Marital counselling


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Marital counselling

  1. 1. Definition Marriage counseling is a type of psychotherapy for a married couple or established partners that tries to resolve problems in the relationship. Typically, two people attend counseling sessions together to discuss specific issues. Purpose Marriage counseling is based on research that shows that individuals and their problems are best handled within the context of their relationships. Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and focus on understanding their clients symptoms and the way their interactions contribute to problems in the relationship. Description Marriage counseling is usually a short-term therapy that may take only a few sessions to work out problems in the relationship. Typically, marriage counselors ask questions about the couples roles, patterns, rules, goals, and beliefs. Therapy often begins as the couple analyzes the good and bad aspects...Marriage counseling - DefinitionMarriage counseling is a type of psychological counseling where a married couple meet with the psychologist, social worker or othertype of mental health professional for counseling to hopefully heal their marriage. When one of the partners refuses to go to marriagecounseling it is usually a sign that party is considering divorce. Marriage counseling can be seen as a type of mediation aimed atconciliation. Some parties who get divorce use a similar process through divorce mediation to determine issues like custody, spousalsupport and the division of property.Many individuals refuse to seek counseling because of the feeling that they are admitting that their marriage has failed. However,many couples in successful marriages seek counseling to resolve difficult issues, to confront their own psychological problems withinthe context of couples therapy or to find a neutral space where they can work on their relationship. Some marriage counselors maymeet with the partners separately before meeting with them together, or may even have individual counselors who meet with thepartners and then have a group session with all the counselors and the partners. What to Look For in Pre-Marriage Preparation Heres a concise list of seven relationship skill and knowledge areas that research has shown to contribute to the success and endurance of marriage: Compatibility Expectations Personalities and families-of-origin Communication Conflict resolution Intimacy and sexuality Long-term goals Even if it isnt required, you should seriously consider the benefits of premarital counseling: 1. It can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent 2. It can lead to a significantly happier marriage 3. It can help reduce the stress of planning a wedding And if youre like many young couples and believe that love will get you through the rough times, then you should take a minute to review a few divorce stats. With the
  2. 2. divorce rate hovering around fifty percent, its clear that a successful marriage relies on much more than just love.While love is important, it wont be enough if you dont have the basic relationship skills you need for a successful marriage. Lasting marriages require partners who respect one another and know how to communicate with one another. The idea behind premarital counseling is that you need to strengthen your relationship before tying the knot so that you will be fully equipped to deal with the challenges and conflicts that every couple inevitably faces at some point in their marriage. When enrolling in premarital counseling, make sure that your class or session covers the following relationship issues: (Make anappointment privately if your church or synagogue class doesnt cut it. This is important stuff.) Compatibility - With your spouse and future in-laws Expectations - About work-family balance, careers, household responsibilities, time spent together Communication -With your spouse, parents, in-laws Conflict Resolution - How to deal with big and small problems, financial matters, constant bickering, meddling in-laws, etc., Intimacy and Sexuality - Frequency of sexual relations, making time, making love versus just sex Long-Term Goals - Personal, family, and careerMarriage preparation will teach you and your fiancée how to deal with these issues so that they dont become toxic to your relationship. But counseling isnt only about identifying problem areas, its about celebrating your strengths as a couple. Sound cheesy? So what - this is your future and its important that youre prepared for it. Chinese Psychological Society Code of Ethics for Counseling and Clinical Practice
  3. 3. Chinese Psychological Society January, 2006 (First Draft) May, 2006 (Second Draft) January, 2007 (Third Draft) ContentsGeneral Principles .......................................................................... 21. The Professional Relationship ................................................ 32. Privacy and Confidentiality ..................................................... 63. Professional Resposibility ........................................................ 84. Assessment and Evaluation.................................................... 105. Teaching, Training and Supervision .................................... 116. Research and Publication ....................................................... 137. Resolving Ethical Issues ......................................................... 15Glossary of Terms ........................................................................ 17Preamble
  4. 4. This Code of Ethics for clinical and counseling practice is established by ChinesePsychological Society (CPS). This Code of Ethics serves the following purposes: it helpsall the clinical and counseling psychologists, those who seek professional services andthe general public to achieve a better understanding of the core ideas of the professionalethics as well as professional responsibilities in the field of psychotherapy andcounseling practice. It serves an ethical guide designed to guarantee and promote thestandards of the service provided in the field of psychotherapy and counseling practice.It helps to guarantee the rights and interests of those who seek professional service aswell as that of all the clinical and counseling psychologists. It helps promote the mentalhealth status and enhance the welfare and wellbeing of the general public, so as tofacilitate the development of a harmonious society. This Code of Ethics applies for allthe clinical and counseling psychologists registered in CPS and thus serves as a basis forprocessing ethical complaints and inquiries initiated against those who register as aclinical and counseling psychologist in CPS.General PrinciplesBeneficence: The primary purpose of the service provided by clinical and counseling psychologists is to benefit those who seek professional service. Clinical and counseling psychologists should safeguard the rights of those who seek professional service. They should strive to provide the appropriate service to those needed and take great care to avoid harm.Responsibility: Clinical and counseling psychologists should maintain the high standard of their service and take responsibility for their own conducts. They should recognize their professional, ethical and legal responsibilities and maintain the reputation of the profession.Integrity:Clinical and counseling psychologists should strive to promote the honesty and truthfulness of their conducts in their clinical practices, research and teaching activities.Justice: Clinical and counseling psychologists should treat their work and those who work in their own professional field as well as other professionals with fairness and justice. They should take reasonable precaution to prevent inappropriate conducts due to their own potential biases or the limitations of their competencies and the techniques they use.
