MARRIAGE
COUNSELING
Dr. Garima Gupta
Assistant Professor
Department of Psychology
Arya Mahila PG College
(Admitted to the privileges of BHU)
Varanasi
1
History
of
Marriage
Counselling
2
• Marriage counselling was originated in Germany in the 1920s as part
of the eugenics movement. The first institutes for marriage
counselling was established at United States in 1930s, partly in
response to Germany's medically directed, racial purification marriage
counselling centres.
• American eugenicists, Paul Popenoe, director of American Institute of
Family Relations, 1976, and Robert Latou Dickinson along with the
contribution of Abraham and Hannah Stone who advocated birth
control and wrote A Marriage Manual in 1935 and were involved with
Planned Parenthood. Other founders include Lena Levine and
Margaret Sanger from United States too.
• The thought behind establishing marriage counselling was that
marriage rates supposedly were on the decline. While it’s an oft-
repeated statistic that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce,
that number has remained unchanged for the past 30 years. However,
the rate of Divorce also vary with the partners’ level of education,
religious beliefs, and many other factors.
3
• When divorce does happen, it creates a lot of
difficulties amongst both adults as well as children.
For adults, divorce may be one of life’s extreme
stressful life events. Many decision to divorce
usually met with ambivalence and uncertainty
regarding the future. For children of divorcees, they
may experience negative effects for example, denial,
feelings of abandonment, anger, blame, guilt,
depression, confusions, preoccupation with
reconciliation, and acting out.
• However, for many people the decision of divorce
may be necessary and the healthiest choice. There
are few who may wish to try to salvage whatever is
left of the union.
4
What is Marriage
Counseling?
5
• Marriage counselling, also called couples therapy and marriage
and family therapy, is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on
improving your communication and conflict-resolution skills.
• Marriage counselling helps couples in a marriage to identify the
problems in their relationship, resolve their conflicts, and
improve their relationship.
• Marriage counselling provides couples, a tool to communicate
better, negotiate differences, solve their problems or if in case
argue in a healthier way.
• It is an interaction between a therapist and the couples, in which
the therapist listens to couple’s problems and assists them to
understand their relationship better, resolve conflicts and
satisfaction by applying a variety of therapeutic interventions.
These therapies can be provided by the experienced and
licensed therapists who would have a deep understanding of the
different relationships.
6
• Usually a licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists
provide assistance to the couples. These therapists provide the same
mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus is on
couple's relationship. Marriage and family counselling gives you an
appropriate and thoughtful decisions about mending your relationship or
parting your ways. Marriage counselling can help couples at various stages
of their relationship, such as premarital, post-marriage, family planning,
and when kids are growing.
• Marriage counselling is generally for short term. During the counselling, at
times, only one partner works with the therapist to improve the
relationship.
• However, for few, it may go long or several months, specially if the
relationship has hugely deteriorated.
• Many people also opt for counselling to strengthen their relationship, in
general.
• Premarital counselling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of
each other and iron out the differences if any.
• Marriage counseling is based on research that shows that individuals and
their problems are best handled within the context of their relationships.
7
Purpose
8
The couple and therapist work together :
•To identify and maintain what’s going well in the
couple’s relationship,
•To identify what’s damaging the relationship
(cause of distress) and creating emotional
distance between the partners.
•It aims to focus on understanding their clients'
symptoms and the way their interactions
contribute to problems in the relationship.
•It helps the couple to attain a place where their
sense of personal well being can be restored.
•It helps to deepen intimacy and connection.
•It can help promote self-awareness and personal
growth in the couples.
9
Purpose conti….
• The counselling aims to create a more realistic picture of
each partner’s rather than who the other partner wants
him or her to be. The marriage counselling thus helps in
settling misunderstandings and avoiding
miscommunications.
• It aims to provide some common ground if the spouses are
aware of and respect each other’s desires and
motivations.
• Marriage counseling also aims the couples a way to stay
accountable to each other.
