Active listening and empathy are powerful tools for building better working relationships. Active listening involves fully focusing on the speaker and acknowledging their thoughts and feelings without judgment. It can improve communication, relationships and productivity. Empathy allows people to connect on a deeper level by recognizing and validating others' perspectives and experiences. When combined, active listening and empathy create stronger bonds through open communication and emotional support. Organizations can foster these skills by promoting them as values and encouraging open dialogue.

1. Active Listening And Empathy For Better Working Relationships
Building strong and productive working relationships is essential for success.
Collaborative and harmonious teams help drive innovation, productivity and
overall workplace satisfaction. After all, many leaders spend the majority of
their time throughout the week strategizing with teams, taking meetings and
networking with other professionals.
However, it's not uncommon to encounter difficult colleagues or challenging
team dynamics. Poor working relationships can lead to stress, reduced
productivity and a negative impact on mental health. Thankfully,
neuroscientists and leadership experts have found untapped solutions to
create better working relationships—and the mechanisms to do so are not
neuroscience itself but social skills that we use every day.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Bruce Perry, if we move from relational poverty
to relational wealth to create more interactions with others, we can have
access to more creative and innovative power, happiness and well-being in our
professional lives.
While many strategies exist, I see two key components that stand out as
powerful solutions to help build this relational wealth: active listening and
empathy.
Actively Listen During Conversations
Active listening is the art of truly hearing and understanding when someone
else is talking. It involves being present and giving your full attention to the
speaker, all while acknowledging their thoughts and feelings. While it sounds
simple enough, active listening is often overlooked in the workplace, with
many people focusing more on their thoughts and opinions than their
colleagues.
According to neuroscientist Dr. David Rock, extensive research on the human
brain shows how it responds to social interactions. Rock's research,
specifically, reveals that active listening can significantly impact the brain's
neural pathways, leading to better communication, improved relationships
and increased productivity.
Rock also discovered that when people feel heard and understood, their brains
release dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure and reward. This, in

2. turn, can lead to a positive association with the person who is the listener,
creating a stronger bond and a firmer working relationship.
Active Listening Skills
How can we put these skills to use and be more active listeners in the
workplace?
• Be present. Being totally present in the moment is essential to active
listening. As busy as leaders can be, I recommend that you set aside
distractions like your phone or email and give the other person your full
attention. Make eye contact, lean in and show that you are engaged.
• Ask open-ended questions. These questions encourage colleagues to
share their thoughts, ideas and concerns openly, promoting a culture of
collaboration and inclusivity. By actively seeking different viewpoints that can
lead to a deeper understanding, teams can make more informed decisions and
uncover innovative solutions. Examples of open-ended questions include "Will
you tell me about it?" and "How are you feeling about it?"
• Reflect back on what you've heard. Reflective listening involves
repeating or summarizing what you heard to show that you have understood
and are paying attention. For example, you might say, "So, if I'm
understanding correctly, you feel frustrated by the lack of communication
from the team?" This technique can help clarify misunderstandings and show
you are invested in the conversation.
• Practice active engagement. Active engagement involves showing that
you are actively listening by using nonverbal cues such as nodding, smiling
and appropriate facial expressions. This can help to put the speaker at ease
and create a more positive and supportive environment.
Build Bridges With Empathy
Empathy from leaders is a catalyst for connection. It plays a fundamental role
in nurturing strong working relationships and allows individuals to connect on
a deeper level. It also involves recognizing and validating others' emotions,
perspectives and experiences without judgment.
Cultivating empathy starts with stepping into someone else's shoes.
Understanding and acknowledging their challenges, motivations and
aspirations as team members helps create a supportive and empathetic work

