Basic Counseling Skills

Active listeningActive listening
Empathetic understandingEmpathetic understanding
QuestioningQuestioning
Verbal/ Non-verbal ExpressionVerbal/ Non-verbal Expression
BasicBasic
CounselingCounseling
SkillsSkills
Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
Essentials of Counseling. Abosar
Prokashana Sangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-
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Top Ten Basic CounselingTop Ten Basic Counseling
SkillsSkills
1.1.ListeningListening
2.2.EmpathyEmpathy
3.3.GenuinenessGenuineness
4.4.Unconditional positive regardUnconditional positive regard
5.5.ConcretenessConcreteness
6.6.Open QuestionsOpen Questions
7.Knowledgeable
8.8.Counselor Self-DisclosureCounselor Self-Disclosure
9.9.InterpretationInterpretation
10.10.Information Giving and Removing ObstaclesInformation Giving and Removing Obstacles
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a.a. AttendingAttending:: orienting oneself physically toorienting oneself physically to
the client to indicate one is aware of thethe client to indicate one is aware of the
client, and, in fact, that the client has yourclient, and, in fact, that the client has your
full, undivided attention and that you care.full, undivided attention and that you care.
 Methods include eye contact, nods, notMethods include eye contact, nods, not
moving around, being distracted,moving around, being distracted,
encouraging verbalizations, mirroring bodyencouraging verbalizations, mirroring body
postures and language, leaning forward,postures and language, leaning forward,
etc.etc.
 Researchers estimate that about 80 percentResearchers estimate that about 80 percent
of communication takes place non-verbally.of communication takes place non-verbally.
ListeningListening
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ListeningListening
b.b. Listening/observingListening/observing:: capturing andcapturing and
understanding theunderstanding the verbalverbal andand nonverbalnonverbal
information communicated by that client.information communicated by that client.
Two primary sources of information -Two primary sources of information -
•• ContentContent -- what is specifically said. Listenwhat is specifically said. Listen
carefully for, not only what a person says, butcarefully for, not only what a person says, but
also the words, expressions and patterns thealso the words, expressions and patterns the
person is using, which may give you a deeperperson is using, which may give you a deeper
insight.insight.
•• ProcessProcess - all nonverbal phenomena,- all nonverbal phenomena,
including how content is conveyed, themes,including how content is conveyed, themes,
body language, interactions, smiling etc.body language, interactions, smiling etc.Book Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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The ability to perceive another's experience andThe ability to perceive another's experience and
then to communicate that perception back to thethen to communicate that perception back to the
individual to clarify and amplify their ownindividual to clarify and amplify their own
experiencing and meaning.experiencing and meaning.
Primary skills associated with the communicationPrimary skills associated with the communication
of empathy include-of empathy include-
a. nonverbal and verbal attendinga. nonverbal and verbal attending
b. paraphrasing content of client communicationsb. paraphrasing content of client communications
c. reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.c. reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.
a.a. AttendingAttending –– involves our behaviors whichinvolves our behaviors which
reflect our paying full attention, in an acceptingreflect our paying full attention, in an accepting
and supportive way, to the client.and supportive way, to the client.
EmpathyEmpathy
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EmpathEmpath
yyb.b. ParaphrasingParaphrasing -- Selective focusing on the cognitive partSelective focusing on the cognitive part
of the message – with the client’s key words and ideasof the message – with the client’s key words and ideas
being communicated back to the client in a rephrased, andbeing communicated back to the client in a rephrased, and
shortened form.shortened form.
There are four steps in effective paraphrasing:There are four steps in effective paraphrasing:
Listen and recallListen and recall:: The entire client message to ensure youThe entire client message to ensure you
recalled it in its entirety and do not omit any significantrecalled it in its entirety and do not omit any significant
parts.parts.
Identify the contentIdentify the content part of the message by deciding whatpart of the message by deciding what
event, situation, idea, or person the client is talking about.event, situation, idea, or person the client is talking about.
RephraseRephrase,, in as concise a manner as possible, the keyin as concise a manner as possible, the key
words and ideas the client has used to communicate theirwords and ideas the client has used to communicate their
concerns in a fresh or different perspective.concerns in a fresh or different perspective.
Perception checkPerception check is usually in the form of a brief question,is usually in the form of a brief question,
e., “It sounds like...,” “Let me see if I understand this,”e., “It sounds like...,” “Let me see if I understand this,”
which allows the client to agree or disagree with thewhich allows the client to agree or disagree with the
accuracy of your paraphrasing.accuracy of your paraphrasing.
