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ANOTHER
ALTERNATE
TITLE PAGE
ROADMAP FOR TODAY’S SESSION
 Explore why influence is an important skill in today’s
world
 Define influence style
 Learn four common influence styles
 Recognize the indicators of each influence style
 Discuss why assertive behavior yields positive results
 Review how some influence styles can hamper
interpersonal communication
 Questions and answers
3
FIRST, A LITTLE ABOUT
ME….
 Worked as Director of Training for various
health care organizations in Boston,
Baltimore and Washington, DC
 Director of the Office of Education and
Training at US Senate
 Executive Coach and Consultant
 Conduct Training Seminars for various
organizations
 Online Moderator for business,
management and communication topics
4
NOW. . . A LITTLE
ABOUT YOU!
Poll
What is your primary role in your organization?
 Team Member, Specialist or Subject Expert
 Supervisor
 Project/Team/Unit Manager
 Mid-management
 Upper management or executive team
5
POLL
I believe influence is:
 Innate
 Learned
6
WHY INFLUENCE?
Shifts in Business
Hierarchical Diverse
Competitive Collaborative
Skills of Control Skills of Influence
~ Elaina Zuker, author
Shifts in Communication
Passive responders to situational factors
Active choice when conveying messages
~ Cushman and Cahn, authors
7
RELATIONSHIPS
Build bridges not walls
“The human must walk with his partner in
dialogue on a ‘narrow ridge’ between two
extremes:
1. Refusing to attempt to understand the
other’s perspective of a situation, and
2. Forsaking one’s own ground and blindly
following the other’s opinion.”
~ Dr. Ronald C. Arnett, author
8
INFLUENCE IMPACT
It is important in any dialogue that human beings
voice their views
while attempting to
understand others’ views.
9
HOW DO YOU SEE
YOURSELF USING
INFLUENCING SKILLS?
SHARE VIA CHAT
10
HOW YOU INFLUENCE
Impacts
Your feelings and thoughts
 Others’ feelings and thoughts
 Functioning of the organization
11
FACTORS THAT SHAPE INFLUENCE STYLE
Influence styles consist of specific behaviors that individuals choose to use.
12
DEFINE INFLUENCE
What is it to influence?
Openness
An individual’s willingness to disclose to another his or her thoughts,
feelings, past experience, reactions
Consideration
An individual’s willingness to accord others the same rights he or
she accords him- or herself
13
INFLUENCE MODEL
Openly Aggressive
Behavior
Concealed
Aggressive
Behavior
Assertive Behavior
Passive Behavior
14
BEST DESCRIPTORS
Indicators of influence style
1. Thoughts
2. Emotions
3. Verbal behavior
4. Nonverbal behavior
Openly
Aggressive
Behavior
Concealed
Aggressive
Behavior
Assertive
Behavior
Passive
Behavior
15
CULTURAL & SITUATIONAL DIFFERENCES
 Respect cultural views on behavior
o What may be assertive in one
culture may be rude in another.
 Be mindful of the situation
o Assertive behavior is only possible if
individuals have free choice.
o Some behaviors may be constrained
by the situation.
16
NO ABSOLUTES
 No one behaves assertively or non-assertively 100% of
the time.
 Interpret terms with care; they suggest tendencies
rather than iron-clad categories.
OPENLY AGGRESSIVE
BEHAVIOR
I BOLDLY INSIST THAT MY
RIGHTS AND NEEDS PREVAIL.
18
OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
• Believes they
should have
rights
• Needs control
• Never wrong
• Worries only
about themselves
• Are not afraid of
hurting others
Thoughts:
Hostile
• Anger
• Fiery
• Bitter
Emotions
19
OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Verbal Behavior
 Loud, haughty tone of voice
 Uses insults
 Verbally abusive
 Interrupts others; is considered rude
Nonverbal Behavior
 Rigid and tense posture
 Standing, leaning forward or pacing
 Glaring at others
 Finger pointing and fist shaking
20
OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Style Costs
 Offends others
 Creates resentment
 Squashes creativity
Style Benefits
 It is easy to know what these people are
thinking
21
POLL
Which statement reflects the
Openly Aggressive influence style?
a. I express my anger through various characteristic facial
expressions.
b. I believe you must show others your strength regardless of
the situation if you want to command their respect.
c. I don’t mind asking for help when I feel I need it.
d. I have trouble turning down people’s requests.
CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE
BEHAVIOR
I SUBTLY MAKE SURE THAT MY RIGHTS
AND NEEDS PREVAIL.
