“The process of assisting and guiding clients, especially by a trained person on a professional basis, to resolve especially personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties.” According to Jan Sutton and William Stewart in 2008 Learning to Counsel: Develop the Skills, Insight and knowledge to counsel others.

1. 3/3/22
CounselingForWomenAnd
Distress

2. 1 Abstract …………………………………………………………………………………………….
2 Introduction ……………………………………………………………………………………..
3 Define Counseling …………………………………………………………………………….
4 Point of view of FRANK PARSON………………………………………………………..
5 Counseling Skills ……………………………………………………………………………….
6 Counseling and learning skills……………………………………………………………
7 Types of skills …………………………………………………………………………………..
8 ATTENDING IN COUNSELLING ………………………………………………………….
9 Key aspects of attending ………………………………………………………………..…
10 Active Listening …………………………………………………………………………………
11 Ground skills of counseling active listening ……………………………………….
12 Conclusion …………………………………………………………………………………………
13 References …………………………………………………………………………………………

3. This Assignment topic assigned me by Department of Gender Studies,
Subject from Counseling for women and Distress. In this paper I will
definitely try to explain counseling, its skills, and Responding into
counseling, attending skills, and in the end I will explain active listening.
Here is explanations of counseling goals. The goal of counseling is to
enable the individual to make critical decisions regarding alternative
courses of action without outside influence. Counseling will help
individuals obtain information, and to clarify emotional concerns that
may interfere with or be related to the decisions involved. Counseling
means assisting and guiding clients, responding means Respond is
defined as to answer or reply or to act in return. And Active listening
means hear with fully focused pay attention.
Introduction
The process of assisting and guiding clients, especially by a trained
person on a professional basis, to resolve especially personal, social, or
psychological problems and difficulties.
According to Jan Sutton and William Stewart in2008 Learning to Counsel:
Develop the Skills, Insight and knowledge to counsel others.
On the other hand according to him

4. As counseling skills Supportive listening. Clients feel heard, understood,
and affirmed.
Managing a problem situation. Clients often need help tackling a specific,
problematic situation. Problem management. Strengthening
insufficiently strong skills. Enhancing skill strength goals.
Frank Parsons is referred to as the “Father of Guidance.” At the turn of
the last century, Parsons worked with young people in helping them
make decisions concerning their vocations.
Why attending is an important counselling skill
Smaby and Maddux (2011) suggest that attending is a form of social
proofing, allowing the client (or the helped) to assess if the person in
front of them is ready and able to help them.
1. What are counseling skills?
Counseling skills are soft (interpersonal) and hard (technical) attributes
that a counselor puts to use in order to best help their clients work
through personal issues and overcome obstacles that are currently
preventing them from living a full and happy life.
Examples of counseling skills
There are a variety of skills that are beneficial to a counselor's
understanding of their client, and to the client's overall comfort and
willingness to be vulnerable about their personal hardships.
Active listening is an important skill for a counselor to have. It can be
defined as the use of eye contact, facial expressions and gestures to
imply that you are engaged and focused on the information the other

5. person is saying. It can help a client feel like they've been heard and
validated in the information they chose to share.
There are two types of questioning styles that a counselor should be
able to utilize—open questioning and closed questioning. Being skilled
in questioning techniques can help a counselor to better interpret what
a client is saying and it can help them think more deeply into their
personal situation as well.
Open questioning includes all questioning that is directed toward
gathering more detailed and complex information.
Closed questioning is directed toward more short-ended questions with
specific answers.
Counselors should be able to interpret vague information that a client
shares and place it within the context of what they are going through.
Phrases like "I'm just so tired," or "I'm on edge all the time," constitute
further information, and it is up to the counselor to interpret this
information.
Similar to information interpretation, counselors should be able to
identify current attitudes or feelings based upon the body language that
a client uses during the session.
Counselors need to be aware of how their body language, gestures and
tone of voice can affect their client and their willingness to talk about the

6. situation. Having good self-awareness can keep a counselor from
accidentally exhibiting signs of boredom, frustration or judgment.
An important skill for a counselor is to be able to build and maintain trust
with their clients. This can affect a client's willingness to share
information.
A counselor needs to be able to see a client's situation from their
perspective in order to best help them overcome their obstacles.
Another skill that can be specific to counselors is the ability to
emotionally compartmentalize themselves from their clients and
maintain professional boundaries in order to continue healthy client
relationships.
Counseling and listening skills
Counseling thrives on communication between the Counselor and
the Client for any meaningful result of the interaction. It is the duty of a
Counselor to respond to the messages of the client which are usually
verbal and non- verbal in the process of their interaction.
The Counselor does this by listening to the client, gathered the necessary
information and then responds appropriately. Listening and responding
to client’s talk is the key functions of the counselor. The ability to listen
and respond to messages is the core of interaction by individuals. When
the counselor and the client perceived their interaction to be flowing,
then there is effective listening and responding in their interaction.

7. Definition of Listening & Listening Skills
1. Importance of Listening Skills
2. Types of Listening Skills
3. Effective Listening
4. Features of Listening
5. Process of Listening
6. Techniques of Listening Skills…
7. Much more
Process of Listening
 Understanding
 Remembering
 Receiving
 Responding
 Evaluating
Techniques of Listening Skills
Focus on key-points.
Being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages.
Listen with an open mind.
Avoid false attention and pretending to listen.
Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying question.
Be attentive, but relaxed.
Listening Pitfalls

8. Appearance and delivery
Separating ideas from facts
Interrupting o Pretending
Distraction
Be a Whole Body Listener
Rules of Good Listening
Stop talking
Stop thinking
Remove Distractions
Do not let your Mind Wander
Do not Pre-judge
Be Patient
Empathize with the speaker
ATTENDING IN COUNSELLING
Attending is the first skill a trainee counsellor learns. It is
the base that other skills can be built on and used.
Good attending will show the client that they are respected
and encourage them to talk about their thoughts and feelings.

