Counseling Skills Required

Skills Required inSkills Required in
CounselingCounseling
 EmpathyEmpathy
 Self DisclosureSelf Disclosure
 AcceptanceAcceptance
 GenuinenessGenuineness
 ConcretenessConcreteness
 Counseling InterventionCounseling Intervention
 Counseling ReflectionCounseling Reflection
 Counseling Interview.Counseling Interview.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018Wednesday, February 7, 2018angstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.com

CounselingSkillsCounselingSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
 Experience of understanding anotherExperience of understanding another
person’s condition from their perspective.person’s condition from their perspective.
 Ability to perceive another’s experience andAbility to perceive another’s experience and
then to communicate that perception backthen to communicate that perception back
to the individual to clarify and amplify theirto the individual to clarify and amplify their
own experiencing and meaning.own experiencing and meaning.
Primary skills associated with the communicationPrimary skills associated with the communication
of empathy include-of empathy include-
A.A. Nonverbal and verbal attendingNonverbal and verbal attending
B.B. Paraphrasing content of client communicationsParaphrasing content of client communications
C.C. Reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.Reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.

 The ways in which counselors can be “with” theirThe ways in which counselors can be “with” their
clients, both physically and psychologically.clients, both physically and psychologically.
 It tells clients that you are with them and thatIt tells clients that you are with them and that
they can share their world with you.they can share their world with you.
 Acronym SOLER can be used to help to show innerAcronym SOLER can be used to help to show inner
attitudes and values of respect and genuinenessattitudes and values of respect and genuineness
towards a client.towards a client.
SS :: SSquarely face your client.quarely face your client.
OO : Adopt an: Adopt an OOpen Posture.pen Posture.
LL :: LLean toward the client (when appropriate) to show yourean toward the client (when appropriate) to show your
involvement and interest.involvement and interest.
EE :: EEye contact with a client conveys the message that youye contact with a client conveys the message that you
are interested in what the client has to say.are interested in what the client has to say.
RR : Try to be: Try to be RRelaxed or natural with the client.elaxed or natural with the client.
AttendingAttending
EmpathyEmpathy

Attending PhysicallyAttending Physically
 A Posture of InvolvementA Posture of Involvement
 Appropriate Body MotionAppropriate Body Motion
 Eye ContactEye Contact
 Creating a Non DestructingCreating a Non Destructing
EnvironmentEnvironment
AttendingAttending
EmpathyEmpathy

ObservingObserving
 Observing means asking clients about themselves.Observing means asking clients about themselves.
 It involves –It involves –
• Ask clients about their reasons for coming.Ask clients about their reasons for coming.
• Help clients decide what decisions they face.Help clients decide what decisions they face.
• Help clients express their feelings, needs, wants and anyHelp clients express their feelings, needs, wants and any
doubts, concerns or talking.doubts, concerns or talking.
• Keep questions open, simple and brief.Keep questions open, simple and brief.
• Ask clients what they want to do.Ask clients what they want to do.
• Listen actively to what the client says.Listen actively to what the client says.
• Follow where the client leads the discussion.Follow where the client leads the discussion.
• Show your interest and understanding at all times.Show your interest and understanding at all times.
• Express empathy.Express empathy.
• Avoid judgments and opinion.Avoid judgments and opinion.
AttendingAttending
EmpathyEmpathy

ParaphrasingParaphrasing
 Counselor rephrases the content of the client’sCounselor rephrases the content of the client’s
message.message.
 Selective focusing on the cognitive part of theSelective focusing on the cognitive part of the
message – with the client’s key words andmessage – with the client’s key words and
ideas.ideas.
 Being communicated back to the client in aBeing communicated back to the client in a
rephrased and shortened form.rephrased and shortened form.
Examples - Client: I feel terrible.
Counselor: You feel terrible.
Client: I heard a noise.
Counselor: A noise?
EmpathyEmpathy