3. culture. This practice builds camaraderie and a shared sense of purpose within
the team.
Further, I've found that empathetic leaders actively seek to provide emotional
support when needed. This may involve lending an ear, expressing concern for
a challenge someone is experiencing or providing assistance during hardships.
By demonstrating empathy, you can create an atmosphere of psychological
safety where colleagues feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and
concerns.
The Synergy Of Active Listening And Empathy
When combined, active listening and empathy can become powerful tools for
building better working relationships. Active listening enhances the
effectiveness of empathy by ensuring that individuals truly understand and
appreciate others' perspectives. It enables a deeper connection by validating
the speaker's thoughts and feelings and encourages open and honest
communication.
Conversely, empathy enriches active listening by infusing it with emotional
intelligence. Understanding and empathizing with colleagues' experiences
allows for a more nuanced interpretation of their words and behaviors. It
helps decipher underlying emotions and concerns, enabling you to respond
with sensitivity and support.
Applying These Skills In The Workplace
To foster better working relationships, organizations can implement the
following strategies.
• Create a culture of active listening and empathy. Encourage and
promote active listening and empathy as core values within the organization.
Provide training and workshops that help employees develop these skills and
reinforce their importance in team dynamics.
• Lead by example. Leaders should demonstrate active listening and
empathy in their interactions with team members. By modeling these
behaviors, leaders inspire others to act in productive ways and often create
positive ripple effects throughout the organization.

4. • Foster psychological safety. Establish an environment where individuals
feel safe to express their opinions, concerns and ideas openly. Encourage
regular feedback and create platforms for open dialogue and collaboration.
In work and life, these strategies can help us better understand different and
even innovative new points of view, helping build a stronger, more
interconnected world teeming with ideas and wisdom.
What Is Empathic Listening?
Empathic listening is the process of making an emotional connection with
someone who is speaking. This enables you to put yourself into their shoes, and
feel with them—the definition of empathy.
It is therefore an extension of active listening, but requires a conscious and much
stronger focus on feelings. Crucially, empathic listening gives the speaker space to feel
heard and validated. It is therefore perhaps more of a therapeutic technique than active
listening, which is more about supporting good two-way communication.
The main aim of empathic listening is usually to provide support or
encouragement to the speaker.
This therefore sets it apart from other forms of active listening, where the goal is to
understand the communication and respond in whatever way seems most appropriate.
However, this does not mean that empathic listening is only for therapeutic situations. It
can be extremely useful at work for ensuring that you fully understand a situation, both
facts and feelings, and actively showing that you have heard, understood and accepted
someone’s message.
Practical Empathic Listening
Aside from needing to give the speaker adequate time, there are other characteristics of
practical empathic listening. They include:
 A complete lack of judgement. Empathic listening requires you to put aside
your own opinions and views, and concentrate wholly on the speaker.
Importantly, you need to show that you accept the speaker’s message, even if
you don’t necessarily agree with it. You can show that you are doing this by using
phrases such as ‘I understand’ and ‘I see’.
 Giving your full attention. As with any kind of effective listening, empathic
listening requires you to give the speaker your full attention. In order to do this,
you have to be ‘present’. You may find our page on Mindful Listening is helpful in
developing this technique.

5.  A focus on both facts and feelings. Empathic listening means being aware of,
and understanding, the speaker’s feelings and emotions, as well as the words
that they are using. This means consciously trying to understand the meaning of
what they are saying—but also what is behind the words, and what they are not
saying. Much of this will probably be in their body language and other non-
verbal communication.
 Acknowledging feelings. Especially at work, it can feel strange to acknowledge
feelings in a conversation. However, it is an important part of empathic
listening—and even just saying ‘I can see that you feel quite strongly about this’
is helpful in showing the speaker that you are aware of more than just words.
 Demonstrating that you are listening. For example, when you are focused on
someone, you tend to mirror their body language. Nodding is also a way to
encourage speaking. There is more about these aspects in our page on Active
Listening.
 Giving the speaker space to speak. You do not need to fill every pause.
Empathic listening gives the speaker time and space to gather their thoughts and
speak again if they wish to do so.
 Clarifying, summarising, reflecting and paraphrasing. Much of empathic
listening is about what is NOT being said. It is therefore even more vital than
usual to check your understanding—including of the emotional aspects. Naming
emotions is powerful, and can be very helpful to the speaker, especially if they
are struggling to do this.
You may find our pages on clarifying and reflecting are useful in developing
these skills.
 Letting the speaker lead the conversation. As we said before, empathic
listening is more of a therapeutic technique. It is therefore not really about an
equal conversation. Instead, you should let the speaker lead the conversation,
including setting pauses, or showing you when they want you to speak.
 Responding appropriately when it is required. The final element of any
effective listening is responding. This might be through silence, or it might be by
providing your view, or some other feedback. Good empathic listeners are able to
give the right response at the right time.
Skills for Empathic Listening
Aside from the practical skills mentioned above, such as reflecting and clarifying,
empathic listening also requires you to develop some specific personal skills and
qualities.

