Emotional intelligence digicel esw july2016

Emotional Intelligence Strategies to Aid
Graduates for Career Acquisition and
Advancement
7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
1Emotional Intelligence
Digicel Executive Support Workshop
Leahcim Semaj, PhD
July 2016

Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Intl. Keynote & Motivational Speaker
Above or Beyond
876-383-5627

Summary:
•To be successful in your career, you need technical
skills… but you also need people-skills.
•Increasingly, companies are looking for talented people
who can work WITH others, build great relationships
with team members and customers, and lead
themselves.
•These characteristics come from emotional
intelligence. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
17

Key Points:
• Work is stressful and requires juggling.
• Emotional intelligence skills are key to managing that complexity.
• According to IBM’s 2012 survey, over 1700 CEOs say the their two top
needs are COLLABORATION and CONNECTING with customers — these are
both driven by emotional intelligence.
• Research shows that people with higher emotional intelligence earn
higher evaluations from their supervisors — and are overall more
successful.
• The skills of emotional intelligence are learnable — which means if you
want to increase your human capital, you can do so!
• Careerbuilder survey: 71% of employers say they value emotional
intelligence over IQ.
20

EQ vs. Performance
21

Data:
• The graph above shows the correlation between emotional intelligence scores and
success scores. “Success” in this study included career progression and
income. Emotional intelligence predicts 58% of the variation in success.
• In a study of retired National Football League players, emotional intelligence predicts
62% of the variation in life success.
• In one of McDonalds’ suppliers in Europe, almost half of managers’ performance (47%) is
predicted just by emotional intelligence scores
• Evaluating high performers, 7 out of the 10 factors that distinguish star managers were
tied to emotional intelligence (and only 3 to technical skills and conventional
intelligence).
• In a study of Pararescue Jumpers, the US Air Force saved $190 million by selecting
candidates based on emotional intelligence.
22

Quotes:
• “EQ has twice the power of IQ to predict
performance. EQ is also a better predictor than
employee skill, knowledge, or expertise.”
• Gerald Mount
• “Leadership’s First Commandment: Know Thyself.”
– Harvard Business Review
23

What is emotional intelligence?
24

Emotional intelligence (EQ)
•is the ability to identify, use, understand, and
manage emotions in positive ways to relieve
stress, communicate effectively, empathize
with others, overcome challenges, and defuse
conflict.
•Emotional intelligence impacts many different
aspects of your daily life, such as the way you
behave and the way you interact with others.
25

If you have high emotional intelligence
•you are able to recognize your own emotional state
and the emotional states of others,
• and engage with people in a way that draws them to
you.
•You can use this understanding of emotions to
relate better to other people,
• form healthier relationships,
• achieve greater success at work,
• and lead a more fulfilling life. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
26

Dr. Maya Angelou
27

Emotional intelligence
consists of four attributes:
28

The 4 main skills of emotional intelligence:
• self-awareness –
• our ability to perceive our emotions and understand our tendencies to act in certain ways in
given situations
• social awareness –
• our ability to understand the emotions of other people (what others are thinking and feeling)
• self-management –
• our ability to use awareness of our emotions to stay flexible and direct our behavior positively
and constructively
• relationship management –
• our ability to use our awareness of our own emotions and those of others to manage
interactions successfully.
30

Self-awareness –
•You recognize your own emotions and
how they affect your thoughts and
behavior,
•know your strengths and weaknesses,
•and have self-confidence.
31

Self-management –
•You’re able to control impulsive feelings
and behaviors,
•manage your emotions in healthy ways,
•take initiative, follow through on
commitments,
•and adapt to changing circumstances.
32

Social awareness –
•You can understand the emotions, needs,
and concerns of other people,
•pick up on emotional cues, feel
comfortable socially,
•and recognize the power dynamics in a
group or organization.
33

Relationship management –
•You know how to develop and maintain
good relationships,
•communicate clearly, inspire and influence
others,
•work well in a team,
•and manage conflict.
34

Why is emotional intelligence (EQ) so
important?
35

As we know,
•it’s not the smartest people that are the
most successful or the most fulfilled in
life.
•You probably know people who are
academically brilliant and yet are socially
inept and unsuccessful at work or in their
personal relationships.
37

Intellectual intelligence (IQ)
•isn’t enough on its own to be
successful in life.
•Your IQ can help you get into college,
but it’s your EQ that will help you
manage the stress and emotions when
facing your final exams.
38

