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The Courage to
Communicate:
Effective Leadership
Ann W. Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution
Thrive. Grow. Achieve.
April 23, 2015
Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution
Dealing With Conflict
Overview
 Conflict in the Workplace
 Symptoms of Conflict
 Your conflict style
 Influence on employee engagement
 Building trust
 Active listening
Conflict in the Workplace
What causes it?
How do you deal with it?
“The people to fear are not those who
disagree with you, but those who disagree
with you and are too cowardly to let you
know.”
Napoleon Bonaparte
Causes of Conflict
 lack of defined roles,
 lack of understanding of duties,
 lack of time, tools,
 or temperament to complete tasks and
individuals’ agendas in opposition to
organizational goals.
Conflict Left Unmanaged
Leaves a business in a state of constantly
dealing with issues rather than managing
the organization’s goals.
Hoping it will go away allows it to fester into
a larger conflict, involve more co-workers
than the original dispute and hurt the
organizational culture.
Symptoms of Unresolved Conflict
 Stress frustration and anxiety
 Loss of Sleep
 Strained relationships
 Grievances and litigation
 Employee turnover
 Loss of productivity
 Absenteeism
Recommendations for Conflict-Safe
Work Environment
 Never allow conflict to become personal
 Reward, recognize and thank individuals
willing to take a stand and support their
position
 Expect individuals to support with data and
facts
 Provide training in healthy conflict and steps
in mediating a conflict
 Don’t play favorites. Not wrong to like
some more than others. It is wrong to act
on that in an unfair manner.
 Talk to individuals one-on-one. See how
things are going from their viewpoint.
One of the most common things that allows
conflicts to grow and escalate is
assumptions – that other people won't
understand, won't be reasonable, don't
want to resolve things, etc. The first step to
resolution is asking questions with curiosity,
rather than making assumptions.
Conflict
 The goal of organizational leadership
is not to eliminate conflict but to
use it.
Conflict is a predictable social phenomenon
and should be channeled to useful
purposes.
“A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate
conflict; he/she tries to keep it from wasting
the energies of his/her people. If you’re the
boss and your people fight you openly when
they think you are wrong –that’s healthy.”
Robert Townsend
CEO of Avis Rent a Car
 If there is conflict or dissention in your
department, look at your own actions.
 Do you, either verbally or non-verbally send
messages that it is not okay to disagree or
 Do you put individuals “on the spot” when
they express their opinion?
 Observe closely the interactions among
employees and what is going on
 Ask individuals for how you are perceived
handling conflict
Conflict Involves
 Emotions – What you feel is important
 Perceptions – What you see at stake
 Behaviors – How you act with others
 Conflict Assessment for Natural Style
Accommodate
Avoid
Compromise
Collaborate
Compete
1. A Accommodate
B Avoid
2. A Collaborate
B Compete
3. A Compromise
B Avoid
4. A Avoid
B Collaborate
5. A Compromise
B Accommodate
6. A Collaborate
B Compromise
7. A Compete
B Avoid
8. A Collaborate
B Compromise
9. A Accommodate
B Compete
10. A Compromise
B Avoid
11. A Collaborate
B Accommodate
12. A Avoid
B Accommodate
13. A Compete
B Compromise
14. A Compete
B Collaborate
15. A Accommodate
B Compete
Styles
 Accommodate (I Lose, You Win)
 Avoid (I Lose, You Lose)
 Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose)
 Compete (I Win, You Lose)
 Collaborate (I Win, You Win)
Accommodate (I Lose, You Win)
Putting aside your needs and desires and acquiescing to
the other person’s requests/demands.
Appropriate:
• When a high value is placed on your relationship with
the other party.
• When outcome is of low importance to you, but is of
high importance to the other party.
Avoid (I Lose, You Lose)
Side-stepping or withdrawing from the conflict
situation.
When you prevent/postpone conflict, it remains
unresolved and neither party wins.
Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose)
Resolving the conflict quickly and efficiently by
seeking a fair and equitable split between the two
positions.
Each side concedes on some of their issues in
order to win others. Both parties must be flexible
and willing to settle for a satisfactory resolution of
their major issue.