Four steps in effective paraphrasing-Four steps in effective paraphrasing-
A.A.Listen and recallListen and recall: Entire client message recalled and do: Entire client message recalled and do
not omit any significant parts.not omit any significant parts.
B.B. Identify the contentIdentify the content:: Part of the message by decidingPart of the message by deciding
what event, situation, idea, or person the client is talkingwhat event, situation, idea, or person the client is talking
about.about.
C.C. RephraseRephrase: key words and ideas the client has used to: key words and ideas the client has used to
communicate their concerns in a fresh or differentcommunicate their concerns in a fresh or different
perspective.perspective.
D.D. Perception checkPerception check:: Usually in the form of a briefUsually in the form of a brief
question, e.g. “It sounds like...”, “Let me see if Iquestion, e.g. “It sounds like...”, “Let me see if I
understand this”, which allows the client to agree orunderstand this”, which allows the client to agree or
disagree with the accuracy of your paraphrasing.disagree with the accuracy of your paraphrasing.
EmpathyEmpathy

Purposes of ParaphrasingPurposes of Paraphrasing
• Convey that you are understanding him/herConvey that you are understanding him/her
• Help the client by simplifying, focusing andHelp the client by simplifying, focusing and
crystallizing what they saidcrystallizing what they said
• May encourage the client to elaborateMay encourage the client to elaborate
• Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions.Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions.
When to UseWhen to Use
 When you have an hypothesis about what’s going on withWhen you have an hypothesis about what’s going on with
the clientthe client
 When the client is in a decision making conflictWhen the client is in a decision making conflict
 When the client has presented a lot of material and youWhen the client has presented a lot of material and you
feel confused.feel confused.
EmpathyEmpathy

 It is the echoing back of the last few words that theIt is the echoing back of the last few words that the
client has spoken.client has spoken.
 It is a verbal response to client emotion.It is a verbal response to client emotion.
 It is the process of paraphrasing and restating both theIt is the process of paraphrasing and restating both the
feelings and words of the client.feelings and words of the client.
CounseleeCounselee:: We moved to Chittagong from Rajbari at theWe moved to Chittagong from Rajbari at the
beginning of last year but none of us really settled down.beginning of last year but none of us really settled down.
My wife never did like living in such a large city. I found itMy wife never did like living in such a large city. I found it
difficult to get a job…difficult to get a job…
CounCounselorselor: You found it difficult to get a job…: You found it difficult to get a job…
CounseleeCounselee: Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I: Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I
suppose I didn’t really try hard enough…suppose I didn’t really try hard enough…
CounselorCounselor:: You didn’t really try hard enough…You didn’t really try hard enough…
ReflectingReflecting
EmpathyEmpathy

Purposes of a ReflectionPurposes of a Reflection
• Helps clientsHelps clients
• Feel understoodFeel understood
• Express more feelingsExpress more feelings
• Manage feelingsManage feelings
• Discriminate among various feelings.Discriminate among various feelings.
EmpathyEmpathy

Two main techniques of reflecting are-Two main techniques of reflecting are-
 MirroringMirroring
 It is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeatingIt is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeating
almost exactly what the speaker says.almost exactly what the speaker says.
 It should be short and simple.It should be short and simple.
 It is usually enough to just repeat key words or the lastIt is usually enough to just repeat key words or the last
few words spoken.few words spoken.
 This shows you are trying to understand the speakersThis shows you are trying to understand the speakers
terms of reference and acts as a prompt for him or herterms of reference and acts as a prompt for him or her
to continue.to continue.
 Be aware not to over mirror as this can become irritatingBe aware not to over mirror as this can become irritating
and therefore a distraction from the message.and therefore a distraction from the message.
 ParaphrasingParaphrasing
EmpathyEmpathy