6. First of all, of course, empathic listening requires empathy. This is the quality of
‘feeling with’ someone. It is therefore distinct from sympathy, which is ‘feeling for’.
Empathic listeners also require compassion, which can broadly be defined as ‘empathy
with added action’. People who show compassion therefore feel with others, and take
action to help them to address their situation.
Empathic listening also requires plenty of patience. You need to be prepared to wait
for the speaker to gather and express their thoughts, without interrupting or making
assumptions about what they might want to say. Similarly, you also need to be able to
avoid making judgements.
It also requires you to be trustworthy. Like empathy itself, trustworthiness is one of
the elements of emotional intelligence. Someone who is trustworthy can be relied on
to do the right thing, guided by their inner ‘moral compass’. Trustworthy people act with
integrity. For example, they would not betray something said in confidence, or gossip
about someone else’s problems.
Empathic listening is also helped by better self-awareness and self-control. These
two qualities are also part of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness describes the ability
to recognise your own emotions and your personal strengths and weaknesses. It is
crucial for empathic listening, because you need to be able to recognise when you are
responding emotionally to the speaker. You then need to apply your self-control to put
aside your own emotions to listen more clearly and ensure that your response is
appropriate.
Empathic Listening: Definition,
Examples, and Skills
Empathic listening may be just what you need to improve your communication and relationship-
building skills!
Empathic listening is a powerful tool that enables you to understand others better by listening
to them with empathy and understanding. In this article, you'll explore empathic listening
definitions, examples, and skills that will help you to become a better listener.
Active empathic listening involves focusing on the speaker, paying attention to their words
and nonverbal cues, and reflecting on what they say to truly understand their perspective. In
addition, critical thinking is an essential component of empathic listening, as it enables you to
think beyond the surface level of what someone is saying and understand their underlying
feelings and motivations.

7. By developing your empathic listening skills, you'll be able to build stronger connections with
those around you, whether it's in your personal or professional life.
What is empathic listening?
Empathic listening is a communication technique that involves listening with empathy and
understanding to another person's perspective. This approach requires you to be fully present
and attentive to what the other person is saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Empathic
listening is an active process that involves focusing on the speaker's message and reflecting on
their emotions and thoughts.
What is the difference between empathic and
empathetic listening?
Empathic listening should not be confused with empathetic listening, which is built on mutual
respect and involves feeling and experiencing the same emotions as the speaker. While
empathetic listening can be helpful in some situations, it may not always be the best approach,
as it can make it difficult to maintain a sense of objectivity and fully understand the other
person's perspective.
What are 3 characteristics of empathic listening?
There are several characteristics of empathic listening, but here are three of the most
important ones:
1. Active listening
Active listening is a key component of empathic listening, because it requires you to give your
full attention to the speaker. This means actively engaging in the conversation, asking
questions to clarify any misunderstandings, and providing feedback to show that you're truly
listening. Active listening helps to create a safe and supportive environment for the speaker,
where they feel heard and understood.
2. Critical thinking
Critical thinking is also essential for empathic listening. It involves evaluating the speaker's
words, identifying their underlying feelings and motivations, and reflecting on the
conversation from multiple perspectives. This requires you to think beyond the surface level
of what the speaker is saying, to try to understand their thoughts and emotions. Critical
thinking helps to deepen your understanding of the speaker's perspective and build stronger
connections with them.

