Self in Interpersonal
  Communication
    Chapter 3, Part 1
      Devito 10th ed.
Chapter 3
 Who are
you….really?
Objectives: Self-Concept
1.   Define self-concept; explain how it develops.
2.   Explain how culture influences self-concept.
3.   Define & give examples of ego
     boosters/busters.
4.   List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.
5.   Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.
6.   Explain why self-concept is often distorted.
7.   Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be
     changed.
I. Self-Concept
  A. Definition
     1. How you view yourself;
        self-image
     2. Feelings & thoughts about
        your strengths, weaknesses
     3. Relatively stable set of
        perceptions you hold of yourself:
        emotional states, talents, likes,
        dislikes, values, roles, etc.
B. How the Self-Concept Develops
  1.   Others’ Images of You
       a. Looking Glass Self
       b. Reflected Appraisal:
       c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters
  2.   Social Comparisons
       a. Superior/Inferior
       b. Same/Different
  3.   Cultural Teachings
  4.   Your Own Interpretations &
       Experiences
Sources of Self Concept

                 Other’s
                 Images



  Social          Self              Your
                Concept       Interpretations &
Comparisons                      Evaluations




                 Cultural
                Teachings
Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise

• Recall an “ego booster” who helped
  enhance your self-esteem.
• Recall an “ego buster” from your life.
• Recall a time when you were an
  “ego booster” to someone else.
• Recall a time when you were an
  “ego buster”.
Cultural Influences on Self-Concept
    Individualistic Cultures        Collectivistic Cultures
•   Self is separate, unique   •   Emphasize extended
    indiv; should be inde-         families or in-groups;
    pendent, self-sufficient       “we” orientation
•   Should take care of self   •   Should care for extend-
    & immediate family             ed family before self
•   Reward individual          •   Reward contribution to
    achievement; value             group goals; group
    individual decisions;          decisions valued;
    individual credit/ blame       shared credit/blame
•   Value autonomy, youth,     •   Value--duty, order, tra-
    change, individual             dition, age, group se-
    security, equality             curity, status, hierarchy
C. Characteristics of Self-Concept
           The self-concept:
  1.   affects communication.
  2.   is subjective.
  3.   resists change.
  4.   is flexible, if it is healthy.
  5.   is multi-dimensional
1. Self-concept affects communication.
   High Self-Esteem                     Low Self-Esteem
1. Likely to think well of others   1. Likely to disapprove of others
2. Expect to be accepted            2. Expect to be rejected
3. Evaluate own performance         3. Evaluate own performance
      more favorably                      less favorably
4. Perform well when being          4. Perform poorly when being
      watched                             watched
5. Work harder for those who        5. Work harder for undemand-
      demand high standards               ing less critical people
6. Feel comfortable with those      6. Feel threatened by those
      perceived as superior               perceived as superior
7. Able to defend self against      7. Have difficulty defending self
      criticism                           against criticism; easily
                                          influenced
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. We make a prediction based on a
   belief.
2. We act toward person/situation as if
   prediction/belief is true.
3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is
   true, it becomes true.
4. We observe this effect, which
   strengthens our belief.
2. The self-concept is subjective.