Guidelines for ReflectingGuidelines for Reflecting
 Be natural.Be natural.
 Listen for the basic message - consider theListen for the basic message - consider the
content, feeling and meaning expressed by thecontent, feeling and meaning expressed by the
speaker.speaker.
 Restate what you have been told in simple terms.Restate what you have been told in simple terms.
 When restating, look for non-verbal as well asWhen restating, look for non-verbal as well as
verbal cues that confirm or deny the accuracy ofverbal cues that confirm or deny the accuracy of
your paraphrasing.your paraphrasing.
 Do not question the speaker unnecessarily.Do not question the speaker unnecessarily.
 Do not add to the speaker's meaning.Do not add to the speaker's meaning.
 Do not take the speaker's topic in a new direction.Do not take the speaker's topic in a new direction.
 Always be non-directive and non-judgmental.Always be non-directive and non-judgmental.
EmpathyEmpathy

Steps of a ReflectionSteps of a Reflection
a.a. Listen closely and observe behaviorListen closely and observe behavior
• Watch nonverbal behaviorWatch nonverbal behavior
• Verbally reflect the feelings back to the clientVerbally reflect the feelings back to the client
b.b. Identify the feeling categoryIdentify the feeling category
c.c. Identify the intensityIdentify the intensity
d.d. Match the feeling and intensity of a wordMatch the feeling and intensity of a word
e.e. Feed back to the clientFeed back to the client
f.f. Add content using the formAdd content using the form
““You feel ___ , because _____”.You feel ___ , because _____”.
g.g. Check for accuracy.Check for accuracy.
EmpathyEmpathy

Self-DisclosureSelf-Disclosure
 It is a simple approach to communication thatIt is a simple approach to communication that
involves sharing information about yourself,involves sharing information about yourself,
history, present, emotions and thoughts.history, present, emotions and thoughts.
 CCounselor shares personal feelings, experiences,ounselor shares personal feelings, experiences,
or reactions to the client.or reactions to the client.
 Should include relevant content intended to helpShould include relevant content intended to help
them.them.
Four different types of self-disclosures are –Four different types of self-disclosures are –
 Deliberate,Deliberate,
 Unavoidable,Unavoidable,
 Accidental andAccidental and
 Client initiated.Client initiated.

 Deliberate Self DisclosureDeliberate Self Disclosure:: Therapists’ intentional,Therapists’ intentional,
verbal or non-verbal disclosure of personal information.verbal or non-verbal disclosure of personal information.
Two types of deliberate self-disclosures are –Two types of deliberate self-disclosures are –
1.1.Self-revealingSelf-revealing - information by therapists about- information by therapists about
themselves.themselves.
2. Self-involving2. Self-involving - therapists’ personal reactions to clients- therapists’ personal reactions to clients
and to occurrences that take place during sessions.and to occurrences that take place during sessions.
 Unavoidable Self DisclosureUnavoidable Self Disclosure: It include an: It include an
extremely wide range of possibilities, such as therapist’sextremely wide range of possibilities, such as therapist’s
gender, age and physics. Therapists reveal themselvesgender, age and physics. Therapists reveal themselves
also by their manner of dress, hairstyle, use of make-also by their manner of dress, hairstyle, use of make-
up, jewelry, perfume, marital status, religion or politicalup, jewelry, perfume, marital status, religion or political
affiliation and other personal information may be readilyaffiliation and other personal information may be readily
available to clients.available to clients.

 Accidental Self-DisclosureAccidental Self-Disclosure: Occurs when there: Occurs when there
are incidental (unplanned) encounters outside theare incidental (unplanned) encounters outside the
office, spontaneous verbal or non-verbal reactions, oroffice, spontaneous verbal or non-verbal reactions, or
other planned and unplanned occurrences that happenother planned and unplanned occurrences that happen
to reveal therapists’ personal information to theirto reveal therapists’ personal information to their
clients.clients.

 Clients’ InitiateClients’ Initiate: Clients can initiate inquiries: Clients can initiate inquiries
about their therapist. Such searches can reveal aabout their therapist. Such searches can reveal a
wide range of professional and personal information,wide range of professional and personal information,
such as family history, volunteer activity, politicalsuch as family history, volunteer activity, political
affiliations and much more. Therapists’ biographies oraffiliations and much more. Therapists’ biographies or
professional resumes may also reveal significantprofessional resumes may also reveal significant
information about the therapist.information about the therapist.

