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Psychosocial andPsychosocial and
EnvironmentalEnvironmental
ProblemsProblems
A psycho­social or environmentalA psycho­social or environmental
problem may be a negative life event, anproblem may be a negative life event, an
environmental difficulty or deficiency, aenvironmental difficulty or deficiency, a
familial or other interpersonal stress, anfamilial or other interpersonal stress, an
inadequacy of social support or personalinadequacy of social support or personal
resources, or other problem relating toresources, or other problem relating to
the context in which a person'sthe context in which a person's
difficulties have developeddifficulties have developed..
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Psychosocial andPsychosocial and
Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems
According to DSM­IV (TR) the problems are grouped togetherAccording to DSM­IV (TR) the problems are grouped together
in the following categoriesin the following categories­­
•Problems with primary support groupProblems with primary support group ­ e.g., death of­ e.g., death of
a family member; health problems in family;a family member; health problems in family;
disruption of family by separation, divorce, removaldisruption of family by separation, divorce, removal
from the home; remarriage of parent; sexual orfrom the home; remarriage of parent; sexual or
physical abuse; parental overprotection; neglect ofphysical abuse; parental overprotection; neglect of
child; inadequate discipline; discord with siblings;child; inadequate discipline; discord with siblings;
birth of a sibling.birth of a sibling.
•Problems related to the social environment­Problems related to the social environment­ e.g., deathe.g., death
or loss of friend; inadequate social support; livingor loss of friend; inadequate social support; living
alone; difficulty with acculturation; discrimination;alone; difficulty with acculturation; discrimination;
adjustment to life­cycle transition (such as retirement).adjustment to life­cycle transition (such as retirement).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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•Educational problemsEducational problems ­ e.g., illiteracy; academic­ e.g., illiteracy; academic
problems; discord with teachers or classmates;problems; discord with teachers or classmates;
inadequate school environment.inadequate school environment.
•Occupational problemsOccupational problems ­ e.g., unemployment; threat­ e.g., unemployment; threat
of job loss; stressful work schedule; difficult workof job loss; stressful work schedule; difficult work
conditions; job dissatisfaction; job change; discordconditions; job dissatisfaction; job change; discord
with boss or co­workers.with boss or co­workers.
•Housing problemsHousing problems ­ e.g., homelessness; inadequate­ e.g., homelessness; inadequate
housing; unsafe neighborhood; discord with neighborshousing; unsafe neighborhood; discord with neighbors
or landlord.or landlord.
•Economic problemsEconomic problems ­ e.g., extreme poverty;­ e.g., extreme poverty;
inadequate finances; insufficient welfare support.inadequate finances; insufficient welfare support.
Psychosocial andPsychosocial and
Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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•Problems with access to health care servicesProblems with access to health care services ­ e.g.,­ e.g.,
inadequate health care services; transportation toinadequate health care services; transportation to
health care facilities unavailable; inadequate healthhealth care facilities unavailable; inadequate health
insurance.insurance.
•Problems related to interaction with the legalProblems related to interaction with the legal
system/crimesystem/crime ­ e.g., arrest; litigation; victim of crime.­ e.g., arrest; litigation; victim of crime.
•Other psychosocial and environmental problemsOther psychosocial and environmental problems ­­
e.g., exposure to disasters, war, other hostilities;e.g., exposure to disasters, war, other hostilities;
discord with nonfamily caregivers such as counselor,discord with nonfamily caregivers such as counselor,
social worker, or physician; unavailability of socialsocial worker, or physician; unavailability of social
service agencies.service agencies.
Psychosocial andPsychosocial and
Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Anyone Can Be a VictimAnyone Can Be a Victim!!
Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion,Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion,
education, employment or marital status. Althougheducation, employment or marital status. Although
both men and women can be abused, most victims areboth men and women can be abused, most victims are
women. Children in homes where there is domesticwomen. Children in homes where there is domestic
violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected.violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected.
Most children in these homes know about the violence.Most children in these homes know about the violence.
Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may haveEven if a child is not physically harmed, they may have
emotional and behavior problemsemotional and behavior problems..
If you are being abused,If you are being abused, REMEMBERREMEMBER
•You are not alone.You are not alone.
•It is not your fault.It is not your fault.
•Help is available.Help is available. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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Domestic violence, also called intimateDomestic violence, also called intimate
partner violence, happens in many formspartner violence, happens in many forms
including physical, emotional andincluding physical, emotional and
economic violence, and can affect peopleeconomic violence, and can affect people
of any age. It does not have to be withinof any age. It does not have to be within
the home to be classified as domesticthe home to be classified as domestic
violence. It is a form of violence that canviolence. It is a form of violence that can
occur within any relationship (family oroccur within any relationship (family or
intimate partnerintimate partner).).
DOMESTIC VIOLENCEDOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Types of Intimate Partner ViolenceTypes of Intimate Partner Violence
Below are some of the forms that domestic violenceBelow are some of the forms that domestic violence
may takemay take––
•PhysicalPhysical ­­ If someone is hurting you, or threatening toIf someone is hurting you, or threatening to
hurt you, a loved one or a pet, then you will need tohurt you, a loved one or a pet, then you will need to
take some action.take some action.
•EmotionalEmotional ­ This form of violence is often­ This form of violence is often
unrecognized and can be very hurtful.unrecognized and can be very hurtful.
•EconomicEconomic ­ Having money and being able to make­ Having money and being able to make
decisions about it, is one means of being independent.decisions about it, is one means of being independent.
If someone is controlling your money, keeping youIf someone is controlling your money, keeping you
financially dependent, or making you ask for moneyfinancially dependent, or making you ask for money
unreasonably, then this is a form of violence.unreasonably, then this is a form of violence.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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Types of Intimate Partner ViolenceTypes of Intimate Partner Violence
••SocialSocial – Social violence occurs in relationships– Social violence occurs in relationships
that often include other forms of violence. Ifthat often include other forms of violence. If
someone is insulting you or teasing you in frontsomeone is insulting you or teasing you in front
of other people, keeping you isolated fromof other people, keeping you isolated from
family and friends, controlling what you do andfamily and friends, controlling what you do and
where you go, then they are being violent andwhere you go, then they are being violent and
you may need to take some actionyou may need to take some action..
•SpiritualSpiritual ­ This type of violence involves a­ This type of violence involves a
situation where you are not allowed to havesituation where you are not allowed to have
your own opinions about religion, culturalyour own opinions about religion, cultural
beliefs, and values, or your spirituality isbeliefs, and values, or your spirituality is
manipulated to keep you feeling powerless.manipulated to keep you feeling powerless.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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How can I keep myself safeHow can I keep myself safe??
At times we underestimate the amount ofAt times we underestimate the amount of
danger we are in, either because we don'tdanger we are in, either because we don't
realize or don't understand how dangerous arealize or don't understand how dangerous a
situation is. Part of an abuser’s control can besituation is. Part of an abuser’s control can be
minimizing the seriousness of what they areminimizing the seriousness of what they are
doing. Being safe is important and there aredoing. Being safe is important and there are
things you can do to ensure your safety.things you can do to ensure your safety.
Sometimes it is hard to work out the danger orSometimes it is hard to work out the danger or
risks you. Police, and the state and territoryrisks you. Police, and the state and territory
support lines can help you work out risks andsupport lines can help you work out risks and
how to stay safehow to stay safe.. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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Steps to ensure your safetySteps to ensure your safety­­
•Is there immediate danger?Is there immediate danger? How likely is it thatHow likely is it that
someone will hurt you? If necessary, you maysomeone will hurt you? If necessary, you may
have to move to somewhere safe.have to move to somewhere safe.
•Do you have support?Do you have support? Making a decision toMaking a decision to
leave a situation where you feel unsafe may beleave a situation where you feel unsafe may be
hard and scary. If possible, talk to someone youhard and scary. If possible, talk to someone you
trust, like a friend, counselor or youth worker.trust, like a friend, counselor or youth worker.
•Talk to the police:Talk to the police: If you feel unsafe the policeIf you feel unsafe the police
are good people to talk to. If you or someoneare good people to talk to. If you or someone
you know has been hurt, the police will be ableyou know has been hurt, the police will be able
to help.to help.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Steps to ensure your safetySteps to ensure your safety––
•Believe in yourself:Believe in yourself: If someone is hurting youIf someone is hurting you
or threatening to, it can be hard to maintainor threatening to, it can be hard to maintain
your self­confidence. Remember it is never okyour self­confidence. Remember it is never ok
for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you.for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you.
•Know your rights:Know your rights: It may be a good idea toIt may be a good idea to
check out your legal rights. Laws vary fromcheck out your legal rights. Laws vary from
state to state.state to state.
Helpful organizations:Helpful organizations: There are a range ofThere are a range of
organizations in every state and territory thatorganizations in every state and territory that
are available to help you.are available to help you.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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EMOTIONAL ABUSEEMOTIONAL ABUSE
Emotional abuse is when someone says or does something that makes you feelEmotional abuse is when someone says or does something that makes you feel
bad about yourself, or that hurts your feelings. If someone makes you scared,bad about yourself, or that hurts your feelings. If someone makes you scared,
sad or upset – that’s emotional abuse.sad or upset – that’s emotional abuse.
Some things that could be emotional abuse are ­Some things that could be emotional abuse are ­
•shouting at you or calling you namesshouting at you or calling you names
•putting you down or saying you aren’t good enoughputting you down or saying you aren’t good enough
•ignoring you, not talking to you or leaving you out of thingsignoring you, not talking to you or leaving you out of things
•saying or doing things that make you feel bad about yourselfsaying or doing things that make you feel bad about yourself
•pushing you away, not showing you affection or making you feel likepushing you away, not showing you affection or making you feel like
you don’t belong in the familyyou don’t belong in the family
•making you do things that you are not your responsibility, like caringmaking you do things that you are not your responsibility, like caring
for your brothers and sistersfor your brothers and sisters
•trying to control you or push you too hardtrying to control you or push you too hard
•treating you differently from your brothers or sisterstreating you differently from your brothers or sisters
•putting you in dangerous situations or making you see things that areputting you in dangerous situations or making you see things that are
distressing, like domestic violence or drug or alcohol misusedistressing, like domestic violence or drug or alcohol misuse
•stopping you from having friendsstopping you from having friendsBook Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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You may also be experiencing emotional abuse if someoneYou may also be experiencing emotional abuse if someone--
•Monitors what you're doing all the timeMonitors what you're doing all the time
•Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the timeUnfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time
•Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or familyPrevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
•Tries to stop you from going to work or schoolTries to stop you from going to work or school
•Gets angry in a way that is frightening to youGets angry in a way that is frightening to you
•Controls how you spend your moneyControls how you spend your money
•Humiliates you in front of othersHumiliates you in front of others
•Threatens to hurt you or people you care aboutThreatens to hurt you or people you care about
•Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with youThreatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you
•Says things like, “If I can't have you then no one can”.Says things like, “If I can't have you then no one can”.