Emotional intelligence affects:
39

Your performance at work
•Emotional intelligence can help you navigate
the social complexities of the workplace, lead
and motivate others, and excel in your career.
•When it comes to gauging job candidates,
• many companies now view emotional intelligence
as being as important as technical ability and
require EQ testing before hiring.
40

Your physical health.
•If you’re unable to manage your stress levels, it
can lead to serious health problems.
•Uncontrolled stress can raise blood pressure,
suppress the immune system, increase the risk
of heart attack and stroke, contribute to
infertility, and speed up the aging process.
•The first step to improving emotional
intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.
42

Your mental health
•Uncontrolled stress can also impact your
mental health, making you vulnerable to
anxiety and depression.
•If you are unable to understand and manage
your emotions, you’ll also be open to mood
swings, while an inability to form strong
relationships can leave you feeling lonely and
isolated.
43

Your relationships.
•By understanding your emotions and how to
control them, you’re better able to express
how you feel and understand how others are
feeling.
•This allows you to communicate more
effectively and forge stronger relationships,
both at work and in your personal life.
44

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
• Observe how you react to people.
• Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts?
• Do you stereotype?
• Look honestly at how you think and interact with other
people.
• Try to put yourself in their place Add to My Personal
Learning Plan, and be more open and accepting of their
perspectives and needs.
45

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
• Look at your work environment.
• Do you seek attention for your accomplishments?
• Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn't mean
that you're shy or lack self-confidence.
• When you practice humility, you say that you know what
you did, and you can be quietly confident about it.
• Give others a chance to shine – put the focus on them,
and don't worry too much about getting praise for
yourself. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
46

Simple strategies for EQ-i development
• Interpersonal strategies
• Self-Regard
• Conduct a self-regard inventory with regards to your job performance.
• Write a list of your strengths and areas that need developing.
• Once you have pinpointed your areas of strength, fully leverage these areas in various job-
related situations.
• Make sure to use these skills consistently, not just with a certain group or in a particular
setting.
• People work best when they create personal goals for accomplishment.
• Individuals need to be able to recognize when their accomplishments at work (i.e., both
individually and collectively) have been met.
• Achieving success or meeting one’s goals are a prime determinant of feeling good about
oneself at work.
48

• Set individual and team goals that are challenging yet readily
attainable. Make your goals specific, measurable, and action-
oriented.
• If your goals are not being met, break them down into smaller steps and create mini-goals.
This will help to determine which areas need greater scrutiny.
• Ensure that your goals are reviewed on a frequent basis, and
communicate to supervisors and managers the importance of setting
aside time to do this thoroughly.
• Use these reviews as opportunities to celebrate success, and to intervene early when goals
are not being met. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
49

• Find a qualified mentor who is able to teach you more about the
concept of self-regard.
• Spending time with someone with high self-regard will enable you to learn ways to leverage
this skill more effectively.
• Seek feedback on your performance from your supervisor on a
regular basis. Let him/her know what you are trying to work on.
• This way, your supervisor will know how to comment on your progress, as well as to supply
you with resources to improve you performance.
50

Emotional self-awareness
• In order to deal with work conflict effectively, you must
be aware of stimuli that result in negative emotional
triggers.
• Before the emotion occurs, write down a list of skills you have at your
disposal that could be used in order to decrease the negative emotion.
• For example, if you are feeling anger towards a coworker, use your
empathy, problem solving, and reality testing skills to mitigate the issue.
51

• What impact do emotions have on your decision making?
• Do you have a tendency to make decisions impulsively when under stress? When making
decisions, try to understand how emotions could be biasing your decision making
process. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “What am I feeling and why?” If negative
emotions are decreasing your ability to make effective decisions, remember to ask for
input
from relevant people before making the final decision.
• Get into a habit of asking others at work how they are feeling
about certain situations.
• Ask others regularly, “How they feel about a decision?” or “How they feel about the
team’s ability to communicate and share ideas?”
52

Assertiveness
• Conduct an assertiveness inventory with regard to your job
performance.
• Write down situations when you felt you asserted yourself effectively and situations when
you felt like you took either a more passive stand or an overly aggressive position. Once you
have written down the various situations, look to see if any patterns emerge. Try to
understand how and why your behaviors differ in various
situations and with different groups.
• Accepting and expressing all types of emotions are critical for job
success - not just happiness and joy but also anger and anxiety.
• Typically in a business environment people tend to be more reserved because they confuse
emotional expression with being unprofessional. From an EQ standpoint, individuals need to
communicate all emotions appropriately, even if it is emotionally difficult to do or if one has
something to lose by doing so.
54

