pretty rational to understand. When someone,
especially a young child, is unable to enjoy an optimum state
of existence, he gets jealous and angry about that.
Of course, it is like a punishment for a child when he sees
children of his age, playing in front of him but he cannot do
anything about that. This leads to a chaos within their
personalities and they feel deprived.
This deprivation sparks jealousy and in some of the cases, the
over-excited children who want to exhibit their skills go
aggressive as well.
Financial Strains
Parents usually think that they could possibly hide the financial
strains to help their children stay on the track. Although it is a
fantastic approach, but never forget that children do smell any
strain. Particularly when it comes to the financial strain, they
get overwhelmed by the feeling of this very condition and react
to it in their respective ways.
In most of the cases, they either get way more reserved than
their counterparts or in some of the cases they react befittingly
and may become a source of street fighting.
Communication Problems
Not being able to deliver your talk, is an overwhelming
depression for people of all ages. Particularly when it comes to
the toddlers, who cannot even speak properly, it becomes
irritating. Since communication cannot be halted under any
circumstances, how do you expect your kid to behave when he
cannot communicate properly but wants to convey desperately?
Well, he could start yelling and get arrogant in order to
convince you to agree with his point and if you still cannot
resemble the frequency, he might develop the issue of frequent
crying.
This particular issue is also categorized into autism and
frustration.
Internal Stimuli
There is a sea of potential inside every child. When there is any
obstacle in its flow, it often comes out as a behavioral issue,
unjustified aggression mostly.
Moreover, some children have a very sensitive neuron
distribution which exposes them to significantly high level of
emotional attachment to a variety of triggers. Thus, enabling
them to respond to certain triggers in the most obscure manner.
A Desperate Call
Whenever we are not feeling upright and want others to notice
our stance on something, we use actions. Some of us do use
words as well but the dependence on actions at such moments
is relatively high. The cases are not so different when it comes
to children.
When a child is upset or wants to raise a cry against something,
he is most likely to exhibit that through his behavior. Suppose
that your kid feels insecure from an elder sibling. How do you
expect him to react? In usual cases, he would certainly start
beating him or start crying when he comes in front of you. That
is the trigger where you must realize his problem.
There are a variety of triggers for an obscure and even explicit
behavior by the children. Some of the behaviors have apparent
triggers while some are just the representation of an underlying
reason. However, the most obvious reason is the environmental
factor, where a child does not find himself as the best fit for a
particular environment, or rather he cannot settle in an
environment. This leads to an over growing frustration, highly
responsible for depriving him off a sensible behavior.
Best Solutions for
Handling Toddler
Behavior
Best Solutions for Handling
Toddler Behavior
Toddlers are innocent, yet they are very sharp when it comes to
exhibiting their emotions. Since it follows a particular pattern
and is systematic, therefore the parents are also bound to treat
it in the same way to deprive their kids of possessing any poor
habit(s).
Talk to Them
Let us take an example and then proceed. Consider that your
child disturbs a lot while you are on call.
In such cases, parents either tend to ignore them or hand over a
toy so that the child stays busy instead of disturbing them.
What does that do? It merely stops them from paying attention
to you, but the behavioral problem is never sabotaged. In order
to encounter such problems, you should talk to them, or rather
instruct them in a very well-defined tone.
Let’s relate the example once again. When you are about to get
on a call, talk to your child and tell him that you are about to
talk to someone, which is important and they must not
interrupt. The tone matters a lot. So, it should not be buttery.
Interrupt
Remember, you are the parent and the only one responsible for
molding your child’s aura. If he is showing any aggression,
you are not supposed to let the thread slide. Instead, react in
the most appropriate and befitting manner to bring it to halt.
Suppose that your kid fights while playing and is a potential
threat to someone else’s apple of the eye. Would you just watch
it happening? You are rather bound to confront and scold him
at that moment. Once it gets over, then talk to him politely,
while explaining the negative aspects as well. But intervention
from any of the parents is very important under such
circumstances.
Maintain an Eye Contact
Kids notice a lot. Particularly when it comes to reading facial
gestures of the parents. Whenever you want to prohibit your
child from doing something, or even if you want them to do
something positive, do not just throw orders on the wall. Walk
to the child, take them into confidence and then discuss
whatever you want to, while maintaining a concrete and
comprehensive eye contact with them. It proves them that you
certainly possess an upper hand, which is very important.
Set up Some Rules
Provide an atmosphere of ‘nest’. Children learn ethics and
elementary code of conduct from their home. If that is absent,
how and why do you expect them to be responsible and
mannered?
Therefore, you have a sheer responsibility to set up some
miniature rules within the house and make your kids abide by
it. Talk to them about the importance of each predicate, and the
value of rules in general as well.