23
CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
• Believes they have
rights but others
do not
• Assumes they are
never wrong
• Worries only
about themselves
• Finds subtle ways
to get their way
Thoughts:
Manipulative
• Resentment
• Hidden frustration
• Uptight
Emotions
24
CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Verbal Behavior
 Uses indirect expression of insults and threats
 Quiet disgruntled murmurs
 Has a tendency to gossip and sabotage
Nonverbal Behavior
 Controlled, possibly twitchy posture
 Piercing eye contact
 Forced smile or clenched teeth
 Gestures might not match words
25
CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
Style Costs
 Others feel manipulated
 Disrupts teamwork
 Considered untrustworthy
Style Benefits
 Can be very clever if directed positively
26
POLL
Which statement reflects the
Concealed Aggressive influence style?
a. I’m afraid to admit that I don’t know how to do something
I am expected to do.
b. I am able to express my feelings honestly and directly.
c. I like to be in control of every situation.
d. If I don’t agree with my boss, I may find a way to drag my
feet quietly on projects he or she wants done.
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR
OTHERS’ RIGHTS AND NEEDS TAKE
PRECEDENCE OVER MINE.
28
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR
• View others have
rights but they do
not
• Hesitant to speak
mind
• Afraid to upset the
relationship
• Avoids
disagreements
Thoughts
: Self-
negative
• Victimized
• Depressed
• Resentment or
built-up anger
Emotions
29
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR
Verbal Behavior
 Weak voice
 Stilted speech
 Frequent use of qualifiers when speaking
Nonverbal Behavior
 Slouched, possibly shifting posture
 Downcast or neutral eyes
 Nervous gestures such as wringing of hands,
covering mouth with hand, or shrugging of
shoulders
30
PASSIVE BEHAVIOR
Style Costs
 Tends to hold back great ideas and information
 Fails to take responsibility for contributing to
team
Style Benefits
 Doesn’t create unnecessary conflict
31
POLL
Which statement reflects the
Passive influence style?
a. When I am angry with someone, I shut him or her out.
b. If I have something to say that I think is important, I will
interrupt a conversation.
c. I feel guilty when I have to ask others to do their share.
d. I make decisions when I have a reasonable amount of
information, even though I may be wrong.
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
I CLEARLY EXPRESS THAT WE BOTH
HAVE RIGHTS AND NEEDS.
33
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
• Believes everyone has
rights that should be
considered
• Pays attention to the
context of situation
• Objectively try to
understand others’
source of emotion
Thoughts
: Self-
confident
• Even-tempered, patient
• Self-revealing and open
• Feelings are directed at
behavior or situations,
not at people
Emotions
34
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
Verbal Behavior
 Clear and concise
 Uses first person language
 Receptive to other viewpoints
 Listens actively
Nonverbal Behavior
 Relaxed, confident posture
 Direct, friendly eye contact
 Gestures are open and supportive; nods, keeps
palms open, and pats others on the back
35
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
Style Costs
 It takes time and effort to be assertive, and it
can sometimes be a challenge to maintain this
influence style in all situations
Style Benefits
 Encourages collaboration and teamwork
 Problem solver, not problem creator
 Expedites the communication process
36
POLL
Which statement reflects the
Assertive influence style?
a. I let people know when I disagree with them.
b. I do not hesitate to accuse others when I believe I have
reason to.
c. I feel uncomfortable when someone compliments my work.
d. I don’t disagree directly with others, but I make sure that
they know when I’m upset with them.
37
38
ASSERTIVE INFLUENCERS
People are not born
assertive, nor does
anyone act
assertively 100% of
the time.
01
Assertiveness results
from skills and
behaviors that are
learned and
consciously practiced
over time.
02
Work towards the
win-win! Focus on
your openness in
communication and
your consideration
for others.
03
39
KEY INGREDIENT-
TRUST
“ TO BE PERSUASIVE WE MUST
BE BELIEVABLE; TO BE
BELIEVABLE WE MUST BE
CREDIBLE; TO BE CREDIBLE WE
MUST BE TRUTHFUL.”
EDWARD R.
MURROW
40
GENERAL
SUGGESTIONS
Use a variety of techniques to influence
others…consider their styleUse
Seek assignments that will let you try out
some of these practicesSeek
Observe others who are good influencers
and try things out you see them doObserve
“WE INFLUENCE OTHERS TO SHAPE OUR
FUTURE,
OR OTHERS WILL SHAPE OUR FUTURE
FOR US. ” W
UTU FOR US”
INTERPERSONAL INFLUENCE
INVENTORY
HRDQ-U
800 633-4533
info@hrdqu.com
www.hrdqu.com
Get started training! Facilitator
Set 25% off with coupon III25
through January 17, 2019.
