HHS 4M1 - Remarriage and Stepfamilies
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This document discusses the challenges of remarriage, noting that remarriages have a higher separation/divorce rate than first marriages. It takes 4-7 years to adjust to a remarriage and 40% of remarriages with children separate within 4 years. Common challenges include difficulties blending families, unresolved issues from previous marriages, and the inability to establish a stable new family system. Successful remarriages involve considering the needs of children, establishing clear roles and boundaries, and prioritizing the new marital relationship.
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Generational Differences Chart
Traditionalists Baby Boomers Generation X Millennials
Birth Years 1900-1945 1946-1964 1965-1980 (1977-1994)
1981-2000
Current Age 63-86 44-62 28-43 8-27
Famous
People
Bob Dole, Elizabeth Taylor Bill Clinton, Meryl Streep Barak Obama, Jennifer Lopez Ashton Kutcher, Serena Williams
# 80 Million 51 Million 75 Million
Other Names
Veterans, Silent, Moral Authority,
Radio Babies, The Forgotten
Generation
“Me” Generation, Moral Authority Gen X, Xers, The Doer, Post Boomers,
13th Generation
Generation Y, Gen Y, Generation Next,
Echo Boomers, Chief Friendship Officers.
24/7’s
Influencers
WWII, Korean War, Great
Depression, New Deal, Rise on
Corporations, Space Age,
Raised by parents that just
survived the Great Depression.
Experienced hard times while
growing up which were followed
by times of prosperity.
Civil Rights, Vietnam War, Sexual
Revolution, Cold War/Russia,
Space Travel
Highest divorce rate and 2nd
marriages in history.
Post War Babies who grew up to
be radicals of the 70’s and yuppies
of the 80’s.
“The American Dream” was
promised to them as children and
they pursue it. As a result they are
seen as being greedy, materialistic
and ambitious.
Watergate, Energy Crisis, Dual Income
families and single parents, First
Generation of Latchkey Kids, Y2K,
Energy Crisis, Activism, Corp.
Downsizing, End of Cold War, Mom’s
work, Increase divorce rate.
Their perceptions are shaped by
growing up having to take care of
themselves early and watching their
politicians lie and their parents get laid
off.
Came of age when USA was losing its
status as the most powerful and
prosperous nation in the world.
The first generation that will NOT do as
well financially as their parents did.
Digital Media, child focused world, school
shootings, terrorist attacks, AIDS, 9/11
terrorist attacks.
Typically grew up as children of divorce
They hope to be the next great generation
& to turn around all the “wrong” they
see in the world today.
They grew up more sheltered than any
other generation as parents strived to
protect them from the evils of the
world.
Came of age in a period of economic
expansion.
Kept busy as kids
First generation of children with
schedules.
Traditionalists Baby Boomers Generation X Millennials
Core Values
Adhere to rules
Conformers/Conformity
Contributing to the Collective
good is important
Dedication/Sacrifice
Delayed Reward
Discipline
Don’t question authority
Duty before pleasure
Family Focus
“Giving Back” is important
Hard Work
Law and Order
Loyalty
Patriotism
Patience
Respect for authority
Responsibility
Savers
Stabilizing
Trust in Government
Anti war
Anti government
Anything is p ...
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- 3. Increase in the early 1990s More familiar with the costs and benefits Intimacy and companionship Romance and sexual expression
- 4. Slow and complex Balancing career, kids, extended family and new marriage Takes an estimated 4-7 years to adjust.
- 5. 40% of remarriages (with kids) separate by 4 years. By 10 years, 47% of those with kids separate. Higher separation/divorce rate than 1st marriages
- 6. Mistake Failure Difficulties with children Unable to establish cause the split. stable family system Bringing in old Occurs early (first 5 issues, habits. years) Work and in-laws Rushed, did not consider prevent the stabilizing of feelings of children new marriage.
- 7. Bringing baggage, previous marriage Unsettled emotional issues Greater involvement in work – later life New marital, spouse and parent roles to rework Inability to form new family habits Unrealistic expectations for the marriage
- 8. Recovery, Inclusion, Marital Sub-System
- 9. Emotional, social and physical strain of first marriage “getting over” grief, anger, jealousy, resentment Achieving stability on your own before 2nd marriage
- 10. Consider new family, kids and current in-laws How will the new family system operate? Open or closed? Contact with ex-spouses? Crucial for benefit of children
- 11. Establishing sub-system of how new family will function Clear boundaries for both partners Decide priorities – parental and spousal Emphasize “we” problem solving
- 12. More practical than romantic Supporting and raising children Supporting each other in later life Can deal with conflict despite “eyes” of kids, in-laws, ex-spouses.
- 14. Parent-child relationships is older than the new marriage. Stigma and stereotyping Intruder? Resent attempts at intimacy.
- 15. Re-adjustment of birth order status Rivalry caused by conflicting personalities Parent loyalty, “siding” “sudden siblings” and repressed attraction
- 16. No obvious ones! Least successful? Don’t try to be a “healer” Those that demand intimacy Most successful? Between parent and trusted friend Model after in-laws
- 17. Traditional Benefits Practical Costs Dual income Little improvement to child’s well-being Financial stability Child distress and mental health issues Partner support (emotional and social) Educational difficulty “two heads” are better Worse for boys than girls
- 18. Remarriage later in life Need for adult children’s approval Loyalty to old parent Assume the worst (marry for money) This stage in life remarriage indicates earlier successes Men are more likely to remarry than women.