The document provides guidance on applying parallelism and consistent point of view when writing sentences. It includes definitions and examples of parallelism and consistent point of view. Learners will complete activities to practice applying these concepts by identifying parallel and non-parallel sentences, and sentences with consistent and inconsistent points of view. The goal is for learners to properly apply parallelism and maintain a consistent point of view in their writing.

1. Project : Learning English Writing
Subject Name : Revising & Editing
Script Writer :
File Name : Revising & Editing SOPP
Parallelism
Sco 1_1 Learning Objectives
At the end of this lesson, learners will be able to:
Apply parallelism in a sentences
Sco 1_1 Introduction
V1: Welcome to Lesson 4 topic 1 - Parallelism
V2: At the end of this topic, learners should be able to apply parallelism in
sentences
Sco 1_2 Defination of Parallelism
V1:
Definition
of
Parallelism.
The
balance
between
two
or
more
similar
words,
phrases
or
clauses
is
called
parallelism
in
grammar.
Parallelism
is
also
called
parallel
structure
or
parallel
construction.
Parallel
construction
prevents
awkwardness,
promotes
clarity
and
improves
writing
style
and
readability.
V2:
Examples:
a.
Nancy
likes
playing
the
piano,
the
trumpet
and
play
the
guitar.
[non-­‐-­‐-­‐parallel]
Nancy
likes
playing
the
piano,
the
trumpet
and
the
guitar.
[parallel]
b.
She
played
basketball,
had
a
shower
and
gone
to
school.
[non-­‐-­‐-­‐parallel]
She
played
basketball,
had
a
shower
and
went
to
school.
[parallel]
c.
You
can
apply
to
the
job
by
filling
this
form
or
apply
by
telephone.
[non-­‐-­‐-­‐parallel]
You
can
apply
to
the
job
by
filling
this
form
or
you
can
apply
by
telephone.
[parallel]
Sco 1_3 Rules of Parallelism
V1:
Rules
of
Parallelism.
V2:
1.
Parallelism
is
used
to
balance
nouns
with
nouns,
prepositional
phrases
with
prepositional
phrases,
participles
with
participles,
infinitives
with
infinitives,
clauses
with
clauses.
2.
Parallelism
is
used
with
elements
joined
by
coordinating
conjunctions.
My
mother
likes
cooking
and
to
read.
[NON-­‐-­‐-­‐PARALLEL]
My
mother
likes
cooking
and
reading
[PARALLEL]
3.
Parallelism
is
used
with
elements
in
lists
or
in
a
series.
This
task
can
be
done
individually,
in
pairs,
or
can
be
done
in
groups
of
four.
[NON-­‐-­‐-­‐PARALLEL]
This
task
can
be
done
individually,
in
pairs,
or
in
groups
of
four.
[PARALLEL]

2. 4.
Parallelism
is
used
with
elements
being
compared.
She
is
mad
about
watching
TV
more
than
to
read
a
book.
[NON-­‐-­‐-­‐PARALLEL]
She
is
mad
about
watching
TV
more
than
reading
a
book.
[PARALLEL]
5.
Parallelism
is
used
with
elements
joined
by
a
linking
verb
or
a
form
of
be
To
learn
is
understanding
the
world.
[NON-­‐-­‐-­‐PARALLEL]
To
learn
is
to
understand
the
world.
[PARALLEL]
6.
Parallelism
is
used
with
elements
joined
by
linking
words.
The
teacher
not
only
wants
his
students
to
keep
quiet
but
also
to
do
the
task.
[NON-­‐-­‐-­‐PARALLEL]
The
teacher
wants
his
students
not
only
to
keep
quiet
but
also
to
do
the
task.
[PARALLEL]
Sco 1_4 Activity on Parallelism
V1: Activity on Parallelism.
In this topic, learners will do an exercise on the use of parallelism and click on the button to check the
answers
Project : Learning English Writing
Subject Name : Revising & Editing
Script Writer :
File Name : Revising & Editing SOPP
Consistent Point of View
Sco 1_1 Learning Objectives
At the end of this lesson, learners will be able to:
Apply consistent point of view in the sentences
Sco 2_1 Introduction
V1: Welcome to Lesson 4 topic 2 - Consistent
Point
of
View.
V2:
At
the
end
of
this
topic,
learner
should
be
able
to
apply
consistent
point
of
view
in
the
sentences.
Sco 2_2 Defination of Consistent Point of View
V1:
Definition
of
Consistent
Point
of
View.
Point
of
view
refers
to
the
perspective
from
which
the
sentence
is
told.
When
we
discuss
point
of
view,
we
use
a
term
called
“person,”
meaning
“who
(or
what)
is
the
focus
of
the
sentence.”
There
are
three
points
of
view:
first
person,
second
person,
and
third
person.
1.
First
person
refers
to
the
narrator
being
referred
to
as
I;
2.
Second
person
is
you
or
one
(this
isn’t
used
for
narration);
3.
Third
person
is
he,
she,
it
or
they.
The
most
common
mistakes
of
this
type
involve
using
you
when
another
point
of
view
is
required.