They should be made aware of the penalties that they shall face
in the case of violating any law. Now, you are not supposed to
start beating your kid as a punishment. The punishments
should be least strenuous, and the aim should only be to make
them realize the importance of following the rules and be a
good human being.
Be Receptive
Here is the core skill that the parents should master. Instead of
focusing on their productive skills, parents should rather focus
on their receptive skills. It gives them an opportunity to listen
and comprehend to what their children are signaling. They do
signal at regular intervals and if the signals are ignored, which
happens most of the times, the kids do feel it.
If it continues to happen for a prolonged time, it stimulates
them to go aggressive or confine themselves within a specified
territory.
Be bold with your children and take them into confidence over
all matters. They do have special needs which need to be
catered by the parents. Never underestimate their power, for
they notice even more than the teenage spies. If they do not get
attached to something, they would start banging everything
around.
There is yet another thing that parents need to confront.
Children often lie. That’s natural when they do not find the
environment suitable to their needs, but it is not encouraged at
all. Once again, it could be confronted by taking them into
confidence. If you leave it on them, they would lie once and
then even if you try to intervene, the habit would persist.
How to Deal with
Conduct
Disorder in Children
How to Deal with Conduct
Disorder in Children
Blame it on media, technology, lazy routine or the over occu-
pied schedule of parents, but the conduct disorder is one of the
leading problems in modern societies. What strikes your mind
when you think of the word ‘conduct’? A behavior? Yes, you
got it right, and what comes into your mind when you think
about ‘disorder’? Certainly, an anomaly in the behavior.
So, let us put it straight now. A conduct disorder is an anomaly
in behavior that sets a person away from social activities and
he develops an array of symptoms which hinder him from
mingling in different communities.
Since it is gauged upon the impact of your behavior on society,
the conduct disorder has a variety of perspectives.
Unjustified Aggression
We often get angry, and that is perfectly natural. In fact, if we
do not get angry on particular events, then that must be an
alarming situation.
But when the aggression has no apparent root or the cause is
lame enough to be explicitly termed as ‘stupid’, it is pretty safe
to browse such conduct in the dictionary of disorders. Whether
you are harming humans or animals, it is an utterly insane act
which cannot be justified, whatever the reason be.
It does not end here. Even if you violate someone’s privacy, it
is considered as a mistake or a crime at first but if it persists,
then there certainly is a behavioral disorder with you.
Another form of aggression is seen when the kid starts going to
the School. Bullying is a norm in our society that we must
overcome before it eats the talent. It is particularly practiced by
the children of grade 6 and 7 where they are hit by puberty.
It should be dealt with at elementary stages. Parents should not
wait for their kids to exhibit such attitude. Instead, they must
cultivate the habits which force their kids to stay away from
any unjustified aggression.
Destructive Behavior
Behavioral conduct is not only related to harming the living
beings. Even if the kids harm someone’s property, it is very
safe to assume or even conclude it as the symptom of a
behavioral disorder.
Think about it. Why
would a normal person
ever want to harm some
one else’s property? This
is highly unethical, and it
must be dealt with politely.
But if the situation
persists, then there is no harm in dealing with the kid strictly.
The foremost practice in this niche comes from the house.
Parents should talk to their children about maintaining their
belongings and everyone else’s belongings as well. While you
stop your kids from doing something, be sure to give
reasonable logics to prove yourself right. Like in this case, they
must be taught about some serious criminal offenses that might
be filed against them.
Apart from these two major categories, there are a variety of
other problems that could be classified as conduct disorder.
For instance, skipping the school is considered very ordinary
nowadays but that is the trigger point which leads the children
towards exploring more loopholes. There is something that
urges them to leave the school and the frequency is also a
noticeable factor. If a child skips his school occasionally, then
it is not absurd, but if it has become a routine, then the parents
must implement some checks to halt it down.
Another great issue that has nourished parallel to modernism,
is the excessive use of drugs. This has soaked down the kids.
Even sixth graders are pretty much intro drugs, and this leads
them towards a dead end. They do not only harm their health
but get so much dependent that their studies are also affected.
Surveys have shown that not only boys but the girls have also
developed a variety of conduct disorders. However, there is a
considerable difference in the patterns of disorders in both of
the genders. Where boys tend to show aggression, the girls
usually go for mood swings, class bunking, school-skipping.
Although some of the symptoms are very ordinary, but the
parents should pay attention to all of them before the monster
starts nourishing.
Tips to Give Your
Child a Happy
Lifestyle
Tips to Give Your Child a
Happy Lifestyle
Apart from all the therapies and an array of rehabilitation pro-
grams across the table, there is always some room for the
parents to take over the nurturing phase of their kids and help
them groom well, by using long-term rational techniques.