Some dangers of self-disclosure are-Some dangers of self-disclosure are-
 It can move the focus from the otherIt can move the focus from the other
person to you.person to you.
 It can create a pressure to support orIt can create a pressure to support or
protect you.protect you.
 It can be mistaken for advice.It can be mistaken for advice.
 Therapists’ theoretical orientation andTherapists’ theoretical orientation and
comfort with self-disclosure is oftencomfort with self-disclosure is often
determined by their culture, gender anddetermined by their culture, gender and
personality.personality.

AcceptanceAcceptance
 It is simply an acknowledgment of “What
Is”.
 It forgoes judgment on a circumstance.
 It is a mindset which allows to let go of
frustration and disappointment, stress and
anxiety, regret and false hopes.
 It brings peace.
 It is the practice of recognizing the limits
of control.
 It is a straightforward concept yet a
difficult practice.

GenuinenessGenuineness
 Genuineness (also known as congruence) refers toGenuineness (also known as congruence) refers to
the therapist’s ability is be authentic.the therapist’s ability is be authentic.
 When a therapist is genuine, s/he might shareWhen a therapist is genuine, s/he might share
her/his emotional reactions to clients’ problems andher/his emotional reactions to clients’ problems and
experiences.experiences.
 Genuineness does not mean therapists disclose theirGenuineness does not mean therapists disclose their
problems to clients; it just means the therapistproblems to clients; it just means the therapist
shares his or her feelings regarding the client’sshares his or her feelings regarding the client’s
experiences.experiences.
For exampleFor example, helping a client explore a drug or sexual, helping a client explore a drug or sexual
issue, but their behavior (verbally and nonverbally)issue, but their behavior (verbally and nonverbally)
shows signs of discomfort with the topic this willshows signs of discomfort with the topic this will
become an obstacle to progress and often lead tobecome an obstacle to progress and often lead to
client confusion about and mistrust of the counselor.client confusion about and mistrust of the counselor.

Some of the qualities go to make up genuineness are -Some of the qualities go to make up genuineness are -
 Professional roleProfessional role: Relating to others and helping: Relating to others and helping
others are part of the life of a counselor.others are part of the life of a counselor.
 SpontaneitySpontaneity: A genuine person is spontaneous and: A genuine person is spontaneous and
free - but not impulsive.free - but not impulsive.
 Non defensiveNon defensive: The genuine person is non: The genuine person is non
defensive and is aware of his/her strengths anddefensive and is aware of his/her strengths and
limitations.limitations.
 ConsistencyConsistency: A genuine counselor has few: A genuine counselor has few
discrepancies, and does not have one set of valuesdiscrepancies, and does not have one set of values
for each situation he/she is confronted with.for each situation he/she is confronted with.
 Self-sharingSelf-sharing: The genuine counselor is capable of: The genuine counselor is capable of
deep self-disclosure.deep self-disclosure.
GenuinenessGenuineness

ConcretenessConcreteness
Keeping communications specific - focused on factsKeeping communications specific - focused on facts
and feelings of relevant concerns, while avoidingand feelings of relevant concerns, while avoiding
tangents, generalizations, abstract discussions, ortangents, generalizations, abstract discussions, or
talking about counselor rather than the client.talking about counselor rather than the client.
Includes the following functions-Includes the following functions-
 Assisting client to identify and work on a specificAssisting client to identify and work on a specific
problem from the various ones presented.problem from the various ones presented.
 Reminding the client of the task and re-describingReminding the client of the task and re-describing
intent and structure of the session.intent and structure of the session.
 Using questions and suggestions to help the clientUsing questions and suggestions to help the client
clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.
 Use a here-and-now focus to emphasize processUse a here-and-now focus to emphasize process
and content occurring in current session.and content occurring in current session.