  5. 5. Respect: Clinical and counseling psychologists should show their respect to every single person and respect the rights of individuals to privacy, confidentiality and self- determination.Ethical standard 1: Professional Relationship Clinical and counseling psychologists should respect those who seek professionalservice and establish good professional working relationship with them in consistentwith the CPS Code of Ethics. This working relationship should serve to encourage thegrowth and development of those who seek professional service in ways that fostertheir interests and welfare.1.1 Clinical and counseling psychologists should not discriminate against those who seek professional service based on age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion and political beliefs, culture, physical conditions, social economic status or any other factors.1.2 Clinical and counseling psychologists should respect the rights of those who seek professional service for informed consent. Before and during the processes of clinical service, clinical and counseling psychologists should first inform those who seek professional service of the related information such as the purpose and aim of this professional service, the nature of the professional relationship, the techniques involved, the nature of the working process, the possible limitations of this professional service, the possible involvement of the interests and rights of the third party, the right of privacy, the possible harms and benefits caused by the professional service.1.3 Clinical and counseling psychologists should receive appropriate fees for their professional service in consistent with the requirements of local governments or their employing agency or institution. Before entering the professional relationship, clinical and counseling psychologists should give clear explanation on the way of establishing their fees to those who seek professional service. They should not receive properties or obtain private fees or remuneration for rendering services, since these conducts are likely to cause conflict, exploitation or impair the professional relationship.1.4 Clinical and counseling psychologists should recognize their own potential influence on those who seek professional service. They should take steps to prevent conditions that may impair trust in the professional relationship or cause dependency on the professional relationship.
  6. 6. 1.5 Clinical and counseling psychologists should respect the personal values of those who seek professional service. They should not make decisions for those who seek professional service or impose their own values on those who seek professional service.1.6 Clinical and counseling psychologists should recognize the potential influence on those who seek professional service due to their own advantageous status. They should not take advantage of the trust or dependency put on them from those who seek professional service to satisfy their own interests or needs,or that of the third party.1.7 Clinical and counseling psychologists should understand that the dual relationship (e.g. develop familial, social, financial, business, or intimate relationship with those who seek professional service) has the potential danger for exerting negative influence on their professional judgment and may cause harm to those who seek professional service. They should avoid entering dual relationship with those who seek professional service. If a certain kind of dual relationship is inevitable, they should take professional prevention measures, such as obtaining formal written informed consent from those who seek professional service, seeking professional supervision, maintaining records and files, to ensure that this kind of dual relationship will not impair their own judgment and cause harm to those who seek professional service.1.8 Clinical and counseling psychologists should not develop sexual and romantic intimate relationship of any kind with those who currently seek professional service from them. They should not provide psychotherapy or counseling for those who once had sexual or romantic intimate relationship with them. If the current professional relationship breaks the professional boundary (e.g. developing a sexual or a romantic intimate relationship with those who are seeking professional service from them), clinical and counseling psychologists should end the professional relationship immediately and take appropriate measures to handle the situation (e.g. seek supervision or consult other colleagues).1.9 Clinical and counseling psychologists are prohibited to develop any sexual or romantic intimate relationship with those who once sought professional service from them for a period of 3 years following the last professional contact. Before engaging in those kinds of relationship after 3 years following the last professional contact, clinical and counseling psychologists should consider carefully the nature of the relationship to ensure that it is not an exploitive relationship and maintain the related legal documents in written form.1.10 Clinical and counseling psychologist should not end or suspend their professional service arbitrarily. During the interruption such as going on errands, taking
  7. 7. vacation or leaving their working place temporarily, they should make proper arrangements for the ongoing counseling and psychotherapy.1.11 If clinical and counseling psychologists believe that they are not appropriate to provide service to those who seek professional service, they should explain to them with clarity and refer them to another appropriate clinical and counseling psychologist or doctor, since they have responsibility for those who seek professional service.1.12 Clinical and counseling psychologists should achieve mutual understanding and respect in their professional interactions. They should also establish active and cooperative professional working relationship with their colleagues to promote the quality of their services.1.13 Clinical and counseling psychologists should respect professionals from other disciplines. They should form an active and cooperative working relationship with professionals from other related disciplines to promote the quality of their services.Ethical standard 2: Privacy and Confidentiality Clinical and counseling psychologists have responsibility to protect the privacy ofthose who seek professional service. Meanwhile, they should also recognize that thecontents and the limitations of this privacy are protected and restricted by national lawsand regulations as well as the professional ethical principles.2.1 At the initiation and throughout the process of their professional service, clinical and counseling psychologists have responsibility to explain the principles of confidentiality as well as its limitations to those who seek professional service. Before the initiation of family therapy, group therapy or other kinds of psychotherapy, they should establish the principles of confidentiality among the counseling or therapeutic groups.2.2 Clinical and counseling psychologists should fully understand the limitations of the confidentiality. The exceptions of the confidentiality include: (1) Clinical and counseling psychologists find out that those who seek professional service are in danger of causing foreseeable and serious harm on themselves or identified others. (2) Those who seek professional service are found to have diseases commonly know to be both communicable and life-threatening and thus may cause harm to others. (3) The cases of sexual abuse or other kinds of abuse involving minors are found. (4) The disclosure of information is demanded by laws.2.3 If the conditions mentioned in 2.2(1), 2.2(2) and 2.2(3) are met, clinical and counseling psychologists have obligation to warn in advance the legal guardian of
