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“How to Win Friends and
   Influence People”
     By: Dale Carnegie
Author
o Dale Carnegie
o Self-help guru, author, lecturer,
  course developer
o Scholar/Abraham Lincoln
o Teacher of Warren Buffet
o Also wrote: Lincoln the Unknown,
  and Stop Worrying Start Living
o Died at 66 in 1955
“How to Win Friends and Influence
             People”
o First published in 1937
o Written for course “Effective
  Speaking and Human
  Relations
o Overnight sensation and
  international bestseller
o Currently sold over 15 million
  copies
o Still relevant
o Revised in 1981 by Dorothy
  Carnegie and Arthur R. Pell
Warren Buffett on Dale Carnegie
Part One: Fundamental
  Techniques in Dealing with
           People
1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain
2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
Principle 1: Don’t criticize,
condemn or complain
Don’t criticize, condemn or
              complain
o Abraham Lincoln wrote
  letters condemning his
  opponents when he was a
  lawyer
o Anonymous
o James Shields challenged to
  duel
o “Judge not that ye not be
  judged”
o Didn’t criticize or scold
  General Meade when he cost
  them the war
o Tried to understand Meade’s
Principle 2: Give Honest and Sincere
Appreciation
Give Honest and Sincere
           Appreciation
o A persons desire for praise is as
  fundamental as need for food and water
o Feeds “desire to feel important”
o Easier to criticize for mistakes than to praise
  accomplishments
o Praise even little accomplishments
  frequently
o Encourages positive environment and
  morale
o NOT flattery
“I am anxious to praise but loathe to
find fault. If I like anything, I am
hearty in my approbation and lavish
in my praise.”
                     - Charles Schwab
Part 2: How to Make People Like
              You
 1. Become genuinely interested in other
    people
 2. Smile
 3. Remember names
 4. Be a good listener
 5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
 6. Make the other person feel important and do
    it sincerely
Principle 4: Be a good listener
Be a good listener

o Personal accounts of attending dinner
  parties
o “Most stimulating conversationalist”
o People take listening as person being
  interested and are flattered
o Creates more favorable impression
o People like to talk about themselves
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other
          person’s interests
Talk in terms of the other
          person’s interests
o Theodore
  Roosevelt would
  stay up late at night
  before meeting with
  someone to
  research their
  interests
Part 3: How to Win People to
   your Way of Thinking
1. Avoid arguments
2. Don’t say “you’re wrong”
3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and
   empathetically
4. Begin in a friendly way
5. Get the other person saying “yes yes”
   immediately
6. Let the other person do the talking
7. Let the other person feel that the idea his
   his or hers
8. Try to see things from the other point of
view
9. Be sympathetic to the other persons ideas
   and desires
10. Appeal to nobler motives
11. Dramatize your ideas
12. Throw down a challenge
Part 4: Be a Leader: How to
Change People Without Giving
Offense or Causing Resentment
 1.   Begin with praise and honest appreciation
 2.   Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly
 3.   Talk about your own mistakes first
 4.   Ask questions instead of giving orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest and every improvement
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to
   live up to
8. Use encouragement, make the fault seem
   easy to correct
9. Make people glad about doing what you
   want
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of
giving orders
Ask questions instead of giving
              orders
o “You might consider this…”
o “Do you think that would work?”
o “Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it
  would be better”
Review
Pros:
 Easy to read/entertaining
 Well written/organized
 Examples to build strong arguments
 Examples from history, public figures, personal,
  ordinary people in course
 Written for everyone: managers, leaders, every day
  relationships

Cons:
 Seems to encourage one to always strive to please
 Some principles repeated and just worded differently
Useful for PR Practitioners?

• Useful to everyone who works with people
• Foundation of PR is trust and honesty/shows
  how to win trust
• Great application to crisis PR tells how great
  businessmen like Rockefeller made public
  apologies
• Helpful for media relations
Questions?

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

  • 1. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” By: Dale Carnegie
  • 2. Author o Dale Carnegie o Self-help guru, author, lecturer, course developer o Scholar/Abraham Lincoln o Teacher of Warren Buffet o Also wrote: Lincoln the Unknown, and Stop Worrying Start Living o Died at 66 in 1955
  • 3. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” o First published in 1937 o Written for course “Effective Speaking and Human Relations o Overnight sensation and international bestseller o Currently sold over 15 million copies o Still relevant o Revised in 1981 by Dorothy Carnegie and Arthur R. Pell
  • 4. Warren Buffett on Dale Carnegie
  • 5. Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Dealing with People 1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain 2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation 3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
  • 6. Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
  • 7. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain o Abraham Lincoln wrote letters condemning his opponents when he was a lawyer o Anonymous o James Shields challenged to duel o “Judge not that ye not be judged” o Didn’t criticize or scold General Meade when he cost them the war o Tried to understand Meade’s
  • 8. Principle 2: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
  • 9. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation o A persons desire for praise is as fundamental as need for food and water o Feeds “desire to feel important” o Easier to criticize for mistakes than to praise accomplishments o Praise even little accomplishments frequently o Encourages positive environment and morale o NOT flattery
  • 10. “I am anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.” - Charles Schwab
  • 11. Part 2: How to Make People Like You 1. Become genuinely interested in other people 2. Smile 3. Remember names 4. Be a good listener 5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests 6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
  • 12. Principle 4: Be a good listener
  • 13. Be a good listener o Personal accounts of attending dinner parties o “Most stimulating conversationalist” o People take listening as person being interested and are flattered o Creates more favorable impression o People like to talk about themselves
  • 14. Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  • 15. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests o Theodore Roosevelt would stay up late at night before meeting with someone to research their interests
  • 16. Part 3: How to Win People to your Way of Thinking 1. Avoid arguments 2. Don’t say “you’re wrong” 3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and empathetically 4. Begin in a friendly way 5. Get the other person saying “yes yes” immediately 6. Let the other person do the talking
  • 17. 7. Let the other person feel that the idea his his or hers 8. Try to see things from the other point of view 9. Be sympathetic to the other persons ideas and desires 10. Appeal to nobler motives 11. Dramatize your ideas 12. Throw down a challenge
  • 18. Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Causing Resentment 1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation 2. Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly 3. Talk about your own mistakes first 4. Ask questions instead of giving orders
  • 19. 5. Let the other person save face 6. Praise the slightest and every improvement 7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to 8. Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct 9. Make people glad about doing what you want
  • 20. Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving orders
  • 21. Ask questions instead of giving orders o “You might consider this…” o “Do you think that would work?” o “Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it would be better”
  • 22. Review Pros:  Easy to read/entertaining  Well written/organized  Examples to build strong arguments  Examples from history, public figures, personal, ordinary people in course  Written for everyone: managers, leaders, every day relationships Cons:  Seems to encourage one to always strive to please  Some principles repeated and just worded differently
  • 23. Useful for PR Practitioners? • Useful to everyone who works with people • Foundation of PR is trust and honesty/shows how to win trust • Great application to crisis PR tells how great businessmen like Rockefeller made public apologies • Helpful for media relations