  a. Obsolete
     information
  b. Distorted feedback
  c. Emphasis on
     perfection
  d. Social expectations:
     Modesty vs. “Egotism”
3. The self-concept resists change.
  a. Cling to existing self-concept,
     even when evidence shows
     it’s obsolete
  b. Cling to negative outmoded
     self-perception—whether
     negative or positive
  c. Can produce self-delusion
     and lack of growth
“Can’t” Exercise
• Write a sentence which states
  something you can’t do.
• Cross out the “can’t” and replace it
  with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”.
• How does this change the meaning
  of this sentence?
• What does this have to do with self-
  concept?
4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.
  a. We change:
    -from moment to moment.
    -from situation to situation.
    -over longer periods of time.
  a. We need to constantly
     adjust our self-concept
     as new data becomes
     available.
Changing the Self-Concept
• Have realistic expectations
• Strive for a realistic
  perception of yourself
• Have the will to change
• Develop the skill to change
The self-concept is multidimensional.
5. The self-concept is multidimensional.
  a. PRIVATE ME
      1) Perceived self
      2) Person you believe yourself
         to be.
  b. IDEAL ME
      1) Desired self
      2) Picture of person you wish
         you were
  c. PUBLIC ME
      1) Presenting self
      2) Face you try to show others
Defining My Three Selves Exercise
• Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label
  the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words
  and/or draw pictures that best describe the person
  you know yourself to be.
• Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat
  the process using words/pictures that describe the
  way you would like to be.
• Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us
  words/pictures that represent the way to present
  yourself to others.
• Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.
                   (Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)
Objectives: Self-Awareness &
            Self-Esteem
1.   Explain the Johari window.
2.   Compare & contrast Johari window for two
     different relationships.
3.   Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.
4.   List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.
5.   List & explain guidelines for responding to
     self-disclosures of others.
II. Self-Awareness
  A.   Johari Window -- a tool that
       represents your communication
       behaviors

   Goal is to be
   as open a
   communicator
   as appropriate.
Known to      Not Known
               Self          to Self


Known to
Others
            Open          Blind
             Self          Self

Not
Known
            Hidden       Unknown
to Others    Self          Self

            Johari Window
III. Self-Esteem – your own
evaluation of worth       CLUES?

 A.   Attack your self- destructive
      beliefs.
 B.   Engage in self-affirmation.
 C.   Seek out nourish-
       ing people.
 C.   Work on projects that will
      result in success.
IV. Self-Disclosure --
sharing previously unknown
personal information with
another
A. Factors Influencing Self-
 Disclosure

   1. Who You Are
   2. Culture
   3. Gender
   4. Your Listeners
   5.   Topic
WOMEN
MEN
Weigh the rewards against the
risks before deciding to self-
          disclose.
B. Rewards of Self-
Disclosure
  1. Get to know self better
  2. Increases communication
     effectiveness
  3. Increases physiological
     health
C. Dangers of Self-
Disclosure
   1.    Personal risks
   2.    Relational risks
   3.    Professional risks




        Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure
• Consider the:
  – motivation.
  – appropriateness.
  – disclosures of the other.
  – possible burdens.
Guidelines for Responding to
Self-Disclosures of Others
 •   Use active listening skills.
 •   Support & reinforce the discloser.
 •   Keep disclosures confidential.
 •   Do not use disclosures as
     weapons.
Objectives: Apprehension
1.   Define communication apprehension &
     distinguish between state & trait
     apprehension.
2.   List 7 apprehensive behaviors.
3.   List & explain 7 influences on
     apprehension.
4.   Explain how cultural differences impact
     apprehension.
5.   Briefly describe 3 apprehension
     management theories.
V. Apprehension
A. Nature of comm. apprehension
   1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety
      about interaction
   2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm.,
      regardless of situation
   3. State apprehension--specific to a
      given comm. situation
B. Apprehensive Behaviors
   1. Decrease in frequency, strength, &
      likelihood of engaging in comm.
   2. Less willing to volunteer
   3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating
   4. Talk less & avoid leadership
   5. Disclose less
   6. Avoid jobs requiring comm.
   7. Less likely to get job interviews
C. Influences on comm. apprehension
   1.   Degree of evaluation
   2.   Subordinate status
   3.   Degree of conspicuousness
   4.   Degree of unpredictability
   5.   Degree of dissimilarity
   6.   Prior success & failures
   7.   Lack of comm. skills & experience
D. Culture & apprehension
    1. Apprehension increases
 w/unfamiliarity
    2. Higher if you have stereotypes,
       prejudices
    3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status,
       perception of evaluation
E. Apprehension Management Theories
  1. Cognitive Restructuring--change unreal-
                 Restructuring
     istic beliefs which cause fear of failure
  2. Systematic Desensitization--unlearn
                   Desensitization
     apprehension--creating hierarchy of
     behaviors leading up to desired behavior
  3. Skill Acquisition--
           Acquisition
        a.   Prepare & practice
        b.   Focus on success
        c.   Familiarize yourself w/situation
        d.   Try to relax
The End




    Presenting Self?
Appropriate Self-Disclosure?