www.hrdqstore.com
800-633-4533

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HRDQ-U Webinar - How You Come Across to Others - 2018-12-17

  • 2. ROADMAP FOR TODAY’S SESSION  Explore why influence is an important skill in today’s world  Define influence style  Learn four common influence styles  Recognize the indicators of each influence style  Discuss why assertive behavior yields positive results  Review how some influence styles can hamper interpersonal communication  Questions and answers
  • 3. 3 FIRST, A LITTLE ABOUT ME….  Worked as Director of Training for various health care organizations in Boston, Baltimore and Washington, DC  Director of the Office of Education and Training at US Senate  Executive Coach and Consultant  Conduct Training Seminars for various organizations  Online Moderator for business, management and communication topics
  • 4. 4 NOW. . . A LITTLE ABOUT YOU! Poll What is your primary role in your organization?  Team Member, Specialist or Subject Expert  Supervisor  Project/Team/Unit Manager  Mid-management  Upper management or executive team
  • 5. 5 POLL I believe influence is:  Innate  Learned
  • 6. 6 WHY INFLUENCE? Shifts in Business Hierarchical Diverse Competitive Collaborative Skills of Control Skills of Influence ~ Elaina Zuker, author Shifts in Communication Passive responders to situational factors Active choice when conveying messages ~ Cushman and Cahn, authors
  • 7. 7 RELATIONSHIPS Build bridges not walls “The human must walk with his partner in dialogue on a ‘narrow ridge’ between two extremes: 1. Refusing to attempt to understand the other’s perspective of a situation, and 2. Forsaking one’s own ground and blindly following the other’s opinion.” ~ Dr. Ronald C. Arnett, author
  • 8. 8 INFLUENCE IMPACT It is important in any dialogue that human beings voice their views while attempting to understand others’ views.
  • 9. 9 HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF USING INFLUENCING SKILLS? SHARE VIA CHAT
  • 10. 10 HOW YOU INFLUENCE Impacts Your feelings and thoughts  Others’ feelings and thoughts  Functioning of the organization
  • 11. 11 FACTORS THAT SHAPE INFLUENCE STYLE Influence styles consist of specific behaviors that individuals choose to use.
  • 12. 12 DEFINE INFLUENCE What is it to influence? Openness An individual’s willingness to disclose to another his or her thoughts, feelings, past experience, reactions Consideration An individual’s willingness to accord others the same rights he or she accords him- or herself
  • 14. 14 BEST DESCRIPTORS Indicators of influence style 1. Thoughts 2. Emotions 3. Verbal behavior 4. Nonverbal behavior Openly Aggressive Behavior Concealed Aggressive Behavior Assertive Behavior Passive Behavior
  • 15. 15 CULTURAL & SITUATIONAL DIFFERENCES  Respect cultural views on behavior o What may be assertive in one culture may be rude in another.  Be mindful of the situation o Assertive behavior is only possible if individuals have free choice. o Some behaviors may be constrained by the situation.
  • 16. 16 NO ABSOLUTES  No one behaves assertively or non-assertively 100% of the time.  Interpret terms with care; they suggest tendencies rather than iron-clad categories.
  • 17. OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR I BOLDLY INSIST THAT MY RIGHTS AND NEEDS PREVAIL.
  • 18. 18 OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR • Believes they should have rights • Needs control • Never wrong • Worries only about themselves • Are not afraid of hurting others Thoughts: Hostile • Anger • Fiery • Bitter Emotions
  • 19. 19 OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR Verbal Behavior  Loud, haughty tone of voice  Uses insults  Verbally abusive  Interrupts others; is considered rude Nonverbal Behavior  Rigid and tense posture  Standing, leaning forward or pacing  Glaring at others  Finger pointing and fist shaking
  • 20. 20 OPENLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR Style Costs  Offends others  Creates resentment  Squashes creativity Style Benefits  It is easy to know what these people are thinking
  • 21. 21 POLL Which statement reflects the Openly Aggressive influence style? a. I express my anger through various characteristic facial expressions. b. I believe you must show others your strength regardless of the situation if you want to command their respect. c. I don’t mind asking for help when I feel I need it. d. I have trouble turning down people’s requests.
  • 22. CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR I SUBTLY MAKE SURE THAT MY RIGHTS AND NEEDS PREVAIL.