Compete (I Win, You Lose)
Seeking to win your position at the expense of the
other party losing theirs.
Appropriate when only one party can achieve their
desired outcome.
Best used when outcome is extremely important
and relationship is of low importance.
Collaborate (I Win, You Win)
Cooperating with the other party to try to resolve a
common problem to a mutually satisfying outcome.
When you join with the other party to compete
against the situation, instead of each other.
Each side must feel that the outcomes gained
through collaboration are better than they could
achieve on their own.
Style Most Advantageous
Based on:
Importance of relationship
Importance of outcome
What Does This Mean?
 Dependent on importance to you or
organization to “R” or “O” ----
 You may have to choose styles that are
beyond your “comfort area” default style.
Five Conflict-Handling Styles
Collaborate
I Win,
You Win
Accommodate
I Lose,
You Win
Compromise
We Both Win,
We Both Lose
Avoid
I Lose,
You Lose
Compete
I Win,
You Lose
HIGH
MEDIUM
LOW
HIGHMEDIUMLOW
Importance of outcome
Importanceofrelationship
Conflict Gaps
 In most workplaces because skills not there
for collaboration
 Ideal mix of styles in healthy workplaces:
75% Collaborate
No more than 25% for Compete,
Compromise, Accommodate and Avoid
How To Achieve Better Outcomes
 Build Trust….. gradually
 Avoid Assumptions
 Determine Expectations
 Better Listening ---passive, active, questioning
 Motivation --- underlying interests
Building Trust
 Let people know what is expected
of them.
 Decide on the limits of your trust.
 Lead the way.
 Build trust gradually.
Listening Errors
 Failure to hear clearly
 Failure to communicate clearly
 Failure to “hear between the lines”
Listening Strategies
 Passive listening
 Active listening
 Questioning
 Looking for inconsistencies or
underlying interests
Interests & Concerns
 What are their core concerns?
 What is their motivation?
 How can their interests be satisfied?
Creativity
Creativity helps to:
 Think of new and different alternatives
 Think of new strategies to advance your
cause
 Redefine the situation
 Self-awareness - What is your default style?
 What do you have to do to change?
 What is your motivation?
 Are you making assumptions?
 Have you gathered the facts?
 Are you establishing trust?
 Conflict resolution in the workplace and
creating a safe place for debate can be:
 complicated
 time-consuming
 exasperating
 However, when correctly:
 worthwhile
 productive
 expanding
What Are You Going To Do
Differently?
Employee Engagement
 People don’t quit jobs. They quit bosses.
Coaching
 Coaching – rather than “telling”:
- Motivates
- Leads to better teamwork
- Greater engagement – ownership
- Uncovers potential
Engagement
 Communication
 Listening
 Feedback
 Dealing with conflict
 Empathy
“Our success is due, in part, to not just an
ability but a willingness to look at things
differently”
Michael Dell
Leading Yourself
1. Attitude
2. Self-Awareness
3. Specifics of Goal Achievement
“Attitude is a little thing that makes
a big difference”
Winston Churchill
Your attitude is the foundation for your success
in any area. What you do is influenced by
how you think, and your thoughts reflect
your most basic attitude.
One of the things that allow an
individual to become successful
is his or her attitude. Successful
people don’t have any fewer
problems than unsuccessful
people; they just have a different
mindset in dealing with them.
Self-Awareness
 Communication
 Styles of Communication
 DISC
D – Decisive
I - Interactive
S - Stabilizing
C - Cautious
“ The art of communication is the
language of leadership.”
-James Hume, professor, speechwriter
Successful Communicators
 Identify difficult situations
 Are aware and understanding
 Other person’s point of view, filters
 Adapt their style and messaging
“The single biggest problem in
communication is the illusion that
it has taken place”
George Bernard Shaw
The first step to getting what you want is to
communicate your thoughts so you are
understood.
Most problems at work
are a result of poor
communication.
Communication is an Art,
Not a Science
There is no absolute right or wrong way to
communicate effectively. What is most
important is that you communicate in a
manner and style most comfortable and
effective for the situation and results.
Effective communication is a two-way
process in which there is an exchange and
progression and ultimately understanding
of ideas toward a mutually accepted
direction or goal.