        NOT!!!!!
Surveys/Exercises
• *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self-
  Disclosure
• Self-Concept Scales
• Locus of Control Scales
• Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons &
  stories
• Self-Actualization Survey
• Self-Disclosure Survey
• Self-Monitoring Survey

Self in IPC

  • 1.
    Self in Interpersonal Communication Chapter 3, Part 1 Devito 10th ed.
  • 2.
    Chapter 3 Whoare you….really?
  • 3.
    Objectives: Self-Concept 1. Define self-concept; explain how it develops. 2. Explain how culture influences self-concept. 3. Define & give examples of ego boosters/busters. 4. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept. 5. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example. 6. Explain why self-concept is often distorted. 7. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be changed.
  • 4.
    I. Self-Concept A. Definition 1. How you view yourself; self-image 2. Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses 3. Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.
  • 5.
    B. How theSelf-Concept Develops 1. Others’ Images of You a. Looking Glass Self b. Reflected Appraisal: c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters 2. Social Comparisons a. Superior/Inferior b. Same/Different 3. Cultural Teachings 4. Your Own Interpretations & Experiences
  • 6.
    Sources of SelfConcept Other’s Images Social Self Your Concept Interpretations & Comparisons Evaluations Cultural Teachings
  • 7.
    Ego Boosters/Ego BustersExercise • Recall an “ego booster” who helped enhance your self-esteem. • Recall an “ego buster” from your life. • Recall a time when you were an “ego booster” to someone else. • Recall a time when you were an “ego buster”.
  • 8.
    Cultural Influences onSelf-Concept Individualistic Cultures Collectivistic Cultures • Self is separate, unique • Emphasize extended indiv; should be inde- families or in-groups; pendent, self-sufficient “we” orientation • Should take care of self • Should care for extend- & immediate family ed family before self • Reward individual • Reward contribution to achievement; value group goals; group individual decisions; decisions valued; individual credit/ blame shared credit/blame • Value autonomy, youth, • Value--duty, order, tra- change, individual dition, age, group se- security, equality curity, status, hierarchy
  • 9.
    C. Characteristics ofSelf-Concept The self-concept: 1. affects communication. 2. is subjective. 3. resists change. 4. is flexible, if it is healthy. 5. is multi-dimensional
  • 10.
    1. Self-concept affectscommunication. High Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem 1. Likely to think well of others 1. Likely to disapprove of others 2. Expect to be accepted 2. Expect to be rejected 3. Evaluate own performance 3. Evaluate own performance more favorably less favorably 4. Perform well when being 4. Perform poorly when being watched watched 5. Work harder for those who 5. Work harder for undemand- demand high standards ing less critical people 6. Feel comfortable with those 6. Feel threatened by those perceived as superior perceived as superior 7. Able to defend self against 7. Have difficulty defending self criticism against criticism; easily influenced
  • 11.
    Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 1. Wemake a prediction based on a belief. 2. We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true. 3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true. 4. We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.
  • 12.
    2. The self-conceptis subjective. a. Obsolete information b. Distorted feedback c. Emphasis on perfection d. Social expectations: Modesty vs. “Egotism”
  • 13.
    3. The self-conceptresists change. a. Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows it’s obsolete b. Cling to negative outmoded self-perception—whether negative or positive c. Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth
  • 14.
    “Can’t” Exercise • Writea sentence which states something you can’t do. • Cross out the “can’t” and replace it with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”. • How does this change the meaning of this sentence? • What does this have to do with self- concept?
  • 15.
    4. A healthyself-concept is flexible. a. We change: -from moment to moment. -from situation to situation. -over longer periods of time. a. We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.
  • 16.
    Changing the Self-Concept •Have realistic expectations • Strive for a realistic perception of yourself • Have the will to change • Develop the skill to change