•Decides things for you that you should decide (like what toDecides things for you that you should decide (like what to
wear or eat)wear or eat)
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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What to do if you are being emotionally abusedWhat to do if you are being emotionally abused
If you are being emotionally abused it can help to tell someone aboutIf you are being emotionally abused it can help to tell someone about
what is happening. We know this can be difficult and youwhat is happening. We know this can be difficult and you
might worry about what may happen or whether you will be believed.might worry about what may happen or whether you will be believed.
It is important to remember that what is happening is wrong and it isIt is important to remember that what is happening is wrong and it is
not your fault. Sometimes abusers can make you feel that what isnot your fault. Sometimes abusers can make you feel that what is
happening is your fault. They might say you wouldn't be believed orhappening is your fault. They might say you wouldn't be believed or
would get in trouble if you tell anyone. Often they say this to protectwould get in trouble if you tell anyone. Often they say this to protect
them because they know what they are doing is wrong.them because they know what they are doing is wrong.
If it's too difficult to tell someone you might find it easier to write aIf it's too difficult to tell someone you might find it easier to write a
letter to an adult you trust telling them about what is happening. Youletter to an adult you trust telling them about what is happening. You
could also keep a diary of the abuse, recording what has happenedcould also keep a diary of the abuse, recording what has happened
and when, and then show this to the adult you trust. This could be aand when, and then show this to the adult you trust. This could be a
family member, a friend, someone at school such as a teacher or afamily member, a friend, someone at school such as a teacher or a
school counselor. Some young people make the decision to contactschool counselor. Some young people make the decision to contact
social services so they can get help for themselves or their family. Ifsocial services so they can get help for themselves or their family. If
you’re thinking about this, remember you can come and talk to ayou’re thinking about this, remember you can come and talk to a
counselor about how you feel and what you want to happen.counselor about how you feel and what you want to happen.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Why do some people emotionally abuse othersWhy do some people emotionally abuse others??
There are lots of different reasons why a person mightThere are lots of different reasons why a person might
choose to abuse you emotionally and only the personchoose to abuse you emotionally and only the person
doing this would know why they are behaving in thisdoing this would know why they are behaving in this
way. Whatever their reasons, it’s definitely not OKway. Whatever their reasons, it’s definitely not OK
and certainly not your fault.and certainly not your fault.
Someone might not realize that what they are saying orSomeone might not realize that what they are saying or
doing is upsetting you, but this is still emotional abuse.doing is upsetting you, but this is still emotional abuse.
At other times, the person might be doing it on purposeAt other times, the person might be doing it on purpose
to hurt you in some way. The person doing it might tryto hurt you in some way. The person doing it might try
and frighten you, make you feel embarrassed or makeand frighten you, make you feel embarrassed or make
you feel bad about yourself in some way. Emotionalyou feel bad about yourself in some way. Emotional
abuse is never right and you shouldn’t have to put upabuse is never right and you shouldn’t have to put up
with it.with it. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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How can emotional abuse make you feelHow can emotional abuse make you feel??
Emotional abuse hurts people very deeply and canEmotional abuse hurts people very deeply and can
affect your whole live, your confidence and your self-affect your whole live, your confidence and your self-
esteem. You can be left feeling angry and upset and likeesteem. You can be left feeling angry and upset and like
you don’t matter. You might feel that you deserve to beyou don’t matter. You might feel that you deserve to be
treated in this way or are not good enough.treated in this way or are not good enough.
You can’t see the scars of emotional abuse and thisYou can’t see the scars of emotional abuse and this
sometimes makes it hard for people to express how theysometimes makes it hard for people to express how they
feel about it. You might start to self-harm or developfeel about it. You might start to self-harm or develop
problems with eating. This could be as a way of copingproblems with eating. This could be as a way of coping
with emotional abuse or to show the pain you’re goingwith emotional abuse or to show the pain you’re going
through inside. Being emotionally abused can leave youthrough inside. Being emotionally abused can leave you
feeling anxious, depressed and sometimes suicidal.feeling anxious, depressed and sometimes suicidal.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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What if no one believes meWhat if no one believes me
•It can feel like a big step to tell someone about what’sIt can feel like a big step to tell someone about what’s
happening and it can be difficult to explain whyhappening and it can be difficult to explain why
someone is making you feel bad. It might feel strangesomeone is making you feel bad. It might feel strange
or embarrassing to talk about it, but we are here toor embarrassing to talk about it, but we are here to
listen to you, and you can say anything you want tolisten to you, and you can say anything you want to
your counseloryour counselor..
No one is going to laugh at you or say they don'tNo one is going to laugh at you or say they don't
believe you. Counselor is a confidential place for youbelieve you. Counselor is a confidential place for you
to talk and if you are worried, why not look at ourto talk and if you are worried, why not look at our
confidentiality promise which explains more aboutconfidentiality promise which explains more about
why you can trust us.why you can trust us.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Verbal abuseVerbal abuse (also known as(also known as revilingreviling) is described as a) is described as a
negative defining statement told to the person or aboutnegative defining statement told to the person or about
the person or by withholding any response thusthe person or by withholding any response thus
defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn'tdefining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't
immediately apologize and indulge in a definingimmediately apologize and indulge in a defining
statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusivestatement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive
oneone..
Verbal abuse includes the followingVerbal abuse includes the following––
••countering • withholding • discounting • abusecountering • withholding • discounting • abuse
disguised as a joke • blocking and divertingdisguised as a joke • blocking and diverting • accusing• accusing
and blaming • judging and criticizing • undermining •and blaming • judging and criticizing • undermining •
threateningthreatening • name calling • chronic forgetting •• name calling • chronic forgetting •
ordering • denial of anger or abuse • abusive angerordering • denial of anger or abuse • abusive anger..
Verbal AbuseVerbal Abuse
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Characteristics of Verbal AbuseCharacteristics of Verbal Abuse
•Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature andVerbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and
abilities of the partner.abilities of the partner.
•Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name-Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name-
calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, evencalling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even
something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse issomething that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is
usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing tousually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to
the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, isthe partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is
even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control hereven more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control her
without her knowing.without her knowing.
•Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling.Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling.
•Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner's self-esteem graduallyVerbal abuse is insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually
diminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciouslydiminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciously
or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upsetor unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset
the abuser.the abuser.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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•Verbal abuse is unpredictable.Verbal abuse is unpredictable.
•Verbal abuse is not a side issue.Verbal abuse is not a side issue.
•Verbal abuse expresses a double message.Verbal abuse expresses a double message.
There is incongruence between the way theThere is incongruence between the way the
abuser speaks and his real feelings. Forabuser speaks and his real feelings. For
example, he may sound very sincere and honestexample, he may sound very sincere and honest
while he is telling his partner what is wrong withwhile he is telling his partner what is wrong with
her.her.
Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity,Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity,
frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may beginfrequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin
with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other formswith put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms
might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse maymight surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may
escalate into physical abuse, starting with "accidental"escalate into physical abuse, starting with "accidental"
shoves, pushes, and bumps.shoves, pushes, and bumps.
Characteristics of Verbal AbuseCharacteristics of Verbal Abuse
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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Categories of Verbal AbuseCategories of Verbal Abuse
•1.1. Verbal abuse isVerbal abuse is withholdingwithholding. A marriage requires. A marriage requires
intimacy, and intimacy requires empathy.intimacy, and intimacy requires empathy.
•2.2. CounteringCountering. This is the dominant response of the. This is the dominant response of the
verbal abuser who sees his partner as an adversary.verbal abuser who sees his partner as an adversary.
•3.3. DiscountingDiscounting..
•4. Sometimes verbal abuse is4. Sometimes verbal abuse is disguised as jokesdisguised as jokes..
•5.5. Blocking and divertingBlocking and diverting. The verbal abuser refuses to. The verbal abuser refuses to
communicate, establishes whatcommunicate, establishes what cancan be discussed, orbe discussed, or
withholds information.withholds information.
•6. Accusing and blaming6. Accusing and blaming is another form. A verbalis another form. A verbal
abuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing orabuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing or
some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship.some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship.
•7. Another form of verbal abuse is7. Another form of verbal abuse is judging andjudging and
criticizingcriticizing.. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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•••TrivializingTrivializing: It is an attempt to take: It is an attempt to take
something that is said or done and make itsomething that is said or done and make it
insignificantinsignificant..
•UnderminingUndermining: The abuser not only withholds: The abuser not only withholds
emotional support, but also erodes confidenceemotional support, but also erodes confidence
and determination. The abuser often willand determination. The abuser often will
squelch an idea or suggestion just by a singlesquelch an idea or suggestion just by a single
comment.comment.
•ThreateningThreatening is a classic form of verbal abuse.is a classic form of verbal abuse.
This may include threatening to leave orThis may include threatening to leave or
threatening to get a divorce. In some cases, thethreatening to get a divorce. In some cases, the
threat may be to escalate the abuse.threat may be to escalate the abuse.
Other Forms of Verbal AbuseOther Forms of Verbal Abuse
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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•Name-callingName-calling can also be verbal abuse. Continuallycan also be verbal abuse. Continually
calling someone "stupid" because she isn't ascalling someone "stupid" because she isn't as
intelligent as you.intelligent as you.
•Verbal abuse may also involveVerbal abuse may also involve forgettingforgetting. This may. This may
involve both overt and covert manipulation. Everyoneinvolve both overt and covert manipulation. Everyone
forgets things from time to time, but the verbal abuserforgets things from time to time, but the verbal abuser
consistently does so.consistently does so.
•OrderingOrdering is another classic form of verbal abuse. Itis another classic form of verbal abuse. It
denies the equality and autonomy of the partner.denies the equality and autonomy of the partner.
When an abuser gives orders instead of asking, heWhen an abuser gives orders instead of asking, he
treats her like a slave or subordinate.treats her like a slave or subordinate.
•DenialDenial is the last category of verbal abuse. Althoughis the last category of verbal abuse. Although
all forms of verbal abuse have serious consequences,all forms of verbal abuse have serious consequences,
denial can be very insidious because it denies thedenial can be very insidious because it denies the
reality of the partner.reality of the partner.
Other Forms of Verbal AbuseOther Forms of Verbal Abuse
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
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PHYSICAL ABUSEPHYSICAL ABUSE
Physical abuse is when someonePhysical abuse is when someone
deliberately hurts or injures you. Hitting,deliberately hurts or injures you. Hitting,
kicking, hair pulling, beating with objects,kicking, hair pulling, beating with objects,
throwing and shaking are all forms ofthrowing and shaking are all forms of
physical abuse, and can cause pain, cuts,physical abuse, and can cause pain, cuts,
bruising, broken bones and sometimes evenbruising, broken bones and sometimes even
death. No one has the right to hurt you indeath. No one has the right to hurt you in
this way. Physical abuse can happen as athis way. Physical abuse can happen as a
single event or over a longer period of time.single event or over a longer period of time.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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Who are the perpetratorsWho are the perpetrators??