Control Your Nerves
It is a mess to handle naughty children. Particularly if they start
misbehaving as well. Most of the parents tend to lose control
and shout over the children. In a number of cases, they even
beat their kids. Do you really think that it would stop them
from doing what they desire?
NO! It would just encourage them to do the same thing while
Apart from all the therapies and an array of rehabilitation pro-
grams across the table, there is always some room for the
parents to take over the nurturing phase of their kids and help
them groom well, by using long-term rational techniques.
Control Your Nerves
It is a mess to handle naughty children. Particularly if they start
misbehaving as well. Most of the parents tend to lose control
and shout over the children. In a number of cases, they even
beat their kids. Do you really think that it would stop them
from doing what they desire?
NO! It would just encourage them to do the same thing while
ensuring that you are away. That is an even bigger disaster for
the parents. Therefore, you should never be arrogant (be least
arrogant) when it comes to the teaching process. Beware that
the children might throw a number of justifications when you
stop them from something. You should not be rude and accept
their thoughts as well.
Focus on Long-Term Productivity
You are literally dooming yourself and the kid if you
specifically train his mind for a particular event. Think on a
broader canvas. You are responsible for making him feel confi-
dent and ultimately become a fairly reasonable human being.
How would you achieve that? Do you really think it is
conceivable by preparing him for a particular phase of life?
See, when you inculcate a habit or lifestyle within your child, it
tends to last throughout his life So, it is always better to give
him something concrete. Even if you have to skip and ignore a
few things, just do that. It does not matter when you are going
big.
Find the Positivity
Napoleon was a great warrior of his time, and once he said:
"Give me enough medals, and I will win you any war".
Provided that he was a man of great caliber and dignity. What
does it imply? It simply means that even one of the strongest
men in history required an appreciation for his productivity and
positivity.
Same is the case with
everyone, particularly the
kids. No doubt, the
parents are allowed to
scold or be strict with
their kids, but it just
serves the time, not the
child. As a bottom line, the parents should appreciate each and
every positivity within their child. Even if is not relevant to the
context, it must be credentialed to give them some boost in
order to enhance their confidence and creativity.
Use Rules and Rewards/Punishments Strategy
Now this is very important. Even at home, you should provide
a very basic yet necessary level of social ethics. This is to
ensure that the kids align themselves on the track before hitting
the market of professionals.
The parents should incorporate a number of basic rules within
their house premises and the children must be taught about
their importance. If any of them abrogates or violates it, he
should be given the punishment and if someone follows it, he
In order to shape up the young minds positively, it is very
important to focus more on the rewards and least on the
punishments. This is important to prevent the development of
any irrational phobia.
Two Ears and One Tongue – Appreciate the Ratio!
Remember that the children would never follow your words.
They would go after your actions. So, while dealing with them,
you must be receptive, instead of being productive. It means
that even though you have to teach them, but they have a
lurking sea inside their innocent minds and loving hearts. That
is why you should allow them to exhibit every inch of their
creativity.
It would not only show them that you care but they would
develop a sense of importance towards listening more to others
as well. As a result, you would produce peace loving and
tolerant human beings.
If you really want to give your
child a happy lifestyle, then
working on small terms would
not bring them any pleasure. It
would merely enhance their
timely skills, but the inculcation of a comprehensive behavior
would be halted, which must be your very first priority under
all circumstances.
Conclusion
Conclusion
It is quite evident that the foremost responsibility of nurturings
kid's habits falls on the shoulders of parents. Throughout the
content, the focus has been to overcome the ‘roots' of any
behavioral disorder instead of just suppressing the symptoms.
Because the symptom is not the reason, but the underlying
truth that triggers the symptom is
a real trigger.
It should be noted that the steps you
take in order to eliminate any awkward
behavior off your child, should be
visionary.

