Welcome everyone to a Devereaux
Legacy spin-off: ~Wishful Thinking~ Zane
Devereaux's Bachelorette Challenge.
I was originally intending to have this all
broody, sad and all “poor Zane” and such,
but so far it has been anything but. So
instead, this challenge will be rather
In the actual Legacy, Zane is unable to get
married, even though he's a Family Sim,
because he's the Grim Reaper. In the
story, he's also madly in love with Tina
Traveller, even though she doesn't really
However, seeing as this is all a dream (do
you youngsters remember Dallas? Yeah.
Like that.), the bachelorettes are all people
who reside in my version of Pleasantview.
In other words, kinda random, but mostly
familiar, Maxis Pre-Mades.
So, without further ado, welcome to Day
One of Zane's Wishful Thinking
Bachelorette Challenge: Meet and Greet.
“That should just about do it,” Zane said as
he put a cover on one of the previously bare
The switch between his old manor to
Thaddeus' was quite the undertaking.
Thaddeus had trashed the place and it had sat
that way for the entire time Thaddeus was
away at...wherever it was; Jezebel and Ruth
didn't go into detail.
Zane stepped down from the chair he had
been standing on and looked around,
pleased. He and the Hula girls had really
cleaned the place up nicely. Tina helped a bit
as well, but she didn't work well with the
sisters, so Zane had to find things for her to
do in different areas of the house.
But, now it was done. It was much smaller
than his old Gothic estate, but it was much
more cheerful and he felt it suited him better.
The sisters, on the other hand, were less than
pleased with the situation.
“Zane,” Ruth said, “you have to know that
Thad isn't going to stop with just the house
switch.” Zane held his hands out, helplessly.
“Ruth, there is nothing I can do. Besides, he
“Promises mean nothing to Thad!”
“What's done is done. Besides, I like this
place so much more. It feels more like a
Tina had remained uncharacteristically silent
throughout the entire process. She still hadn't
given Zane her decision, but it was assumed
that she had opted to stay on the Dead
Realm with him.
He was unsure of how to feel about her
observational silence, but he opted to let her
be; especially since they were in much closer
quarters. Tina had her own room, away from
everyone else, and he figured she would
come around in time.
Not for the first time, Zane wished that he
had a normal life. He knew there was no
point on dwelling upon it, but still, he liked to
wish and wonder.
In fact, his mind started wandering to those
fantasies as he laid down upon the couch and
read a book.
After a short time of reading however, he
found that the words kept slipping and sliding
beneath his gaze. He blinked a few times but
it didn't help much. Between having to go to
the Mortal Realm to shop for things for the
new house as well as the stress of the entire
situation, Zane felt something that he hadn't
felt since he became immortal:
He blinked a few more times and finally gave
in. He closed his eyes, with the intention of
just resting them for a few moments.
Zane grinned happily as he looked around at
his surroundings. He absolutely loved this
place and he was so very glad to call it home.
The best part about the house was the fact
that nothing abnormal ever happened inside
of it. It was a house that was filled with love
and laughter and he always felt so much
lighter and so much more at home whenever
he entered it.
With a whistle and spring in his step, Zane
walked up the driveway to go talk to the
other inhabitants within.
He entered the door and smiled slightly.
They were all there; all the completely normal
people that he had ever had the pleasure of
The demure Samantha Carter from the SG-1
And of course, always and forever, his best
gal, the love of his life, Tina Traveller.
Before he was able to address his
roommates, Tina walked over to him and
“So, yeah, Zane. This is a dream.”
“Wait, what? It is?”
“Of course silly! Did you honestly think that
all of these random strangers would
voluntarily come together and fawn upon
“Well, no, I suppose not,” he replied softly.
“Besides, you're in love with me, so why
would you bother having a Bachelorette
“Is that what this is? Oh dear, that is not
“Yeah, and seeing as this is a dream,
dreaming about seven ladies rubbing up on
you is kinda perverted.”
“But, you can have fun with it, I suppose. I
mean, it's not like I'm not going to win this,
“Of course, Tina!”
