2013 New Jersey Library Association Conference Presentation

1. Conversation Starter:
How to Deal with Challenging
Behaviors in the Children's Area
2013 NJLA Conference Presentation
By:
Susanna Chan
Head of Children’s Services
South Brunswick Public Library
110 Kingston Lane
Monmouth Junction NJ 08852
Phone: 732-329-4000 ext. 7285
Email: schan@sbpl.info

2. Tables of Contents
• Why do Children Misbehave?
• What Can We Do?
• Undesirable Storytime Behaviors
• Basic Rules for Storytime
• Severe Challenging Behaviors in
Young Children
• Unruly Teens/Tweens
• Angry Parents/Caregivers
• Links

3. Why do Children
Misbehave?
Image from We Made.com:
http://weemade.com/tag/childrens-behavior/
Four goals of
misbehavior in
children:
o Attention seeking
o Power struggle
o Revenge
o Display of inadequacy

4. What Can We Do?
• Focus on the issue
• Don't take things personally
• Master your own thoughts, feelings
and actions
• Adhere to policies and procedures
• Active listening
• Respect

5. Undesirable Storytime
Behaviors
• No participation, kids running
around, parents are chatting etc.
What can we do?
o Clear guidelines of your
expectations in the beginning
o Re-examine storytime materials to
match the audience
o Ask feedback from parents

6. Basic Rules for Storytime
Since our storytimes have become quite popular and are very full, please review some of
these basic rules to help us keep the program smaller, quieter and more fun for
everyone. With your help, we can develop and nurture your child’s love of books and
the library more effectively.
1. Please attend only one storytime program per day. Space is limited in our programs
and we want to make sure everyone has a chance to attend.
2. Please attend the program for your child’s age group. One year-olds should not
attend the program for two year-olds, and vice versa.
3. Please participate with your child! You will provide a model for your child by paying
attention and directing your child’s attention to the stories, singing the songs and
performing the fingerplays. This is especially important if your child is a little bit
shy.
4. Please chat with friends after the program. Everyone has more fun if we all join in!
Time will be available at the end of the program for socializing.
5. Please keep your child on your lap or nearby. We expect young children to explore
and move around, but try to keep your child close so that they will not obstruct the
view of others and you can help focus their attention.
6. Please leave the program room if your child is restless or distracting. This helps
everyone to concentrate on the program. You are always welcome to step back in
when your child quiets down.
7. Please plan to arrive early. Young children are easily distracted and latecomers
become the focus of attention.

7. Severe Challenging Behaviors in
Young Children
Image from “See that, Dad?”:
http://www.seethatdad.com/2013/02/01/tantrums-driving-me-
insane/
Image from “RevNed.com”:
http://www.revnev.com/fighting-kids/

8. Severe Challenging Behaviors in
Young Children
• Tantrums, aggressive behaviors etc.
What can we do?
o Make sure the child is safe and not hurting
himself/herself or others
o Find out what caused the child's distress
o Speak with the child in a calm and soothing
tone
o Defuse the situation by distraction
o Introduce parents to available resources if
needed, e.g. Early Intervention

9. Unruly Teens/Tweens
Image from :
http://www.ramsheadgroup.com/files/2013/05/Screen-shot-2011-
01-06-at-15.03.18.png
Image from The Telegraph:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/5153797/Paren
ts-to-be-hit-with-penalties-if-children-misbehave-at-school.html

10. Unruly Teens/Tweens
• Loud, disruptive, destructive or aggressive
behaviors etc.
What can we do?
o Keep calm and avoid power struggles
o Speak to them with a friendly but firm tone
o Respect. Do not humiliate
o Tell them the library's behavior policy and your
expectations
o If behavior continues, give them a warning and
warn them about the consequences
o Call the authorities if needed

11. Teens/Tweens with Positive Energy

12. Unruly Teens/Tweens (cont.)
Other solutions:
• Change negative behavior into positive
energy, e.g. provide volunteering
opportunities, sense of belonging
• Identify the pack leaders and try to
build a positive relationship with them
• Ask school authorities to visit the
library during problem hours to
identify the culprits
• Use humor to diffuse tension

13. Angry Parents/Caregivers
Image from “Before its news.com”:
http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2013/05/police-practice-for-
gunbattle-with-angry-parents-at-a-school-video-
2644544.html
• Complaints,
demands, aggressive
behaviors etc.
What can we do?
• Listen
• Apologize
• Understand
• Give
• Help

14. Links:
• PLA - Problem Situations, Not Problem
Patrons | Public Libraries Online
• Library Behavior Policy
• Library Behavior (Computer Use) Policy
• Unattended Children’s policy
• Ages and Stages of Youth Development Fact
Sheet
• Three Simple Steps to Great Customer
Service
The End