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Behavioral Problems In Children

  • 2. ContentsIntroduction.....................................................1 Behavioral Problems in Toddlers..................3 Hitting and Biting...........................................4 Interrupting ...................................................5 Running Away.................................................5 Pulling Hair.....................................................6 Throwing the Objects.....................................6 Common Behavioral Issues that Children Exhibit and How To Take Care of Them...................................................8 Ignoring You...................................................9 Showing Rudeness.........................................10 Seeking Attention ........................................10 Lying ............................................................11 Teasing...........................................................12 Reasons Why Your Child May Have Behavioral Problems.....................................15 Genetics.........................................................16 Disabilities.....................................................17 Financial Strains............................................18 Communication Problems.............................18 Internal Stimuli..............................................18
  • 3. Contents A Desperate Call............................................19 Best Solutions for Handling Toddler Behavior...........................................21 Talk to Them.................................................22 Interrupt........................................................23 Maintain an Eye Contact .............................25 Set up Some Rules........................................26 Be Receptive.................................................27 How to Deal with Conduct Disorder in Children ..................................................27 Unjustified Aggression.................................28 Destructive Behavior....................................28 Tips to Give Your Child a Happy Lifestyle .........................................................38 Control Your Nerves.....................................28 Focus on Long-Term Productivity...............23 Find the Positivity........................................29 Use Rules and Rewards/Punishments Strategy........................................................30 Two Ears and One Tongue – Appreciate the Ratio! ....................................................32 Conclusion ...................................................34
  • 5. Introduction The behavioral disorder has turned out to be a great issue in the present era. It initiates from the time your kid starts to crawl and roars up to the stage of adulthood. Although it gets decreased when one hits the adult stages, but the behavior gets developed until then and it becomes difficult to override and habit at that time. It demands prompt action from the side of parents, whenever they observe any anomaly in their kid's behavior. This book caters to the problem of child behavior and its impact on our society. With a concrete overview of the definition of behavioral disorders, it provides an array of guidelines forthe parents (or any elder!) to conceive and act on the behavioral changes of their kids. Apart from just focusing on the symptoms, various chapters also enlighten the importance of digging the roots of every symptom if you really want to overcome it forever.
  • 7. Behavioral Problems in Toddlers Among all the life stages, childhood is the most honest one. Whatever the kid utters or tries to say is either the truth or the symptom of an underlying truth. Parents might get reluctant to some of the overwhelming and unusual activities/habits of their kids and that is natural as well, but it should not go unnoticed. Hitting and Biting Getting angry is not a big deal but if the toddlers are drifting towards aggression, then the condition must alarm you. It means that either he has developed or he is developing a behavioral problem that is urging him to go rough with the people who interact with him. Although they seem small, but even the toddlers want to enjoy independence. You might have noticed that once they start growing, they don't like to be carried, instead, they want to control their maneuverability. Any form of aggression is not typically a problem itself but a representative of an underlying problem. That must be identified and dealt strictly by the parents before it turns out into anything harmful. While dealing with the toddlers, you should use several ways to calm them down, but be very clear about your unacceptance of
  • 8. aggression. Interrupting Now interruption is very irritating for the one who has been interrupted. Toddlers are very amateur to think on this frequency and they assume that everything in this World, exists for them and is bound to cater to their needs. This assumption is not even wrong because that is what the parents inculcate since the very day of their kid's birth. Toddlers also assume that whatever diverts someone's attention from them is a potential threat to their independence and luxury. That is the very reason why they never hesitate to walk you back into their domain, regardless of whom you are talking to and what you are saying or doing. They want you back and that is it. Running Away This is exactly what puts mommy on the charge. As soon as the kid jumps out of the stroller or the lap, he tends to embrace the Earth. Why is that so? Is he defying you? Does he want to get away from you? Is he showing any aggression? NO! This is utterly an outcome of an overwhelming feeling of independence. With each day of toddlers' life, they learn a variety of new things and gradually, their bodies help them to exhibit that as well. It means that whenever a toddler lands onto the ground, he is most likely to run away with joy. That is because he is so confident with his legs that he wants to charge them with his lurking feeling of luxury. I know it becomes irri- tating when you want to feed them, but even you have done the same!
  • 9. Pulling Hair Toddlers are very authoritative. Not only that, but they want to make you realize as well. There is no harm in that, but when they do not find you cooperating, then the stuff might not go well for you. Whenever they feel, that their authority is declining or the environment is being ruled by someone else, particularly another toddler, then they might start pulling your hair, start biting your skins, start shouting and a lot more. Apart from this, it might be as simple as a symptom of an aggression where the child does not want to be governed or feels possessive about something and just wants to mark his presence. Just take an example. For example, you have put some pieces of cake in front of your children but the elder one takes away the last one. You would notice one thing. While he is taking out the last piece, the younger toddler would certainly pull his hair, or at least nudge him to put it back. What would be the outcome? Well, the outcome is not very unusual. Even if the elder one gets away with the cake, he would think twice before doing the same again. Throwing the Objects As mentioned before, this is the stage where your toddler’s physical skills are developing and he knows it very well. Now he wants to enjoy every inch of that luxury. In throwing objects specifically, the child does not have any aim of harming someone or to show any authoritative
  • 10. aggression. It requires five major locomotive skills to simply throw and object and an overwhelmingly deal of eye, hand and brain coordination is required. The toddlers just want to put it all on trial and let others appreciate them as well. So just test it at your home, when a kid throws something and you clap for then, they would go for another try! These are some of the things that might turn out to be a problem as well, for some parents. But generally, if you just let it happen while ensuring that the violence and aggression are constantly checked, you are doing a great job.