• The counsellor helps them to learn new skills and put into
practice. Counselors will often assign homework to the
couple in an effort to create patterns that stand the test of
time.
10
•Marriage counselling aims to improve
communication between the couples.
•Help to create new and positively bonding
between emotional events in the relationship.
•It aims to foster a secure attachment between
partners.
•It helps to maintain a sense of intimacy between
the couples.
11
Purpose conti….
* Image https://www.therapytribe.com/therapy/marriage-counseling/
Importance
of
Marriage
Counselling
12
13
* image- https://www.wakecounseling.com/therapy-blog/2017/1/27/the-importance-of-marriage-counseling
• Marriage Counselling aims to helps couples take time out of
their busy lives and come together to really focus on
themselves. The counsellor works as a mediator between the
couples and help them analyzing their behavioral patterns
and identify that behavior which lead to conflict. Once such
patterns have been identified, the with the help of the
counsellor, their behavior can be modified.
• The counsellor tries to establish an effective communication
between the couples. Counseling helps couples to start their
communication, such as, by eliminating bad habits such as
continuously interrupting the other partner or speaking too
much and not giving the other partner a chance to
respond/reply.
• Hence, counseling can serve as a platform where these issues
can finally be confronted.
14
Importance conti….
Basic principles
for Marriage
Counselling
15
The counsellor tries :
• To establish a confidential dialogue to normalize feelings.
• To make each person able to be heard and to hear
themselves so that they can expand and re-organize their
relationship particularly emotional one.
• To provide a mirror so that each partner may reflect the
relationship's difficulties along with the potential and
direction for change
• To deliver relevant and appropriate information to each
couples.
• To changes the view of the relationship by helping the
partners to bring a new patterns of interactions between
them.
16
When to seek
Couple
counselling?
17
• Couples who are engaged in continuous same fight over and over and
it’s hard to see eye to eye or resolve any solution.
• Couples who have a disagreement regarding parenting, financial, or
lifestyle choices.
• Couples who experience that household responsibilities are unequal
and can’t figure out how to effectively communicate with their
partner or come up with proper solutions.
• Couples who experience that they have lost sexual or romantic
chemistry for their partner.
• Couples who believe or feel like their marriage is on auto-pilot (doing
without thinking/self awareness).
• Couples who report of being unheard or feel like that their partner is
emotionally unavailable to them.
• Couples dealing with the issues of substance abuse, infidelity, or
mental health.
18
Why Marriage
counselling is
important to address
marital concerns?
19
• Marriage counselling brings couples or partners together
for joint therapy sessions. It helps couples to pinpoint and
understand the sources of their conflicts and come out
with solutions.
• Marriage counselling helps each partner to analyse both
the good and bad parts of their relationship.
• Marriage counselling can help partners to learn skills
such as communicating openly, problem-solving and
discussing differences rationally to solidify their
relationship.
• However, if any of the partner is having issues related to
mental illness or substance abuse, the marriage
counsellor may work with other health care professionals
to provide a complete spectrum of treatment.
20
Who can benefit
from marriage
counselling?
21
• People with specific issues, such as an extramarital affair or loss of
sexual attraction, gradual disintegration of communication and
caring.
• Couple with lack of intimacy and want to improve their sexual
satisfaction, or develop more romance in their relationship.
• Marriage counselling helps parents to cooperate more effectively in
parenting their children.
• Couples feeling stress regarding demands of employment, health
concerns, or the responsibilities of parenting can opt counselling.
This may help them managing their stress.
• Couples would like to manage daily disputes in a more peaceful
manner.
• Couples want to resolve differences over main decisions, for example,
whether to get married or have a child.
• Couples wanting to address underlying conflicts in their
relationships, such as disputes over money or the role of in-laws. 22
Marriage
Counselling won’t
work with?
23
“It is believed that if the marriage is more like problematic,
counselling may not be effective. But it doesn't mean giving
up, it means one should have realistic expectations”.
• Couples who wait too long before seeking help
• Marriages in which one spouse is set on divorce.
• Marriages with one partner addicted to alcohol, drugs
or pornography.