9. It also shows they are being listened to and taken seriously. Being
attentive means the counsellor is giving the client their full
focus, paying attention to what the client is saying, doing, the tone of
voice used and body language.
Key aspects of attending or The SKILL OF ATTENDING EXPLAINED
o Eye contact
o Body language
o Gestures
o Facial expressions
o Tone of voice
Define Eye Contact
Looking directly at someone demonstrates they have your full attention
and you are listening to them. Be thoughtful not to stare intently, as this
can make a person feel uncomfortable. Just be natural and yourself. Be
mindful that in some cultures eye contact can be seen as disrespectful.
Body Language
Be considerate of your posture. Being relaxed is a great way to invite
someone to talk about themselves! Leaning slightly forward in the chair
demonstrates that you are giving your full attention, actively listening to
what your client is saying.
Gestures
You communicate so much in your body movements. For example,
sitting with your arms and legs crossed, hunched up, can give the

10. impression that you have put a barrier up and are not listening or
interested. Waving your arms about can also be very distracting.
Facial Expressions
A good listener will be thoughtful of their facial expressions. Frowning
or raising eyebrows can transmit revulsion or judgment which may shut
the client down, while smiling at appropriate times demonstrates human
warmth which helps build trust and develops rapport.
Active Listening
Active listening is a pattern of listening that keeps you engaged
with your conversation partner in a positive way. It is the process of
listening attentively while someone else speaks, paraphrasing and
reflecting back what is said, and withholding judgment and advice.
Why is active listening important?
Active listening builds strong relationships and, while it may not
come naturally to many of us, it's an invaluable communication skill.
Strong and effective communication skills are essential in a field where
emotions often reach critical mass.

11. By Definition of Active Listening?
Listening is a physical and psychological process that involves acquiring,
assigning, meaning, and responding to symbolic messages.
According to Okobia (1991)
From the book COUNSELLING COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Genuinely interested in helping the client to solve his problem. The client
is unconditionally accepted, regarded, and valued.
Active listening is a communication skill that is fundamental for effective
counselling relationship.
The ground skills which help counsellors in active listening include:
Empathy, awareness of body language, posture, tone of voice, words and
body language and the client‘s body language. Appropriate questioning
(closed questions, open questions, multiple and frequent questions) and
silence are two other basic skills which the counselling psychologist must
be conversant with.
Empathy
Empathic responding is a vital part of active listening- hearing what the
client says from the internal frame of reference and responding in such
a way that the client knows and feels that the counsellor is striving to
understand.
Examples of Empathy:-
walking in another‘s shoes,
entering into another person‘s frame of reference,

12. Aspects of self: values, thoughts, meanings ‘feelings, cultural influences,
experiences and perceptions
Empathy not sympathy
 Sympathy involves understanding from our own perspective. It is
feeling of pity or sorrow for someone else.
 Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of
another. Empathy is sometimes confused with sympathy.
When we feel sympathy for someone we view them with pity.
Awareness of body language
It is assists us in understanding and decoding what the person is saying.
The individual‘s inner emotional state is communicated through our
bodies. The messages through body movement, the intonation of one‘s
voice, facial expressions, posture, gestures and eye contact.
Posture
By definition Posture is the position in which we hold our body while
standing, sitting or lying down.
The tone of voice
The tone of one’s voice also acts as an indicator of the individual‘s
thoughts and attitudes.
Words
People use specific words to communicate inner emotions. It is more
difficult to say to another, I completely lost control and I was
destructive in my behavior ‘than I was in a rage.
1) The word rage ‘says a lot more than angry.
2) Joy is more revealing than happy

13. Words and body language According to Albert Mehraban is known for
his breakdown of human communication into7% spoken words, 38%
tone of voice And 55% body language the client's body language.
While I as counsellor need to be aware of our body language, it is also
myself work to decode, understand and interpret the body language of
our client.
Facial expression can inform us about hidden feelings.
For examples.
 He is angry
 He is upset and near to tear
 Head is down
 Use of Questions
Think about how you respond when others come to you for help,
advice or general succor.
Questions
Do you fire a lot of questions at them, questions like: 'What's wrong?‘
'Why are you so upset?', 'Is it something she or he has said to you?‘
Closed questions that can be answered with a short, fixed response.
For example “Yes, or No”
Open questions are valuable because they enable the expression of
thoughts, feelings and personal meanings.
Questions to ask about your questions
Silence

14. Managing silence means having the ability to recognize a constructive
silence. A golden rule while counselling is to use their ears and eyes more
than your mouth.
According to Judith Butler Silence in counseling allows the client to
speak about their issues without interruption and the process their
thoughts and feelings without destruction.
CONCLUSION
To enhance effective communication, there is need to develop an
awareness of the importance of the speaker’s and listener’s attitudes to
conversations. Counselling is a communication process between the
counselor and client in exploring the problems of the client in order to
resolve it. The function of the Counselor in the process of interaction with
the client is tolisten and respond appropriately to the message being sent
which could be verbal, para-verbal or vocal auditory or non-verbal
components in nature. It is therefore required of him to listen, identify,
interpret, understand and respond appropriately to the verbal and non-
verbal messages which the client have sent. Thus, when the counselor
receives (listen to) a message from the client and respond correctly, the
communication with the client will be deeper and more open. The two
will explore the problems and help could be easier to give. Counselors
therefore, need to learn and acquired mastering of all communication
components in order to understand their clients better and relate well
with them by responding appropriately.