  • 11. Common Behavioral Issues that Children Exhibit and How To Take Care of Them
  • 12. Common Behavioral Issues that Children Exhibit and How To Take Care of Them Kids share a lot of common behavioral issues, let’s have a look at some of them. Ignoring You Children are most likely to disobey you or just pretend that they are not listening to you. It is their favorite habit after all, and probably the only weapon that they have if they want to show resistance towards something. It might come in several stages with a variety of symptoms. For instance, if their room is messy and you ask them to clean it up, they would never say ‘NO’ straightaway, instead, they would rather affirm you and ignore you for a while. If they do say ‘NO’ straightaway, then it points towards another issue that we shall discuss later on. You might also experience this behavior when they are doing something that they like. Let’s assume that your kid is watching cartoons and you ask him to come over. What do you expect now? Usually, he would just say ‘Coming’ and then forget later on. It is just a way to ignore you and carry on with the regular activity that he likes. This is not something that you should just allow to slip under your nose. Come on, your kid is ignoring you and you are unable to bring it to a halt? Just be firm in front of them. If you ask them to do something which they do not, just say it a few
  • 13. more times, and if they do not, then simply go ahead and talk to them. Be sure not to beat them up. It would just create a gap between you. Showing Rudeness Some of the kids tend to indulge into fights, but most of them do not. Instead of fighting, they go for a mediocre way but that too is least acceptable to most of the parents. Rudeness has an array of perspectives and could be a result of many background activities. But typically, the children tend to show rolling eyes or high pitch screams when they want to show rudeness. Of course, they cannot dare to beat the parents and if they do so, it is not rudeness. It is simply violence which needs to be dealt with strictly. Firstly, you need to understand the reason for their rudeness. Once you are done with that, the strategy could be altered accordingly to design something that drives your kid away from being rude. Although you should not show any aggression, but if polite- ness does not work, then the rudeness should be dealt with rudeness. Seeking Attention Everybody loves attention and kids are way more particular about it than anyone else. They are very sensitive to changing behaviors and can be very jealous at times. This is absolutely natural, but what comes as a symptom is not quite entertain-able. As the foremost reaction, kids tend to talk
  • 14. rudely to you or disobey you at various instances. But if they still do not feel ‘special’, then the situation might get worse and as seen in most of the cases, they could even start hurting themselves. This is absolutely natural, but what comes as a symptom is not quite entertain-able. As the foremost reaction, kids tend to talk rudely to you or disobey you at various instances. But if they still do not feel ‘special’, then the situation might get worse and as seen in most of the cases, they could even start hurting themselves. As a parent, you should manage your time in such a way that not only you fall in a position to balance the equation, but the child also sees you working hard and balancing your time for everyone in life. This is not something that should be dealt with strictly. Instead, you should just talk to them and spend more time with them to assure, that their position in your life is not compromised. Lying Here comes the children’s hotspot. They are not programmed to lie, and you might have experienced as well, that none of the kids lie during elementary years. But as soon as they start nourishing, they tend to lie. This is because their fantasy World is propagating at such an incredible rate that they consider every thought to be rational
  • 15. and want to pursue it. But when they do not get the required response, they pursue their dreams under the carpet and lie to the elders. It is utterly your responsibility to combat this genie. Firstly, you must ensure that you do not exaggerate and you are always honest with everyone. It automatically set a role model for the children. But if that does not work, you should talk to your kids indirectly about the advantages of honesty and the sheer disadvantages of lying. If you are cursed and that does not work even, then you should talk to them confidently about the particulars. Ask them the concrete reasons for lying and do not let them lie this time. You should rather set up small traps to capture your kids while lying and then you could prove it to them that every time they lie you are updated about it. Teasing We all have teased someone at least once. What was so exciting about that? Well, certainly the fact that the counterpart is feeling cornered and you are in a winning position. Same is the case with growing children. They tend to tease the kids of their ages, or even younger. Particularly when the kids start advancing in school life, they are most likely to explore a variety of stuff. It accumulates a variety of obsession in their minds that they know a lot more than the juniors. As a result, they find it fun to tease the younger ones with their authority. In order to battle it up, you should allow your kid to communicate and interact with other children. Only then, he would be able to gauge that it is only him who knows a variety of things and has an upper hand over the younger one, but there is someone else as well who could bring him down
  • 16. anytime. Whatever the problem be, ultimately it is your responsibility to confront it and identify the root. If you keep on rubbing the surface, you would never help the children.