3. a.
If
one
wants
to
improve
oneself,
you
should
make
improvements
to
your
body,
mind,
and
soul.
If
one
wants
to
improve
oneself,
one
should
make
improvements
to
one’s
body,
mind,
and
soul.
b.
Once
upon
a
time
there
was
a
young
girl
named
Cathy,
and
I
liked
to
write
stories.
Once
upon
a
time
there
was
a
young
girl
named
Cathy,
and
she
liked
to
write
stories.
c.
The
panda
bear
sat
in
the
corner
of
the
cage,
and
they
ate
the
bamboo
leaves
listlessly.
The
panda
bear
sat
in
the
corner
of
the
cage,
and
he
ate
the
bamboo
leaves
listlessly.
Personal
and
impersonal
points
of
view
should
also
be
considered.
Formal
writing
insists
on
use
of
the
third
person,
which
means
there
shouldn’t
be
any
I’s
in
the
writing.
Be
sure
to
keep
formal
or
academic
writing
impersonal.
d.
I
did
an
informal
experiment
to
explore
the
effects
of
sodium
chloride
on
stone.
The
author
did
an
informal
experiment
to
explore
the
effects
of
sodium
on
stone.
An
informal
experiment
was
conducted
to
explore
the
effects
of
sodium
on
stone.
Sco 2_3 Activity
V1:
Activity
on
Consistent
Point
of
View.
In
this
topic,
learner
will
do
the
exercise
on
the
use
of
consistent
point
of
view.
Rewrite
each
sentence
to
eliminate
any
mixed
point
of
view.
Project : Learning English Writing
Subject Name : Revising & Editing
Script Writer :
File Name : Revising & Editing SOPP
Active Verbs
Sco 1_1 Learning Objectives
At the end of this lesson, learners will be able to:
Apply appropriate active verbs in the sentences
Sco 3_1 Defination of Active Verbs
V1: Welcome to Lesson 4 topic 3 – Active
Verbs.
V2:
Definition
of
Active
Verbs.
Active
verbs
form
more
efficient
and
more
powerful
sentences
than
passive
verbs.
•
The
subject
of
an
active
voice
sentence
performs
the
action
of
the
verb:
“I
throw
the
ball.”
• The
subject
of
a
passive
voice
sentence
is
still
the
main
character
of
the
sentence,
but
something
else
performs
the
action:
“The
ball
is
thrown
by
me.”
Sco 3_2 How to recognize active verbs and passive sentences
V1:
How
to
Recognize
Active
and
Passive
Sentences.
1.
Find
the
subject
(the
main
character
of
the
sentence).
2.
Find
the
main
verb
(the
action
that
the
sentence
identifies).
3.
Examine
the
relationship
between
the
subject
and
main
verb.