Basic Elements:
Speaker
Listener
Message
Medium
Feedback/Reply
Communication Goals
To get and give
information
To persuade
To ensure understanding
To get action
To change behavior
Information Richness & Media Type
Face-to-face
communication
Verbal communication
electronically
transmitted
Personally addressed
Written communication
Impersonal written
communication
High
Richness
Low
Richness
Engagement Model
 Ask questions
 Ask for feedback
 Provide detailed feedback
 80/20
 Listen
Empathy
 Not sympathy
 Does not show weakness
 Have to listen
 Reframe
 Understand/Acknowledgement
Listening Tips
 Paraphrase the message to the speaker in order to
confirm your understanding.
 Repeat the message to help you remember what
was said.
 Probe for missing information.
 Remember the most important points of the
message for future application.
 Act upon the message as necessary.
Types of Feedback
• Formal—documented
annual/semiannual performance review
• Informal—day-to-day communication
and feedback about performance
Levels of Feedback
• None at all
• Negative only
• Positive only
• Balanced
The Default Performance
Feedback System
“If you don’t hear anything, you
are doing just fine but if you screw
up we’ll let you know!”
 Lack of effective feedback is one of the
biggest reasons for lack of engagement
 What causes lack of effective feedback?
Engagement Model
More
 Trust
 Openness
 Ownership
 Versatility
 Influence
 Action
Engagement Model
Less
• Control
• Channels
• Routine
• Position power
• Analysis
• Bureaucracy
Causes of Conflict at Work
Miscommunication
 The employee either did not receive the message or received only
part of a message, or the message was delivered in a way that may
have been misinterpreted.
Different Interpretations
 The employee believes that adherence to rules, policies, or
procedures should be carried out in one way, while the actual intent
or the rule, policy, or procedure is something else entirely.
Different Values
 The employee has less regard than others for a specific task or duty
and does not attach importance to its value.
Opposing Goals
 The goals of the company or supervisor are directly opposed to
those of the employee.
Conflict Strategies
Win/Win—Collaboration
• Both parties achieve their goals
o Example: Working together, an acceptable resolution is
reached that helps everyone concerned regarding a
conflict.
Win/Lose—Competition
• One person is defeated
• Example: Employee’s request or complaint is denied
without reason.
Conflict Strategies (Cont.)
Lose/Lose—Avoidance
 Neither parties achieves its goals.
 Example: Employee quits because of perceived problems
at work.
Lose/Win—Give in
 One person gives in.
 Example: Supervisor not enforcing rules.
Reasons for Poor Performance
• Lack of communication leads to:
• Lack of trust
• Lack of respect
Basic Rules About
Managing Performance
1.Set Expectations
2. Always expect excellent
performance.
3. Never let poor work go unnoticed or
performance issues go unchallenged.
Team Leader’s Responsibilities
• Train team members to work together
• Identify potential obstacles
• Suggest procedures or ideas for solving a problem
• Help get information
• Give input
• Help the team progress
• Monitor progress
• Recognize and reward results
Types of Difficult Team
Members
• The reluctant team member
• The defiant team member
• The dominant team member
• The absentee team member
• The vacationer team member
Characteristics of an
Engaged Team Player
1. Openly shares feelings, opinions, thoughts, and
perceptions about problems and issues relating to the
team.
2. When listening, attempts to hear and interpret
communication from sender’s point of view.
3. Utilizes resources, ideas, and suggestions of other team
members.
4. Trusts and supports other team members, encouraging
their growth and development.
5. Understands and is committed to team objectives.
Characteristics of an Engaged
Team Player (Cont.)
6. Acknowledges and works through conflict openly, by
respecting and being tolerant of individual
differences.
7. Makes decisions based on information only, rather
than being influenced by peer pressure.
8. Provides ideas and suggestions to the team leader
that are helpful to the team.
9. Always strives for a win/win solution.
10. Strives for consensus on team decisions.
Key To Change
Desire
Reinforced by conviction that
goals and priorities are correct
 Fern, please make this slide – Slide no. 21 from the “Famous” slide set in drop box.
Pls. do not include text at bottom. Just picture and quote.