  8. 8. those who seek professional service or the identified third party involved. If the condition mentioned in 2.2 (4) is met, clinical and counseling psychologists have the obligation to follow the requirements of the law. However, before the disclosure of any confidential information, clinical and counseling psychologist should demand the formal written documentation or requirement from court or the parties involved as well as the assurance from the court or the parties involved that this disclosure will not cause direct or indirect harm to the clinical professional relationship.2.4 Only after the written form of informed consent is obtained from those who seek professional service, can clinical and counseling psychologists record the process of counseling and psychotherapy through the use of tapes or videos, or demonstrate the process to others.2.5 Information and documentations related to the professional service provided by clinical and counseling psychologists such as case records, assessment and evaluation materials, correspondences, tape records, videotapes or other materials are classified as professional information. These kinds of information should be kept in a secure location and only authorized clinical and counseling psychologists can access to them.2.6 If clinical and counseling psychologists have case discussions of their psychotherapy or counseling cases, or use clinical cases as illustration in teaching, research activities and publications due to the needs of professional purpose, they should prevent the identification of those who seek professional service by omitting the related personal information (except that the formal written informed consent is obtained from those who seek professional service).2.7 Clinical and counseling psychologists should obtain formal written permissions from those who seek professional service before the demonstration of the tape- recordings or the videos of the sessions or the publication of the whole cases.Ethical standard 3: Professional Responsibility Clinical and counseling psychologists should observe the national laws andregulations as well as professional ethical principles. They should also strive to achievean open, honest and accurate attitude in their communication and work. They shouldbase their professional work on the scientific researches and findings. They shouldwork with a responsible attitude within the boundaries of professional and personalcompetence. They should continue to renew and expand their professional knowledge
  9. 9. and actively participant in self-care activities to maintain and promote their psychical,social and mental well-beings to best meet their professional responsibilities.3.1 Clinical and counseling psychologists should provide appropriate and effective professional service to different groups of people within the boundaries of personal competence and in consistent with the levels of their own education, training and supervision experience as well as their work experience.3.2 Clinical and counseling psychologists should fully recognize the importance of continuing education. They should maintain the reasonable awareness of current scientific and professional information in their working field. They should maintain the competence of the skills they use and be open towards new knowledge.3.3 Clinical and counseling psychologists should attend to their professional competence and take reasonable steps to seek the help from professional supervision if needed. If they can not find professional supervision, they should try to seek professional help from their colleagues.3.4 Clinical and counseling psychologists should engage in self-care activities. When they are aware of any personal physical or mental problems that may cause harm to those who seek professional service, they should seek supervision or the help of other professionals. They should be alert of the possibility of causing harm, due to their personal problems, to those who receive their services. If necessary, they should limit, suspend or terminate their clinical practice.3.5 When clinical and counseling psychologists have needs to introduce themselves in their work, they should identify their professional qualifications, educational degrees, and credentials in an accurate and honest manner. If advertisements or presentations of their service are needed, they should present their professional qualifications accurately. They should not depreciate other professionals, or represent oneself or one’s own employing agency or institution in a false, misleading or deceptive manner. Fraudulency is strictly forbidden.3.6 Clinical and counseling psychologists should not take advantage of their professional status to satisfy their personal interests, such as to satisfy their own interests, sexual needs, and unfair exchange of properties or services, or to satisfy those interests and needs of their family members. They should not take advantage of the therapeutic, teaching, training and supervisory relationship to satisfy their additional interests other than reasonable remuneration.
  10. 10. 3.7 If clinical and counseling psychologists need to report their professional work to the third party (e.g. court, insurance company and etc.), they should present their work in an honest, objective and accurate manner.3.8 When clinical and counseling psychologists engage in their professional activities by means of media (e.g. public lectures, demonstrations, radio or television program, newspaper, printed articles, internet and etc.), or provide advice or comment as professionals, they should be aware that their statements should be based on the appropriate professional literature and practice, and respect the facts and objectivity. They should also be aware that their statements and conducts should be consistent with professional ethical principles.Ethical standard 4: Assessment and Evaluation Clinical and counseling psychologists should correctly understand the importanceas well as the role psychological assessment and evaluation played in clinical practice.They should use assessment and evaluation properly. During the process of assessmentand evaluation, clinical and counseling psychologists should consider the personal andcultural background of examinees. They should promote the welfares of those who seekprofessional service by developing and using appropriate educational, psychologicaland career assessment instruments.4.1 The primary purpose of using assessment and evaluation is to promote the welfares of those who seek professional service. Clinical and counseling psychologists should not misuse assessment or evaluation in order to achieve financial interests.4.2 Clinical and counseling psychologists can only use assessment instruments or perform evaluation after they have received related training on psychological assessment and have obtained appropriate knowledge and skills for specific assessment instruments or evaluative methods.4.3 Clinical and counseling psychologists should respect the rights of those who seek professional service for understanding the results of their assessment and evaluation as well as receiving the explanation and interpretation of their results. After assessment or evaluation, they should give explanations of assessment or evaluation results to those examinees in an accurate, objective and understandable manner. They should strive to avoid the misunderstanding of the assessment or evaluation results.4.4 When scoring or giving explanation or interpretation by using certain tests or assessment instruments, or utilizing certain evaluative methods, interviews or other