• Marriage with one partner showing up to sessions but not
invested in the work.
• Marriage with extra-marital affair or any of the partner
involved in other sexual or intimate relationship with other.
• When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings.
• When a couple is staying together for the sake of the
children.
24

Marriage counseling

  • 1.
    MARRIAGE COUNSELING Dr. Garima Gupta AssistantProfessor Department of Psychology Arya Mahila PG College (Admitted to the privileges of BHU) Varanasi 1
  • 2.
  • 3.
    • Marriage counsellingwas originated in Germany in the 1920s as part of the eugenics movement. The first institutes for marriage counselling was established at United States in 1930s, partly in response to Germany's medically directed, racial purification marriage counselling centres. • American eugenicists, Paul Popenoe, director of American Institute of Family Relations, 1976, and Robert Latou Dickinson along with the contribution of Abraham and Hannah Stone who advocated birth control and wrote A Marriage Manual in 1935 and were involved with Planned Parenthood. Other founders include Lena Levine and Margaret Sanger from United States too. • The thought behind establishing marriage counselling was that marriage rates supposedly were on the decline. While it’s an oft- repeated statistic that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, that number has remained unchanged for the past 30 years. However, the rate of Divorce also vary with the partners’ level of education, religious beliefs, and many other factors. 3
  • 4.
    • When divorcedoes happen, it creates a lot of difficulties amongst both adults as well as children. For adults, divorce may be one of life’s extreme stressful life events. Many decision to divorce usually met with ambivalence and uncertainty regarding the future. For children of divorcees, they may experience negative effects for example, denial, feelings of abandonment, anger, blame, guilt, depression, confusions, preoccupation with reconciliation, and acting out. • However, for many people the decision of divorce may be necessary and the healthiest choice. There are few who may wish to try to salvage whatever is left of the union. 4
  • 5.
  • 6.
    • Marriage counselling,also called couples therapy and marriage and family therapy, is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on improving your communication and conflict-resolution skills. • Marriage counselling helps couples in a marriage to identify the problems in their relationship, resolve their conflicts, and improve their relationship. • Marriage counselling provides couples, a tool to communicate better, negotiate differences, solve their problems or if in case argue in a healthier way. • It is an interaction between a therapist and the couples, in which the therapist listens to couple’s problems and assists them to understand their relationship better, resolve conflicts and satisfaction by applying a variety of therapeutic interventions. These therapies can be provided by the experienced and licensed therapists who would have a deep understanding of the different relationships. 6
  • 7.
    • Usually alicensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists provide assistance to the couples. These therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus is on couple's relationship. Marriage and family counselling gives you an appropriate and thoughtful decisions about mending your relationship or parting your ways. Marriage counselling can help couples at various stages of their relationship, such as premarital, post-marriage, family planning, and when kids are growing. • Marriage counselling is generally for short term. During the counselling, at times, only one partner works with the therapist to improve the relationship. • However, for few, it may go long or several months, specially if the relationship has hugely deteriorated. • Many people also opt for counselling to strengthen their relationship, in general. • Premarital counselling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out the differences if any. • Marriage counseling is based on research that shows that individuals and their problems are best handled within the context of their relationships. 7
  • 8.
  • 9.
    The couple andtherapist work together : •To identify and maintain what’s going well in the couple’s relationship, •To identify what’s damaging the relationship (cause of distress) and creating emotional distance between the partners. •It aims to focus on understanding their clients' symptoms and the way their interactions contribute to problems in the relationship. •It helps the couple to attain a place where their sense of personal well being can be restored. •It helps to deepen intimacy and connection. •It can help promote self-awareness and personal growth in the couples. 9
  • 10.
    Purpose conti…. • Thecounselling aims to create a more realistic picture of each partner’s rather than who the other partner wants him or her to be. The marriage counselling thus helps in settling misunderstandings and avoiding miscommunications. • It aims to provide some common ground if the spouses are aware of and respect each other’s desires and motivations. • Marriage counseling also aims the couples a way to stay accountable to each other. • The counsellor helps them to learn new skills and put into practice. Counselors will often assign homework to the couple in an effort to create patterns that stand the test of time. 10
  • 11.