Fern – Please make this slide using Slide #24 from Invest In your Future set of slides.
IT is the picture of the ocean with the first word “Focus”
 What Are You Going To Do Differently?
Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution
arosser@findingresolution.net
703-536-6915

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2015-04-23 The Courage to Communicate - Effective Leadership

  • 1. The Courage to Communicate: Effective Leadership Ann W. Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution Thrive. Grow. Achieve. April 23, 2015
  • 2. Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution Dealing With Conflict
  • 3. Overview  Conflict in the Workplace  Symptoms of Conflict  Your conflict style  Influence on employee engagement  Building trust  Active listening
  • 4. Conflict in the Workplace What causes it? How do you deal with it?
  • 5. “The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.” Napoleon Bonaparte
  • 6. Causes of Conflict  lack of defined roles,  lack of understanding of duties,  lack of time, tools,  or temperament to complete tasks and individuals’ agendas in opposition to organizational goals.
  • 7. Conflict Left Unmanaged Leaves a business in a state of constantly dealing with issues rather than managing the organization’s goals. Hoping it will go away allows it to fester into a larger conflict, involve more co-workers than the original dispute and hurt the organizational culture.
  • 8. Symptoms of Unresolved Conflict  Stress frustration and anxiety  Loss of Sleep  Strained relationships  Grievances and litigation  Employee turnover  Loss of productivity  Absenteeism
  • 9. Recommendations for Conflict-Safe Work Environment  Never allow conflict to become personal  Reward, recognize and thank individuals willing to take a stand and support their position  Expect individuals to support with data and facts  Provide training in healthy conflict and steps in mediating a conflict
  • 10.  Don’t play favorites. Not wrong to like some more than others. It is wrong to act on that in an unfair manner.  Talk to individuals one-on-one. See how things are going from their viewpoint.
  • 11. One of the most common things that allows conflicts to grow and escalate is assumptions – that other people won't understand, won't be reasonable, don't want to resolve things, etc. The first step to resolution is asking questions with curiosity, rather than making assumptions.
  • 12. Conflict  The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict but to use it. Conflict is a predictable social phenomenon and should be channeled to useful purposes.
  • 13. “A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate conflict; he/she tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his/her people. If you’re the boss and your people fight you openly when they think you are wrong –that’s healthy.” Robert Townsend CEO of Avis Rent a Car
  • 14.  If there is conflict or dissention in your department, look at your own actions.  Do you, either verbally or non-verbally send messages that it is not okay to disagree or  Do you put individuals “on the spot” when they express their opinion?
  • 15.  Observe closely the interactions among employees and what is going on  Ask individuals for how you are perceived handling conflict
  • 16. Conflict Involves  Emotions – What you feel is important  Perceptions – What you see at stake  Behaviors – How you act with others
  • 17.  Conflict Assessment for Natural Style
  • 19. 1. A Accommodate B Avoid 2. A Collaborate B Compete 3. A Compromise B Avoid 4. A Avoid B Collaborate 5. A Compromise B Accommodate 6. A Collaborate B Compromise 7. A Compete B Avoid 8. A Collaborate B Compromise 9. A Accommodate B Compete 10. A Compromise B Avoid 11. A Collaborate B Accommodate 12. A Avoid B Accommodate 13. A Compete B Compromise 14. A Compete B Collaborate 15. A Accommodate B Compete
  • 20. Styles  Accommodate (I Lose, You Win)  Avoid (I Lose, You Lose)  Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose)  Compete (I Win, You Lose)  Collaborate (I Win, You Win)
  • 21. Accommodate (I Lose, You Win) Putting aside your needs and desires and acquiescing to the other person’s requests/demands. Appropriate: • When a high value is placed on your relationship with the other party. • When outcome is of low importance to you, but is of high importance to the other party.
  • 22. Avoid (I Lose, You Lose) Side-stepping or withdrawing from the conflict situation. When you prevent/postpone conflict, it remains unresolved and neither party wins.
  • 23. Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose) Resolving the conflict quickly and efficiently by seeking a fair and equitable split between the two positions. Each side concedes on some of their issues in order to win others. Both parties must be flexible and willing to settle for a satisfactory resolution of their major issue.