  11. 11. assessment instruments, clinical and counseling psychologists should use those instruments and methods that have affirmed reliability and validity. If no data concerning the reliability and validity of the assessment instrument or method are available, they should explain the applications and limitations of assessment results and interpretations. They should not make diagnosis entirely based on the results of psychological assessments.4.5 Clinical and counseling psychologists have responsibility to maintain the integrity and security of psychological testing materials (i.e. testing manuals, assessment instruments, contracts and test items) and other assessment instruments. They should not reveal the related testing contents to non-professionals.4.6 Clinical and counseling psychologists should use scientific procedures and professional knowledge to develop assessment instrument, as well as to establish the standardization, reliability and validity of the instrument. They should strive to avoid biases and provide detailed explanation of its usage.Ethical standard 5: Teaching, Training and Supervision Clinical and counseling psychologists should aspire to develop meaningful andrespectful professional relationship. They should show a sincere, serious andresponsible attitude towards teaching, training and supervision activities.5.1 The primary purpose for clinical and counseling psychologists to engage in teaching, training and supervision is to foster the personal and professional growth and development of students, trainees and supervisees and promote their welfares.5.2 Clinical and counseling psychologists who engage in teaching, training and supervision should be familiar with the professional Code of Ethics. They should remind students and supervisees of their professional ethical obligations.5.3 Clinical and counseling psychologists who are responsible for teaching and training should take appropriate steps to properly design and arrange their courses and teaching plans to ensure that teaching and training will provide appropriate knowledge and practice experience as well as meet the requirements of teaching goals or standards of the specific certificate.5.4 Clinical and counseling psychologists who serve as supervisor should explain to their supervisees the purpose, process as well as the method and standards for evaluation of the supervision. They should inform their supervisees of the way for dealing certain conditions during the process of supervision, such as emergencies,
  12. 12. and interruption or termination of the supervisory relationship. They should give regular feedbacks to supervisees during the process of supervision and avoid situations where supervisees may cause harm to those who seek professional service due to the negligence of the supervisor.5.5 When clinical and counseling psychologists who serve as trainers or supervisors evaluate the professional competence of students in training or supervisees, they should take an objective attitude and give their evaluations in an honest, fair and impartial manner.5.6 Clinical and counseling psychologists who serve as trainers or supervisors should clearly define the professional as well as the ethical relationship with their students and supervisees. They are prohibited to form any counseling or therapeutic relationship with their students or supervisees. Sexual or romantic intimate relationships with their students or supervisees are also prohibited. They should not form any supervisory relationship or counseling and therapeutic relationship with professionals who are their relatives or have intimate relationship with them.5.7 Clinical and counseling psychologists who serve as trainers or supervisors should clearly recognize their advantageous status compared with their students or supervisees. They should not take advantage of their status to exploit students or supervisees or to satisfy the interests of their own or that of the third party.Ethical standard 6: Research and Publication Clinical and counseling psychologists are encouraged to engage in professionalresearch activities to make contributions to the development of their professionaldisciplines as well as to facilitate and improve the understanding of related issueswithin their disciplines. When conducting research, clinical and counselingpsychologists should respect the dignity of participants and be aware of the welfare ofparticipants. They should observe scientific standards and ethical principles governingresearch with human research participants.6.1 Clinical and counseling psychologists who conduct research with human participants should respect the basic human rights. They should conduct research in a manner that is consistent with pertinent ethical principles, laws, host institutional regulations and scientific research standards with human participants. They should take responsibility to ensure the security of their participants and take reasonable precaution to avoid causing harm to participants’ interests.
  13. 13. 6.2 Prior to start their research, clinical and counseling psychologists should inform participants or obtain informed consent from participants or guardians of participants. They should explain to participants about the nature, purpose and process of the research, the methods and techniques used in the research, the possible discomfort, confidentiality and its limitations as well as the rights and obligations of both researchers and participants.6.3 Participants are free to choose not to participate in the research or withdraw from the research. Clinical and counseling psychologists are prohibited to force people to participate in their research. They can use involuntary participants only when they are certain that the research will not cause harm to participants, and there is justified need to conduct the research.6.4 Clinical and counseling psychologists should not treat participants in a deceptive or cheating manner unless alternative procedures are not feasible and the prospective value of the research justifies the deception. If the research involves deception, clinical and counseling psychologists should explain the reasons for this action during the debriefing.6.5 If control group is needed in intervention research, after the research, the participants in the control group should be given appropriate treatment.6.6 When writing research reports, clinical and counseling psychologists should provide accurate explanation and discussion about their research designs, processes, results as well as the limitations of the research. They should not use false or distort information or data. They should not conceal those results that are not consistent with their hypotheses or theoretical viewpoints. They should avoid biases or prejudice in the discussions of their research.6.7 When writing research reports, clinical and counseling psychologists should take due care to disguise the identities of respective participants (except that the formal written authorizations from participants are obtained). They should also take care to ensure the confidentiality of the related research materials and keep them in safety.6.8 Clinical and counseling psychologists should not plagiarize in their publication of research paper or book. If they cite ideas or data of other researchers or authors in their own research paper or book, they should acknowledge researchers or authors cited as well as the sources of data.6.9 If the research is jointly done with other colleagues, clinical and counseling psychologists should give credit through appropriate means to other authors in research paper or book published. They should not publish the research paper or