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EmpathyEmpathy
c.c. Reflecting Client’s FeelingReflecting Client’s Feeling -- AffectiveAffective
reflection in an open-ended, respectfulreflection in an open-ended, respectful
manner of what the client is communicatingmanner of what the client is communicating
verbally and nonverbally, both directlyverbally and nonverbally, both directly
through words and nonverbal behaviors asthrough words and nonverbal behaviors as
well as reasonable inferences about whatwell as reasonable inferences about what
the client might be experiencingthe client might be experiencing
emotionally.emotionally.
It is important for the helper to thinkIt is important for the helper to think
carefully about which words he/shecarefully about which words he/she
chooses to communicate these feelingschooses to communicate these feelings
back to the client.back to the client.
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Ability of counselor to be freely themselves.Ability of counselor to be freely themselves.
Includes congruence between outerIncludes congruence between outer
words/behaviors and inner feelings; non-words/behaviors and inner feelings; non-
defensiveness; non-role-playing; and beingdefensiveness; non-role-playing; and being
unpretentious.unpretentious.
For example, if the helper claims that they areFor example, if the helper claims that they are
comfortable helping a client explore a drug orcomfortable helping a client explore a drug or
sexual issue, but their behavior (verbally andsexual issue, but their behavior (verbally and
nonverbally) shows signs of discomfort with thenonverbally) shows signs of discomfort with the
topic this will become an obstacle to progresstopic this will become an obstacle to progress
and often lead to client confusion about andand often lead to client confusion about and
mistrust of the helper.mistrust of the helper.
GenuinenessGenuineness
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An expression of caring and nurturance as wellAn expression of caring and nurturance as well
as acceptance.as acceptance.
Includes conveying warmth through.Includes conveying warmth through.
Also conveying acceptance by responding toAlso conveying acceptance by responding to
the client's messages (verbal and nonverbal) withthe client's messages (verbal and nonverbal) with
nonjudgmental or non-critical verbal & nonverbalnonjudgmental or non-critical verbal & nonverbal
reactions.reactions.
Respect - ability to communicate to the clientRespect - ability to communicate to the client
the counselor's sincere belief that every personthe counselor's sincere belief that every person
possesses the inherent strength and capacity topossesses the inherent strength and capacity to
make it in life, and that each person has the rightmake it in life, and that each person has the right
to choose his own alternatives and make his ownto choose his own alternatives and make his own
decisions.decisions.
Unconditional Positive RegardUnconditional Positive Regard
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Keeping communications specific - focused on facts andKeeping communications specific - focused on facts and
feelings of relevant concerns, while avoiding tangents,feelings of relevant concerns, while avoiding tangents,
generalizations, abstract discussions, or talking aboutgeneralizations, abstract discussions, or talking about
counselor rather than the client. Includes the followingcounselor rather than the client. Includes the following
functions:functions:
Assisting client to identify and work on a specificAssisting client to identify and work on a specific
problem from the various ones presented.problem from the various ones presented.
Reminding the client of the task and re-describingReminding the client of the task and re-describing
intent and structure of the session.intent and structure of the session.
Using questions and suggestions to help the clientUsing questions and suggestions to help the client
clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.
Use a here-and-now focus to emphasize process andUse a here-and-now focus to emphasize process and
content occurring in current session, which may of helpcontent occurring in current session, which may of help
to elucidate the problem being worked on or improvingto elucidate the problem being worked on or improving
the problem-solving process.the problem-solving process.
ConcretenessConcreteness
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A questioning process to assist the client inA questioning process to assist the client in
clarifying or exploring thoughts or feelings.clarifying or exploring thoughts or feelings.
Goal is to facilitate exploration – not needed ifGoal is to facilitate exploration – not needed if
the client is already doing this.the client is already doing this.
Have an intention or therapeutic purpose forHave an intention or therapeutic purpose for
every question you ask.every question you ask.
Avoid asking too many questions, or assumingAvoid asking too many questions, or assuming
an interrogatory role.an interrogatory role.
Best approach is to follow a response to anBest approach is to follow a response to an
open-ended question with a paraphrase oropen-ended question with a paraphrase or
reflection which encourages the client to sharereflection which encourages the client to share
more and avoids repetitive patterns ofmore and avoids repetitive patterns of
question/answer/question/answer, etc.question/answer/question/answer, etc.
Open QuestionsOpen Questions
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It is essential to have accurateIt is essential to have accurate
and up-to-date knowledge.and up-to-date knowledge.
Counselors should be wellCounselors should be well
informed about the field theyinformed about the field they
work within, including thework within, including the
services and resources availableservices and resources available
to their client group within theirto their client group within their
setting and community.setting and community.