He thought about what Tina had said for a
moment and then he smiled. “You are right,
even if this is a dream, it would not be all
together unpleasant to have some fun with it.
Would you care to dance with me?”
“You want me to dance with you? Really?
Zane, what part of 'Secret Friends' don't you
get? It means that I don't want anyone to
know that we're friends so people don't think
badly of me. Come on, I know you're
smarter than that; look at all the good grades
you got for me when you did my
Zane paused and shook his head, as if to
clear a bad thought out of it.
Tina had a smile on her face. “Zane, you're
so cute and I absolutely adore you! But we
don't want to the other girls to get jealous, so
you might want to talk to them, even though
we both know that it's me you're in love
He smiled happily and walked away.
Zane is so cute, Tina thought. I just adore
him to pieces!
He sat upon the couch and observed the
other women chatting with each other.
So what if it's a dream? He thought to
himself. It could be a much worse one.
Besides, this can't be that abnormal, is it? I
still have hormones, after all. I would also
have a healthy sex drive if I actually had...
He abruptly stopped that train of thought. If
he could control his dreams, even if only a
little, he didn't really want to explore where
those errant thoughts would go. It might
prove to be rather...embarrassing.
He smiled happily to himself and decided that
he really should talk to the other women. It
would only be fair to chat with them a little
bit before he chose Tina over all of them.
He began to make his rounds around the
room and he noticed that immediately a
couple of the women followed him.
“Hiya Zane!” Meadow said. “I just want to
give you an innocent tickle. You don't mind,
do you? I'm an adult, so it's all good!” She
reached over and poked him in the ribs,
which made him laugh.
“When you're done with Meadow, I want to
dance with you,” Lucy said as she watched
“Look at that tush! Just lean a little bit more
over this way, cutie, and I'm gonna pinch it!”
After being tickled by Meadow, and
successfully avoiding a Death Grip pinch by
Sandy, he turned to Lucy and began to dance
“You're so much of a better dancer than
Alexander,” Lucy informed him with a smile.
“Alexander? You know him?”
“Well, duh! It always seems like I'm paired
with him, no matter what dimension we're
“Lucy, you can do so much better!”
“The same could be said for you.”
Zane was startled by her comment. Finally,
he simply said, “I have no idea what you're
talking about,” and he walked away.
“Hey Cassandra,” he said amiably to the dark
haired woman, “would you like to dance
“Why are you talking to me, Devereaux? I
know you can't possibly think that even in a
dream that I would forgive your family for
what they have done to mine!”
“But, they,we, didn't do any-”
“Leave me alone!” she snapped.
Zane shrugged, and left her alone.
“Finally I get to talk to you! So, tell me
Zaney-poo, are you outgoing enough to do
the hot tub dates in the nude?” Sandy asked
as she reached to put her arm around his
waist. Zane held up his hands to fend her off.
“Ah, no, not really.”
“Not even in a dream?”
He could feel himself blush. “Especially not
in a dream.”
“Hm. Pity,” was her reply as he made his
He only made it a few steps before Carter got
a hold of him.
“You know, Zane, studies have shown that
situations of intense stress can lead to bad
dreams as well as sore muscles. I would
recommend that you just relax a little bit,”
she told him as she rubbed his back.
It is official, he thought, there is seriously
something wrong with me.
As Zane was receiving a very satisfying
backrub from Carter, Lilith approached
Cassandra and out of the blue poked her
meanly in her chest.
“Why did you need to be so mean to Zane?”
“Ow! Did you...did you just poke me?!”
“Yeah. I did. What are you going to do
about it Sally-girl? Huh? Nothing because
you're a Nancy priss, that's why! No wonder
Don Lothario left you at the altar!”
The only response Cassandra gave to Lilith
was a sound back hand across the face. As
Lilith stood there reeling from the blow,
Cassandra stuck out her tongue and walked
“OH NO YOU DIDN'T!” Lilith shouted as
she jumped upon Cassandra's back and
proceeded to beat the ever living tar out of
It appeared to Zane that he was, alarmingly,
the only one in the room who was concerned
by the random fight that had just broken out.
