Dealing with Manipulative Children: How To Stop Manipulative Children From Controlling You

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Dealing with manipulative children requires a certain finesse. They know how much power they have and how little you can do to them. Lucky for you, this article will tell you how to stop their manipulation and be in control of the situation.

Health & Medicine Self Improvement

Dealing with Manipulative Children: How To Stop Manipulative Children From Controlling You Michael Lee http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm

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Name___________________________________________ Inappropriate Methods That Deter Cooperation Method Example Blaming and accusing “Look at the dirty footprints you put on my clean kitchen floor. You never consider how hard I work.” Name-calling “You are the sloppiest person, just look at your room!” Threats “If you don’t start doing your share around here, I’m going to cut your allowance.” Commands “Take the garbage out this minute, and no back talk, young man.” Lecturing and moralizing “Now, do you think that was a nice thing to say about your friend? You should learn to treat your friends the way you want to be treated.” Warnings “Don’t step off the sidewalk. You’ll get hit by a car.” Martyrdom “Why are you doing this to me, hard as I work?” Comparisons “Why can’t you try as hard in school as your sister does?” Sarcasm “You knew you had to get up early, but you were so smart and stayed up until midnight.” Prophecy “If you continue in the same manner, you’ll never amount to anything.” Skills for Engaging Cooperation Skill Example Describe what you see or the problem “Your dirty clothes are on the floor in your room.” Give information “The battery in the flashlight will last longer when you turn it off after each use.” Say it with a word. (when milk is left out of the refrigerator) “Susie, the milk.” Talk about your feelings “I am frustrated because you are making so much noise that I can’t hear your father on the telephone.” Wrote a note (taped to basket of clean laundry) “Marlin, please fold me.” Reference: Hamner, T.J. & Turner, P.H. (2001). Parenting in Contemporary Society, 4 th ed. ____Allyn and Bacon. Positive Guidance Children are more likely to respond to positive statements than negative ones. Rewrite each statement below so it tells the child what he or she is expected to do. 1. “Don’t put the scissors on the floor.” 2. “Don’t spill your milk.” 3. “Don’t walk in front of the slide.” 4. “You’re pouring too fast.” 5. “Don’t walk so slowly.” 6. “Don’t touch all of the muffins.” Reference: Herr, J. (2008) Working With Young Children; Study Guide. Tinley Park, ILL: Goodheart-Wilcox, Co. (page 80). 1 15 Techniques to use with children which invite cooperation 1. Give children valid, appropriate and limited choices. Limit use of commands. Offering options gives the child a sense of empowerment. This works especially well with children who are strong willed and in need of a great deal of control. Giving choices eliminates power struggles and “NO” answers. ie: Do you want your milk poured into the green cup or the blue cup? ie: You may walk to get your diaper changed or I can carry you. (either way, the diaper is getting changed). ie: Say “It’s naptime” rather than “Do you want to take a nap?” which offers the ch.

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