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2. One of the most powerful things a
person can do is be congruent.

3. I'm sure you've heard this before, so it
may not sound like anything new.

4. But one thing about any kind of self-
development is it's easy to get trapped
in a world of vague words that don't
really mean anything.

5. One thing you learn if you study NLP is
something called the "Meta Model."

6. This is a set of language patterns
designed to turn the vague into the
specific.

7. As you can probably guess, they don't
work very well in polite conversation.

8. Whenever we're talking to others we
are going to be necessarily vague.

9. If we show up and start asking "How
specifically? Who specifically? Why
specifically?" people are going to get
pretty annoyed.

10. But when understanding ideas that
can help us more easily get what we
want, getting specific is necessary.

11. So back to that cool but vague word,
"congruent."

12. What EXACTLY does it mean?

13. In mathematics, it's when two angles
are the same.

14. But what does it mean in a social
setting?

15. When somebody is behaving or
communicating "congruently" what
are they doing, specifically?

16. Think of the "parts" theory.

17. We all have different parts. When
we're thinking about what to do on a
Friday night, for example, part of us
may want to go out, while another
part of us wants to stay in.

18. If we are ever conflicted, in any
behavior or communication, we are
NOT congruent.

19. One way to tell when people are lying,
for example, (certainly not foolproof)
is when they break off eye contact, or
become closed off physically.

20. They may not even know they're doing
it.

21. They may even believe what they are
saying, on one level.

22. But on another level, it feels "wrong."

23. If you're in a relationship (and you're
paying attention) you can usually tell
when somebody is not being
congruent.

24. They may do a good job of faking it,
but it's still pretty obvious.

25. ("Do you love me?" "Uh, yea, sure!")

26. One of the most common ways we all
display incongruence is when part of
us wants something, but another part
of us is afraid.

27. We ask our boss for a raise, for
example.

28. We are one hundred percent sure we
WANT the raise, but when we ask, it's
tough to speak confidently.

29. Part of us is afraid to ask, because we
might get rejected.

30. Same with talking to attractive people,
speaking up in meetings or in groups,
or any other time we want to express
ourselves.

31. As you can guess, one the biggest
killers of congruence is fear.

32. Fear of rejection, fear of dismissal, fear
of being left behind.

33. The good news is that unless we're
facing down an angry tiger, our fears of
false.

34. How do we get rid of them?

35. By getting in touch with our higher
selves.

36. mindpersuasion.com/kundalini/