• Some people have trouble being assertive in face-to-face
communications at work.
• In order to improve in this area, prepare notes beforehand so that you can share ideas in an
organized and effective manner. Remember to study your notes before the interaction occurs
to become more familiar with the information you want to convey.
• If you are experiencing trouble asserting yourself in certain
situations, try visualizing yourself performing the skill to perfection.
• Picture yourself successfully asserting your opinions with colleagues and clients, while at the
same time enjoying the moment of the interaction.
55

•Empathy
•One of the keys to empathy is active listening.
• Often when people talk to each other they do not listen
attentively and are often distracted or thinking about something
else.
• As an active listener, you should be able to repeat back in your
own words what you think the speaker has said.
• This does not mean that you agree with him/her, but rather that
you understand what he/she is saying. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
56

• Use on the job interactions as opportunities to practice your empathy
skills.
• In order to improve this skill at work, remember to listen attentively, send clear signals, and
convey openness and cooperation.
• To better understand the feelings of others, try to learn more about
them personally.
• Take time to find out who they are as individuals before finding out what activities they
perform at work. Understanding others is a key step to appropriate empathy.
58

• Genuinely listen to others without any distractions.
• Listen to the emotional content in the words they use.
• Also, pay close attention to cues such as facial expressions, tone of voice,
and body posture.
• Practice your empathy skills in less threatening
environments (e.g., with friends or family).
• Get informal feedback and apply this information to situations that require
you to work in a group environment.
• See complete list here: https://www.brookes.ac.uk/services/ocsld/career-
dev/identity/development_strategies.html
59

5 strategies to improve your EQ:
1. Pay more attention to your emotions on a daily basis.
• It’s hard to become more self-aware if you’re simply not
cognizant of the emotions that you’re experiencing on a daily
basis.
• Do you know how to identify feelings when they arise? Dare
present.
• Over time, you will discover key distinctions that will help you
become sharper and further develop your emotional
wheelhouse. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
61

• 2. Improve your non-verbal communication and become
sensitive to that of others.
• Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, Albert Merhabian,
notes that
• 55% of our communication is derived from body language, while
• 38% is para-linguistic (having to do with the way that you say
something: tone, pauses, pace, etc) and a mere
• 7% pertains to the actual words spoken.
62

3. Practice empathy.
• The idea of empathy is often confused with sympathy. Unlike sympathy,
empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
• Stated differently, empathy is feeling with someone, while sympathy is
feeling for someone.
• We can establish a deeper connection with anyone by being thoughtful about
how we engage them, using our emotional dexterity.
• People know genuine empathy when they feel it—there’s no faking it. So, dig
deep.
63

4. Exercise self-regulation.
• It’s so easy to be uninhibited in our behavior, especially
when it’s become a habit—quite a different proposition to
purposely regulate it.
• However, when the goal is to increase your EQ, self-
examination combined with self-regulation, is important.
Instead of submitting to your usual practices and
procedures, why not chart a new course, informed by
focused behavior that serves a higher purpose? 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
64

5. Sharpen your social skills.
• We are inherently social creatures.
• To say that the purpose of human interaction is to connect, is an
understatement.
• If we can’t really avoid being around others, wouldn’t it also follow that we
should make the most of each and every interaction?
• Practice listening, holding meaningful, engaging conversations, collaborating,
negotiating—and even executing common courtesies, whenever possible.
• You may think of these things as common-sense activities, but experience
teaches that common sense is hardly common.
• http://www.blackenterprise.com/career/5-strategies-for-building-your-emotional-intelligence/
65

How to raise your emotional
intelligence
• All information to the brain comes through our senses, and
when this information is overwhelmingly stressful or
emotional, instinct will take over and our ability to act will
be limited to the flight, fight, or freeze response.
• Therefore, to have access to the wide range of choices and
the ability to make good decisions, we need to be able to
bring our emotions into balance at will.
67

Memory is also strongly linked
to emotion.
• By learning to stay connected to the emotional
part of your brain, as well as the rational,
• you’ll not only expand your range of choices
when it comes to responding to a new event, but
you’ll also factor emotional memory into your
decision-making process.
• This will help prevent you from continually
repeating earlier mistakes.
68

