1. Issue
ONE
Why toddles cry?
Finding An Agent That’s Right For You
The years between the ages
of one and three are probably
the most emotionally
tumultuous in a child’s life.
This is a time when your
toddler may zig-zag between
tearful neediness and fierce
insistence on doing things his
or her own way. Your child
wants to be independent, but
lacks the physical skills to
manage without help. He or
she wants to have you near all
the time, but is furious if you
try to show the way. This
contrariness is what makes
hard work of the job of
parenting a toddler, but it is
also what makes it such an
absorbing experience. There
are few things more fulfilling
than sharing in your child’s
glee in attainment that bring
him or her ever closer to the
world of bigger children and
adults: walking to the shop,
repeating “WOOF: whenever
a dog appears, wielding a fork
or successfully negotiating the
stairs.
Your toddler will be testing all
kinds of boundaries so this is
the time to start laying down
some basic rules. There are
simple ways to help your child
to behave well when willfulness
spills over into conflict or
tantrums. Some children have
personalities that are more
intense than others, and a very
determined, creative or
sensitive child is more likely to
have tantrums than one who is
naturally laid-back or timid. But
the way you responds to crying
may also play a part in
determining how tantrum-prone
your child becomes. A good
bedtime and sleep routine is on
of the key factors that will help
your child to behave
reasonably. A regular sleep
patterns is the foundation of a
daily schedule: get this right,
and your toddles is more likely
to be happy and equable
during the day.
There are ideas and
techniques to help your child
manage his or her moods and
sleep well at night. Not all the
suggestions will work for every
child – it is up to you to choose
the ones that suit you and your
family.
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It’s important to give
growing children lots of
ways to release physical
energy. It can help to
reduce tantrums too.
“A good bedtime and sleep routine is one
of the key factors that will help your child
to behave reasonably.”
Crying, behavior and sleeping
Toddlers may cry several
times a day, and their upset
may seem out of all proportion
to the cause. But it is
important to remember that
your toddler simply isn’t
equipped to deal with
difficulties yet. Young children
don’t have the experience to
know that what they are
feeling Is rage, still less that it
will soon pass. Crying is the
only way they have of coping
with unpleasant emotions. It is
also still a key mode of
communication, since they
can’t express their needs or
feelings accurately with their
limited vocabulary.
Frustration
There is a huge gap between
the things your toddler wants to
do and what he or she can
manage. Frustration can be
positive because it helps to
spur a child on to new
development achievements.
But it isn’t a comfortable feeling
and it can quickly lead to tears
of rage. Your toddler will also
feel frustrated when prevented
from doing something that is
enjoyable – a small child
doesn’t understand, after all,
why drawing on walls is bad or
why he or she should have to
get out of the bath.
Fear. Anxiety and Lack of
Attention
The world can seem a strange
and overwhelming place to a
young child. Toddlers often
develop a fear of, say, the bath,
dogs, the dark or certain
noises, and will cry when they
encounter them. Separation
anxiety is normal in toddlers,
Guide
A Monthly Insight into Various Topics Related to Children
anxiety is normal in toddlers,
who want to stay close to their
carers and resist being left with
other people. Your toddler may
no longer cry when you leave a
room, but may become
distraught if you go out or leave
him or her at nursery.
It’s important to give growing
children lots of ways to release
physical energy; it can help to
reduce tantrums too. You don’t
have to go outside for this, try
putting on some lively music
and having a dance around the
house. It will probably improve
your mood too.
Most children will cry when they
are told off, because they fear
the withdrawal of love from you.
To an extent, this is a
necessary part of socialization,
but it is important to reassure
children that you still love them
even when they are naughty.
Young children have an
insatiable need for attention. If
you are absorbed in another
task, chatting on the phone or –
worst of all – cuddling a friend’s
baby, your child may start to cry
or behave badly simply
because he or she wants you to
play.
How you can help?
Some crying is inevitable, and
part of your child’s way of
expressing themselves, but you
can minimize mood swings,
and perhaps avoid a tantrum,
as follows.
Rest. Your toddler will cry
much more readily when tired.
Make sure he or she is getting
enough sleep and do all you
can to help your child relax: a
walk in the buggy or some quiet
play on your lap can be almost
as good as a sleep in restoring
a toddler’s spirits.
Fuel. Low blood-sugar levels or
dehydration make children (and
adults) irritable and fretful. So
give regular meals and snacks,
with plenty of water to drink.
Avoid sugary snacks, which
give an initial boost but soon
lead to a dip in energy and
mood.

2. Physical release. Toddlers have
lots of energy that they need to
expend. Go on at least one outing
a day, more if your child is very
active or had regular tantrums.
Toddlers gym classes are great,
but simple outings or indoor
activities such as dancing can
work just as well.
Sympathy. Be swift to reassure
your child if he or she has a bump
or is frustrated when playing with a
toy. Be sympathetic about any
fears – don’t dismiss them as
“silly” or, worse, try to force your
child to confront the thing that is
frightening. Your child will almost
certainly get over any fear more
quickly if you are reassuring.
Independence. Toddlers are
determined to do things for
themselves, but don’t always have
the skills necessary to carry it out.
Lend a hand where possible, but
be tactful 0 your child will resent
being “babied”. Offering a few
simple choices – does he or she
want an apple or a banana, say, or
to wear trousers or shorts, can
help a child feel that he or she has
some small mastery of the daily
routine, and will boost self-
confidence.
Preparation. Don’t demand a
sudden change of activity. If your
child is involved in a game but it’s
time to leave, give five minutes’
warning, and then a one-minute
warning, too, so he or she is
prepared for the change.
Distraction. If your toddler starts
to get upset, try starting a new
game or activity, exclaiming at
something you see out of the
window, singing a song and pulling
Preparation. Don’t demand a
sudden change of activity. If your
child is involved in a game but it’s
time to leave, give five minutes’
warning, and then a one-minute
warning, too, so he or she is
prepared for the change.
Distraction. If your toddler starts
to get upset, try starting a new
game or activity, exclaiming at
something you see out of the
window, singing a song and pulling
faces, or taking the child out for a
change of scene.
Deliberate Crying
Toddlers gradually become aware
of what crying can achieve and its
effect on adults, and realize they
can use it to get something that
they want – think of young children
whining for sweets in the
supermarket. At first, this is not so
much devious as experimental:
your child is naturally going to test
all the methods available to see
what works and one he or she
discovers crying can get results, a
toddler is bound to try it on from
time to time. It is up to you to
differentiate between genuine
upset and deliberate whining, so
you don’t reward bad behavior.
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