  14. 14. book as their personal work. They should acknowledge and give special credit through appropriate means to those who have made special contributions to the research paper or book. If the research paper or book is substantially based on students’ course papers, dissertations or theses, the students should be listed as principal authors.Ethical standard 7: Resolving Ethical Issues Clinical and counseling psychologists should observe pertinent laws and ethicalprinciples in their professional work. They should try to resolve ethical dilemmas andcommunicate with people involved in a direct and open manner. They should seeksuggestion or help from their colleagues or supervisors if needed. They shouldincorporate ethical practices into their daily professional work.7.1 Clinical and counseling psychologists can obtain CPS Code of Ethics from CPS, or licensure bodies. Lack of related knowledge or misunderstanding of CPS Codes of Ethics is not a defense against a charge of unethical conducts.7.2 Once they are aware of their negligence in their work or misunderstanding of their responsibilities, clinical and counseling psychologists should take reasonable steps to correct their conducts.7.3 If there is a conflict between CPS Code of Ethics and pertinent law and regulations, clinical and counseling psychologists should make known their commitments to CPS Code of Ethics and try to resolve the conflict. If this conflict can not be resolved, clinical and counseling psychologists may adhere to the requirements of law and regulations.7.4 If the demands of their employing agency or institution pose a conflict with CPS Code of Ethics, clinical and counseling psychologists should specify the nature of this conflict and make know their commitments to CPS Code of Ethics. They should resolve this conflict reasonably while keeping their commitments to CPS Code of Ethics.7.5 If they find that their colleagues have violated a professional ethical principle, clinical and counseling psychologists should attempt first to resolve the issue informally with colleagues. If this informal attempt fails, they should report violations through a proper means. If the violation is apparent and has already caused substantial harm, or this violation can not be solved through appropriate informal means, or can not be solved at all, clinical and counseling psychologists should report this violation to CPS Workgroup for Ethics in Clinical and Counseling
  15. 15. Psychology or other appropriate authorities, so as to maintain the reputation of the profession as well as to protect the interests of those who seek professional service. If clinical and counseling psychologists are uncertain whether a specific situation or conduct is an ethical violation, they may seek consultation from CPS Workgroup for Ethics in Clinical and Counseling Psychology or other appropriate authorities.7.6 Clinical and counseling psychologists have responsibility to assist the attempts of CPS Workgroup for Ethics in Clinical and Counseling Psychology to investigate possible unethical conducts and to take actions towards such conducts. Clinical and counseling psychologists should be familiar with pertinent procedures and policies for processing complaints of ethical violations.7.7 CPS Code of Ethics is against filing complaints of ethical violations in an unfair and injustice manner or as a means to take revenge.7.8 CPS Workgroup for Ethics in Clinical and Counseling Psychology is affiliated to CPS. The functions of this workgroup are to enforce CPS Code of Ethics, to accept filings of complaints of ethical violations, to provide explanations and interpretations related to CPS Code of Ethics, as well as to process cases of professional ethical violations.Glossary of Terms Clients Who Seek Professional Help: it refers to a client or a patient, or otherkinds of people who seek professional help for counseling or psychotherapy. Clinical and Counseling Psychologist: It refers to a professional practitioner whohas learned the professional knowledge of clinical psychology or counselingpsychology in a systematic way; received the professional trainings on the skills ofcounseling and psychotherapy as well as supervisions over his/her practice oncounseling or psychotherapy; is currently practicing counseling and psychotherapy;meets the related register criteria for clinical and counseling psychologists in theCriteria; and has valid registration in CPS. The Clinical and counseling psychologistincludes the clinical psychologist and the counseling psychologist. In the Criteria, thespecific definition of the clinical psychologist or counseling psychologist depends onhow the academic degree program the candidate received defines itself. Clinical Psychology: It is one of the branches of psychology. It provides bothknowledge of psychology and means of utilizing the knowledge to understand andpromote mental health, physical health and social adaptation of individuals andgroups. Clinical psychology has its emphasis on research about psychological problemsof individuals and groups, in addition to treatment of severe mental disorders.
  16. 16. Counseling: It refers to a process of providing help to clients who seek professionalhelp because of their general psychological problems, based on good counselingrelationship, and conducted by professionally trained counseling psychologists, usingrelated theories and techniques of counseling psychology. It aims to eliminate oralleviate the psychological problems of clients who seek professional help in addition topromoting their good adaptation and integrated development. Counseling Psychology: It is one of the branches of psychology. It utilizes theknowledge of psychology to understand and promote mental health, physical healthand social adaptation of individuals and groups. Counseling psychology has itsemphasis on individual’s general complaints in his/her daily lives in addition topromoting individual’s good adaptation and coping. Dual Relationship: It refers to a condition when besides the therapeuticrelationship, a clinical and counseling psychologist engages with clients who seekprofessional help in another kind of interpersonal relationship that has thecharacteristics such as interests and intimate emotional interaction. If two or more thantwo kinds of social relationship besides the therapeutic relationship are presented, it isthen called multiple relationships. Exploitation: In this Code of Ethics, it refers to acts of an individual or a group thattake possess of others labor production without payment, or take advantage of any kindof material, economic and psychological resources belonging to others to make profitsor to achieve psychological satisfactions, under the condition of violating others’ wishesor not making others informed of the acts. Psychotherapy: It refers to a process of providing help to clients who suffer frommental disorders, based on good therapeutic relationship, and conducted byprofessionally trained clinical psychologists using related theories and techniques ofclinical psychology. It aims to eliminate or alleviate the psychological problems ormental disorders of clients who seek professional help in addition to promoting thehealthy and integrated development of their personalities. Supervisor: It refers to a senior clinical and counseling psychologist who currentlyserves as a teacher, a trainer and a supervisor in the field of clinical and counselingpsychology; meets the related register criteria for supervisors in the Criteria as well ashas valid registration in CPS. Welfare: In this Code of Ethics, it refers to seeking the health, psychological growthand well-being of clients who seek professional help.Premarital CounselingWhat is it and what to expectwritten by : Jennifer Foust M.S., LPCPre-marital counseling is exactly what it sounds like, participating in counseling before entering into a maritalcommitment. Specifically, there are two goals of pre-marital counseling. The first is to help couples develop a