To improve your emotional intelligence
•and your decision-making abilities—you
need to understand and manage your
emotions.
•This is accomplished by developing key
skills for controlling and managing
overwhelming stress and becoming an
effective communicator.
69

Developing emotional intelligence
through a few key skills
•Emotional intelligence (EQ) is built by reducing
stress, remaining focused, and staying connected
to yourself and others.
•You can do this by learning key skills.
•The first two skills are essential for controlling
and managing overwhelming stress and the last
three skills greatly improve communication.
70

Each skill builds earlier skills:
• The ability to quickly reduce stress in the moment in a variety of
settings
• The ability to recognize your emotions and keep them from
overwhelming you
• The ability to connect emotionally with others by using nonverbal
communication
• The ability to use humor and play to stay connected in challenging
situations
• The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence
72

How to learn the key skills that
build emotional intelligence
73

The key skills of emotional intelligence
• can be learned by anyone, at any time.
• There is a difference, however, between learning about
emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to
your life.
• Just because you know you should do something doesn’t
mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed
by stress,
• which can hijack your best intentions.
74

In order to permanently
change behavior
• in ways that stand up under pressure, you need
to learn how to overcome stress in the moment,
and in your relationships, by remaining
emotionally aware.
•This means that you can’t simply read about
emotional intelligence in order to master it.
•You have to experience and practice the skills in
your everyday life.
76

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1:
Rapidly reduce stress in
the moment
77

High levels of stress
• can overwhelm the mind and body, getting in
the way of your ability to accurately “read” a
situation, hear what someone else is saying, be
aware of your own feelings and needs, and
communicate clearly.
• Being able to quickly calm yourself down and
relieve stress helps you stay balanced, focused,
and in control—no matter what challenges you
face or how stressful a situation becomes.
79

Stress busting:
•functioning well in the
heat of the moment
•Develop your stress-busting
skills by working through the
following three steps:
80

Realize when you’re stressed –
• The first step to reducing stress is recognizing
what stress feels like.
• How does your body feel when you’re stressed?
• Are your muscles or stomach tight or sore?
• Are your hands clenched?
• Is your breath shallow?
• Being aware of your physical response to stress
will help regulate tension when it occurs.
81

Identify your stress response –
• Everyone reacts differently to stress.
• If you tend to become angry or agitated under stress, you
will respond best to stress-relieving activities that quiet
you down.
• If you tend to become depressed or withdrawn, you will
respond best to stress-relieving activities that are
stimulating.
• If you tend to freeze—speeding up in some ways while
slowing down in others—you need stress-relieving
activities that provide both comfort and stimulation.7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
82

Discover the stress-busting
techniques that work for you –
• The best way to reduce stress quickly is by engaging one or more of
your senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
• Each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to
find things that are soothing and/or energizing to you.
• For example, if you’re a visual person you can relieve stress by
surrounding yourself with uplifting images.
• If you respond more to sound, you may find a wind chime, a favorite
piece of music, or the sound of a water fountain helps to quickly
reduce your stress levels.
83

Beat relationship stress
with emotional awareness
84

Being able to connect to your emotions—
•having a moment-to-moment
awareness of your emotions and how
they influence your thoughts and
actions—
•is the key to understanding yourself
and remaining calm and focused in
tense situations with others.
86

Many people are disconnected
from their emotions—
• especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy.
• This may be the result of negative childhood experiences that taught
you to try to shut off your feelings.
• But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can’t
eliminate them.
• They’re still there, whether we’re aware of them or not.
• Unfortunately, without emotional awareness, we are unable to fully
understand our own motivations and needs, or to communicate
effectively with others.
• We are also at far greater risk for becoming overwhelmed in
situations that appear threatening. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
87

What kind of a relationship do you
have with your emotions?
• Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your
experiences change from moment to moment?
• Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your
stomach or chest?
• Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, joy, each of
which is evident in subtle facial expressions?
• Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and
that of others?
• Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?
• If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned down or turned off. In
order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally intelligent, you must reconnect to your core
emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them.
88

Developing emotional awareness
• Emotional awareness can be learned at any time of life. If you
haven’t learned how to manage stress, it’s important to do so first.
• When you can manage stress, you’ll feel more comfortable
reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing the
way you experience and respond to your feelings.
• You can develop your emotional awareness by learning the
mindfulness meditation in Helpguide’s free Emotional Intelligence
Toolkit that helps you to get in touch with difficult emotions and
manage uncomfortable feelings.
89