  • 24. Compete (I Win, You Lose) Seeking to win your position at the expense of the other party losing theirs. Appropriate when only one party can achieve their desired outcome. Best used when outcome is extremely important and relationship is of low importance.
  • 25. Collaborate (I Win, You Win) Cooperating with the other party to try to resolve a common problem to a mutually satisfying outcome. When you join with the other party to compete against the situation, instead of each other. Each side must feel that the outcomes gained through collaboration are better than they could achieve on their own.
  • 26. Style Most Advantageous Based on: Importance of relationship Importance of outcome
  • 27. What Does This Mean?  Dependent on importance to you or organization to “R” or “O” ----  You may have to choose styles that are beyond your “comfort area” default style.
  • 28. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Compete I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importance of outcome Importanceofrelationship
  • 29. Conflict Gaps  In most workplaces because skills not there for collaboration  Ideal mix of styles in healthy workplaces: 75% Collaborate No more than 25% for Compete, Compromise, Accommodate and Avoid
  • 30. How To Achieve Better Outcomes  Build Trust….. gradually  Avoid Assumptions  Determine Expectations  Better Listening ---passive, active, questioning  Motivation --- underlying interests
  • 31. Building Trust  Let people know what is expected of them.  Decide on the limits of your trust.  Lead the way.  Build trust gradually.
  • 32. Listening Errors  Failure to hear clearly  Failure to communicate clearly  Failure to “hear between the lines”
  • 33. Listening Strategies  Passive listening  Active listening  Questioning  Looking for inconsistencies or underlying interests
  • 34. Interests & Concerns  What are their core concerns?  What is their motivation?  How can their interests be satisfied?
  • 35. Creativity Creativity helps to:  Think of new and different alternatives  Think of new strategies to advance your cause  Redefine the situation
  • 36.  Self-awareness - What is your default style?  What do you have to do to change?  What is your motivation?  Are you making assumptions?  Have you gathered the facts?  Are you establishing trust?
  • 37.  Conflict resolution in the workplace and creating a safe place for debate can be:  complicated  time-consuming  exasperating
  • 38.  However, when correctly:  worthwhile  productive  expanding
  • 39. What Are You Going To Do Differently?
  • 41.  People don’t quit jobs. They quit bosses.
  • 42. Coaching  Coaching – rather than “telling”: - Motivates - Leads to better teamwork - Greater engagement – ownership - Uncovers potential
  • 43. Engagement  Communication  Listening  Feedback  Dealing with conflict  Empathy
  • 44. “Our success is due, in part, to not just an ability but a willingness to look at things differently” Michael Dell
  • 45. Leading Yourself 1. Attitude 2. Self-Awareness 3. Specifics of Goal Achievement
  • 46. “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference” Winston Churchill
  • 47. Your attitude is the foundation for your success in any area. What you do is influenced by how you think, and your thoughts reflect your most basic attitude.
  • 48. One of the things that allow an individual to become successful is his or her attitude. Successful people don’t have any fewer problems than unsuccessful people; they just have a different mindset in dealing with them.
  • 49. Self-Awareness  Communication  Styles of Communication  DISC D – Decisive I - Interactive S - Stabilizing C - Cautious
  • 50. “ The art of communication is the language of leadership.” -James Hume, professor, speechwriter
  • 51. Successful Communicators  Identify difficult situations  Are aware and understanding  Other person’s point of view, filters  Adapt their style and messaging
  • 52. “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” George Bernard Shaw
  • 53. The first step to getting what you want is to communicate your thoughts so you are understood.
  • 54. Most problems at work are a result of poor communication.
  • 55. Communication is an Art, Not a Science There is no absolute right or wrong way to communicate effectively. What is most important is that you communicate in a manner and style most comfortable and effective for the situation and results.