4. • Does
the
subject
perform
the
action
of
the
main
verb?
(If
so,
the
sentence
is
active.)
• Does
the
subject
sit
there
while
something
else
—
named
or
unnamed
–perform
an
action
on
it?
(If
so,
the
sentence
is
passive.)
• If
the
main
verb
is
a
linking
verb
(“is,”
“was,”
“are,”
“seems
(to
be),”
“becomes”
etc.),
then
the
verb
functions
like
an
equals
sign;
there
is
no
action
involved
—
it
merely
describes
a
state
of
being.
V2:
Example:
The
sentence
is
active.
“I
love
you.”
1.
subject:
“I”
2.
action:
“loving”
3.
Relationship:
The
subject
(“I”)
is
the
one
performing
the
action
(“loving”).
Example:
This
sentence
is
passive.
“You
are
loved
by
me.”
1.
subject:
“you”
2.
action:
“loving”
3.
Relationship:
The
subject
(“You”)
sits
passively
while
the
action
(“loving”)
is
performed
by
somebody
else
(“me”).
Sco 3_3 Differences between passive voice and past tense
V1:
Differences
Between
Passive
Voice
and
Past
Tense.
Many
people
confuse
the
passive
voice
with
the
past
tense.
The
most
common
passive
constructions
also
happen
to
be
past
tense
(e.g.
“I’ve
been
framed”),
but
“voice”
has
to
do
with
who,
while
“tense”
has
to
do
with
when.
V2:
Imperative
–
Active
Commands
A
command
(or
“imperative”)
is
a
kind
of
active
sentence,
in
which
“you”
(the
one
being
addressed)
are
being
ordered
to
perform
the
action.
(If
you
refuse
to
obey,
the
sentence
is
still
active.)
•
Get
to
work
on
time.
•
Insert
tab
A
into
slot
B.
•
Take
me
to
your
leader.
•
Ladies
and
gentlemen,
let
us
consider,
for
a
moment,
the
effect
of
the
rafting
sequences
on
our
understanding
of
the
rest
of
the
novel.
Sco 3_4 Sloppy passive constructions
V1:
Sloppy
Passive
Constructions
Because
passive
sentences
do
not
need
to
identify
the
performer
of
an
action,
they
can
lead
to
sloppy
or
misleading
statements
(especially
in
technical writing).
Compare
how
clear
and
direct
these
passive
sentences
become,
when
they
are
rephrased
as
imperative
sentences.
To
drain
the
tank,
the
grill
should
be
removed,
or
the
storage
compartment
can
be
flooded.
Because
they
do
not
specify
the
actors,
the
passive
verbs
(“should
be
removed”
and
“can
be
flooded”)
contribute
to
the
confusing
structure
of
this
sentence.
Does
the
sentence
1)
offer
two
different
ways
to
drain
the
tank
(“you
may
either
remove
the
grill
or
flood
the
compartment”)?
…or
does
it
2)
warn
of
an
undesirable
causal
result
(“if
you
drain
the
tank
without
removing
the
grill,
the
result
will
be
that
the
storage
compartment
is
flooded”)?

5. Revision
1:
Drain
the
tank
in
one
of
the
following
ways:
• remove
the
grill
• flood
the
storage
compartment
Revision
2:
1)
Remove
the
grill.
2)
Drain
the
tank.
Warning:
If
you
fail
to
remove
the
grill
first,
you
may
flood
the
storage
compartment
(which
is
where
you
are
standing
right
now).
Sco 3_5 Linking Verbs
V1:
Linking
Verbs
–
Neither
Active
Nor
Passive
When
the
verb
performs
the
function
of
an
equals
sign,
the
verb
is
said
to
be
a
linking
verb.
Linking
verbs
describe
no
action
—
they
merely
state
an
existing
condition
or
relationship;
hence,
they
are
neither
passive
nor
active.
V2:
The
Passive
Voice
is
Not
Wrong
Passive
verbs
are
not
automatically
wrong.
When
used
rarely
and
deliberately,
the
passive
voice
serves
an
important
purpose.
•
When
you
wish
to
downplay
the
action:
Mistakes
will
be
made,
and
lives
will
be
lost;
the
sad
truth
is
learned
anew
by
each
generation.
•
When
you
wish
to
downplay
the
actor:
Three
grams
of
reagent
‘A’
were
added
to
a
beaker
of
10%
saline
solution.
(In
the
scientific
world,
the
actions
of
a
researcher
are
ideally
not
supposed
to
affect
the
outcome
of
an
experiment;
the
experiment
is
supposed
to
be
the
same
no
matter
who
carries
it
out.
I
will
leave
it
to
you
and
your
chemistry
professor
to
figure
out
whether
that’s
actually
true,
but
in
the
meantime,
don’t
use
excessive
passive
verbs
simply
to
avoid
using
“I”
in
a
science
paper.)
•
When
the
actor
is
unknown:
The
victim
was
approached
from
behind
and
hit
over
the
head
with
a
salami.
Sco 3_6 Tricky Examples
V1:
Tricky
Examples
Punctuality
seems
important.
1.
subject:
the
phrase
“punctuality”
2.
action:
“being”
(“seems”
is
short
for
“seems
to
be”)
3.
relationship:
The
subject
does
nothing
at
all;
the
verb
“is”
functions
as
an
equals
sign:“punctuality
=
important”.
This
sentence
describes
a
state
of
being
(neither
active
nor
passive).
(If
you
replace
the
single
word
“punctuality”
with
the
phrase
“Getting
to
work
on
time”
or
“The
sum
total
of
the
knowledge
of
tribes
of
prehistoric
America
collected
by
amateur