  • 23. 23 CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR • Believes they have rights but others do not • Assumes they are never wrong • Worries only about themselves • Finds subtle ways to get their way Thoughts: Manipulative • Resentment • Hidden frustration • Uptight Emotions
  • 24. 24 CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR Verbal Behavior  Uses indirect expression of insults and threats  Quiet disgruntled murmurs  Has a tendency to gossip and sabotage Nonverbal Behavior  Controlled, possibly twitchy posture  Piercing eye contact  Forced smile or clenched teeth  Gestures might not match words
  • 25. 25 CONCEALED AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR Style Costs  Others feel manipulated  Disrupts teamwork  Considered untrustworthy Style Benefits  Can be very clever if directed positively
  • 26. 26 POLL Which statement reflects the Concealed Aggressive influence style? a. I’m afraid to admit that I don’t know how to do something I am expected to do. b. I am able to express my feelings honestly and directly. c. I like to be in control of every situation. d. If I don’t agree with my boss, I may find a way to drag my feet quietly on projects he or she wants done.
  • 27. PASSIVE BEHAVIOR OTHERS’ RIGHTS AND NEEDS TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER MINE.
  • 28. 28 PASSIVE BEHAVIOR • View others have rights but they do not • Hesitant to speak mind • Afraid to upset the relationship • Avoids disagreements Thoughts : Self- negative • Victimized • Depressed • Resentment or built-up anger Emotions
  • 29. 29 PASSIVE BEHAVIOR Verbal Behavior  Weak voice  Stilted speech  Frequent use of qualifiers when speaking Nonverbal Behavior  Slouched, possibly shifting posture  Downcast or neutral eyes  Nervous gestures such as wringing of hands, covering mouth with hand, or shrugging of shoulders
  • 30. 30 PASSIVE BEHAVIOR Style Costs  Tends to hold back great ideas and information  Fails to take responsibility for contributing to team Style Benefits  Doesn’t create unnecessary conflict
  • 31. 31 POLL Which statement reflects the Passive influence style? a. When I am angry with someone, I shut him or her out. b. If I have something to say that I think is important, I will interrupt a conversation. c. I feel guilty when I have to ask others to do their share. d. I make decisions when I have a reasonable amount of information, even though I may be wrong.
  • 32. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR I CLEARLY EXPRESS THAT WE BOTH HAVE RIGHTS AND NEEDS.
  • 33. 33 ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR • Believes everyone has rights that should be considered • Pays attention to the context of situation • Objectively try to understand others’ source of emotion Thoughts : Self- confident • Even-tempered, patient • Self-revealing and open • Feelings are directed at behavior or situations, not at people Emotions
  • 34. 34 ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR Verbal Behavior  Clear and concise  Uses first person language  Receptive to other viewpoints  Listens actively Nonverbal Behavior  Relaxed, confident posture  Direct, friendly eye contact  Gestures are open and supportive; nods, keeps palms open, and pats others on the back
  • 35. 35 ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR Style Costs  It takes time and effort to be assertive, and it can sometimes be a challenge to maintain this influence style in all situations Style Benefits  Encourages collaboration and teamwork  Problem solver, not problem creator  Expedites the communication process
  • 36. 36 POLL Which statement reflects the Assertive influence style? a. I let people know when I disagree with them. b. I do not hesitate to accuse others when I believe I have reason to. c. I feel uncomfortable when someone compliments my work. d. I don’t disagree directly with others, but I make sure that they know when I’m upset with them.
  • 37. 37
  • 38. 38 ASSERTIVE INFLUENCERS People are not born assertive, nor does anyone act assertively 100% of the time. 01 Assertiveness results from skills and behaviors that are learned and consciously practiced over time. 02 Work towards the win-win! Focus on your openness in communication and your consideration for others. 03
  • 39. 39 KEY INGREDIENT- TRUST “ TO BE PERSUASIVE WE MUST BE BELIEVABLE; TO BE BELIEVABLE WE MUST BE CREDIBLE; TO BE CREDIBLE WE MUST BE TRUTHFUL.” EDWARD R. MURROW
  • 40. 40 GENERAL SUGGESTIONS Use a variety of techniques to influence others…consider their styleUse Seek assignments that will let you try out some of these practicesSeek Observe others who are good influencers and try things out you see them doObserve
  • 41. “WE INFLUENCE OTHERS TO SHAPE OUR FUTURE, OR OTHERS WILL SHAPE OUR FUTURE FOR US. ” W UTU FOR US”
  • 42. INTERPERSONAL INFLUENCE INVENTORY HRDQ-U 800 633-4533 info@hrdqu.com www.hrdqu.com Get started training! Facilitator Set 25% off with coupon III25 through January 17, 2019. www.hrdqstore.com 800-633-4533

Editor's Notes

  1. Next, tell me a little bit about what your primary role in your organization is. The reason I like to ask this question is so that I can touch on that will be particularly beneficial to those who are already managing people, or those who plan to one day be a manager or supervisor. (Note to Peggy: After the poll results are displayed: Make comments about the percentages and the predominant group or groups Thank people again for this information as it lets you know what to focus on during this presentation.)