  • 56. Effective communication is a two-way process in which there is an exchange and progression and ultimately understanding of ideas toward a mutually accepted direction or goal. Basic Elements: Speaker Listener Message Medium Feedback/Reply
  • 57. Communication Goals To get and give information To persuade To ensure understanding To get action To change behavior
  • 58. Information Richness & Media Type Face-to-face communication Verbal communication electronically transmitted Personally addressed Written communication Impersonal written communication High Richness Low Richness
  • 59. Engagement Model  Ask questions  Ask for feedback  Provide detailed feedback  80/20  Listen
  • 60. Empathy  Not sympathy  Does not show weakness  Have to listen  Reframe  Understand/Acknowledgement
  • 61. Listening Tips  Paraphrase the message to the speaker in order to confirm your understanding.  Repeat the message to help you remember what was said.  Probe for missing information.  Remember the most important points of the message for future application.  Act upon the message as necessary.
  • 62. Types of Feedback • Formal—documented annual/semiannual performance review • Informal—day-to-day communication and feedback about performance
  • 63. Levels of Feedback • None at all • Negative only • Positive only • Balanced
  • 64. The Default Performance Feedback System “If you don’t hear anything, you are doing just fine but if you screw up we’ll let you know!”
  • 65.  Lack of effective feedback is one of the biggest reasons for lack of engagement  What causes lack of effective feedback?
  • 66. Engagement Model More  Trust  Openness  Ownership  Versatility  Influence  Action
  • 67. Engagement Model Less • Control • Channels • Routine • Position power • Analysis • Bureaucracy
  • 68. Causes of Conflict at Work Miscommunication  The employee either did not receive the message or received only part of a message, or the message was delivered in a way that may have been misinterpreted. Different Interpretations  The employee believes that adherence to rules, policies, or procedures should be carried out in one way, while the actual intent or the rule, policy, or procedure is something else entirely. Different Values  The employee has less regard than others for a specific task or duty and does not attach importance to its value. Opposing Goals  The goals of the company or supervisor are directly opposed to those of the employee.
  • 69. Conflict Strategies Win/Win—Collaboration • Both parties achieve their goals o Example: Working together, an acceptable resolution is reached that helps everyone concerned regarding a conflict. Win/Lose—Competition • One person is defeated • Example: Employee’s request or complaint is denied without reason.
  • 70. Conflict Strategies (Cont.) Lose/Lose—Avoidance  Neither parties achieves its goals.  Example: Employee quits because of perceived problems at work. Lose/Win—Give in  One person gives in.  Example: Supervisor not enforcing rules.
  • 71. Reasons for Poor Performance • Lack of communication leads to: • Lack of trust • Lack of respect
  • 72. Basic Rules About Managing Performance 1.Set Expectations 2. Always expect excellent performance. 3. Never let poor work go unnoticed or performance issues go unchallenged.
  • 73. Team Leader’s Responsibilities • Train team members to work together • Identify potential obstacles • Suggest procedures or ideas for solving a problem • Help get information • Give input • Help the team progress • Monitor progress • Recognize and reward results
  • 74. Types of Difficult Team Members • The reluctant team member • The defiant team member • The dominant team member • The absentee team member • The vacationer team member
  • 75. Characteristics of an Engaged Team Player 1. Openly shares feelings, opinions, thoughts, and perceptions about problems and issues relating to the team. 2. When listening, attempts to hear and interpret communication from sender’s point of view. 3. Utilizes resources, ideas, and suggestions of other team members. 4. Trusts and supports other team members, encouraging their growth and development. 5. Understands and is committed to team objectives.
  • 76. Characteristics of an Engaged Team Player (Cont.) 6. Acknowledges and works through conflict openly, by respecting and being tolerant of individual differences. 7. Makes decisions based on information only, rather than being influenced by peer pressure. 8. Provides ideas and suggestions to the team leader that are helpful to the team. 9. Always strives for a win/win solution. 10. Strives for consensus on team decisions.
  • 77. Key To Change Desire Reinforced by conviction that goals and priorities are correct
  • 78.  Fern, please make this slide – Slide no. 21 from the “Famous” slide set in drop box. Pls. do not include text at bottom. Just picture and quote.
  • 79. Fern – Please make this slide using Slide #24 from Invest In your Future set of slides. IT is the picture of the ocean with the first word “Focus”
  • 80.  What Are You Going To Do Differently?
  • 81. Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution arosser@findingresolution.net 703-536-6915