“And take that!” Lilith shouted in triumph as
she finally knocked Cassandra to the ground.
“Oh, and by the way, you know how they say
that black is slimming? Yeah, they were lying.
Your butt looks huge!”
Cassandra rubbed her backside. “It's just the
cut of the dress that makes it look that way
you red haired demon!”
“Yeah, keep lying to yourself like that bubble
Zane decided that he had enough. “Um,
ladies, I do believe it is about time for us to
eat. Perhaps you would like to join the rest of
us for some dinner?”
“Cassandra could afford to skip a few meals.”
“It's the cut of the dress!”
Zane shook his head and headed for the
As everyone followed, Lilith took a moment
to smooth out her hair. “Well, I'm sure that
made a positive impression on Zane. He
likes aggressive women.”
Zane was silently pleased that Tina had taken
it upon herself to sit down next to him. She
didn't speak to him, though. Then again, all
conversation was overridden by the one that
was taking place at the other end of the table.
“Lucy,” Cassandra said in a sickeningly sweet
tone, “could you please tell Lilith that I hope
that she chokes to death on her meal?”
Lucy looked over at Lilith, who was shoveling
food into her mouth like it was her last meal.
“Lilith, Cassandra says that she hopes you
choke to death on your food.”
Lilith sat up and chewed her food
contemplatively as she thought of a response.
“Lucy, would you please tell Bubble Butt that
I hope she dies in a fire?”
“Lilith says that-”
“Yeah, I heard her. Tell her that I said that old
memes are old.”
“Hey screw you! You were mean to Zane, so
I was just teaching you a lesson in manners.”
A pensive look was on Zane's face as he
listened to the conversation. “Yes, I cannot
claim to be an expert on women. However, I
am pretty sure that this is more of a result of
a damaged psyche than anything else. Major
Carter, I know you are not that kind of
doctor, but perhaps you might be able to give
some insight on as to why I seem to be
dreaming about women cat fighting?”
“Ooo, I think they are going to fight again
after dinner. Perhaps I should give them
some fighting tips so they can be more
efficient,” was Carter's reply as she watched
the other women, fascinated.
Zane felt his eyelid twitch and he sighed.
Darkness fell as they were finishing up dinner.
The girls all stood up and began milling
about, mostly leaving their plates upon the
table for Zane to clean up. As he was doing
so, he noticed a regretful look on Cassandra's
face. When he heard Lilith crying behind
him, he figured that was the reason: he
thought Cassandra was feeling bad for being
“Hey, Cassandra,” he began softly, trying to
be consoling, “it's going to be okay. Maybe
we can talk a bit later?”
Cassandra looked up sharply at him. “What
the hell are you talking about? Lilith is crying
because I told her that I can't tell the
difference between her freckles or pimples.
Then I kicked her. Why are you talking to
me?” She sniffed disdainfully and stalked out
of the room.
He shrugged and began walking to the
kitchen with the plates. As he passed by Tina,
he gave her a wry smile. “It looks like you
and I are the only sane ones in this house.”
Tina said nothing as she watched him pass by
His brow knitted slightly as he washed the
dishes. When he turned around, he saw Tina
grinning at him with a loving look in her eye.
He smiled sweetly at her as she grabbed
another plate of food.
It appeared that Tina was not the only one
who wanted to have more than one plate of
food. Major Carter was eating another salad
as Tina sat down next to her, giving her a cool
“Why are you here?” Tina asked.
“The same reason you are, I suppose. We
are, essentially, a figment of Zane's
imagination; a conglomeration of his
subconscious paired with people that he has
most likely come across in his waking life. It is
interesting to note that-”
“Blah blah blah. I mean, why are you here?
Don't you have something going on with Jack
Carter raised an eyebrow. “My relationship
with Colonel O'Neill is nothing more than of
the professional sort.”
Tina rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Well, I'm
gonna win this thing, so I suppose it doesn't
Meanwhile, in the living room, Zane was
dancing a bit to the stereo with the hopes
that some of the other women would join
him. Unfortunately, it appeared that Sandy
was the only one who noticed as she sat
upon the couch cheering Zane on.