•Perpetrators may be acquaintances, sons, daughtersPerpetrators may be acquaintances, sons, daughters,,
grandchildren, or others. Physical abuse that isgrandchildren, or others. Physical abuse that is
perpetrated by spouses or intimate partners in orderperpetrated by spouses or intimate partners in order
to gain power and control over the victim is describedto gain power and control over the victim is described
in the section on domestic violence. Perpetrators arein the section on domestic violence. Perpetrators are
likely to be unmarried, to live with their victims, andlikely to be unmarried, to live with their victims, and
to be unemployed. Some perpetrators have alcohol orto be unemployed. Some perpetrators have alcohol or
substance abuse problems. Some are caregivers forsubstance abuse problems. Some are caregivers for
those they abusethose they abuse..
•Who is at risk?Who is at risk?
As a group, victims of physical abuse do not differAs a group, victims of physical abuse do not differ
significantly from seniors who are not abused.significantly from seniors who are not abused.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
2525
•What are the indicatorsWhat are the indicators??
Physical indicatorsPhysical indicators
•Sprains, dislocations, fractures, or brokenSprains, dislocations, fractures, or broken
bonesbones
•Burns from cigarettes, appliances, or hotBurns from cigarettes, appliances, or hot
waterwater
•Abrasions on arms, legs, or torso thatAbrasions on arms, legs, or torso that
resemble rope or strap marksresemble rope or strap marks
•Internal injuries evidenced by pain, difficultyInternal injuries evidenced by pain, difficulty
with normal functioning of organs, andwith normal functioning of organs, and
bleeding from body orificesbleeding from body orifices
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
2626
•Behavioral indicatorsBehavioral indicators
•Injuries are unexplained or explanations areInjuries are unexplained or explanations are
implausible (they do not "fit" with the injuriesimplausible (they do not "fit" with the injuries
observed)observed)
•Family members provide differentFamily members provide different
explanations of how injuries were sustainedexplanations of how injuries were sustained
•A history of similar injuries, and/or numerousA history of similar injuries, and/or numerous
or suspicious hospitalizationsor suspicious hospitalizations
•Victims are brought to different medicalVictims are brought to different medical
facilities for treatment to prevent medicalfacilities for treatment to prevent medical
practitioners from observing a pattern of abusepractitioners from observing a pattern of abuse
•Delay between onset of injury and seekingDelay between onset of injury and seeking
medical care.medical care. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
2727
•How can physical abuse affect me?How can physical abuse affect me?
Experiencing physical abuse can leave youExperiencing physical abuse can leave you
feelingfeeling--
•• Fearful • Anxious • Lonely and isolated •Fearful • Anxious • Lonely and isolated •
Depressed and sad • Worthless with low self-Depressed and sad • Worthless with low self-
esteemesteem • Like you want to self-harm • Like you• Like you want to self-harm • Like you
want to run away • Unable to concentrate atwant to run away • Unable to concentrate at
school, eat or sleep properlyschool, eat or sleep properly
•Who could physically abuse meWho could physically abuse me??
Physical abuse can be carried out by adultsPhysical abuse can be carried out by adults
including your mum and dad as well as byincluding your mum and dad as well as by
other young people such as brothers, sisters,other young people such as brothers, sisters,
boyfriends or girlfriends.boyfriends or girlfriends.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
2828
•Why do some people physically abuse other peopleWhy do some people physically abuse other people??
This is a difficult question to answer as people who physicallyThis is a difficult question to answer as people who physically
abuse others may give different reasons as to why they hurtabuse others may give different reasons as to why they hurt
another person in this way. Sometimes, certain things mightanother person in this way. Sometimes, certain things might
trigger abuse such as alcohol or drug use.trigger abuse such as alcohol or drug use.
Physical abuse might also be happening alongside other typesPhysical abuse might also be happening alongside other types
of abuse such as-of abuse such as-
•Sexual abuseSexual abuse
•Emotional abuseEmotional abuse
•Domestic violenceDomestic violence
•Family relationship problemsFamily relationship problems
•Being in an abusive relationship with a girlfriend/boyfriendBeing in an abusive relationship with a girlfriend/boyfriend
There are no reasons that justify physical abuse. Abuse isThere are no reasons that justify physical abuse. Abuse is
wrong full stop.wrong full stop.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
2929
•I'm being physically abused, is it my faultI'm being physically abused, is it my fault??
No it’s not your fault. No one has the right toNo it’s not your fault. No one has the right to
hurt somebody else. If someone is hurting youhurt somebody else. If someone is hurting you
they are aware of what they are doing andthey are aware of what they are doing and
know it is wrong. They may say they haveknow it is wrong. They may say they have
reasons for doing this but none of those reasonsreasons for doing this but none of those reasons
are acceptable. The person who is hurting youare acceptable. The person who is hurting you
might tell you that it’s your fault, to stop youmight tell you that it’s your fault, to stop you
telling anyone about what is happening. It isn’ttelling anyone about what is happening. It isn’t
your fault. Everyone has the right to be safe.your fault. Everyone has the right to be safe.
No one has the right to hurt you. It shouldn’tNo one has the right to hurt you. It shouldn’t
happen and can be stopped.happen and can be stopped.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3030
•What should I do if I’m scared about beingWhat should I do if I’m scared about being
physically abusedphysically abused??
If you are being physically abused and feel youIf you are being physically abused and feel you
are in immediate danger, you can call theare in immediate danger, you can call the
police and they will come and check yourpolice and they will come and check your
safety. It is ok to get upset about beingsafety. It is ok to get upset about being
physically abused, and this is a naturalphysically abused, and this is a natural
reaction to any kind of abuse.reaction to any kind of abuse.
•You are not aloneYou are not alone
As well as speaking to a counselor; you canAs well as speaking to a counselor; you can
chat to other young people who might be inchat to other young people who might be in
similar situation to you.similar situation to you.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3131
How can I tell if someone is beingHow can I tell if someone is being
physically abusedphysically abused??
Physical abuse, like all types of abuse,Physical abuse, like all types of abuse,
affects people in different ways. If someoneaffects people in different ways. If someone
is being physically abused they might haveis being physically abused they might have
obvious signs such as bruises or cuts, butobvious signs such as bruises or cuts, but
these signs could also be hidden underthese signs could also be hidden under
clothes. They might be unusually quiet andclothes. They might be unusually quiet and
withdrawn, or they might lash out andwithdrawn, or they might lash out and
become angry or violent.become angry or violent.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3232
•I’m worried that my friend is being physically abused,I’m worried that my friend is being physically abused,
what should I dowhat should I do??
If you are worried about someone and think they mightIf you are worried about someone and think they might
be being physically abused, you could try to talk tobe being physically abused, you could try to talk to
them, in private, about the problem. It’s important tothem, in private, about the problem. It’s important to
let them know you are there for them and listen to themlet them know you are there for them and listen to them
if they want to talk. You could encourage them to if theyif they want to talk. You could encourage them to if they
don’t know who to talk to. If they are in trouble, ordon’t know who to talk to. If they are in trouble, or
someone is hurting them, then you could tell someonesomeone is hurting them, then you could tell someone
you trust about it. You could talk to an adult you trustyou trust about it. You could talk to an adult you trust
like a teacher or a friend's parent. If you don’t knowlike a teacher or a friend's parent. If you don’t know
who to talk to, you can always talk to counselor. We arewho to talk to, you can always talk to counselor. We are
here for you if you are worried about a friend beinghere for you if you are worried about a friend being
physically abused. Get help and advice on helping aphysically abused. Get help and advice on helping a
friend.friend. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3333
What will happen if I tell someone about the physical abuseWhat will happen if I tell someone about the physical abuse??
It’s important that you try and tell somebody if you or a friend isIt’s important that you try and tell somebody if you or a friend is
being abused.being abused.
-Telling somebody you trust can-Telling somebody you trust can
- Make the abuse stop- Make the abuse stop
- Help you to start living a happier life free from harm- Help you to start living a happier life free from harm
- Protect other children and young people.- Protect other children and young people.
..
•I’m scared I’ll make things worse if I tell someone…I’m scared I’ll make things worse if I tell someone…
Living with somebody who is physically abusing you is a scaryLiving with somebody who is physically abusing you is a scary
situation to be in. You might be worried about-situation to be in. You might be worried about-
- When the next incident of abuse or argument will start- When the next incident of abuse or argument will start
- A younger sibling or another parent being a victim- A younger sibling or another parent being a victim
- Parents/carers getting away with it /the abuse continuing- Parents/carers getting away with it /the abuse continuing
- Friends or neighbors finding out- Friends or neighbors finding out
- The thought of living in care/where you will live- The thought of living in care/where you will live
- Parents/carers getting into trouble if you tell someone.- Parents/carers getting into trouble if you tell someone.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3434
Will my parents/careers get into trouble if I tell on themWill my parents/careers get into trouble if I tell on them??
If your parents are being physically abusive towards you, youIf your parents are being physically abusive towards you, you
might be finding it hard to tell somebody. It is not unusual tomight be finding it hard to tell somebody. It is not unusual to
like or even love the person that is abusing you even thoughlike or even love the person that is abusing you even though
you don’t like what they are doing, especially if the person isyou don’t like what they are doing, especially if the person is
your mum or dad. The abuse might also only happen onyour mum or dad. The abuse might also only happen on
certain occasions for example, when a parent/carer has beencertain occasions for example, when a parent/carer has been
drinking.drinking.
Get information and advice on parents who drink.Get information and advice on parents who drink.
No matter how often it happens or in what circumstances,No matter how often it happens or in what circumstances,
what they are doing is wrong. It is not your fault and if left towhat they are doing is wrong. It is not your fault and if left to
continue can affect your future happiness and so it needs tocontinue can affect your future happiness and so it needs to
stop. It is their responsibility to keep you safe from harm andstop. It is their responsibility to keep you safe from harm and
if your parents/carers are hurting you, then it’s important thatif your parents/carers are hurting you, then it’s important that
you try and tell someone about it. You are not alone – there areyou try and tell someone about it. You are not alone – there are
people who care about you and can help.people who care about you and can help.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3535
Who can I talk to about physical abuseWho can I talk to about physical abuse??
Talking about abuse can be difficult. WhenTalking about abuse can be difficult. When
you’re ready to tell someone, it might help toyou’re ready to tell someone, it might help to
write down what you want to say first or put itwrite down what you want to say first or put it
in a letter. Try and choose a person you feelin a letter. Try and choose a person you feel
comfortable with and who you think you cancomfortable with and who you think you can
trust. If the abuse is happening at home, youtrust. If the abuse is happening at home, you
might want to talk to somebody outside of themight want to talk to somebody outside of the
family such as a teacher or doctor.family such as a teacher or doctor.
You might want to talk to a-You might want to talk to a-
- Parent/carer - Grandparent - Friend -- Parent/carer - Grandparent - Friend -
Friend’s parent - Teacher - School nurse –Friend’s parent - Teacher - School nurse –
Doctor - Youth worker - Counselor.Doctor - Youth worker - Counselor.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3636
SEXUAL ABUSESEXUAL ABUSE
Sexual abuseSexual abuse, also referred to as, also referred to as molestationmolestation, is the forcing of, is the forcing of
undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another.undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another.