8. 3. No bias, judgment-free zone
We all have our own biases and judgments that can cloud our ability to truly listen and
understand others. To engage in empathic listening, it's important to recognize your own
biases and set them aside. This means approaching the conversation with an open mind and
avoiding making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. By doing so, you can create a non-
judgmental environment where the speaker feels safe to share their thoughts and feelings.
Skills of an empathic listener
The skills of an empathic listener are crucial for creating a supportive and nurturing
communication environment at work, especially if you want to build stronger relationships
with the people around you.
Here are some key skills that an empathic listener should have:
Reflective listening
Reflective listening is a crucial skill for empathic listening. It involves paraphrasing the
speaker's words and reflecting back on what they've said, to show that you've understood their
message. This can help the speaker to feel heard and ensure that there are no
misunderstandings or miscommunications.
Non-verbal communication
Communication and listening don't only involve what a person says, but also what their body
says. Enter non-verbal communication. You have to pay attention to the speaker's body
language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. By observing these cues, you can gain a better
understanding of the speaker's emotions and thoughts.
Empathy and understanding
Empathy and understanding are the heart of empathic listening. Empathy involves putting
yourself in the speaker's shoes and imagining how they feel, while understanding requires you
to consider their perspective and thought process. Showing these skills can help the speaker to
feel safe and supported.
Open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions encourages the speaker to elaborate and provide more detail
about their thoughts and feelings, which can help to deepen the conversation and improve
understanding.

9. Patience and tolerance
It can be hard to have patience and tolerance. Let's face it, we all have bad days. However,
listening requires a great deal of patience and concentration, especially when the conversation
is emotionally charged. By practicing tolerance, you can create an environment where the
speaker feels validated.
Examples of empathic listening in the workplace
Being told how to be an empathic listener is one thing. It can be difficult, though, to imagine
what it looks like in practice. So, considering how essential this skill is in creating a
productive and positive workplace, here are some examples of empathic listening in the
workplace:
Employee concerns and feedback
There may be a time when an employee wants to voice their concern or give feedback about a
process or situation. For example, if an employee expresses dissatisfaction with their
workload, an empathic listener would actively listen to their concerns and consider possible
solutions, such as delegating tasks or adjusting deadlines. By showing empathy and
understanding, the listener can make the employee feel valued, thereby improving morale and
productivity.
Conflict resolution
No matter how hard you try, conflict will always find a way to rear its ugly head. When two
employees have a disagreement, an empathic listener would listen actively to each person's
perspective, reflect back on their thoughts and feelings, and encourage both parties to come up
with a solution together. By fostering empathy and understanding, an empathic listener can
help to de-escalate the conflict and find a mutually agreeable resolution.
Performance reviews
Empathic listening is also important during performance reviews. An empathic listener can
listen carefully to the employee's concerns, goals, and aspirations and provide constructive
feedback that aligns with the employee's needs. This way, the listener can motivate the
employee to work towards their goals and increase their job satisfaction.
9 Techniques to Improve Your Empathic Listening Skills
1. It’s not about you

10. Whenever you’re talking to someone and wish to lend an empathetic
ear, the first thing you need to understand is that it’s not about you.
That’s the secret to authentic empathic listening – placing your
conversation partner above your needs.
And it can be quite hard to put aside personal opinions and make it all
about him/her. After all, you’re not his/her therapist.
So, before you decide to be there for someone, make sure you’re
available emotionally. Otherwise, there’s no point in encouraging
him/her to share a personal issue for which you’re not ready to provide
understanding and support.
2. Put away your phone
Too often we find ourselves checking our phone or answering a text
message while the other person may be pouring their heart out.
This is one of those unpleasant habits that many of us have adopted
as a result of living in the digital era. We get so hooked on social
media that we sometimes end up losing sight of the person who’s right
there in front of us.
And it’s impossible to establish an emotional bond when you’re
regularly checking your phone, and all you can say is “Aha” or “I
understand.”
So, whenever you wish to offer empathy and create an authentic
connection, put your phone away and ask the other person to do the
same.
3. Be an active listener
In a way empathic listening and active listening are synonymous.