“Yeah baby! Shake it! Shake it some more!
Hey Zane, why don't you come over here so I
can get a better look at your cute little tush.”
Zane whirled around to her with a blush. “I
am sorry. I can not even begin to fathom
why you are here. It is not like-” and he
stopped himself. Be nice, he told himself, she
is probably a very lovely person on the inside.
One mustn't be so shallow. He smiled at the
blonde woman. “Would you like to join me?”
“Would I ever!” Sandy cried with glee and
she rushed to Zane's side.
“Oh! I would, too!” Meadow called, running
in to join them.
Sandy ignored the other woman as she began
to shake her bottom in Zane's direction.
“Don't be shy. You can look. All this and
more can be yours if you choose me!”
“Uh, yes, that is very, um...nice,” he said,
trying to smile. He felt he was failing
“Darn skippy it is!”
Zane wondered what the other women were
up to. He had the feeling that they were all
hanging out in the kitchen.
Well, all of them that is, except for Lilith and
Cassandra. They were upstairs in the loft.
“Hey Bubble Butt. I'm looking at the
dictionary here and right next to 'Ugly' is a
picture of you,” Lilith smirked.
“Hey Pointy Nose, you see this dart? Yeah,
I'm pretending that the dartboard is your face
and I'm throwing this right between your
Eventually, it was time to go to bed. Zane
thought it was amusing that even though this
entire endeavor was apparently a dream, he
still felt the need to dream about going to
“I must be more exhausted than I thought,”
he murmured to himself as he crawled into
the bed. He was vaguely aware that the girls
had somewhere to sleep as well, but he
hadn't gotten a chance to see exactly where.
In the end, he figured that it wouldn't matter.
If they went to sleep or not, that was up to
them. He thought it might be a while before
they retired, though...
...especially considering that he heard
another fight brewing upstairs.
The next morning, Zane woke up to find that
all the girls were already prepared for the day
and they were killing time by playing some of
the various games that were available in the
He was promptly welcomed, and he was
invited to sit down and join in the “Don't
Wake the llama” game. Though he had never
played it before, or any game for that matter,
he found that he was rather good at it.
After a couple of rounds, Zane leaned back at
looked over at Lucy. “Hey, Lucy, I was
wondering if I could talk to you?”
Lucy looked over at him, surprised, but then
she nodded. “Sure,” she said and they both
stood up and walked a bit to the side.
“What's up?” She asked him.
“What did you mean when you said before
that I could do so much better?”
Lucy threw her head back and laughed. “Oh
come on. You know exactly what I am talking
about. Here, I'll give you a hint: What you
think is best for you might not necessarily be
the best for you. Get it now?”
Zane ran his hand through his hair. “You
mean like with you and Alexander Goth?”
Lucy laughed again. “Aw, he's not that bad.
The Alexander that you know is different;
however, universally he's not that bad. I know
this, so I can tolerate him. But, that is not
what I am referring to.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Zane, you know the answer, but you just
keep denying it. It will come to you
eventually. I'm positive.” She laughed again
and sat back down at the Llama table.
Instead of rejoining the game himself though,
he spied Lilith and realized that he hadn't had
a chance to talk to her. Putting on a smile he
walked up to her and began with, “Hi Lilith-”
“BORED! I wanna beat up Cassandra!” she
shouted at him and walked away. Stunned,
he watched her walk away.
With a shrug, he approached Carter. “So,
Major Carter, I understand that you travel to
other worlds via the Stargate. That is
absolutely fascinating! I am also led to
believe that you have accidentally traveled to
other time lines and dimensions. I, myself,
am vaguely familiar with the other dimension
“I don't know where you get your stories
from, Zane, but my team and I study deep
space telemetry and nothing more. Other
worlds and dimensions are stories that are
best left to the tabloids,” Carter said in a
“Um, okay...” he responded with a shrug.