There are many types of sexual abuse, includingThere are many types of sexual abuse, including--
•Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior (rape and sexualNon-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior (rape and sexual
assault).assault).
•Unwanted touching, either of a child or an adult.Unwanted touching, either of a child or an adult.
•Sexual kissing, fondling, exposure of genitalia, and voyeurism,Sexual kissing, fondling, exposure of genitalia, and voyeurism,
exhibitionism and up to sexual assault.exhibitionism and up to sexual assault.
•Exposing a child to pornography.Exposing a child to pornography.
•Saying sexually suggestive statements towards a child (childSaying sexually suggestive statements towards a child (child
molestation).molestation).
•Also applies to non-consensual verbal sexual demands towards anAlso applies to non-consensual verbal sexual demands towards an
adult.adult.
•The use of a position of trust to compel otherwise unwanted sexualThe use of a position of trust to compel otherwise unwanted sexual
activity without physical force (or can lead to attempted rape oractivity without physical force (or can lead to attempted rape or
sexual assault).sexual assault).
•Incest.Incest.
•
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3737
••Spousal sexual abuseSpousal sexual abuse
•Positions of power (Power harassment and Rankism)Positions of power (Power harassment and Rankism)
•Child sexual abuseChild sexual abuse
•Sexual abuse of people with developmental disabilitiesSexual abuse of people with developmental disabilities
•Among animalsAmong animals
•SurvivorSurvivor
•Sexual abuse and minoritiesSexual abuse and minorities
Often, sexual assault on a child is not reported by the childOften, sexual assault on a child is not reported by the child
for several reasonsfor several reasons--
•children are too young to recognize their victimization orchildren are too young to recognize their victimization or
put it into wordsput it into words
•they were threatened or bribed by the abuserthey were threatened or bribed by the abuser
•they feel confused by fearing the abuser but liking thethey feel confused by fearing the abuser but liking the
attentionattention
•they are afraid no one will believe themthey are afraid no one will believe them
•they blame themselves or believe the abuse is a punishmentthey blame themselves or believe the abuse is a punishment
•they feel guilty for consequences to the perpetratorthey feel guilty for consequences to the perpetrator
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3838
PreventionPrevention
•Green DotGreen Dot
•Bring in the BystanderBring in the Bystander
•Mentors in ViolenceMentors in Violence
•Prevention (MVP)Prevention (MVP)
•The Men's ProgramThe Men's Program
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
3939
What You Can DoWhat You Can Do
•Open Up! Writing About Trauma ReducesOpen Up! Writing About Trauma Reduces
Stress, Aids ImmunityStress, Aids Immunity
•Managing traumatic stress: Tips for recoveringManaging traumatic stress: Tips for recovering
from disasters and other traumatic eventsfrom disasters and other traumatic events
•Understanding Child Sexual AbuseUnderstanding Child Sexual Abuse
•Child sexual abuse: What parents should knowChild sexual abuse: What parents should know
Getting HelpGetting Help
•Find a PsychologistFind a Psychologist
•The Effects of Trauma Do Not Have to Last aThe Effects of Trauma Do Not Have to Last a
LifetimeLifetime
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4040
Rape Trauma SyndromeRape Trauma Syndrome
•Immediate PhaseImmediate Phase:: DISORGANIZATIONDISORGANIZATION
Reactions following the immediate impact stage include:Reactions following the immediate impact stage include:
•Emotional reactionsEmotional reactions—the primary emotional response of a victim—the primary emotional response of a victim
is fear of physical injury, mutilation or death. Other emotions canis fear of physical injury, mutilation or death. Other emotions can
include humiliation, shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger orinclude humiliation, shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger or
helplessness.helplessness.
•Physical reactionsPhysical reactions—can include loss or increase of appetite, sleep—can include loss or increase of appetite, sleep
disturbances, nausea or a general feeling of soreness.disturbances, nausea or a general feeling of soreness.
•Social responsesSocial responses—victims can become less communicative and—victims can become less communicative and
socially unsure. Many will socially and physically isolatesocially unsure. Many will socially and physically isolate
themselves.themselves.
•Sexual disturbancesSexual disturbances—victims tend to experience a general—victims tend to experience a general
dissatisfaction of varying degrees in sexual relations, while othersdissatisfaction of varying degrees in sexual relations, while others
become more sexually active than they were before the sexualbecome more sexually active than they were before the sexual
abuse.abuse.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4141
Rape Trauma SyndromeRape Trauma Syndrome
Long Term Phase: REORGANIZATIONLong Term Phase: REORGANIZATION
The Reorganization Phase: (when the victim is attempting to continue with life after the rape)The Reorganization Phase: (when the victim is attempting to continue with life after the rape)
•Psychological reactionsPsychological reactions
•Nightmares can be a reenactment of the assault or of gaining control of the assault by harming theNightmares can be a reenactment of the assault or of gaining control of the assault by harming the
perpetrator.perpetrator.
•Phobias can develop around things associated with the assault-strong emotional and/or physicalPhobias can develop around things associated with the assault-strong emotional and/or physical
reactions to a smell, location, physical feature, situation, etc.reactions to a smell, location, physical feature, situation, etc.
•Paranoia that people know about the assault or that the perpetrator will try to harm the victimParanoia that people know about the assault or that the perpetrator will try to harm the victim
again can develop.again can develop.
•Compulsive habits—excessive showering, cleaning, hand washing, etc.-can give the victim a senseCompulsive habits—excessive showering, cleaning, hand washing, etc.-can give the victim a sense
of control when s/he feels a loss of control due to the assault.of control when s/he feels a loss of control due to the assault.
•Physical problemsPhysical problems—include gynecological problems, backaches, urinary infections and migraines.—include gynecological problems, backaches, urinary infections and migraines.
Eating and sleeping problems can persist.Eating and sleeping problems can persist.
•Social responsesSocial responses—social isolation may persist as a long-term effect of the assault. Tension among—social isolation may persist as a long-term effect of the assault. Tension among
the victim and family, friends and significant others may occur depending on how these individualsthe victim and family, friends and significant others may occur depending on how these individuals
react to the assault.react to the assault.
•Sexual relationshipsSexual relationships—some victims may fear or avoid sex or romantic relationships while others—some victims may fear or avoid sex or romantic relationships while others
become promiscuous.become promiscuous.
•Finally, some victims may develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder thatFinally, some victims may develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder that
can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred orcan develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or
was threatened.was threatened.
•Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSDPost Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): •Fear •Anxiety •Flashbacks •Reoccurring): •Fear •Anxiety •Flashbacks •Reoccurring
memories/nightmares of the event •Difficulty in concentrating •Irritation •Isolation •Emotionalmemories/nightmares of the event •Difficulty in concentrating •Irritation •Isolation •Emotional
numbness •Depressionnumbness •Depression
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4242
Factors influencing recovery includeFactors influencing recovery include
�� support systemssupport systems �� relationship with offenderrelationship with offender �� degree of violencedegree of violence
�� type of sexual violencetype of sexual violence �� perception of the abuseperception of the abuse
•Talking PointsTalking Points
••Bullet 1Bullet 1: A victim's support system plays a huge role in recovery. The ideal: A victim's support system plays a huge role in recovery. The ideal
situation occurs when a victim has a strong support system in family,situation occurs when a victim has a strong support system in family,
friends and/or a significant other that validates the victim’s trauma andfriends and/or a significant other that validates the victim’s trauma and
encourages recovery. Victims may have no support system or a supportencourages recovery. Victims may have no support system or a support
system that ignores the abuse or blames them—both of which cansystem that ignores the abuse or blames them—both of which can
negatively affect recovery.negatively affect recovery.
••Bullet 2Bullet 2: If the offender is a stranger, it is easier for the victim to blame the: If the offender is a stranger, it is easier for the victim to blame the
perpetrator. If trust has been established between the perpetrator and theperpetrator. If trust has been established between the perpetrator and the
victim, the effects of abuse may be more profound. Example: Imagine thevictim, the effects of abuse may be more profound. Example: Imagine the
difference between being raped by a stranger in the bushes versus beingdifference between being raped by a stranger in the bushes versus being
raped by your father. Which would be more difficult to deal with?raped by your father. Which would be more difficult to deal with?
••Bullet 3Bullet 3: The degree of violence affects both physical and emotional recovery. A: The degree of violence affects both physical and emotional recovery. A
violence rape may require a longer hospital stay and possible permanentviolence rape may require a longer hospital stay and possible permanent
damage, and/or lead to increased fear and paranoia for the victim.damage, and/or lead to increased fear and paranoia for the victim.
••Bullet 4Bullet 4: Forced genital, oral, anal or digital penetration may affect victims: Forced genital, oral, anal or digital penetration may affect victims
differently from sexual harassment or forced touching. At the same time,differently from sexual harassment or forced touching. At the same time,
any form of sexual violence can have serious affects on a victim.any form of sexual violence can have serious affects on a victim.
••Bullet 5Bullet 5: How the victim experienced the abuse- as a life threatening experience,: How the victim experienced the abuse- as a life threatening experience,
as a violation of trust- affects recovery.as a violation of trust- affects recovery.
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4343
Factors influencing recovery includeFactors influencing recovery include
�� social/cultural influencessocial/cultural influences �� previous experiences with stressprevious experiences with stress
�� success in coping with previous crisessuccess in coping with previous crises �� immediate contactsimmediate contacts
after abuse.after abuse.
Talking PointsTalking Points
••Bullet 1:Bullet 1: How the victim views sex, rape, sexuality and pre-How the victim views sex, rape, sexuality and pre-
martial or unmarried sex can all affect recovery.martial or unmarried sex can all affect recovery.
••Bullet 2 and 3:Bullet 2 and 3: If the victim has coping skills for dealing withIf the victim has coping skills for dealing with
the stress of trauma, recovery can be an easier process. Athe stress of trauma, recovery can be an easier process. A
victim may also have past experiences with sexualvictim may also have past experiences with sexual
violence,violence, and a recent attack can trigger flashbacks.and a recent attack can trigger flashbacks.
••Bullet 4:Bullet 4: The first contact after the assault, during theThe first contact after the assault, during the
disorganization phase, can influence how the victimdisorganization phase, can influence how the victim perceivesperceives
the assault. Example: If the victim runs to athe assault. Example: If the victim runs to a police officerpolice officer
after the assault for help and he tells herafter the assault for help and he tells her “What do you expect,“What do you expect,
with that skirt on?,” the victim’swith that skirt on?,” the victim’s recovery will be affectedrecovery will be affected
negatively.negatively. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4444
Good Key PhrasesGood Key Phrases
•““I believe you.”I believe you.”
•““I’m sorry this happened to you.”I’m sorry this happened to you.”
•““It is not your fault.”It is not your fault.”
•““I’m glad you’re alive.”I’m glad you’re alive.”
•““You did the best you could.”You did the best you could.”
•““You have options.”You have options.”
Talking PointsTalking Points
These are good phrases for validating victims’ feelings andThese are good phrases for validating victims’ feelings and
allowing them to feel cared for and believed.allowing them to feel cared for and believed.