6. archeologists
during
the
latter
half
of
the
nineteenth
century,”
the
grammar
of
the
sentence
does
not
change.)
Remember
to
brush
your
teeth.
1.subject:
(You)
This
is
an
order;
the
subject
is
the
person
being
ordered.
2.action:
“remember”
(not
“brushing”)
3.relationship:
The
subject
is
supposed
to
do
the
remembering.
Whether
the
subject
actually
obeys
the
command
is
irrelevant
to
the
grammar
of
the
sentence.
This
sentence
gives
an
order.
Active.
(It
may
be
grammatically
possible
to
give
an
order
with
a
passive
verb,
such
as
a
Shakespearean
curse
like
“Be
damned!”
But
most
commands
you
encounter
will
be
active.)
Sco 3_7 Activity
V1:
Activity
on
Active
Verbs
In
this
topic,
learner
will
do
the
exercise
on
the
use
of
active
verbs.
Rewrite
the
following
sentences
in
the
text-­‐
-­‐-­‐areas
provided
so
that
passive
constructions
have
been
changed
to
active
verbs.
WARNING!
Some
of
these
sentences
do
not
use
passive
verbs
or
are
better
off
left
in
the
passive,
so
this
exercise
will
also
engage
your
attention
in
recognizing
passive
constructions
and
in
using
them
when
appropriate.
When
you
are
finished
with
each
sentence
(or,
if
you
wish,
wait
until
you've
done
them
all),
click
on
Grammar's
Version,
which
will
reveal
how
we
might
have
rewritten
the
sentence
(when
appropriate)
to
achieve
a
more
vigorous
and
concise
statement.
(You
might
notice,
too,
that
changing
from
a
passive
to
an
active
construction
does
not
always
improve
a
sentence!)

7. Project : Learning English Writing
Subject Name : Revising & Editing
Script Writer :
File Name : Revising & Editing SOPP
Concise Words
Sco 1_1 Learning Objectives
At the end of this lesson, learners will be able to:
Apply appropriate concise words in sentences
Sco 4_1 Introduction
V1: Welcome to Lesson 4 topic 4 - Concise
Words.
V2:
Pruning
the
Redundant.
Avoid
saying
the
same
thing
twice.
•
Many
uneducated
citizens
who
have
never
attended
school
continue
to
vote
for
better
schools.
Sco 4_2 Pruning the redundant
V1:
A
phrase
that
repeats
itself—like
"true
fact,"
"twelve
noon,"
"I
saw
it
with
my
own
eyes"—is
sometimes
called
a
pleonasm.
Redundant
phrases
are
bad
habits
just
waiting
to
take
control
of
your
writing.
Beware
of
the
following.
Redundancy
The
Lean
Version
12
midnight
midnight
12
noon
noon
3
am
in
the
morning
3
am
absolutely
spectacular/phenomenal
spectacular/phenomenal
a
person
who
is
honest
an
honest
person
a
total
of
14
birds
14
birds
biography
of
her
life
biography
circle
around
circle
close
proximity
proximity
completely
unanimous
unanimous
consensus
of
opinion
consensus
cooperate
together
cooperate
each
and
every
each
enclosed
herewith
enclosed
end
result
result
exactly
the
same
the
same
final
completion
completion
frank
and
honest
exchange
frank
exchange
or
honest
exchange
free
gift
gift
he/she
is
a
person
who
.
.
.
he/she

8. Sco 4_3 Pruning the redundant
V1:
A
phrase
that
repeats
itself—like
"true
fact,"
"twelve
noon,"
"I
saw
it
with
my
own
eyes"—is
sometimes
called
a
pleonasm.
Redundant
phrases
are
bad
habits
just
waiting
to
take
control
of
your
writing.
Beware
of
the
following.
Redundancy
The
Lean
Version
important/basic
essentials
essentials
in
spite
of
the
fact
that
although
in
the
field
of
economics/law
enforcement
in
economics/law
enforcement
in
the
event
that
if
job
functions
job
or
functions
new
innovations
innovations
one
and
the
same
the
same
particular
interest
interest
period
of
four
days
four
days
personally,
I
think/feel
I
think/feel
personal
opinion
opinion
puzzling
in
nature
puzzling
refer
back
refer
repeat
again
repeat
return
again
return
revert
back
revert
shorter/longer
in
length
shorter/longer
small/large
in
size
small/large
square/round/rectangular
in
shape
square/round/rectangular
summarize
briefly
summarize
surrounded
on
all
sides
surrounded
surrounding
circumstances
circumstances
the
future
to
come
the
future
there
is
no
doubt
but
that
no
doubt
usual/habitual
custom
custom
we
are
in
receipt
of
we
have
received
Sco 4_4 Reducing clauses to phrases, phrases to single
V1:
REDUCING
CLAUSES
TO
PHRASES,
PHRASES
TO
SINGLE
Be
alert
for
clauses
or
phrases
that
can
be
pared
to
simpler,
shorter
constructions.
The
"which
clause"
can
often
be
shortened
to
a
simple
adjective.
(Be
careful,
however,
not
to
lose
some
needed
emphasis
by
over-­‐-­‐-­‐pruning;
the
word
"which,"
which
is
sometimes
necessary
[as
it
is
in
this
sentence],
is
not
evil.)
•
Smith
College,
which
was
founded
in
1871,
is
the
premier
all-­‐-­‐-­‐women's
college
in
the
United
States.
•
Founded
in
1871,
Smith
College
is
the
premier
all-­‐-­‐-­‐
women's
college
in
the
United
States.
•
Citizens
who
knew
what
was
going
on
voted
him
out
of
office.
•
Knowledgeable
citizens
voted
him
out
of
office.
•
Recommending
that
a
student
copy
from
another
student's
paper
is
not
something
he
would
recommended