 Intervention is an orchestrated attempt byIntervention is an orchestrated attempt by
one or many people - usually family andone or many people - usually family and
friends – to get someone to seekfriends – to get someone to seek
professional help with an addiction or someprofessional help with an addiction or some
kind of traumatic event or crisis, or otherkind of traumatic event or crisis, or other
serious problem.serious problem.
 Interventions have been used to addressInterventions have been used to address
serious personal problems, including, butserious personal problems, including, but
not limited to, alcoholism, compulsivenot limited to, alcoholism, compulsive
gambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating andgambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating and
other eating disorders, self harm and beingother eating disorders, self harm and being
the victim of abuse.the victim of abuse.
InterventionsInterventions

Main three types of interventions use in counseling are-Main three types of interventions use in counseling are-
1.1. QuestioningQuestioning
A.A. Open-Ended QuestionOpen-Ended Question
B.B. Closed-Ended QuestionClosed-Ended Question
2.2. ReflectionReflection
3.3. ChallengingChallenging

It helps us understand the client’s situation and itIt helps us understand the client’s situation and it
helps us assess clinical conditions.helps us assess clinical conditions.
When asking questionsWhen asking questions --
DODO ask one question at a timeask one question at a time
DODO look at the personlook at the person
DODO be brief and clearbe brief and clear
DODO ask questions that serve a purposeask questions that serve a purpose
DODO use questions to help the client talk about theiruse questions to help the client talk about their
feelings and behaviorsfeelings and behaviors
DODO use questions to explore and understand issuesuse questions to explore and understand issues
DO NOTDO NOT ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity.ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity.
QuestioningQuestioning

Three styles of questions-Three styles of questions-
A.A. Closed questions:Closed questions: Limits the response of the clientLimits the response of the client
to a one-word answer. It may not requires clientsto a one-word answer. It may not requires clients
to think about what they are saying. Answers canto think about what they are saying. Answers can
be brief and often result in the need to ask morebe brief and often result in the need to ask more
questions.questions.
B.B. Open questions:Open questions: Requires more than a one-wordRequires more than a one-word
answer. It generally begins with “how”, ”what”,answer. It generally begins with “how”, ”what”,
“when”, “where” or “why”. It invites the client to“when”, “where” or “why”. It invites the client to
continue talking and decide the conversationcontinue talking and decide the conversation
direction.direction.
C.C. Leading questions:Leading questions: Counselor guides the client toCounselor guides the client to
give the answer they desire. These questions aregive the answer they desire. These questions are
usually judgmental.usually judgmental.
CounselingSkillsCounselingSkills Counseling InterventionsCounseling Interventions

Questions that can easily answer with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- orQuestions that can easily answer with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- or
two-word responses-two-word responses-
 ““Are you going to have the test done?”Are you going to have the test done?”
 ““Did you drink before you got into the car?”Did you drink before you got into the car?”
 ““Do you drink often?”Do you drink often?”
 ““Do you exercise?”Do you exercise?”
 ““Do you like your job?”Do you like your job?”
Purposes of Closed-Ended QuestionsPurposes of Closed-Ended Questions
• Obtain specific informationObtain specific information
• Identify parameters of a problem or issueIdentify parameters of a problem or issue
• Narrow the topic of discussionNarrow the topic of discussion
• Interrupt an over-talkative client.Interrupt an over-talkative client.
Closed-Ended QuestionsClosed-Ended Questions

Questions that clients cannot easily answer withQuestions that clients cannot easily answer with
“Yes”, “No,” or one- or two-word responses.“Yes”, “No,” or one- or two-word responses.
Most often –Most often –
Open-Ended QuestionsOpen-Ended Questions
How:How: enables talk about feelings and/orenables talk about feelings and/or
process.process.
What:What: leads to facts and information.leads to facts and information.
When:When: brings out the timing of the problem.brings out the timing of the problem.
Where:Where: enables discussion about theenables discussion about the
environment and situations.environment and situations.
Why?:Why?: brings out reasons.brings out reasons.