Do NotDo Not
••Promise what you cannot deliver.Promise what you cannot deliver.
••Say ”I understand.”Say ”I understand.”
••Blame the victim.Blame the victim.
••Give advice.Give advice.
*Note: Even if you are a survivor and understand being a victim*Note: Even if you are a survivor and understand being a victim
of sexual violence, each individual’s experience is different.of sexual violence, each individual’s experience is different.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4545
Thank YouThank You
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar
4646

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Psychosocial and Environmental Problems

  • 1. Psychosocial andPsychosocial and EnvironmentalEnvironmental ProblemsProblems A psycho­social or environmentalA psycho­social or environmental problem may be a negative life event, anproblem may be a negative life event, an environmental difficulty or deficiency, aenvironmental difficulty or deficiency, a familial or other interpersonal stress, anfamilial or other interpersonal stress, an inadequacy of social support or personalinadequacy of social support or personal resources, or other problem relating toresources, or other problem relating to the context in which a person'sthe context in which a person's difficulties have developeddifficulties have developed.. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 11
  • 2. Psychosocial andPsychosocial and Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems According to DSM­IV (TR) the problems are grouped togetherAccording to DSM­IV (TR) the problems are grouped together in the following categoriesin the following categories­­ •Problems with primary support groupProblems with primary support group ­ e.g., death of­ e.g., death of a family member; health problems in family;a family member; health problems in family; disruption of family by separation, divorce, removaldisruption of family by separation, divorce, removal from the home; remarriage of parent; sexual orfrom the home; remarriage of parent; sexual or physical abuse; parental overprotection; neglect ofphysical abuse; parental overprotection; neglect of child; inadequate discipline; discord with siblings;child; inadequate discipline; discord with siblings; birth of a sibling.birth of a sibling. •Problems related to the social environment­Problems related to the social environment­ e.g., deathe.g., death or loss of friend; inadequate social support; livingor loss of friend; inadequate social support; living alone; difficulty with acculturation; discrimination;alone; difficulty with acculturation; discrimination; adjustment to life­cycle transition (such as retirement).adjustment to life­cycle transition (such as retirement).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 22
  • 3. •Educational problemsEducational problems ­ e.g., illiteracy; academic­ e.g., illiteracy; academic problems; discord with teachers or classmates;problems; discord with teachers or classmates; inadequate school environment.inadequate school environment. •Occupational problemsOccupational problems ­ e.g., unemployment; threat­ e.g., unemployment; threat of job loss; stressful work schedule; difficult workof job loss; stressful work schedule; difficult work conditions; job dissatisfaction; job change; discordconditions; job dissatisfaction; job change; discord with boss or co­workers.with boss or co­workers. •Housing problemsHousing problems ­ e.g., homelessness; inadequate­ e.g., homelessness; inadequate housing; unsafe neighborhood; discord with neighborshousing; unsafe neighborhood; discord with neighbors or landlord.or landlord. •Economic problemsEconomic problems ­ e.g., extreme poverty;­ e.g., extreme poverty; inadequate finances; insufficient welfare support.inadequate finances; insufficient welfare support. Psychosocial andPsychosocial and Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 33
  • 4. •Problems with access to health care servicesProblems with access to health care services ­ e.g.,­ e.g., inadequate health care services; transportation toinadequate health care services; transportation to health care facilities unavailable; inadequate healthhealth care facilities unavailable; inadequate health insurance.insurance. •Problems related to interaction with the legalProblems related to interaction with the legal system/crimesystem/crime ­ e.g., arrest; litigation; victim of crime.­ e.g., arrest; litigation; victim of crime. •Other psychosocial and environmental problemsOther psychosocial and environmental problems ­­ e.g., exposure to disasters, war, other hostilities;e.g., exposure to disasters, war, other hostilities; discord with nonfamily caregivers such as counselor,discord with nonfamily caregivers such as counselor, social worker, or physician; unavailability of socialsocial worker, or physician; unavailability of social service agencies.service agencies. Psychosocial andPsychosocial and Environmental ProblemsEnvironmental Problems Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 44
  • 5. Anyone Can Be a VictimAnyone Can Be a Victim!! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion,Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Althougheducation, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims areboth men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domesticwomen. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected.violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence.Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may haveEven if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problemsemotional and behavior problems.. If you are being abused,If you are being abused, REMEMBERREMEMBER •You are not alone.You are not alone. •It is not your fault.It is not your fault. •Help is available.Help is available. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 55
  • 6. Domestic violence, also called intimateDomestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, happens in many formspartner violence, happens in many forms including physical, emotional andincluding physical, emotional and economic violence, and can affect peopleeconomic violence, and can affect people of any age. It does not have to be withinof any age. It does not have to be within the home to be classified as domesticthe home to be classified as domestic violence. It is a form of violence that canviolence. It is a form of violence that can occur within any relationship (family oroccur within any relationship (family or intimate partnerintimate partner).). DOMESTIC VIOLENCEDOMESTIC VIOLENCE Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 66
  • 7. Types of Intimate Partner ViolenceTypes of Intimate Partner Violence Below are some of the forms that domestic violenceBelow are some of the forms that domestic violence may takemay take–– •PhysicalPhysical ­­ If someone is hurting you, or threatening toIf someone is hurting you, or threatening to hurt you, a loved one or a pet, then you will need tohurt you, a loved one or a pet, then you will need to take some action.take some action. •EmotionalEmotional ­ This form of violence is often­ This form of violence is often unrecognized and can be very hurtful.unrecognized and can be very hurtful. •EconomicEconomic ­ Having money and being able to make­ Having money and being able to make decisions about it, is one means of being independent.decisions about it, is one means of being independent. If someone is controlling your money, keeping youIf someone is controlling your money, keeping you financially dependent, or making you ask for moneyfinancially dependent, or making you ask for money unreasonably, then this is a form of violence.unreasonably, then this is a form of violence. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 77
  • 8. Types of Intimate Partner ViolenceTypes of Intimate Partner Violence ••SocialSocial – Social violence occurs in relationships– Social violence occurs in relationships that often include other forms of violence. Ifthat often include other forms of violence. If someone is insulting you or teasing you in frontsomeone is insulting you or teasing you in front of other people, keeping you isolated fromof other people, keeping you isolated from family and friends, controlling what you do andfamily and friends, controlling what you do and where you go, then they are being violent andwhere you go, then they are being violent and you may need to take some actionyou may need to take some action.. •SpiritualSpiritual ­ This type of violence involves a­ This type of violence involves a situation where you are not allowed to havesituation where you are not allowed to have your own opinions about religion, culturalyour own opinions about religion, cultural beliefs, and values, or your spirituality isbeliefs, and values, or your spirituality is manipulated to keep you feeling powerless.manipulated to keep you feeling powerless.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 88
  • 9. How can I keep myself safeHow can I keep myself safe?? At times we underestimate the amount ofAt times we underestimate the amount of danger we are in, either because we don'tdanger we are in, either because we don't realize or don't understand how dangerous arealize or don't understand how dangerous a situation is. Part of an abuser’s control can besituation is. Part of an abuser’s control can be minimizing the seriousness of what they areminimizing the seriousness of what they are doing. Being safe is important and there aredoing. Being safe is important and there are things you can do to ensure your safety.things you can do to ensure your safety. Sometimes it is hard to work out the danger orSometimes it is hard to work out the danger or risks you. Police, and the state and territoryrisks you. Police, and the state and territory support lines can help you work out risks andsupport lines can help you work out risks and how to stay safehow to stay safe.. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 99
  • 10. Steps to ensure your safetySteps to ensure your safety­­ •Is there immediate danger?Is there immediate danger? How likely is it thatHow likely is it that someone will hurt you? If necessary, you maysomeone will hurt you? If necessary, you may have to move to somewhere safe.have to move to somewhere safe. •Do you have support?Do you have support? Making a decision toMaking a decision to leave a situation where you feel unsafe may beleave a situation where you feel unsafe may be hard and scary. If possible, talk to someone youhard and scary. If possible, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, counselor or youth worker.trust, like a friend, counselor or youth worker. •Talk to the police:Talk to the police: If you feel unsafe the policeIf you feel unsafe the police are good people to talk to. If you or someoneare good people to talk to. If you or someone you know has been hurt, the police will be ableyou know has been hurt, the police will be able to help.to help. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1010
  • 11. Steps to ensure your safetySteps to ensure your safety–– •Believe in yourself:Believe in yourself: If someone is hurting youIf someone is hurting you or threatening to, it can be hard to maintainor threatening to, it can be hard to maintain your self­confidence. Remember it is never okyour self­confidence. Remember it is never ok for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you.for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you. •Know your rights:Know your rights: It may be a good idea toIt may be a good idea to check out your legal rights. Laws vary fromcheck out your legal rights. Laws vary from state to state.state to state. Helpful organizations:Helpful organizations: There are a range ofThere are a range of organizations in every state and territory thatorganizations in every state and territory that are available to help you.are available to help you. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1111
  • 12. EMOTIONAL ABUSEEMOTIONAL ABUSE Emotional abuse is when someone says or does something that makes you feelEmotional abuse is when someone says or does something that makes you feel bad about yourself, or that hurts your feelings. If someone makes you scared,bad about yourself, or that hurts your feelings. If someone makes you scared, sad or upset – that’s emotional abuse.sad or upset – that’s emotional abuse. Some things that could be emotional abuse are ­Some things that could be emotional abuse are ­ •shouting at you or calling you namesshouting at you or calling you names •putting you down or saying you aren’t good enoughputting you down or saying you aren’t good enough •ignoring you, not talking to you or leaving you out of thingsignoring you, not talking to you or leaving you out of things •saying or doing things that make you feel bad about yourselfsaying or doing things that make you feel bad about yourself •pushing you away, not showing you affection or making you feel likepushing you away, not showing you affection or making you feel like you don’t belong in the familyyou don’t belong in the family •making you do things that you are not your responsibility, like caringmaking you do things that you are not your responsibility, like caring for your brothers and sistersfor your brothers and sisters •trying to control you or push you too hardtrying to control you or push you too hard •treating you differently from your brothers or sisterstreating you differently from your brothers or sisters •putting you in dangerous situations or making you see things that areputting you in dangerous situations or making you see things that are distressing, like domestic violence or drug or alcohol misusedistressing, like domestic violence or drug or alcohol misuse •stopping you from having friendsstopping you from having friendsBook Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1212
  • 13. You may also be experiencing emotional abuse if someoneYou may also be experiencing emotional abuse if someone-- •Monitors what you're doing all the timeMonitors what you're doing all the time •Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the timeUnfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time •Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or familyPrevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family •Tries to stop you from going to work or schoolTries to stop you from going to work or school •Gets angry in a way that is frightening to youGets angry in a way that is frightening to you •Controls how you spend your moneyControls how you spend your money •Humiliates you in front of othersHumiliates you in front of others •Threatens to hurt you or people you care aboutThreatens to hurt you or people you care about •Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with youThreatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you •Says things like, “If I can't have you then no one can”.Says things like, “If I can't have you then no one can”. •Decides things for you that you should decide (like what toDecides things for you that you should decide (like what to wear or eat)wear or eat) Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1313