  17. 17. framework for discussing issues that all couples must grapple with. Specific topics that will be covered are thefollowing: money, sex, parenting, work, in-laws, daily household needs, and friends. The second goal is ensuring thatcouples have the skill set needed to resolve their differences.Many people don’t think of attending counseling unless they have a specific problem or concern. Some people areapprehensive about the idea of seeing a therapist, particularly when everything is going well. Many people believeonly couples in trouble go to counseling. Pre-marital counseling is geared towards healthy couples. The reasoncouples seek out pre-marital counseling is because it helps them prepare for the adjustments to married life. Whetheryou have been married before or never been married and whether you already live together or have never livedtogether, getting married is an adjustment. Even couples who have been together for many years may find it to be abig adjustment. Some couples who live together before marriage are surprised how their relationship feels differentafter the ceremony. WHILE YOU MAY NOT HAVE CHANGED, THE OUTSIDE WORLD TREATS YOUDIFFERENTLY. Anticipating this transition as well as being aware of how you tend to cope with change can be veryhelpful.The first task is to help couples identify potential concerns in their relationship. The second task is to help couplesdevelop the skills needed to resolve their disagreements. It is our belief that the key to a successful marriage is notabout how a couple fights, but rather how a couple resolves a fight.The benefits of pre-marital counseling is that there is an outside person who is challenging each of you to exploredifferent issues that on your own, you might not have even considered important to discuss. For example: What is your expectation of marriage? What role do you see yourself playing? What role do you see your partner playing? How much time do you spend with your parents, siblings and friends? What type of relationship is each of you expecting to have with ones’ in-laws? Should they be allowed keys to the house? How are you going to handle your finances? Are you going to have one checking account or more? Who is going to be in charge of paying the bills? How will you negotiate recreational spending? How will you make time for each other regularly, especially if you work a lot or have children? How will you make time for intimacy and sex? How will you divide the household needs such as cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, and laundry?Each person coming into a marriage brings along a set of expectations for what married life is like and how it issupposed to be. These expectations often come from our parent’s relationship, other families that we have spent timewith, or cultural and religious beliefs about what a committed relationship is supposed to look like. You may not beaware of these expectations and just assume that everyone feels and thinks about marriage the same way that youdo. More importantly, you may assume that your partner has the same ideas and expectations that you do. Pre-marital counseling helps each of you acknowledge the contract that you are making to the other out loud. Forexample, I am marrying Joe because he wants a large family and will allow me to be a stay at home mom. I ammarrying Sue because she will save me from being lonely. Or I am marrying my partner because she/he makes goodmoney, and I never want to worry about money again. Pre-marital counseling helps you identify your hidden contract– what typically does not get said.To test your awareness of the marital contract, try the following exercise: On a piece of paper, write down yourideas of the ideal marriage. Include how much time you would spend with your partner doing things together, how youwould share daily responsibilities, how you would handle children (if you desire to have them), how often you wouldhave sex, etc. Also think about others’ relationships that you know of that you admire and what it is about them thatyou like and write those things down. Then write down what you don’t want your marriage to look like. Again, thinkabout some relationships that you know of and think about what characteristics that have that you don’t like. Ask yourpartner to complete the same exercise. When you are both finished begin the exercise again, but this time write downthe answers to the way that you think you partner will answer them. Then share your ideas with each other. Discussthe ways in which you accurately predicted your partner’s answers. In what way were your partners’ answers similarto yours, and how were they different? By voicing and discussing your expectations and beliefs, couples can preventmany unnecessary problems and misunderstandings. Counseling can also be very effective in helping couplescommunicate about these expectations and beliefs in a safe non-threatening environment. Even couples who aremore aware of their own and their partners’ expectations can benefit from counseling to negotiate any potentialdifficulties.
  18. 18. Premarital Counseling . . . . . .What is pre-marital counseling? If youre reading this, its likely that youre about to embarkon a new life with someone special. Pre-marital counseling is one way to help insure that your loveis protected in ways that help it flourish and grow.By taking the time to explore the reasons you came together, your similarities, your differences,your hopes and your dreams, as well as your expectations of one another, it is sometimes possibleto avoid the disappointments that many couples face with the passage of time.Pre-marital counseling offers the opportunity to explore your differences in a relatively safe,supportive, constructive environment. And while some couples may choose to postpone theirunion until key differences can be resolved, most couples find that pre-marital counseling helps toprepare them for the kind of life they would like to build together.What happens in pre-marital counseling? There is no one standard program for pre-maritalcounseling. Pre-marital counseling programs differ in everything from the number and length ofsessions provided to their content and configuration (i.e., whether counselors meet with individualsin a relationship or if they simply meet with the couple as a whole). As with most forms of therapy,pre-marital counselors and clergyman typically personalize their approach to accommodate theirown personal style and the needs of the people they serve.After twenty-plus years of doing couples counseling, Ive developed a healthy respect for thefragility of relationships that is reflected in the pre-marital counseling model I have chosen. Mywork has led me to believe that most relationships fail for one of two reasons: 1) people areunaware of or choose to ignore core differences in who they are and what the want from life; 2) andperhaps more importantly, people lack the skills to resolve their differences and grow through theinevitable disappointments that life hands them. It is my belief that many otherwise wonderfulrelationships fail because people are both unaware of their differences and lack the skills to resolvethem in constructive ways.Pre-marital Counseling Model. My model of pre-marital counseling evolved in an effort to addressthe threats to happiness outlined above through a combination of: 1. Assessment and exploration of personal goals and individual differences 2. Skills training in key relationship areas and 3. Development of a long-term plan of action to help you keep your love alive.You will be asked to complete surveys designed to identify your similarities, differences, personalstrengths, personal weaknesses and expectations of your relationship; to review essentialrelationship skills and practice them between sessions; and actively participate in the developmentof an ongoing plan to help you protect your love.How often will you need to come? I typically ask people to commit to five 45 minute sessionsfor pre-marital counseling. The actual number of sessions can vary upward or downwarddepending on your previous relationship experience, skill level, goals and/or present concerns.The cost of the basic five session program is $765.00. Additional sessions are $145.00/45 min.session.Feel free to contact me at my office for more information: (425) 455-5400.Post-Marital CounsellingThe program offers the benefits of a workshop, but does so in a three-hour private session. It willbe like having your own personalized workshop. You will be given a workbook to take home withyou afterwards. The workbook includes some experiential learning activities and explanatory.In this Couple-to-Couple session (we work as a husband-and-wife co-Counselling team), you willhave the opportunity to discuss openly any personal concerns that you may have.
