The document emphasizes the importance of listening as a vital skill for effective leadership, contrasting various levels of listening from dismissive to empathetic. It encourages a purposeful mindset in conversations to understand perspectives and emotions while fostering problem-solving collaboration. Practical exercises and reflections are recommended to enhance listening abilities and improve communication dynamics.

1. Courage
is
what
it
takes
to
stand
up
and
speak;
courage
is
also
what
it
takes
to
sit
down
and
listen.
(Winston
Churchill)
How
Great
Leaders
Listen

2. Two
key
ingredients
“I have no special talents. I
am only passionately
curious.”
(Albert Einstein)
“Imagination was given to
us to compensate for what
we are not; a sense of
humor was given to us to
console us for what we
are.”
(Mack McGinnis)

3. Try
it
out

4. How
was
that?
• What
were
some
of
the
quesBons
that
people
asked?
• What
was
the
very
best
listening
you
heard?
• What
made
it
feel
that
way?

5. A
thought
experiment…
On
a
quiet
Sunday
aJernoon,
when
your
partner
says:
“I
hate
Sundays!
I
get
so
stressed
on
Sundays
because
Monday
comes
next!
I
hate
my
job!
I
wish
I
could
figure
out
how
I
could
not
have
to
work
there
ever
again.”
What
do
you
say
back?

6. New
levels
of
listening
1. RejecBng
or
telling
the
other
person
she’s
wrong
(oJen
nicely
and
for
generous
reasons)
2. Adding
new
informaBon
(e.g.,
arguing
or
trying
to
change
the
other
person’s
mind)
3. Asking
a
quesBon,
recepBve
silence…
1. That’s
not
true!
Sundays
are
so
much
fun
around
here!
We
always
love
Sundays.
2. You
know,
Sundays
used
to
be
just
like
for
that
me
too—you
have
to
just
get
over
it.
3. What’s
wrong
with
work?
Is
something
going
on
there?
4. So
you
don’t
want
to
go
to
work?
5. You’re
really
upset
about
work
right
now?
6. So
work
is
so
bad
you’d
rather
not
even
go?
And
you’re
frustrated
because
you
can’t
figure
out
how
to
get
around
a
thing
you
hate?
4. TesBng
to
see
if
you
understand
the
content
of
what’s
being
said
5. TesBng
to
see
if
you
understand
the
emo'on
of
what’s
being
said
6. TesBng
to
see
if
you
understand
the
meaning
the
person
is
making
(assumpBons,
shape
of
world,
etc.)
“Taking
the
long
walk”
into
the
other’s
perspec5ve
Staying
in
your
perspec5ve

7. Our
reflexes
are
more
wired
to
this…
Than
to
this…
Why
is
listening
so
hard?

8. How
can
I
get
her
to
focus
on
the
real
issue?
How
can
I
get
her
to
see
it
my
way?
Why
is
she
being
so
difficult?
PEOPLE ARE
PROBLEMS
Listen
to
“fix”
What
is
she
saying?
What’s
the
central
feeling?
What
is
it
connected
to?
What’s
her
implicit
hope,
intent,
or
fear?
PEOPLE ARE
SENSE MAKERS
Listen
to
learn
Link
between
mindset
and
behavior
Mindsets
&
assumpBons
Behavior
Thoughts
&
feelings
Source:
Barry
Jentz

9. Staying
in
your
perspec9ve
1. Making
them
wrong
2. Giving
informaBon
3. Asking
quesBons,
silence
Listening
and
walking?
Taking
the
long
walk
4. TesBng
your
understanding
of
the
content
5. TesBng
your
understanding
of
the
emo'on
6. TesBng
your
understanding
of
the
meaning
of
what
the
person
is
saying.

10. Try
it
again…
• Try
your
conversaBon
again,
this
Bme
doing
your
best
Level
6
listening
• 5
minutes
each

11. During
break
Take
Bme
to
recall
a
situaBon
(that’s
real
for
you
right
now)
where:
• You
disagree
with
an
important
person
about
something
that
needs
to
be
done
• You
have
a
hard
feedback
message
to
deliver
and
you’re
worried
about
the
response
• You’re
generally
“stuck”
in
a
difficult
pafern

12. Set
up
your
case…
1. What
is
the
context?
How
will
you
explain
it
in
two
minutes?
2. What
will
you
say
to
the
other?
Write
it
down.
– When…,
I
feel…,
because…
– Here’s
what
I
believe
and
why
I
believe
it
(both
data
and
emoBon)
3. What
are
you
most
afraid
you’ll
hear
back?
Write
down
1-­‐3
sentences
for
your
partner.

13. DirecBons
• Get
in
trios
(mix
it
up
from
the
pairs
you
were
in
before)
• Three
roles:
– Case
owner
• Set
up
context
in
3
minutes
or
less
• Hand
role
player
their
“lines”
– Role
player
• Only
job
is,
aJer
CO
has
said
his
piece,
to
read
your
lines
• Then
just
be
you
– Observer/videographer
• Video
conversaBon
• Guide
debrief
• 15
minutes
per
person,
roughly
as
follows:
– 3
minutes
context
– 4
minutes
role-­‐play
conversaBon
– 8
minutes
debrief,
including
playing
back
all
or
part
of
video

14. Debrief:
• Start
with
case
owner:
How
did
that
go?
How
are
you
feeling
about
it?
How
did
you
listen?
• Then
to
role
player:
How
are
you
feeling?
What
worked
there?
Are
you
more/less
inclined
to
look
for
common
ground
than
you
were
at
the
beginning?
• Watch
all/part
of
video:
– How
did
case
owner
present
his/her
informaBon?
– How
did
he/she
listen?
• Is
there
evidence
of
a
compeBBon
for
listening?

15. CompeBBon
for
Speaking
and
Listening
to
reload
Source:
Barry
Jentz

16. The
stellar
universe
is
not
so
difficult
of
comprehension
as
the
real
acBons
of
other
people.
Marcel
Proust

17. A
good
listener
is
not
only
popular
everywhere,
but
aJer
awhile,
he
knows
something.
Wilson
Mizner

18. Purposeful
Mindset
• Lets
go
of
the
idea
that
I
have
the
truth
• Yet
acknowledges
that
I
have
important
data
and
perspecBve
(When,
I
feel,
Because)
• Is
genuinely
puzzled
or
curious
(listens
purposefully)
• Changes:
– Here’s
what
you
did
wrong;
here’s
how
to
fix
it
to
– Here’s
what
I
saw
that
puzzles
me,
let’s
figure
it
out
together
• Allows
us
both
to
be
problem
solvers
together