With reference to my earlier share – “Intense words ignite intense emotions and feelings” I got some reviews from people asking that in the moment it is practically impossible to first decide, rehearse and then express using less intense words as most of them were of the opinion that conversations are instantaneous and rarely are planned. YES I agree that our day to day conversations are instantaneous and are not planned, but at least at our workplace we can manage to use less intense words.

1. Action speaks louder than words
With reference to my earlier share – “Intense words ignite intense emotions and feelings” I
got some reviews from people asking that in the moment it is practically impossible to first
decide, rehearse and then express using less intense words as most of them we were of the
opinion that conversations are instantaneous and rarely are planned.
YES I agree that our day to day conversations are instantaneous and are not planned, but at
least at our workplace we can manage to use less intense words.
I would like to draw your attention to one very famous movie – Munna Bhai M.B.B.S where
the hero speaks about JADU KI JHAAPI meaning thereby INSTEAD of SPEAKING try DOING
(Action speaks louder than words) even HR experts do recommend to make use of ACTION
VERBS in your resume such as Encouraged, Established, Supervised and Trained to name a
few.
So next time when you use some intense words then ensure to demonstrate with some
evidence and eliminate the chance of being misunderstood
Referring to the examples that I have used in my earlier posts let’s see in what way can we
demonstrate. Take a look at these sentences:
1. I am very PASSIONATE about my job
Passionate is very INTENSE WORD so if you have used this word in your conversation
then your actions should justify the use of the word, say you are a teacher at a B
School and if you are passionate about your job then you don’t mind working with
students closely on their research projects in getting them published in leading
journals so as to get their research sponsored.
Only use intense words when you can justify them with your actions.
2. I ADMIRE you as a person
Admire is powerful word that triggers some intense emotions. So when someone
says he/she admires someone than he/she must adopt certain principles and values
followed by the person being admired and bring them to practice. Say I admire
Mother Teresa so I must be wilfully into selfless service to the mankind.
Give meaning to the words by your actions and deeds

2. 3. He is my FRIEND
The word FRIEND conveys strong emotion of unconditional acceptance.
So when I say he is my friend then I need to accept the way that person is without
making an effort to change him to suit my style and preferences. There is a saying
that goes as – Friend in need is a friend indeed, again this sentence is high on words
but low on deeds.
Inclusiveness is Growth and Exclusiveness is Depression
The words used in above sentences when followed by actions will have therapeutic effect
and will cause less anxiety and emotions mainly because words like PASSIONATE, ADMIRE
and FRIEND spells lots of expectations that are easily met by actionable gestures and deeds
reducing the chances of getting emotionally high jacked.
TAKE AWAY:
In recent years, a wave of studies has documented some incredible emotional and physical
health benefits that come from touch. A pat on the back, a caress of the arm—these are
everyday, incidental gestures that we usually take for granted, but let me tell you that they
are far more profound than we usually realize as they are our primary language of
compassion, and a primary means for spreading compassion.
If we purposefully & CAUTUOUSLY enter into conversation be at workplace or at family by
choosing words followed by some actions that justify then we can make our conversation
more MEANINGFUL and NOT a source for Emotional or Hormonal Hijack causing STRESS
and ANXIETY.
CA Vinod Kr Sharma
Director - Jagran Institute of Management - Kanpur