11. Being an active listener means being present in the conversation. It
means ignoring any distractions and focusing exclusively on the
person in front of you.
Active listeners live in the ‘here and now.’ They immerse themselves
into the other person’s universe and seek to gain a better
understanding of the topic in discussion.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to listen and nod in silence. A
conversation is a two-way street where both partners exchange ideas,
impressions, and seek to resonate with one another emotionally.
4. Refrain from criticism
As you can probably imagine, empathic listening implies a high degree
of emotional intelligence.
When someone shares a story or event that holds significant
importance to him/her, it would be ideal to refrain from evaluations,
criticism, or negative feedback.
There are times when other people’s problems may seem trivial,
ridiculous, or even infuriating. But once again, it’s not about you, it
about them.
Remember, your goal is to understand and provide emotional support.
Any form of criticism will only create tension and make it difficult for
you to ‘forge’ authentic connections.
Listen, understand, and empathize.
5. Adjust your body language
As you probably know, body language is of paramount importance for
authentic social interactions.

12. When it comes to empathic listening, your body can help you create
the kind of interaction that makes room for understanding and
empathy.
Your posture and gestures can either bring people closer or create a
barrier that makes it difficult for you to listen actively and empathically.
If you want to make people feel safe and welcome, make sure to
adopt a relaxed posture with open arms and constant eye contact.
You can even go for a friendly pat on the shoulder or even a warm
hug.
6. Paraphrase your conversation partner
Paraphrasing is among the most effective strategies for empathic
listening.
Letting your conversation partner know that you understand his
perspective creates an ideal climate for sharing emotions.
In fact, research suggests paraphrasing – along with clarifying,
questioning, and remembering details – are the critical elements of
empathic listening. [3] Furthermore, this creates a safe space where
people can share and engage in self-exploration.
Paraphrasing your conversation partner is relatively easy. All you
need to do is listen to what your partner has to say and rephrase
his/her message.
7. Ask open-ended questions
If you want your conversation partner to share, you need to ‘fuel’ the
conversation by asking open-ended questions.
Sometimes, people don’t ‘open up’ that easily. Not everyone will be
willing to talk to you openly, especially when it comes to personal
problems.

13. And that’s why you need to give him/her a push by using questions
that create opportunities for sharing.
Although smart questions can enrich a conversation, make sure you’re
not intrusive. You’re supposed to have a comfortable talk, not an
interview.
If you notice that your partner doesn’t feel comfortable, refrain from
asking questions and let him/her dictate the flow of the conversation.
8. Stop giving unsolicited advice
When you’re looking to establish an emotional connection with
someone, the worst thing you can do is offer unsolicited advice.
Nothing ‘kills’ the vibe of a good conversation more than telling the
other person what he/she should do.
Remember that empathic listening is mostly about understanding and
‘connectedness.’ Sometimes, all it takes to establish an emotional
connection is active listening.
If, however, you think you have a good piece of advice to offer, ask
your conversation partner if he/she is interested in hearing it.
9. Don’t ‘fill up’ the silence
Many of us tend to feel awkward during the occasional moments of
silence that are specific to any conversation.
But silence can be a powerful tool in establishing an authentic
connection is you know how to use it.
You can use silence to allow the other person to take charge of the
conversation or give him/her enough time to process your input and
come up with an answer.

14. And let’s not forget that a conversation doesn’t rely solely on a
constant exchange of words. There’s also your body language which
through which you can express empathy and build an authentic
connection.