  • 17.
    The self-concept ismultidimensional.
  • 18.
    5. The self-conceptis multidimensional. a. PRIVATE ME 1) Perceived self 2) Person you believe yourself to be. b. IDEAL ME 1) Desired self 2) Picture of person you wish you were c. PUBLIC ME 1) Presenting self 2) Face you try to show others
  • 19.
    Defining My ThreeSelves Exercise • Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be. • Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be. • Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others. • Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas. (Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)
  • 20.
    Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem 1. Explain the Johari window. 2. Compare & contrast Johari window for two different relationships. 3. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure. 4. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure. 5. List & explain guidelines for responding to self-disclosures of others.
  • 21.
    II. Self-Awareness A. Johari Window -- a tool that represents your communication behaviors Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate.
  • 22.
    Known to Not Known Self to Self Known to Others Open Blind Self Self Not Known Hidden Unknown to Others Self Self Johari Window
  • 23.
    III. Self-Esteem –your own evaluation of worth CLUES? A. Attack your self- destructive beliefs. B. Engage in self-affirmation. C. Seek out nourish- ing people. C. Work on projects that will result in success.
  • 24.
    IV. Self-Disclosure -- sharingpreviously unknown personal information with another
  • 26.
    A. Factors InfluencingSelf- Disclosure 1. Who You Are 2. Culture 3. Gender 4. Your Listeners 5. Topic
  • 27.
  • 28.
  • 29.
    Weigh the rewardsagainst the risks before deciding to self- disclose.
  • 30.
    B. Rewards ofSelf- Disclosure 1. Get to know self better 2. Increases communication effectiveness 3. Increases physiological health
  • 31.
    C. Dangers ofSelf- Disclosure 1. Personal risks 2. Relational risks 3. Professional risks Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
  • 32.
    Guidelines for Self-Disclosure •Consider the: – motivation. – appropriateness. – disclosures of the other. – possible burdens.
  • 33.
    Guidelines for Respondingto Self-Disclosures of Others • Use active listening skills. • Support & reinforce the discloser. • Keep disclosures confidential. • Do not use disclosures as weapons.
  • 34.
    Objectives: Apprehension 1. Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension. 2. List 7 apprehensive behaviors. 3. List & explain 7 influences on apprehension. 4. Explain how cultural differences impact apprehension. 5. Briefly describe 3 apprehension management theories.
  • 35.
    V. Apprehension A. Natureof comm. apprehension 1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction 2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation 3. State apprehension--specific to a given comm. situation
  • 36.
    B. Apprehensive Behaviors 1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm. 2. Less willing to volunteer 3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating 4. Talk less & avoid leadership 5. Disclose less 6. Avoid jobs requiring comm. 7. Less likely to get job interviews
  • 37.
    C. Influences oncomm. apprehension 1. Degree of evaluation 2. Subordinate status 3. Degree of conspicuousness 4. Degree of unpredictability 5. Degree of dissimilarity 6. Prior success & failures 7. Lack of comm. skills & experience
  • 38.
    D. Culture &apprehension 1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity 2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices 3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation
  • 39.
    E. Apprehension ManagementTheories 1. Cognitive Restructuring--change unreal- Restructuring istic beliefs which cause fear of failure 2. Systematic Desensitization--unlearn Desensitization apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior 3. Skill Acquisition-- Acquisition a. Prepare & practice b. Focus on success c. Familiarize yourself w/situation d. Try to relax
  • 40.
    The End Presenting Self? Appropriate Self-Disclosure? NOT!!!!!
  • 41.
    Surveys/Exercises • *Weighing Rewards& Costs of Self- Disclosure • Self-Concept Scales • Locus of Control Scales • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons & stories • Self-Actualization Survey • Self-Disclosure Survey • Self-Monitoring Survey