Nonverbal communication
90

Being a good communicator
• requires more than just verbal skills and the ability to manage
stress.
• Often, what you say is less important than how you say it, or the
other nonverbal signals you send out—the gestures you make, the
way you sit, how fast or how loud you talk, how close you stand,
or how much eye contact you make.
• In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and
trust, you need to be aware of, and in control of, this body
language.
• You also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the
nonverbal cues that other people send you. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
92

These messages don’t stop when
someone stops speaking.
• Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating
nonverbally.
• Think about what you are transmitting as well, and if what
you say matches what you feel.
• If you insist, “I’m fine," while clenching your teeth and
looking away, your body is clearly signaling the opposite.
• Your nonverbal messages can produce a sense of interest,
trust, excitement, and desire for connection—or they can
generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.
93

Tips for improving nonverbal
communication
Successful nonverbal communication depends on your ability
to manage stress, recognize your own emotions, and
understand the signals you’re sending and receiving.
94

When communicating:
• Focus on the other person.
• If you are planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something
else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation.
• Make eye contact.
• Eye contact can communicate interest, maintain the flow of a conversation, and help gauge
the other person’s response.
• Pay attention to nonverbal cues
• you’re sending and receiving, such as facial expression, tone of voice, posture and gestures,
touch, and the timing and pace of the conversation.
95

Use humor and play to deal
with challenges
96

Humor, laughter, and play
•are natural antidotes to life’s
difficulties; they lighten your burdens
and help you keep things in
perspective.
•A good hearty laugh reduces stress,
elevates mood, and brings your
nervous system back into balance.
97

Playful communication broadens your
emotional intelligence and helps you:
• Take hardships in stride.
• By allowing you to view your frustrations and disappointments from new
perspectives, laughter and play enable you to survive annoyances, hard times, and
setbacks.
• Smooth over differences.
• Using gentle humor often helps you say things that might be otherwise difficult to
express without creating a flap.
• Simultaneously relax and energize yourself.
• Playful communication relieves fatigue and relaxes your body, which allows you to
recharge and accomplish more.
• Become more creative.
• When you loosen up, you free yourself of rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing
you to get creative and see things in new ways. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
98

How to develop playful communication:
• It’s never too late to develop and embrace your playful,
humorous side.
• Try setting aside regular, quality playtime.
• The more you joke, play, and laugh—the easier it becomes.
• Find enjoyable activities that loosen you up and help you
embrace your playful nature.
• Practice by playing with animals, babies, young children,
and outgoing people who appreciate playful banter.
99

Resolve conflict positively
100

Conflict and disagreements are
inevitable in relationships.
•Two people can’t possibly have the same needs,
opinions, and expectations at all times.
•However, that needn’t be a bad thing.
•Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can
strengthen trust between people.
•When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or
punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and
safety in relationships.
102

The ability to manage conflicts
• in a positive, trust-building way is supported by
the previous four skills.
•Once you know how to manage stress, stay
emotionally present and aware, communicate
nonverbally, and use humor and play,
• you’ll be better equipped to handle emotionally
charged situations and catch and defuse many
issues before they escalate.
103

Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-
building way
• Stay focused in the present.
• When you are not holding on to old hurts and resentments, you
can recognize the reality of a current situation and view it as a
new opportunity for resolving old feelings about conflicts.
• Choose your arguments.
• Arguments take time and energy, especially if you want to resolve
them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing about and
what is not. 7/28/2016www.LTSemaj.com
104

Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-
building way
• Forgive.
• Other people’s hurtful behavior is in the past. To resolve conflict,
you need to give up the urge to punish or seek revenge.
• End conflicts that can't be resolved.
• It takes two people to keep an argument going. You can choose to
disengage from a conflict, even if you still disagree.
105

7/28/2016www.SlideShare.net/LSemaj
115

7/28/2016This is What We Do - LTSemaj.com
116The AoB Advantage
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117
ABOVE or BEYOND
Our Transformation Matrix

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Dr. Leahcim Semaj
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The JobBank/ Above or Beyond
Keep In Touch!

124

Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Intl. Keynote & Motivational Speaker
Above or Beyond
The Transformation Specialist
Give us a call at: 876-948-5726
Visit our website: www.ltsemaj.com
Send us an email: info@ltsemaj.com

Emotional intelligence digicel esw july2016

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