  • 17. Reasons Why Your Child May Have Behavioral Problems
  • 18. Reasons Why Your Child May Have Behavioral Problems Behavioral issues are one of the most obvious things that the parents face while dealing with the kids. Typically, these are the representatives or symptoms of an underlying personality issue and it is absolutely natural. Although behavioral issues are common to all types of people belonging to all departments of life, but the ones related to children must be concerning for their parents. Being a child is the most natural phase of one’s life. At this natural and crucial phase, whatever the children say explicitly, or through a behavioral problem, points towards an underlying issue within their enclosure. Genetics Since all behaviors are directly related to different tempera- ments, genetics play a key role in behavioral nourishment. Temperaments are classified into three broader categories, easy, sensitive and feisty. Children with easy temperament are considered to be the calm- est when it comes to behavior exhibition, and they have proved it as well. However, the ones with sensitive temperament are not very aggressive but are way more possessive about certain belongings than anyone else. Instead of fighting and going aggressive, they are more inclined towards crying and isolating themselves whenever an unlikely event is triggered.
  • 19. Behavioral issues are one of the most obvious things that the parents face while dealing with the kids. Typically, these are the representatives or symptoms of an underlying personality issue and it is absolutely natural. Although behavioral issues are common to all types of people belonging to all departments of life, but the ones related to children must be concerning for their parents. Being a child is the most natural phase of one’s life. At this natural and crucial phase, whatever the children say explicitly, or through a behavioral problem, points towards an underlying issue within their enclosure. Genetics Since all behaviors are directly related to different tempera- ments, genetics play a key role in behavioral nourishment. Temperaments are classified into three broader categories, easy, sensitive and feisty. Children with easy temperament are considered to be the calm- est when it comes to behavior exhibition, and they have proved it as well. However, the ones with sensitive temperament are not very aggressive but are way more possessive about certain belongings than anyone else. Instead of fighting and going aggressive, they are more inclined towards crying and isolating themselves whenever an unlikely event is triggered. Among all these temperaments, feisty kids are most likely to be aggressive. Not only are they aggressive, but have proved their limbs at various instances, hence harming a number of children under their nest.
  • 20. Disabilities This is pretty rational to understand. When someone, especially a young child, is unable to enjoy an optimum state of existence, he gets jealous and angry about that. Of course, it is like a punishment for a child when he sees children of his age, playing in front of him but he cannot do anything about that. This leads to a chaos within their personalities and they feel deprived. This deprivation sparks jealousy and in some of the cases, the over-excited children who want to exhibit their skills go aggressive as well. Financial Strains Parents usually think that they could possibly hide the financial strains to help their children stay on the track. Although it is a fantastic approach, but never forget that children do smell any strain. Particularly when it comes to the financial strain, they get overwhelmed by the feeling of this very condition and react to it in their respective ways. In most of the cases, they either get way more reserved than their counterparts or in some of the cases they react befittingly and may become a source of street fighting. Communication Problems Not being able to deliver your talk, is an overwhelming depression for people of all ages. Particularly when it comes to the toddlers, who cannot even speak properly, it becomes irritating. Since communication cannot be halted under any circumstances, how do you expect your kid to behave when he cannot communicate properly but wants to convey desperately?
  • 21. Well, he could start yelling and get arrogant in order to convince you to agree with his point and if you still cannot resemble the frequency, he might develop the issue of frequent crying. This particular issue is also categorized into autism and frustration. Internal Stimuli There is a sea of potential inside every child. When there is any obstacle in its flow, it often comes out as a behavioral issue, unjustified aggression mostly. Moreover, some children have a very sensitive neuron distribution which exposes them to significantly high level of emotional attachment to a variety of triggers. Thus, enabling them to respond to certain triggers in the most obscure manner. A Desperate Call Whenever we are not feeling upright and want others to notice our stance on something, we use actions. Some of us do use words as well but the dependence on actions at such moments is relatively high. The cases are not so different when it comes to children.
  • 22. When a child is upset or wants to raise a cry against something, he is most likely to exhibit that through his behavior. Suppose that your kid feels insecure from an elder sibling. How do you expect him to react? In usual cases, he would certainly start beating him or start crying when he comes in front of you. That is the trigger where you must realize his problem. There are a variety of triggers for an obscure and even explicit behavior by the children. Some of the behaviors have apparent triggers while some are just the representation of an underlying reason. However, the most obvious reason is the environmental factor, where a child does not find himself as the best fit for a particular environment, or rather he cannot settle in an environment. This leads to an over growing frustration, highly responsible for depriving him off a sensible behavior.
  • 23. Best Solutions for Handling Toddler Behavior
  • 24. Best Solutions for Handling Toddler Behavior Toddlers are innocent, yet they are very sharp when it comes to exhibiting their emotions. Since it follows a particular pattern and is systematic, therefore the parents are also bound to treat it in the same way to deprive their kids of possessing any poor habit(s). Talk to Them Let us take an example and then proceed. Consider that your child disturbs a lot while you are on call. In such cases, parents either tend to ignore them or hand over a toy so that the child stays busy instead of disturbing them. What does that do? It merely stops them from paying attention to you, but the behavioral problem is never sabotaged. In order to encounter such problems, you should talk to them, or rather instruct them in a very well-defined tone.