    •Marriage counselling aimsto improve communication between the couples. •Help to create new and positively bonding between emotional events in the relationship. •It aims to foster a secure attachment between partners. •It helps to maintain a sense of intimacy between the couples. 11 Purpose conti…. * Image https://www.therapytribe.com/therapy/marriage-counseling/
  • 12.
  • 13.
  • 14.
    • Marriage Counsellingaims to helps couples take time out of their busy lives and come together to really focus on themselves. The counsellor works as a mediator between the couples and help them analyzing their behavioral patterns and identify that behavior which lead to conflict. Once such patterns have been identified, the with the help of the counsellor, their behavior can be modified. • The counsellor tries to establish an effective communication between the couples. Counseling helps couples to start their communication, such as, by eliminating bad habits such as continuously interrupting the other partner or speaking too much and not giving the other partner a chance to respond/reply. • Hence, counseling can serve as a platform where these issues can finally be confronted. 14 Importance conti….
  • 15.
  • 16.
    The counsellor tries: • To establish a confidential dialogue to normalize feelings. • To make each person able to be heard and to hear themselves so that they can expand and re-organize their relationship particularly emotional one. • To provide a mirror so that each partner may reflect the relationship's difficulties along with the potential and direction for change • To deliver relevant and appropriate information to each couples. • To changes the view of the relationship by helping the partners to bring a new patterns of interactions between them. 16
  • 17.
  • 18.
    • Couples whoare engaged in continuous same fight over and over and it’s hard to see eye to eye or resolve any solution. • Couples who have a disagreement regarding parenting, financial, or lifestyle choices. • Couples who experience that household responsibilities are unequal and can’t figure out how to effectively communicate with their partner or come up with proper solutions. • Couples who experience that they have lost sexual or romantic chemistry for their partner. • Couples who believe or feel like their marriage is on auto-pilot (doing without thinking/self awareness). • Couples who report of being unheard or feel like that their partner is emotionally unavailable to them. • Couples dealing with the issues of substance abuse, infidelity, or mental health. 18
  • 19.
    Why Marriage counselling is importantto address marital concerns? 19
  • 20.
    • Marriage counsellingbrings couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions. It helps couples to pinpoint and understand the sources of their conflicts and come out with solutions. • Marriage counselling helps each partner to analyse both the good and bad parts of their relationship. • Marriage counselling can help partners to learn skills such as communicating openly, problem-solving and discussing differences rationally to solidify their relationship. • However, if any of the partner is having issues related to mental illness or substance abuse, the marriage counsellor may work with other health care professionals to provide a complete spectrum of treatment. 20
  • 21.
    Who can benefit frommarriage counselling? 21
  • 22.
    • People withspecific issues, such as an extramarital affair or loss of sexual attraction, gradual disintegration of communication and caring. • Couple with lack of intimacy and want to improve their sexual satisfaction, or develop more romance in their relationship. • Marriage counselling helps parents to cooperate more effectively in parenting their children. • Couples feeling stress regarding demands of employment, health concerns, or the responsibilities of parenting can opt counselling. This may help them managing their stress. • Couples would like to manage daily disputes in a more peaceful manner. • Couples want to resolve differences over main decisions, for example, whether to get married or have a child. • Couples wanting to address underlying conflicts in their relationships, such as disputes over money or the role of in-laws. 22
  • 23.
  • 24.
    “It is believedthat if the marriage is more like problematic, counselling may not be effective. But it doesn't mean giving up, it means one should have realistic expectations”. • Couples who wait too long before seeking help • Marriages in which one spouse is set on divorce. • Marriages with one partner addicted to alcohol, drugs or pornography. • Marriage with one partner showing up to sessions but not invested in the work. • Marriage with extra-marital affair or any of the partner involved in other sexual or intimate relationship with other. • When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings. • When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children. 24