  19. 19. Youll explore some of the challenges that newlyweds -- and in fact, all couples -- face. You willlearn how to grow together as individuals, while maintaining an emotionally close and committedrelationship. And youll come away from the session with new insights and valuable skills to helpmove your relationship forward.If there are issues that you still need to address once you have completed the program, you maycontinue by visiting us periodically for a Couple to Couple session.The First SessionStep One: IntakeIt is useful to collect some basic information at the start of the first session, such as the number of years thecouple has been together, the current living situation, special health issues, prior counseling experiences,employment, and special interests. While the therapist is recording this information, he or she should make amental note of how the partners relate to one another. The intake also offers the couple a chance to becomecomfortable with the therapist.Step Two: Goals and Why Therapists Are Not RefereesCouples often arrive at the session believing that each partner will be laying out his or her “position” and thetherapist will act as a referee to decide who is right. The therapist should inform them that it is not a matterof one person being right or wrong, since both partners make sense from their perspective. Rather, they willbe learning a new method of communication so they can better understand each other in the office andincorporate this process into their relationship at home. We tell them the process will work if they “arewilling to try on some new ideas.” By pointing out the importance of the “we” and not the “me” in theirrelationship, they begin to understand that we expect both to participate by making changes. This meansthat counseling is a joint venture to better understand the relationship rather than an adversarial one.Step Three: How Our Brain Impacts the DishwasherTalking to the couple about basic brain functions and how the 100 billion neurons in their brains makedecisions helps them to think of therapy as a conscious exercise. They should become detectives trying tofigure out how to help “this couple,” who happens to be themselves, just as they might be athletes learninghow to build their muscles at the gym.We talk to the couple about the neurons housed in the analytical area of their brain, the neocortex, whichhelped them find the way to our office, vs. the neurons of their emotional brain, the limbic system, whichthey use to experience joy, love, and ecstasy, as well as anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear.We let them know that when Kenneth says to Marilyn: “That’s no way to load the dishwasher,” he may bethinking he is speaking from his analytical brain to hers, but in fact, he is stirring her limbic system. Shereacts emotionally and, in turn, stirs his emotions. This small incident can blowup into their War of theRoses.Step Four: The SunAppreciations are to a relationship as the sun and rain are to a flower. They trigger the happy neurons in thelimbic system and bring couples closer together. The following is a simple exercise to foster positivechanges:• Ask the couple to face one another. (The path to the heart is through the eyes.)• The first partner (the sender) is asked to state one thing he or she likes about his or her partner. Forexample, “I really love your sense of humor and how you enliven parties with your jokes.”• The second partner (the receiver) mirrors this appreciation. “So you really appreciate how I have a sense ofhumor and entertain friends at a party?”• Then we ask the sender to deepen the appreciation by using the sentence stem, “This is so special to mebecause…” He or she says, “This is so special to me because it makes me feel warm and cozy and I amproud I married you.” The receiver again mirrors the comment.• The process is repeated with the second partner offering an appreciation.Most couples who come to therapy have not heard appreciations from their partner for months or years, sothis exercise sets the tone for rebuilding warm feelings and trust. Couples are asked to offer at least oneappreciation each day at home and prepare one to begin each therapy session. They are told thatappreciations should not be wrapped in frustrations, such as, “I appreciate that you finally took out thetrash.”Step Five: A Conscious RelationshipA conscious relationship requires each person to recognize their own role and reactivity levels whenconflicts arise, as well as to become aware of their partner’s thoughts and feelings. After living with conflicts
  20. 20. for so long and having to defend their own ego against attacks, the therapist needs to help them to trulylisten and understand what their partner is thinking and feeling.The following exercise works amazingly well to help one partner get into the mind of the other:• Again the couple faces each other. The sender is asked to offer a one-sentence “guess” as to why he thinkshis partner decided to come to this appointment. For example, “I think you came to this session so thetherapist can teach me how to be nice to you.”• Regardless of whether it is true, the receiver mirrors it: “So you think I came to therapy so you’ll learn howto be nice to me?”• The sender keeps adding more reasons, such as, “I think you are also here because you love me and wantour marriage to survive.” This, too, is mirrored by the partner.• After the sender completes all his or her guesses and each are mirrored, the receiver is then asked to addto or correct the sender’s guesses. The partner may say, “It is true I’m here to save our marriage, but it’s nota matter of being nice to me. It is more a matter of learning how to talk to each other.”This guessing game for both partners becomes a vehicle for looking into each other’s minds in a safe way. Italso reveals some of the major issues that will be explored in future sessions. The process helps couplesunderstand how their own behavior has a positive or negative impact on the relationship.Step Six: Summarizing the Session and Preparing for the FutureTo end the session, each partner is asked for their thoughts about the session and what they can personallydo before the next appointment to improve the relationship. This information helps the therapist plan for thefuture.The therapist should also advise the couple to do the following:• Offer each other at least one formal daily appreciation.• Avoid “atomic bomb” issues when they are at home and save these issues for office sessions.• Avoid talking to friends or family about their conflicts since others are likely to support only one’s point ofview and that will further emotionally separate the couple. Instead, they may just inform a few who need toknow that they are receiving counseling to improve their relationship.Future SessionsIn future sessions, couples need to continue learning to understand each other’s desires, feelings, andthoughts. The Imago Relationship method of therapy developed by Harville Hendrix, PhD, is a powerfulprocess for this purpose. It uses the mirroring technique along with couples validating and empathizing eachother. For example, a partner may state, “It makes sense you would be upset that I came home at 7 because Ihad told you I would be home at 6, and this probably made you feel anxious, lonely, and angry.”Therapists can coach couples to use this stem: “It makes sense that you would be upset because...” and askthe sender to think of the reasons. Again, it helps couples to think outside themselves and improves therelationship. People begin to understand that their partner truly loves and cares about them as a dear friend.Along with continual dialogue and mirroring, there are a variety of other communication tools that can beused during sessions. One is constructing genograms to enable partners to understand how each developedvalues through their families. The genogram, which displays on a board a family tree going back tograndparents, reveals the lifetime growth of an individual’s feelings and behavior. Couples often experiencerevelations that improve their understanding of their current relationship when they explore their genogram.Another useful communication tool is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator that helps couples understand howcharacter differences can cause conflict yet serve to energize the relationship. Couples begin to realize thathaving different character traits adds spice to a relationship that may otherwise be bland.As couples listen and express more positive feelings, they develop trust and feel closer. Neural scientistsfind this physically changes brain neurons, with more “loving cells” being created and fewer cells holdinganger. Hendrix puts it this way: “Through daily repetition of positive behaviors, our old brain [limbic system]repatterns its image of our partners, and we again become a source of pleasure for each other.”Beverly and I leave couples with a new rule to replace the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule states: “Do untoothers as you would have them to do unto you.” This doesn’t work very well when I order anchovies onBeverly’s pizza (which I love, but she is not fond of), and she buys yogurt for me (which she loves but whichcauses havoc to my taste buds).Instead, we ask couples to adopt the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they would like you to do untothem.” It’s amazing how one motto can bring happiness and harmony over many, many years.