  • 14. What to do if you are being emotionally abusedWhat to do if you are being emotionally abused If you are being emotionally abused it can help to tell someone aboutIf you are being emotionally abused it can help to tell someone about what is happening. We know this can be difficult and youwhat is happening. We know this can be difficult and you might worry about what may happen or whether you will be believed.might worry about what may happen or whether you will be believed. It is important to remember that what is happening is wrong and it isIt is important to remember that what is happening is wrong and it is not your fault. Sometimes abusers can make you feel that what isnot your fault. Sometimes abusers can make you feel that what is happening is your fault. They might say you wouldn't be believed orhappening is your fault. They might say you wouldn't be believed or would get in trouble if you tell anyone. Often they say this to protectwould get in trouble if you tell anyone. Often they say this to protect them because they know what they are doing is wrong.them because they know what they are doing is wrong. If it's too difficult to tell someone you might find it easier to write aIf it's too difficult to tell someone you might find it easier to write a letter to an adult you trust telling them about what is happening. Youletter to an adult you trust telling them about what is happening. You could also keep a diary of the abuse, recording what has happenedcould also keep a diary of the abuse, recording what has happened and when, and then show this to the adult you trust. This could be aand when, and then show this to the adult you trust. This could be a family member, a friend, someone at school such as a teacher or afamily member, a friend, someone at school such as a teacher or a school counselor. Some young people make the decision to contactschool counselor. Some young people make the decision to contact social services so they can get help for themselves or their family. Ifsocial services so they can get help for themselves or their family. If you’re thinking about this, remember you can come and talk to ayou’re thinking about this, remember you can come and talk to a counselor about how you feel and what you want to happen.counselor about how you feel and what you want to happen.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1414
  • 15. Why do some people emotionally abuse othersWhy do some people emotionally abuse others?? There are lots of different reasons why a person mightThere are lots of different reasons why a person might choose to abuse you emotionally and only the personchoose to abuse you emotionally and only the person doing this would know why they are behaving in thisdoing this would know why they are behaving in this way. Whatever their reasons, it’s definitely not OKway. Whatever their reasons, it’s definitely not OK and certainly not your fault.and certainly not your fault. Someone might not realize that what they are saying orSomeone might not realize that what they are saying or doing is upsetting you, but this is still emotional abuse.doing is upsetting you, but this is still emotional abuse. At other times, the person might be doing it on purposeAt other times, the person might be doing it on purpose to hurt you in some way. The person doing it might tryto hurt you in some way. The person doing it might try and frighten you, make you feel embarrassed or makeand frighten you, make you feel embarrassed or make you feel bad about yourself in some way. Emotionalyou feel bad about yourself in some way. Emotional abuse is never right and you shouldn’t have to put upabuse is never right and you shouldn’t have to put up with it.with it. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1515
  • 16. How can emotional abuse make you feelHow can emotional abuse make you feel?? Emotional abuse hurts people very deeply and canEmotional abuse hurts people very deeply and can affect your whole live, your confidence and your self-affect your whole live, your confidence and your self- esteem. You can be left feeling angry and upset and likeesteem. You can be left feeling angry and upset and like you don’t matter. You might feel that you deserve to beyou don’t matter. You might feel that you deserve to be treated in this way or are not good enough.treated in this way or are not good enough. You can’t see the scars of emotional abuse and thisYou can’t see the scars of emotional abuse and this sometimes makes it hard for people to express how theysometimes makes it hard for people to express how they feel about it. You might start to self-harm or developfeel about it. You might start to self-harm or develop problems with eating. This could be as a way of copingproblems with eating. This could be as a way of coping with emotional abuse or to show the pain you’re goingwith emotional abuse or to show the pain you’re going through inside. Being emotionally abused can leave youthrough inside. Being emotionally abused can leave you feeling anxious, depressed and sometimes suicidal.feeling anxious, depressed and sometimes suicidal. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1616
  • 17. What if no one believes meWhat if no one believes me •It can feel like a big step to tell someone about what’sIt can feel like a big step to tell someone about what’s happening and it can be difficult to explain whyhappening and it can be difficult to explain why someone is making you feel bad. It might feel strangesomeone is making you feel bad. It might feel strange or embarrassing to talk about it, but we are here toor embarrassing to talk about it, but we are here to listen to you, and you can say anything you want tolisten to you, and you can say anything you want to your counseloryour counselor.. No one is going to laugh at you or say they don'tNo one is going to laugh at you or say they don't believe you. Counselor is a confidential place for youbelieve you. Counselor is a confidential place for you to talk and if you are worried, why not look at ourto talk and if you are worried, why not look at our confidentiality promise which explains more aboutconfidentiality promise which explains more about why you can trust us.why you can trust us. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1717
  • 18. Verbal abuseVerbal abuse (also known as(also known as revilingreviling) is described as a) is described as a negative defining statement told to the person or aboutnegative defining statement told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response thusthe person or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn'tdefining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and indulge in a definingimmediately apologize and indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusivestatement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive oneone.. Verbal abuse includes the followingVerbal abuse includes the following–– ••countering • withholding • discounting • abusecountering • withholding • discounting • abuse disguised as a joke • blocking and divertingdisguised as a joke • blocking and diverting • accusing• accusing and blaming • judging and criticizing • undermining •and blaming • judging and criticizing • undermining • threateningthreatening • name calling • chronic forgetting •• name calling • chronic forgetting • ordering • denial of anger or abuse • abusive angerordering • denial of anger or abuse • abusive anger.. Verbal AbuseVerbal Abuse Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1818
  • 19. Characteristics of Verbal AbuseCharacteristics of Verbal Abuse •Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature andVerbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner.abilities of the partner. •Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name-Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name- calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, evencalling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse issomething that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing tousually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, isthe partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control hereven more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control her without her knowing.without her knowing. •Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling.Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling. •Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner's self-esteem graduallyVerbal abuse is insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciouslydiminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upsetor unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.the abuser. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 1919
  • 20. •Verbal abuse is unpredictable.Verbal abuse is unpredictable. •Verbal abuse is not a side issue.Verbal abuse is not a side issue. •Verbal abuse expresses a double message.Verbal abuse expresses a double message. There is incongruence between the way theThere is incongruence between the way the abuser speaks and his real feelings. Forabuser speaks and his real feelings. For example, he may sound very sincere and honestexample, he may sound very sincere and honest while he is telling his partner what is wrong withwhile he is telling his partner what is wrong with her.her. Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity,Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may beginfrequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other formswith put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse maymight surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may escalate into physical abuse, starting with "accidental"escalate into physical abuse, starting with "accidental" shoves, pushes, and bumps.shoves, pushes, and bumps. Characteristics of Verbal AbuseCharacteristics of Verbal Abuse Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2020
  • 21. Categories of Verbal AbuseCategories of Verbal Abuse •1.1. Verbal abuse isVerbal abuse is withholdingwithholding. A marriage requires. A marriage requires intimacy, and intimacy requires empathy.intimacy, and intimacy requires empathy. •2.2. CounteringCountering. This is the dominant response of the. This is the dominant response of the verbal abuser who sees his partner as an adversary.verbal abuser who sees his partner as an adversary. •3.3. DiscountingDiscounting.. •4. Sometimes verbal abuse is4. Sometimes verbal abuse is disguised as jokesdisguised as jokes.. •5.5. Blocking and divertingBlocking and diverting. The verbal abuser refuses to. The verbal abuser refuses to communicate, establishes whatcommunicate, establishes what cancan be discussed, orbe discussed, or withholds information.withholds information. •6. Accusing and blaming6. Accusing and blaming is another form. A verbalis another form. A verbal abuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing orabuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing or some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship.some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship. •7. Another form of verbal abuse is7. Another form of verbal abuse is judging andjudging and criticizingcriticizing.. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2121
  • 22. •••TrivializingTrivializing: It is an attempt to take: It is an attempt to take something that is said or done and make itsomething that is said or done and make it insignificantinsignificant.. •UnderminingUndermining: The abuser not only withholds: The abuser not only withholds emotional support, but also erodes confidenceemotional support, but also erodes confidence and determination. The abuser often willand determination. The abuser often will squelch an idea or suggestion just by a singlesquelch an idea or suggestion just by a single comment.comment. •ThreateningThreatening is a classic form of verbal abuse.is a classic form of verbal abuse. This may include threatening to leave orThis may include threatening to leave or threatening to get a divorce. In some cases, thethreatening to get a divorce. In some cases, the threat may be to escalate the abuse.threat may be to escalate the abuse. Other Forms of Verbal AbuseOther Forms of Verbal Abuse Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2222
  • 23. •Name-callingName-calling can also be verbal abuse. Continuallycan also be verbal abuse. Continually calling someone "stupid" because she isn't ascalling someone "stupid" because she isn't as intelligent as you.intelligent as you. •Verbal abuse may also involveVerbal abuse may also involve forgettingforgetting. This may. This may involve both overt and covert manipulation. Everyoneinvolve both overt and covert manipulation. Everyone forgets things from time to time, but the verbal abuserforgets things from time to time, but the verbal abuser consistently does so.consistently does so. •OrderingOrdering is another classic form of verbal abuse. Itis another classic form of verbal abuse. It denies the equality and autonomy of the partner.denies the equality and autonomy of the partner. When an abuser gives orders instead of asking, heWhen an abuser gives orders instead of asking, he treats her like a slave or subordinate.treats her like a slave or subordinate. •DenialDenial is the last category of verbal abuse. Althoughis the last category of verbal abuse. Although all forms of verbal abuse have serious consequences,all forms of verbal abuse have serious consequences, denial can be very insidious because it denies thedenial can be very insidious because it denies the reality of the partner.reality of the partner. Other Forms of Verbal AbuseOther Forms of Verbal Abuse Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2323