  • 25. Let’s relate the example once again. When you are about to get on a call, talk to your child and tell him that you are about to talk to someone, which is important and they must not interrupt. The tone matters a lot. So, it should not be buttery. Interrupt Remember, you are the parent and the only one responsible for molding your child’s aura. If he is showing any aggression, you are not supposed to let the thread slide. Instead, react in the most appropriate and befitting manner to bring it to halt. Suppose that your kid fights while playing and is a potential threat to someone else’s apple of the eye. Would you just watch it happening? You are rather bound to confront and scold him at that moment. Once it gets over, then talk to him politely, while explaining the negative aspects as well. But intervention from any of the parents is very important under such circumstances. Maintain an Eye Contact Kids notice a lot. Particularly when it comes to reading facial gestures of the parents. Whenever you want to prohibit your child from doing something, or even if you want them to do something positive, do not just throw orders on the wall. Walk to the child, take them into confidence and then discuss whatever you want to, while maintaining a concrete and comprehensive eye contact with them. It proves them that you certainly possess an upper hand, which is very important. Set up Some Rules Provide an atmosphere of ‘nest’. Children learn ethics and elementary code of conduct from their home. If that is absent, how and why do you expect them to be responsible and mannered?
  • 26. Therefore, you have a sheer responsibility to set up some miniature rules within the house and make your kids abide by it. Talk to them about the importance of each predicate, and the value of rules in general as well. They should be made aware of the penalties that they shall face in the case of violating any law. Now, you are not supposed to start beating your kid as a punishment. The punishments should be least strenuous, and the aim should only be to make them realize the importance of following the rules and be a good human being. Be Receptive Here is the core skill that the parents should master. Instead of focusing on their productive skills, parents should rather focus on their receptive skills. It gives them an opportunity to listen and comprehend to what their children are signaling. They do signal at regular intervals and if the signals are ignored, which happens most of the times, the kids do feel it. If it continues to happen for a prolonged time, it stimulates them to go aggressive or confine themselves within a specified territory.
  • 27. Be bold with your children and take them into confidence over all matters. They do have special needs which need to be catered by the parents. Never underestimate their power, for they notice even more than the teenage spies. If they do not get attached to something, they would start banging everything around. There is yet another thing that parents need to confront. Children often lie. That’s natural when they do not find the environment suitable to their needs, but it is not encouraged at all. Once again, it could be confronted by taking them into confidence. If you leave it on them, they would lie once and then even if you try to intervene, the habit would persist.
  • 28. How to Deal with Conduct Disorder in Children
  • 29. How to Deal with Conduct Disorder in Children Blame it on media, technology, lazy routine or the over occu- pied schedule of parents, but the conduct disorder is one of the leading problems in modern societies. What strikes your mind when you think of the word ‘conduct’? A behavior? Yes, you got it right, and what comes into your mind when you think about ‘disorder’? Certainly, an anomaly in the behavior. So, let us put it straight now. A conduct disorder is an anomaly in behavior that sets a person away from social activities and he develops an array of symptoms which hinder him from mingling in different communities. Since it is gauged upon the impact of your behavior on society, the conduct disorder has a variety of perspectives. Unjustified Aggression We often get angry, and that is perfectly natural. In fact, if we do not get angry on particular events, then that must be an alarming situation. But when the aggression has no apparent root or the cause is lame enough to be explicitly termed as ‘stupid’, it is pretty safe to browse such conduct in the dictionary of disorders. Whether you are harming humans or animals, it is an utterly insane act which cannot be justified, whatever the reason be. It does not end here. Even if you violate someone’s privacy, it
  • 30. is considered as a mistake or a crime at first but if it persists, then there certainly is a behavioral disorder with you. Another form of aggression is seen when the kid starts going to the School. Bullying is a norm in our society that we must overcome before it eats the talent. It is particularly practiced by the children of grade 6 and 7 where they are hit by puberty. It should be dealt with at elementary stages. Parents should not wait for their kids to exhibit such attitude. Instead, they must cultivate the habits which force their kids to stay away from any unjustified aggression. Destructive Behavior Behavioral conduct is not only related to harming the living beings. Even if the kids harm someone’s property, it is very safe to assume or even conclude it as the symptom of a behavioral disorder. Think about it. Why would a normal person ever want to harm some one else’s property? This is highly unethical, and it must be dealt with politely. But if the situation persists, then there is no harm in dealing with the kid strictly. The foremost practice in this niche comes from the house. Parents should talk to their children about maintaining their belongings and everyone else’s belongings as well. While you stop your kids from doing something, be sure to give reasonable logics to prove yourself right. Like in this case, they must be taught about some serious criminal offenses that might be filed against them.