KnowledgeableKnowledgeable
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The counselor shares personal feelings,The counselor shares personal feelings,
experiences, or reactions to the client.experiences, or reactions to the client.
Should include relevant contentShould include relevant content
intended to help them.intended to help them.
Remember empathy is not sharingRemember empathy is not sharing
similar experiences but conveying in asimilar experiences but conveying in a
caring and understanding manner whatcaring and understanding manner what
the client is feeling and thinkingthe client is feeling and thinking
Counselor Self-DisclosureCounselor Self-Disclosure
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Any statement to the client which goes beyond whatAny statement to the client which goes beyond what
they have said or are aware of.they have said or are aware of.
In interpretation the counselor is providing newIn interpretation the counselor is providing new
meaning, reason, or explanation for behaviors, thoughts,meaning, reason, or explanation for behaviors, thoughts,
or feelings so that client can see problems in a new way.or feelings so that client can see problems in a new way.
Interpretations can help the client make connectionsInterpretations can help the client make connections
between seemingly isolated statements of events, canbetween seemingly isolated statements of events, can
point out themes or patterns, or can offer a newpoint out themes or patterns, or can offer a new
framework for understanding.framework for understanding.
An interpretation may be used to help a client focus on aAn interpretation may be used to help a client focus on a
specific aspect of their problem, or provide a goal.specific aspect of their problem, or provide a goal.
Keep interpretations short, concrete and deliver themKeep interpretations short, concrete and deliver them
tentatively and with empathy.tentatively and with empathy.
Use interpretations sparingly and do not assume aUse interpretations sparingly and do not assume a
client's rejection of your insight means they are resistantclient's rejection of your insight means they are resistant
or that you are right.or that you are right.
InterpretatiInterpretati
onon
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Supplying data, opinions, facts,Supplying data, opinions, facts,
resources or answers to questions.resources or answers to questions.
Explore with client possible problemsExplore with client possible problems
which may delay or prevent theirwhich may delay or prevent their
change process.change process.
In collaboration with the clientIn collaboration with the client
identify possible solutions andidentify possible solutions and
alternatives.alternatives.
Information Giving andInformation Giving and
Removing Obstacles toRemoving Obstacles to
ChangeChange
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Counseling micro-skills are essential forCounseling micro-skills are essential for
effective communication and theeffective communication and the
development of a supportive client-development of a supportive client-
counselor relationship.counselor relationship.
As a foundation, counselors need toAs a foundation, counselors need to
develop specific micro-skills. Thesedevelop specific micro-skills. These
include –include –
Listening and empathyListening and empathy
QuestioningQuestioning
SilenceSilence
Non-verbal behaviorNon-verbal behavior
Counseling Micro-skillsCounseling Micro-skills
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It helps us understand the client’s situation and itIt helps us understand the client’s situation and it
helps us assess clinical conditions.helps us assess clinical conditions.
When asking questions -When asking questions -
DODO ask one question at a timeask one question at a time
DODO look at the personlook at the person
DODO be brief and clearbe brief and clear
DODO ask questions that serve a purposeask questions that serve a purpose
DODO use questions to help the client talk about theiruse questions to help the client talk about their
feelings and behaviorsfeelings and behaviors
DODO use questions to explore and understand issuesuse questions to explore and understand issues
and to heighten awarenessand to heighten awareness
DO NOTDO NOT ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity —ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity —
irrelevant questions may cause people to feelirrelevant questions may cause people to feel
pushed or reluctant to answer.pushed or reluctant to answer.
QuestioniQuestioni
ngng
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QuestioningQuestioning
1.1. Closed questions:Closed questions: A closed question limits theA closed question limits the
response of the client to a one-word answer. Closedresponse of the client to a one-word answer. Closed
questions may not require clients to think about whatquestions may not require clients to think about what
they are saying. Answers can be brief and often resultthey are saying. Answers can be brief and often result
in the need to ask more questions.in the need to ask more questions.
2. Open questions:2. Open questions: An open question requires more thanAn open question requires more than
a one-word answer. Open questions generally begina one-word answer. Open questions generally begin
with ”what”, “where”, “how” or “when”. They invite thewith ”what”, “where”, “how” or “when”. They invite the
client to continue talking and to decide what directionclient to continue talking and to decide what direction
they want the conversation to take.they want the conversation to take.
3. Leading questions:3. Leading questions: Leading questions are questionsLeading questions are questions
where the counselor guides the client to give thewhere the counselor guides the client to give the
answer they desire. These questions are usuallyanswer they desire. These questions are usually
judgmental.judgmental.