  21. 21. Qualities of a Healthy MarriageSeveral social scientists, in examining “healthy marriages,” have identified a number of traits, qualities and skills ofpeople who had been able to maintain successful, satisfying relationships. These people:1. Share a healthy philosophy of life with clear ideals2. Are growing in friendship and respect as well as love for each other3. Share many interests and activities together4. Enjoy each other’s company5. Are trusting and trustworthy, are interpersonally honest yet tactful6. Are interdependent7. Are proud of each other’s achievements, and give realistic praise8. Are interested in and respect each other’s work9. Share in decision making10. Try to share and make monotonous work interesting, such as household chores11. Have realistic hopes linked to attainable goals12. Take responsibility for decisions and behavior
  22. 22. 13. Will, if education is needed to reach goals, patiently delay marriage to continue their schooling14. Have a mindset which sees problems as challenges to be solved15. Have usually been seriously interested in at least three other possible mates before making their final choice, and have affected “break-ups” in non-destructive ways16. Are able to live within their financial means17. Are ware of their weaknesses and show efforts at constructive change18. Use criticism wisely, but maintain a balance in which there is more praise than criticism19. Are "real" people, genuine and authentic20. Find that the growing relationship helps each person become more sure of him/herself21. Engage in healthy physical activities – get adequate nutrition, exercise and sleep22. Restrict their use of sarcasm, nagging, embarrassment and complaining23. Enjoy talking and listening to one another, even when discussing areas of conflict24. Experienced courtships that were not frantic or rushed (over 60% of the early divorces were due to hurried marriages- where the couples were very young, not well acquainted, and where the engagement period was very short)25. Are empathic and attempt to understand and meet their partner’s needs26. Did not elope (4/5 of couples who elope, divorce)27. Enjoy giving of themselves to others – they desire to give as well as to get28. Used their courtship time to thoroughly get acquainted, and grow in love29. Carefully consider the issues that face them, evaluating the pros and cons of alternatives. They try not to jump to hasty conclusions regarding important relationship issues30. Marry out of respect and affection, not out of pity or sympathy31. Enjoy each other’s families, in spite of their possible faults32. Talked through a number of sexual issues during their engagement period33. Enjoy a healthy, non-destructive and appropriate use of humor34. Are satisfied with the amount of affection demonstrated in their relationship35. Try to change personal habits that are irritating to their spouse36. Try not to dwell on past mistakes, but look ahead to ways of avoiding similar situations in the future37. Are able to forgive and receive forgiveness from one another Love Support Tolerance Communication Realistic expectations Caring Nurturing Sense of humor Commitment Respect Know how to handle conflict Problem solve together Interdependence Caring Enjoy one another Have fun togetherSuggested Reading Marriage Qualities Survey Keys for SuccessElsewhere on the Web Daily Temperature ReadingRelated Articles Marriage Qualities Survey Results Is a Second Time Around Realistic? -- Make Your Second Marriage Successful
  23. 23. Marriage, - QuickTips Elaborate Marriage Proposals -- Do Elaborate Marriage Proposals Destroy the... Guides since 1997Sheri & Bob StritofMarriage Guides Sign up for our Newsletter Our Blog Our ForumThe Importance of Marriage CounselingSunday, 18 February 2007 - Sandra StammbergerIn a marriage, no one cannot escape from the reality that quirks appear sometimes. This isnormal for a marriage to encounter this matter. However, there are few couples who cannothandle the situation but are willing to save their relationship. In this matter, they will still choosea decision to keep their relationship. Marriage is very important most specially if there are kidsin the family. If they cant handle it, they can ask somebody to help them. They should seekprofessional help from marriage counselors.Marriage is obviously a tough thing to handle. In many cases one partner will seek professionaladvices more than the other. This is very important and also a good way to handle marriageproblem. It is healthy that one has the strength to undertake marriage counseling by attendingsessions, opens up the problem, listens carefully with the professional advises and follow itcorrectly.Counseling is a form of confrontation that talks about the problem on marriage. Couplesometimes experience difficulties in dealing with the married life. A counselor is of good help tothem as he or she opens up and touches lives to bring out things that in many ways affect theharmonious relationship of both parties.It is very important to choose a marriage counselor to which you can relay all your marriageproblems. You should feel comfortable with this person so you can convey trust in the counselor.You must check the credentials of the person you want to help you with your concern. Youchoose clear out your mind before going to counselors. It is also important to ask yourself withthe reason why you want to undergo counseling. Aside from that you must set the things that youwant to achieve. You must be willing to give your best to be able to help yourself as well.Before you undergo this kind of counseling, you must be determined to change whatever isavailable for you to change. You must be willing to change yourself for the better. Get away with
  24. 24. your anxiety and listen carefully to what the counselor tells you. A good persona guides a personwho is under anxiety to the process of making the needed changes.Many people want to experience instant gratification without undergoing the different process.This is impossible; one must be willing to undertake processes to successfully attain the maingoal. Of course, it will take time and persuasions. But soon after, you will experience the benefitof it. It is important to realize that your problem is not happening all the time therefore it willreally take time to overcome it.The most important thing in a successful marriage is having faith and trust to one another.Whatever issues that a married couple experiences, they can overcome it if they want them to.You should always believe that problems can be solved for the improvement of yourrelationship. In this point counseling is needed badly to keep the marriage together.Counseling is a very useful tool in seeking the most reasons to keep the marriage. You shouldrealize that perfection also does not exist in a married life. So, what ever the situation is, alwaysinvolve yourself in the counseling process. Have faith, be patient and life a happy married life.