Congruence is a key trait that refers to alignment within oneself, where all parts of a person are unified in their intentions and beliefs. In contrast, incongruence occurs when there is a disconnect between one’s thoughts and actions, leading to a lack of genuine communication. Charismatic individuals achieve their magnetic presence by focusing their energy on others, creating an authentic connection that fosters trust and openness.

1. Congruence

2. One of the most compelling traits
somebody can have is congruence.

3. This is something you've no doubt
heard of.

4. But it's also one of those vague words
that's pretty hard to pin down.

5. For example, if you were at some
seminar listening to some guru speak,
and he was going on and on about the
importance of "congruence,"
everybody would be nodding their
heads in agreement.

6. Only problem is that just like
politicians, spitting out some vague,
nice sounding words is great, until you
need to know exactly what's being
said.

7. So, what EXACTLY does congruence
mean?

8. Technically, from a purely
mathematical standpoint, it means
"parallel" or "mirror image."

9. On a personal, internal level, it means
having all "parts" of you on the same
page, or pointing in the same
direction.

10. For example, if part of you wanted to
go out, while another part of you
wanted to stay home, you could say
you were "incongruent" in your plans.

11. Politicians that say things to get
elected, but don't really believe are
"incongruent" in their delivery.

12. Often times we believe something on
one level, but not another.

13. Which means we're projecting an
"incongruent" message without
knowing it.

14. We think we are speaking some truth,
but others suspect something's up.

15. One way this can present itself is when
we're talking to others, and
"pretending" that they are making a
good point, or that we understand
what they are saying, when we're
really not.

16. If this happens to us, it's not a very
good feeling.

17. It almost feels as if like somebody's
being just a bit condescending, or they
think we're silly on some level.

18. The truth is that unless you're talking
to your best friend from kindergarten,
with whom you've buried bodies and
shared a prison cell, you're going to be
incongruent on some level.

19. This is precisely where ultra
charismatic and magnetic people get
their energy from.

20. They don't really HAVE any extra
energy.

21. They're just taking ALL their energy,
and focusing it on whomever they're
speaking with.

22. They can suspend disbelief, they ditch
any ideas they have on the subject.

23. They make the person they are
speaking with feel absolutely
comfortable sharing their deepest
secrets.

24. Because this is NOT some kind of trick
or manipulation.

25. This is genuine, honest, congruent
focus on the other person.

26. Which means they FEEL THIS on a
deep level.

27. And when you can take THEIR ideas,
and wrap them in these language
patterns, and give them back to them,
they will feel even better.

28. If you want, they'll follow you to the
ends of the Earth.

29. mindpersuasion.com