There are essentially three styles of questions-There are essentially three styles of questions-
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Gives a client time to think about whatGives a client time to think about what
to sayto say
Gives a client space to experience theirGives a client space to experience their
feelingsfeelings
Allows a client to proceed at their ownAllows a client to proceed at their own
pacepace
Provides a client with time to deal withProvides a client with time to deal with
ambivalence about sharingambivalence about sharing
Gives a client freedom to chooseGives a client freedom to choose
whether or not to continuewhether or not to continue
SilenceSilence
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It’s not what you say but HOW you say it!It’s not what you say but HOW you say it!
The majority of communication is non-The majority of communication is non-
verbal.verbal.
Counselors need to be aware of whatCounselors need to be aware of what
they may be communicating to theirthey may be communicating to their
clients through their non-verbalclients through their non-verbal
behavior.behavior.
They also need to give attention toThey also need to give attention to
what is being communicated through thewhat is being communicated through the
non-verbal behavior of their clients.non-verbal behavior of their clients.
Non-verbal behaviorNon-verbal behavior
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Non-verbal behaviorNon-verbal behavior
Body languageBody language
ParalinguisticParalinguistic
GesturesGestures
SighsSighs
Facial expressionsFacial expressions
GruntsGrunts
PosturePosture
GroansGroans
Body orientationBody orientation
Voice pitch changeVoice pitch change
Body proximity/distanceBody proximity/distance
Voice volumeVoice volume
Eye contactEye contact
Voice fluencyVoice fluency
MirroringMirroring
Nervous gigglesNervous giggles
Remove barriers (e.g. desks)Remove barriers (e.g. desks)
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Quick reference for counseling micro-skillsQuick reference for counseling micro-skills
VerbalVerbal Non-verbalNon-verbal
Uses language that the clientUses language that the client
understandsunderstands
Uses a tone of voice similarUses a tone of voice similar
to the client’sto the client’s
Repeats the client’s story in otherRepeats the client’s story in other
wordswords
Looks client in the eye (asLooks client in the eye (as
appropriate)appropriate)
Clarifies client’s statementsClarifies client’s statements Nods occasionallyNods occasionally
Explains clearly and adequatelyExplains clearly and adequately Uses facial expressionsUses facial expressions
SummarizesSummarizes Uses occasional gesturesUses occasional gestures
Responds to primary messageResponds to primary message Keeps suitableKeeps suitable
conversational distanceconversational distance
Encourages: “I see”, “Yes”, “Mm-Encourages: “I see”, “Yes”, “Mm-
hmm”hmm”
Speaks at an appropriateSpeaks at an appropriate
pacepace
Addresses client in a mannerAddresses client in a manner
appropriate to the client’s ageappropriate to the client’s age
Physically relaxedPhysically relaxed
Gives needed informationGives needed information Open postureOpen postureBook Reference: Kabir, SMS (2017).
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Examples of non-supportive behavior in a selected cultureExamples of non-supportive behavior in a selected culture
VerbalVerbal
AdvisingAdvising
Non-verbalNon-verbal
Looking away frequentlyLooking away frequently
Preaching and moralizingPreaching and moralizing Keeping an inappropriateKeeping an inappropriate
distancedistance
Blaming, judging and labelingBlaming, judging and labeling SneeringSneering
Cajoling (persuading by flattery orCajoling (persuading by flattery or
deceit)deceit)
Frowning, scowling andFrowning, scowling and
yawningyawning
““Why” questions, interrogatingWhy” questions, interrogating Using an unpleasant tone ofUsing an unpleasant tone of
speechspeech
Directing, demandingDirecting, demanding Speaking too quicklySpeaking too quickly
Excessive reassuringExcessive reassuring Speaking too slowlySpeaking too slowly
Straying from the topicStraying from the topic Having a blank facialHaving a blank facial
expressionexpression
Encouraging dependenceEncouraging dependence StaringStaring
Patronizing (condescending) attitudePatronizing (condescending) attitude Moving around too much,Moving around too much,
fidgetingfidgeting
Criticizing or censuringCriticizing or censuring Environmental barriers orEnvironmental barriers or
distractionsdistractions
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Self-Awareness
Exercise1.1. What are someWhat are some
examples of personalexamples of personal
issues that mayissues that may
influence how youinfluence how you
interact with yourinteract with your
clients?clients?
1.1. How can you preventHow can you prevent
these issues fromthese issues from
negatively influencingnegatively influencing
counseling sessions?counseling sessions?
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