  • 31. Apart from these two major categories, there are a variety of other problems that could be classified as conduct disorder. For instance, skipping the school is considered very ordinary nowadays but that is the trigger point which leads the children towards exploring more loopholes. There is something that urges them to leave the school and the frequency is also a noticeable factor. If a child skips his school occasionally, then it is not absurd, but if it has become a routine, then the parents must implement some checks to halt it down. Another great issue that has nourished parallel to modernism, is the excessive use of drugs. This has soaked down the kids. Even sixth graders are pretty much intro drugs, and this leads them towards a dead end. They do not only harm their health but get so much dependent that their studies are also affected. Surveys have shown that not only boys but the girls have also developed a variety of conduct disorders. However, there is a considerable difference in the patterns of disorders in both of the genders. Where boys tend to show aggression, the girls usually go for mood swings, class bunking, school-skipping. Although some of the symptoms are very ordinary, but the parents should pay attention to all of them before the monster starts nourishing.
  • 32. Tips to Give Your Child a Happy Lifestyle
  • 33. Tips to Give Your Child a Happy Lifestyle Apart from all the therapies and an array of rehabilitation pro- grams across the table, there is always some room for the parents to take over the nurturing phase of their kids and help them groom well, by using long-term rational techniques. Control Your Nerves It is a mess to handle naughty children. Particularly if they start misbehaving as well. Most of the parents tend to lose control and shout over the children. In a number of cases, they even beat their kids. Do you really think that it would stop them from doing what they desire? NO! It would just encourage them to do the same thing while
  • 34. Apart from all the therapies and an array of rehabilitation pro- grams across the table, there is always some room for the parents to take over the nurturing phase of their kids and help them groom well, by using long-term rational techniques. Control Your Nerves It is a mess to handle naughty children. Particularly if they start misbehaving as well. Most of the parents tend to lose control and shout over the children. In a number of cases, they even beat their kids. Do you really think that it would stop them from doing what they desire? NO! It would just encourage them to do the same thing while ensuring that you are away. That is an even bigger disaster for the parents. Therefore, you should never be arrogant (be least arrogant) when it comes to the teaching process. Beware that the children might throw a number of justifications when you stop them from something. You should not be rude and accept their thoughts as well. Focus on Long-Term Productivity You are literally dooming yourself and the kid if you specifically train his mind for a particular event. Think on a broader canvas. You are responsible for making him feel confi- dent and ultimately become a fairly reasonable human being. How would you achieve that? Do you really think it is conceivable by preparing him for a particular phase of life? See, when you inculcate a habit or lifestyle within your child, it tends to last throughout his life So, it is always better to give him something concrete. Even if you have to skip and ignore a few things, just do that. It does not matter when you are going
  • 35. big. Find the Positivity Napoleon was a great warrior of his time, and once he said: "Give me enough medals, and I will win you any war". Provided that he was a man of great caliber and dignity. What does it imply? It simply means that even one of the strongest men in history required an appreciation for his productivity and positivity. Same is the case with everyone, particularly the kids. No doubt, the parents are allowed to scold or be strict with their kids, but it just serves the time, not the child. As a bottom line, the parents should appreciate each and every positivity within their child. Even if is not relevant to the context, it must be credentialed to give them some boost in order to enhance their confidence and creativity. Use Rules and Rewards/Punishments Strategy Now this is very important. Even at home, you should provide a very basic yet necessary level of social ethics. This is to ensure that the kids align themselves on the track before hitting the market of professionals. The parents should incorporate a number of basic rules within their house premises and the children must be taught about their importance. If any of them abrogates or violates it, he should be given the punishment and if someone follows it, he
  • 36. In order to shape up the young minds positively, it is very important to focus more on the rewards and least on the punishments. This is important to prevent the development of any irrational phobia. Two Ears and One Tongue – Appreciate the Ratio! Remember that the children would never follow your words. They would go after your actions. So, while dealing with them, you must be receptive, instead of being productive. It means that even though you have to teach them, but they have a lurking sea inside their innocent minds and loving hearts. That is why you should allow them to exhibit every inch of their creativity. It would not only show them that you care but they would develop a sense of importance towards listening more to others as well. As a result, you would produce peace loving and tolerant human beings. If you really want to give your child a happy lifestyle, then working on small terms would not bring them any pleasure. It would merely enhance their timely skills, but the inculcation of a comprehensive behavior would be halted, which must be your very first priority under all circumstances.
  • 38. Conclusion It is quite evident that the foremost responsibility of nurturings kid's habits falls on the shoulders of parents. Throughout the content, the focus has been to overcome the ‘roots' of any behavioral disorder instead of just suppressing the symptoms. Because the symptom is not the reason, but the underlying truth that triggers the symptom is a real trigger. It should be noted that the steps you take in order to eliminate any awkward behavior off your child, should be visionary.