  • 24. PHYSICAL ABUSEPHYSICAL ABUSE Physical abuse is when someonePhysical abuse is when someone deliberately hurts or injures you. Hitting,deliberately hurts or injures you. Hitting, kicking, hair pulling, beating with objects,kicking, hair pulling, beating with objects, throwing and shaking are all forms ofthrowing and shaking are all forms of physical abuse, and can cause pain, cuts,physical abuse, and can cause pain, cuts, bruising, broken bones and sometimes evenbruising, broken bones and sometimes even death. No one has the right to hurt you indeath. No one has the right to hurt you in this way. Physical abuse can happen as athis way. Physical abuse can happen as a single event or over a longer period of time.single event or over a longer period of time. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2424
  • 25. Who are the perpetratorsWho are the perpetrators?? •Perpetrators may be acquaintances, sons, daughtersPerpetrators may be acquaintances, sons, daughters,, grandchildren, or others. Physical abuse that isgrandchildren, or others. Physical abuse that is perpetrated by spouses or intimate partners in orderperpetrated by spouses or intimate partners in order to gain power and control over the victim is describedto gain power and control over the victim is described in the section on domestic violence. Perpetrators arein the section on domestic violence. Perpetrators are likely to be unmarried, to live with their victims, andlikely to be unmarried, to live with their victims, and to be unemployed. Some perpetrators have alcohol orto be unemployed. Some perpetrators have alcohol or substance abuse problems. Some are caregivers forsubstance abuse problems. Some are caregivers for those they abusethose they abuse.. •Who is at risk?Who is at risk? As a group, victims of physical abuse do not differAs a group, victims of physical abuse do not differ significantly from seniors who are not abused.significantly from seniors who are not abused. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2525
  • 26. •What are the indicatorsWhat are the indicators?? Physical indicatorsPhysical indicators •Sprains, dislocations, fractures, or brokenSprains, dislocations, fractures, or broken bonesbones •Burns from cigarettes, appliances, or hotBurns from cigarettes, appliances, or hot waterwater •Abrasions on arms, legs, or torso thatAbrasions on arms, legs, or torso that resemble rope or strap marksresemble rope or strap marks •Internal injuries evidenced by pain, difficultyInternal injuries evidenced by pain, difficulty with normal functioning of organs, andwith normal functioning of organs, and bleeding from body orificesbleeding from body orifices Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2626
  • 27. •Behavioral indicatorsBehavioral indicators •Injuries are unexplained or explanations areInjuries are unexplained or explanations are implausible (they do not "fit" with the injuriesimplausible (they do not "fit" with the injuries observed)observed) •Family members provide differentFamily members provide different explanations of how injuries were sustainedexplanations of how injuries were sustained •A history of similar injuries, and/or numerousA history of similar injuries, and/or numerous or suspicious hospitalizationsor suspicious hospitalizations •Victims are brought to different medicalVictims are brought to different medical facilities for treatment to prevent medicalfacilities for treatment to prevent medical practitioners from observing a pattern of abusepractitioners from observing a pattern of abuse •Delay between onset of injury and seekingDelay between onset of injury and seeking medical care.medical care. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2727
  • 28. •How can physical abuse affect me?How can physical abuse affect me? Experiencing physical abuse can leave youExperiencing physical abuse can leave you feelingfeeling-- •• Fearful • Anxious • Lonely and isolated •Fearful • Anxious • Lonely and isolated • Depressed and sad • Worthless with low self-Depressed and sad • Worthless with low self- esteemesteem • Like you want to self-harm • Like you• Like you want to self-harm • Like you want to run away • Unable to concentrate atwant to run away • Unable to concentrate at school, eat or sleep properlyschool, eat or sleep properly •Who could physically abuse meWho could physically abuse me?? Physical abuse can be carried out by adultsPhysical abuse can be carried out by adults including your mum and dad as well as byincluding your mum and dad as well as by other young people such as brothers, sisters,other young people such as brothers, sisters, boyfriends or girlfriends.boyfriends or girlfriends.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2828
  • 29. •Why do some people physically abuse other peopleWhy do some people physically abuse other people?? This is a difficult question to answer as people who physicallyThis is a difficult question to answer as people who physically abuse others may give different reasons as to why they hurtabuse others may give different reasons as to why they hurt another person in this way. Sometimes, certain things mightanother person in this way. Sometimes, certain things might trigger abuse such as alcohol or drug use.trigger abuse such as alcohol or drug use. Physical abuse might also be happening alongside other typesPhysical abuse might also be happening alongside other types of abuse such as-of abuse such as- •Sexual abuseSexual abuse •Emotional abuseEmotional abuse •Domestic violenceDomestic violence •Family relationship problemsFamily relationship problems •Being in an abusive relationship with a girlfriend/boyfriendBeing in an abusive relationship with a girlfriend/boyfriend There are no reasons that justify physical abuse. Abuse isThere are no reasons that justify physical abuse. Abuse is wrong full stop.wrong full stop. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 2929
  • 30. •I'm being physically abused, is it my faultI'm being physically abused, is it my fault?? No it’s not your fault. No one has the right toNo it’s not your fault. No one has the right to hurt somebody else. If someone is hurting youhurt somebody else. If someone is hurting you they are aware of what they are doing andthey are aware of what they are doing and know it is wrong. They may say they haveknow it is wrong. They may say they have reasons for doing this but none of those reasonsreasons for doing this but none of those reasons are acceptable. The person who is hurting youare acceptable. The person who is hurting you might tell you that it’s your fault, to stop youmight tell you that it’s your fault, to stop you telling anyone about what is happening. It isn’ttelling anyone about what is happening. It isn’t your fault. Everyone has the right to be safe.your fault. Everyone has the right to be safe. No one has the right to hurt you. It shouldn’tNo one has the right to hurt you. It shouldn’t happen and can be stopped.happen and can be stopped. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3030
  • 31. •What should I do if I’m scared about beingWhat should I do if I’m scared about being physically abusedphysically abused?? If you are being physically abused and feel youIf you are being physically abused and feel you are in immediate danger, you can call theare in immediate danger, you can call the police and they will come and check yourpolice and they will come and check your safety. It is ok to get upset about beingsafety. It is ok to get upset about being physically abused, and this is a naturalphysically abused, and this is a natural reaction to any kind of abuse.reaction to any kind of abuse. •You are not aloneYou are not alone As well as speaking to a counselor; you canAs well as speaking to a counselor; you can chat to other young people who might be inchat to other young people who might be in similar situation to you.similar situation to you. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3131
  • 32. How can I tell if someone is beingHow can I tell if someone is being physically abusedphysically abused?? Physical abuse, like all types of abuse,Physical abuse, like all types of abuse, affects people in different ways. If someoneaffects people in different ways. If someone is being physically abused they might haveis being physically abused they might have obvious signs such as bruises or cuts, butobvious signs such as bruises or cuts, but these signs could also be hidden underthese signs could also be hidden under clothes. They might be unusually quiet andclothes. They might be unusually quiet and withdrawn, or they might lash out andwithdrawn, or they might lash out and become angry or violent.become angry or violent. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3232
  • 33. •I’m worried that my friend is being physically abused,I’m worried that my friend is being physically abused, what should I dowhat should I do?? If you are worried about someone and think they mightIf you are worried about someone and think they might be being physically abused, you could try to talk tobe being physically abused, you could try to talk to them, in private, about the problem. It’s important tothem, in private, about the problem. It’s important to let them know you are there for them and listen to themlet them know you are there for them and listen to them if they want to talk. You could encourage them to if theyif they want to talk. You could encourage them to if they don’t know who to talk to. If they are in trouble, ordon’t know who to talk to. If they are in trouble, or someone is hurting them, then you could tell someonesomeone is hurting them, then you could tell someone you trust about it. You could talk to an adult you trustyou trust about it. You could talk to an adult you trust like a teacher or a friend's parent. If you don’t knowlike a teacher or a friend's parent. If you don’t know who to talk to, you can always talk to counselor. We arewho to talk to, you can always talk to counselor. We are here for you if you are worried about a friend beinghere for you if you are worried about a friend being physically abused. Get help and advice on helping aphysically abused. Get help and advice on helping a friend.friend. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3333
  • 34. What will happen if I tell someone about the physical abuseWhat will happen if I tell someone about the physical abuse?? It’s important that you try and tell somebody if you or a friend isIt’s important that you try and tell somebody if you or a friend is being abused.being abused. -Telling somebody you trust can-Telling somebody you trust can - Make the abuse stop- Make the abuse stop - Help you to start living a happier life free from harm- Help you to start living a happier life free from harm - Protect other children and young people.- Protect other children and young people. .. •I’m scared I’ll make things worse if I tell someone…I’m scared I’ll make things worse if I tell someone… Living with somebody who is physically abusing you is a scaryLiving with somebody who is physically abusing you is a scary situation to be in. You might be worried about-situation to be in. You might be worried about- - When the next incident of abuse or argument will start- When the next incident of abuse or argument will start - A younger sibling or another parent being a victim- A younger sibling or another parent being a victim - Parents/carers getting away with it /the abuse continuing- Parents/carers getting away with it /the abuse continuing - Friends or neighbors finding out- Friends or neighbors finding out - The thought of living in care/where you will live- The thought of living in care/where you will live - Parents/carers getting into trouble if you tell someone.- Parents/carers getting into trouble if you tell someone. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3434
  • 35. Will my parents/careers get into trouble if I tell on themWill my parents/careers get into trouble if I tell on them?? If your parents are being physically abusive towards you, youIf your parents are being physically abusive towards you, you might be finding it hard to tell somebody. It is not unusual tomight be finding it hard to tell somebody. It is not unusual to like or even love the person that is abusing you even thoughlike or even love the person that is abusing you even though you don’t like what they are doing, especially if the person isyou don’t like what they are doing, especially if the person is your mum or dad. The abuse might also only happen onyour mum or dad. The abuse might also only happen on certain occasions for example, when a parent/carer has beencertain occasions for example, when a parent/carer has been drinking.drinking. Get information and advice on parents who drink.Get information and advice on parents who drink. No matter how often it happens or in what circumstances,No matter how often it happens or in what circumstances, what they are doing is wrong. It is not your fault and if left towhat they are doing is wrong. It is not your fault and if left to continue can affect your future happiness and so it needs tocontinue can affect your future happiness and so it needs to stop. It is their responsibility to keep you safe from harm andstop. It is their responsibility to keep you safe from harm and if your parents/carers are hurting you, then it’s important thatif your parents/carers are hurting you, then it’s important that you try and tell someone about it. You are not alone – there areyou try and tell someone about it. You are not alone – there are people who care about you and can help.people who care about you and can help.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3535
  • 36. Who can I talk to about physical abuseWho can I talk to about physical abuse?? Talking about abuse can be difficult. WhenTalking about abuse can be difficult. When you’re ready to tell someone, it might help toyou’re ready to tell someone, it might help to write down what you want to say first or put itwrite down what you want to say first or put it in a letter. Try and choose a person you feelin a letter. Try and choose a person you feel comfortable with and who you think you cancomfortable with and who you think you can trust. If the abuse is happening at home, youtrust. If the abuse is happening at home, you might want to talk to somebody outside of themight want to talk to somebody outside of the family such as a teacher or doctor.family such as a teacher or doctor. You might want to talk to a-You might want to talk to a- - Parent/carer - Grandparent - Friend -- Parent/carer - Grandparent - Friend - Friend’s parent - Teacher - School nurse –Friend’s parent - Teacher - School nurse – Doctor - Youth worker - Counselor.Doctor - Youth worker - Counselor.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3636