Open-Ended QuestionsOpen-Ended Questions
Purposes of Open-Ended QuestionsPurposes of Open-Ended Questions
• Begin an interviewBegin an interview
• Encourage client elaborationEncourage client elaboration
• Elicit specific examplesElicit specific examples
• Motivate clients to communicate.Motivate clients to communicate.

ExamplesExamples
CC: Are you scared?: Are you scared?
OO: How do you feel?: How do you feel?
CC: Are you concerned about what you will: Are you concerned about what you will
do if the test results are positive?do if the test results are positive?
OO: What do you think you might do if: What do you think you might do if
the test results are positive?the test results are positive?
CC: Is your relationship with your husband: Is your relationship with your husband
a good one?a good one?
OO: Tell me about your relationship with: Tell me about your relationship with
your husband.your husband.
ClosedClosedvs.Openvs.OpenEndedQuestionsEndedQuestions

Counselor guides the client to give the answer theyCounselor guides the client to give the answer they
desire. These questions are usually judgmental.desire. These questions are usually judgmental.
For example-For example-
You came to consider this, didn’t you?You came to consider this, didn’t you?
You are enjoying your job, aren’t you?You are enjoying your job, aren’t you?
 It can be used positively to draw out and clarifyIt can be used positively to draw out and clarify
issues relevant to the counseling session.issues relevant to the counseling session.
 Over-using questions can have a negative impact onOver-using questions can have a negative impact on
the session.the session.
 Wrong types of questioning techniques, at theWrong types of questioning techniques, at the
wrong time, in the hands of an unskilledwrong time, in the hands of an unskilled
interviewer/ counselor, can cause unnecessaryinterviewer/ counselor, can cause unnecessary
discomfort and confusion to the client.discomfort and confusion to the client.
Leading QuestionsLeading Questions
Counseling InterventionsCounseling Interventions

A verbal response to client emotion.A verbal response to client emotion.
Purposes of a ReflectionPurposes of a Reflection
• Helps clientsHelps clients
• Feel understoodFeel understood
• Express more feelingsExpress more feelings
• Manage feelingsManage feelings
• Discriminate among various feelings.Discriminate among various feelings.

Though challenging and confronting are notThough challenging and confronting are not
associated with counseling, some timesassociated with counseling, some times
they are appropriate and even necessary.they are appropriate and even necessary.
CounseleeCounselee:: There is no one in thisThere is no one in this
organization that I can talk to at all.organization that I can talk to at all.
CounselorCounselor:: No one?No one?
CounseleeCounselee: I have always been a failure,: I have always been a failure,
never been any good at anything.never been any good at anything.
CounselorCounselor:: Always?Always?
ChallengingChallenging

 Interviewing involves the gathering of informationInterviewing involves the gathering of information
over a short period, usually one or two sessions.over a short period, usually one or two sessions.
 Five stage structure refers to Counseling-Five stage structure refers to Counseling-
1.1. Rapport/ StructuringRapport/ Structuring..
HelloHello
2.2. Data Gathering. DefiningData Gathering. Defining
the Problem andthe Problem and
Identifying Assets.Identifying Assets.
What’s the problem?What’s the problem?
Counseling InterviewCounseling InterviewCounselingSkillsCounselingSkills

3.3. Determining Outcomes. WhereDetermining Outcomes. Where
does the client want to go?does the client want to go?
What do you want to have happen?What do you want to have happen?
4.4. Generating Alternative Solutions.Generating Alternative Solutions.
What are we going to do about it?What are we going to do about it?
5.5. Generalization. Transfer ofGeneralization. Transfer of
learninglearning..
Will you do it?Will you do it?
Counseling InterviewCounseling Interview

angstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comWednesday, February 7, 2018Wednesday, February 7, 2018
QuestionsQuestions
AnswersAnswers
Wednesday, February 7, 2018

TThhaannkkWednesday, February 7, 2018tials of Counseling. Abosar Prokashana Sangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabi

Counseling Skills Required

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