Next, he spied Cassandra glaring at Lilith. He
walked up to her and put on his biggest, most
“Hi Cassandra. I realize that perhaps we had
gotten off on the wrong foot, but I was
wondering if we could possibly-”
“Why do you keep talking to me? I have
informed you again and again that I am not
interested in having any sort of conversation
with you! Are you some sort of masochist?”
“No, I do not think I am-”
“Well, you sure could have fooled me. Go
He glumly walked down the stairs when he
realized that the other girls were far more
entertained by the games than with talking to
him. He brightened up when he saw Tina,
“Hi Tina,” he began softly.
“Ew! Don't talk to me. I don't like you like
that! I never really did! I just-”
He violently shook his head and clenched his
The girls had all gathered together in the
living room so he could make his
Announcement? He questioned himself.
It felt mean, what he was supposed to do, but
the flow of his dream was forcing this upon
He stood in front of them as they all looked
at him with a smile.
“So, I guess I am supposed to eliminate one
of you and apparently I am to do so until I am
down to only one. It is an odd ritual, but
there is nothing I can do about it. I am afraid
to say that, at least for today, it was an easy
“Yeah, you hear that Bubble Butt? It was an
easy decision because he thinks that you're
ugly,” Lilith gloated to Cassandra.
“Lilith, you are the one who I am going to
eliminate today,” Zane said with finality.
“Why? Because this is the longest
conversation I've had with you!”
“But, but, CASSANDRA-”
“I am sorry, I really am. But-”
Lilith stomped over to the computer to
prepare her move out phase. “Whatever.
You're going to be lonely for the rest of your
life, so I don't even know why you're even
bothering to dream that you could have a
happy life,” she snarled as she stood up.
Zane and everyone else waved goodbye, but
she ignored them, so very pleased with the
dig she got in on Zane, even though he chose
to ignore it.
As she was walking out the door, an
inexplicable bolt of lightning crashed down
Lilith looked up at the cloudless sky, the smell
of burnt clothes and hair drifting up her nose.
“That...was unnecessary,” she had time to
squeak before she popped out of existence.
“I...HAVE...THE POWER!” Keith shouted as
he started dancing on the chair he was
“I do not believe it is very ethical for you to
Smite a Sim when the situation is
unwarranted. That kind of power should not
rest in a mortal's hands. Otherwise they
might become corrupt,” Daniel Jackson said
in a holier-than-thou tone of voice.
“WOOT! I got to Smite someone!” Keith
shouted, still dancing, completely ignoring
the annoying archeologist.
“So Teal'c, I'm not entirely sure that I'm
comfortable with Carter being in this
challenge. It completely goes against her
“I believe it was a random occurrence,
“I am also certain that Major Carter will
compete to her fullest potential. She is not
one to back down from a challenge. I am
quite certain that she may win this.”
A strange look passed across Jack O'Neill's
face. “Carter? Win the competition? Carter?
Naaah. I mean...no way.”
Teal'c only smiled in response.
Jack was silent for a few moments before he
spoke again. “You know, Teal'c, I don't know
how we would handle that situation. But, I
am very sure of one thing.”
“And what would that be, O'Neill?”
“If that guy doesn't quit dancing around, I'M
going to find a way to zap him with that box!”
Thanks for reading!
Scores so far:
Meadow (Family): 72/12=84 2 Bolts Friend
Carter (Knowledge): 36/16=42 2 Bolts
Tina (Popularity): 24/9=33 2 Bolts
Cassandra (Family): 16/6=22 1 Bolt
Sandy (Romance): 16/-3=13 1 Bolt
Lucy (Popularity): 9/0=9 1 Bolt
Lilith (Popularity): -1/0=-1 1 Bolt
I had to force Zane to do at least one chat
with everyone, otherwise Cassandra and Lilith
would have been tied for last place; seriously,
all they did was fight the entire time, and I
don't know why. It wasn't jealousy as Zane
hadn't even talked to them. Oh well. It gave
me the endless giggles.
As for Meadow's score...I have no idea. I
searched through all of my pictures and I had
nothing really of those two. They must have
hung out at some point when I was trying to
stop Cass and Lilith from fighting. Again, all
scores started at 0.
Hope you enjoyed this and Day Two should
be out soon!