  • 37. SEXUAL ABUSESEXUAL ABUSE Sexual abuseSexual abuse, also referred to as, also referred to as molestationmolestation, is the forcing of, is the forcing of undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another.undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another. There are many types of sexual abuse, includingThere are many types of sexual abuse, including-- •Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior (rape and sexualNon-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior (rape and sexual assault).assault). •Unwanted touching, either of a child or an adult.Unwanted touching, either of a child or an adult. •Sexual kissing, fondling, exposure of genitalia, and voyeurism,Sexual kissing, fondling, exposure of genitalia, and voyeurism, exhibitionism and up to sexual assault.exhibitionism and up to sexual assault. •Exposing a child to pornography.Exposing a child to pornography. •Saying sexually suggestive statements towards a child (childSaying sexually suggestive statements towards a child (child molestation).molestation). •Also applies to non-consensual verbal sexual demands towards anAlso applies to non-consensual verbal sexual demands towards an adult.adult. •The use of a position of trust to compel otherwise unwanted sexualThe use of a position of trust to compel otherwise unwanted sexual activity without physical force (or can lead to attempted rape oractivity without physical force (or can lead to attempted rape or sexual assault).sexual assault). •Incest.Incest. • Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3737
  • 38. ••Spousal sexual abuseSpousal sexual abuse •Positions of power (Power harassment and Rankism)Positions of power (Power harassment and Rankism) •Child sexual abuseChild sexual abuse •Sexual abuse of people with developmental disabilitiesSexual abuse of people with developmental disabilities •Among animalsAmong animals •SurvivorSurvivor •Sexual abuse and minoritiesSexual abuse and minorities Often, sexual assault on a child is not reported by the childOften, sexual assault on a child is not reported by the child for several reasonsfor several reasons-- •children are too young to recognize their victimization orchildren are too young to recognize their victimization or put it into wordsput it into words •they were threatened or bribed by the abuserthey were threatened or bribed by the abuser •they feel confused by fearing the abuser but liking thethey feel confused by fearing the abuser but liking the attentionattention •they are afraid no one will believe themthey are afraid no one will believe them •they blame themselves or believe the abuse is a punishmentthey blame themselves or believe the abuse is a punishment •they feel guilty for consequences to the perpetratorthey feel guilty for consequences to the perpetrator Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3838
  • 39. PreventionPrevention •Green DotGreen Dot •Bring in the BystanderBring in the Bystander •Mentors in ViolenceMentors in Violence •Prevention (MVP)Prevention (MVP) •The Men's ProgramThe Men's Program Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 3939
  • 40. What You Can DoWhat You Can Do •Open Up! Writing About Trauma ReducesOpen Up! Writing About Trauma Reduces Stress, Aids ImmunityStress, Aids Immunity •Managing traumatic stress: Tips for recoveringManaging traumatic stress: Tips for recovering from disasters and other traumatic eventsfrom disasters and other traumatic events •Understanding Child Sexual AbuseUnderstanding Child Sexual Abuse •Child sexual abuse: What parents should knowChild sexual abuse: What parents should know Getting HelpGetting Help •Find a PsychologistFind a Psychologist •The Effects of Trauma Do Not Have to Last aThe Effects of Trauma Do Not Have to Last a LifetimeLifetime Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4040
  • 41. Rape Trauma SyndromeRape Trauma Syndrome •Immediate PhaseImmediate Phase:: DISORGANIZATIONDISORGANIZATION Reactions following the immediate impact stage include:Reactions following the immediate impact stage include: •Emotional reactionsEmotional reactions—the primary emotional response of a victim—the primary emotional response of a victim is fear of physical injury, mutilation or death. Other emotions canis fear of physical injury, mutilation or death. Other emotions can include humiliation, shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger orinclude humiliation, shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger or helplessness.helplessness. •Physical reactionsPhysical reactions—can include loss or increase of appetite, sleep—can include loss or increase of appetite, sleep disturbances, nausea or a general feeling of soreness.disturbances, nausea or a general feeling of soreness. •Social responsesSocial responses—victims can become less communicative and—victims can become less communicative and socially unsure. Many will socially and physically isolatesocially unsure. Many will socially and physically isolate themselves.themselves. •Sexual disturbancesSexual disturbances—victims tend to experience a general—victims tend to experience a general dissatisfaction of varying degrees in sexual relations, while othersdissatisfaction of varying degrees in sexual relations, while others become more sexually active than they were before the sexualbecome more sexually active than they were before the sexual abuse.abuse. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4141
  • 42. Rape Trauma SyndromeRape Trauma Syndrome Long Term Phase: REORGANIZATIONLong Term Phase: REORGANIZATION The Reorganization Phase: (when the victim is attempting to continue with life after the rape)The Reorganization Phase: (when the victim is attempting to continue with life after the rape) •Psychological reactionsPsychological reactions •Nightmares can be a reenactment of the assault or of gaining control of the assault by harming theNightmares can be a reenactment of the assault or of gaining control of the assault by harming the perpetrator.perpetrator. •Phobias can develop around things associated with the assault-strong emotional and/or physicalPhobias can develop around things associated with the assault-strong emotional and/or physical reactions to a smell, location, physical feature, situation, etc.reactions to a smell, location, physical feature, situation, etc. •Paranoia that people know about the assault or that the perpetrator will try to harm the victimParanoia that people know about the assault or that the perpetrator will try to harm the victim again can develop.again can develop. •Compulsive habits—excessive showering, cleaning, hand washing, etc.-can give the victim a senseCompulsive habits—excessive showering, cleaning, hand washing, etc.-can give the victim a sense of control when s/he feels a loss of control due to the assault.of control when s/he feels a loss of control due to the assault. •Physical problemsPhysical problems—include gynecological problems, backaches, urinary infections and migraines.—include gynecological problems, backaches, urinary infections and migraines. Eating and sleeping problems can persist.Eating and sleeping problems can persist. •Social responsesSocial responses—social isolation may persist as a long-term effect of the assault. Tension among—social isolation may persist as a long-term effect of the assault. Tension among the victim and family, friends and significant others may occur depending on how these individualsthe victim and family, friends and significant others may occur depending on how these individuals react to the assault.react to the assault. •Sexual relationshipsSexual relationships—some victims may fear or avoid sex or romantic relationships while others—some victims may fear or avoid sex or romantic relationships while others become promiscuous.become promiscuous. •Finally, some victims may develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder thatFinally, some victims may develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred orcan develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened.was threatened. •Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSDPost Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): •Fear •Anxiety •Flashbacks •Reoccurring): •Fear •Anxiety •Flashbacks •Reoccurring memories/nightmares of the event •Difficulty in concentrating •Irritation •Isolation •Emotionalmemories/nightmares of the event •Difficulty in concentrating •Irritation •Isolation •Emotional numbness •Depressionnumbness •Depression Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4242
  • 43. Factors influencing recovery includeFactors influencing recovery include �� support systemssupport systems �� relationship with offenderrelationship with offender �� degree of violencedegree of violence �� type of sexual violencetype of sexual violence �� perception of the abuseperception of the abuse •Talking PointsTalking Points ••Bullet 1Bullet 1: A victim's support system plays a huge role in recovery. The ideal: A victim's support system plays a huge role in recovery. The ideal situation occurs when a victim has a strong support system in family,situation occurs when a victim has a strong support system in family, friends and/or a significant other that validates the victim’s trauma andfriends and/or a significant other that validates the victim’s trauma and encourages recovery. Victims may have no support system or a supportencourages recovery. Victims may have no support system or a support system that ignores the abuse or blames them—both of which cansystem that ignores the abuse or blames them—both of which can negatively affect recovery.negatively affect recovery. ••Bullet 2Bullet 2: If the offender is a stranger, it is easier for the victim to blame the: If the offender is a stranger, it is easier for the victim to blame the perpetrator. If trust has been established between the perpetrator and theperpetrator. If trust has been established between the perpetrator and the victim, the effects of abuse may be more profound. Example: Imagine thevictim, the effects of abuse may be more profound. Example: Imagine the difference between being raped by a stranger in the bushes versus beingdifference between being raped by a stranger in the bushes versus being raped by your father. Which would be more difficult to deal with?raped by your father. Which would be more difficult to deal with? ••Bullet 3Bullet 3: The degree of violence affects both physical and emotional recovery. A: The degree of violence affects both physical and emotional recovery. A violence rape may require a longer hospital stay and possible permanentviolence rape may require a longer hospital stay and possible permanent damage, and/or lead to increased fear and paranoia for the victim.damage, and/or lead to increased fear and paranoia for the victim. ••Bullet 4Bullet 4: Forced genital, oral, anal or digital penetration may affect victims: Forced genital, oral, anal or digital penetration may affect victims differently from sexual harassment or forced touching. At the same time,differently from sexual harassment or forced touching. At the same time, any form of sexual violence can have serious affects on a victim.any form of sexual violence can have serious affects on a victim. ••Bullet 5Bullet 5: How the victim experienced the abuse- as a life threatening experience,: How the victim experienced the abuse- as a life threatening experience, as a violation of trust- affects recovery.as a violation of trust- affects recovery. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4343
  • 44. Factors influencing recovery includeFactors influencing recovery include �� social/cultural influencessocial/cultural influences �� previous experiences with stressprevious experiences with stress �� success in coping with previous crisessuccess in coping with previous crises �� immediate contactsimmediate contacts after abuse.after abuse. Talking PointsTalking Points ••Bullet 1:Bullet 1: How the victim views sex, rape, sexuality and pre-How the victim views sex, rape, sexuality and pre- martial or unmarried sex can all affect recovery.martial or unmarried sex can all affect recovery. ••Bullet 2 and 3:Bullet 2 and 3: If the victim has coping skills for dealing withIf the victim has coping skills for dealing with the stress of trauma, recovery can be an easier process. Athe stress of trauma, recovery can be an easier process. A victim may also have past experiences with sexualvictim may also have past experiences with sexual violence,violence, and a recent attack can trigger flashbacks.and a recent attack can trigger flashbacks. ••Bullet 4:Bullet 4: The first contact after the assault, during theThe first contact after the assault, during the disorganization phase, can influence how the victimdisorganization phase, can influence how the victim perceivesperceives the assault. Example: If the victim runs to athe assault. Example: If the victim runs to a police officerpolice officer after the assault for help and he tells herafter the assault for help and he tells her “What do you expect,“What do you expect, with that skirt on?,” the victim’swith that skirt on?,” the victim’s recovery will be affectedrecovery will be affected negatively.negatively. Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4444
  • 45. Good Key PhrasesGood Key Phrases •““I believe you.”I believe you.” •““I’m sorry this happened to you.”I’m sorry this happened to you.” •““It is not your fault.”It is not your fault.” •““I’m glad you’re alive.”I’m glad you’re alive.” •““You did the best you could.”You did the best you could.” •““You have options.”You have options.” Talking PointsTalking Points These are good phrases for validating victims’ feelings andThese are good phrases for validating victims’ feelings and allowing them to feel cared for and believed.allowing them to feel cared for and believed. Do NotDo Not ••Promise what you cannot deliver.Promise what you cannot deliver. ••Say ”I understand.”Say ”I understand.” ••Blame the victim.Blame the victim. ••Give advice.Give advice. *Note: Even if you are a survivor and understand being a victim*Note: Even if you are a survivor and understand being a victim of sexual violence, each individual’s experience is different.of sexual violence, each individual’s experience is different.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4545
  • 46. Thank YouThank You Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017). Essentials of Counseling. AbosarEssentials of Counseling. Abosar 4646