9. •
He
wouldn't
recommend
that
a
student
copy
from
another
student's
paper.
(Or
"He
would
never
tell
a
student
to
copy
.
.
.
.")
Phrases,
too,
can
sometimes
be
trimmed,
sometimes
to
a
single
word.
•
Unencumbered
by
a
sense
of
responsibility,
Jason
left
his
wife
with
forty-­‐-­‐-­‐nine
kids
and
a
can
of
beans.
•
Jason
irresponsibly
left
his
wife
with
forty-­‐-­‐-­‐nine
kids
and
a
can
of
beans.
(Or
leave
out
the
word
altogether
and
let
the
act
speak
for
itself.)
V2:
INTENSIFIERS
THAT
DON’T
INTENSIFY
Avoid
using
words
such
as
really,
very,
quite,
extremely,
severely
when
they
are
not
necessary.
It
is
probably
enough
to
say
that
the
salary
increase
is
inadequate.
Does
saying
that
it
is
severely
inadequate
introduce
anything
more
than
a
tone
of
hysteria?
These
words
shouldn't
be
banished
from
your
vocabulary,
but
they
will
be
used
to
best
effect
when
used
sparingly.
Sco 4_5 Avoiding Expletive Constructions
V1:
AVOIDING
EXPLETIVE
CONSTRUCTIONS
This
sounds
like
something
a
politician
has
to
learn
to
avoid,
but,
no,
an
expletive
construction
is
a
common
device
that
often
robs
a
sentence
of
energy
before
it
gets
a
chance
to
do
its
work.
Expletive
constructions
begin
with
there
is/are
or
it
is.
•
There
are
twenty-­‐-­‐-­‐five
students
who
have
already
expressed
a
desire
to
attend
the
program
next
summer.
It
is
they
and
their
parents
who
stand
to
gain
the
most
by
the
government
grant.
•
Twenty-­‐-­‐-­‐five
students
have
already
expressed
a
desire
to
attend
the
program
next
summer.
They
and
their
parents
stand
to
gain
the
most
by
the
government
grant.
V2:
PHRASES
YOU
CAN
OMIT
Be
on
the
lookout
for
important
sounding
phrases
that
add
nothing
to
the
meaning
of
a
sentence.
Such
phrases
quickly
put
a
reader
on
guard
that
the
writer
is
trading
in
puffery;
worse,
they
put
a
reader
to
sleep.
all
things
considered
All
things
considered,
Connecticut's
woodlands
are
in
better
shape
now
than
ever
before.
All things considered,
Connecticut's
woodlands
are
in
better
shape
now
than
ever
before.
as
a
matter
of
fact
As
a
matter
of
fact,
there
are
more
woodlands
in
Connecticut
now
than
there
were
in
1898.
As a matter of fact,
There
are
more
woodlands
in
Connecticut
now
than
there
were
in
1898.
as
far
as
I'm
concerned
As
far
as
I'm
concerned,
there
is
no
need
for
further
protection
of
woodlands.
As far as I'm concerned, there
Further
protection
of
woodlands
is
not
needed.
at
the
present
time
This
is
because
there
are
fewer
farmers
at
the
present
time.
This
is
because
there
are
fewer
because
of
the
fact
that
farmers
now.
Woodlands
have
grown
in
area
because
of
the
fact
that
farmers
have
abandoned
their
fields.
Woodlands
have
grown
in
area
because
farmers
have
abandoned
their
fields.

10. by
means
of
Major
forest
areas
are
coming
back
by
means
of
natural
processes.
Major
forest
areas
are
coming
back
through
natural
processes.
(or
naturally)
by
virtue
of
the
fact
that
Our
woodlands
are
coming
back
by
virtue
of
the
fact
that
our
economy
has
shifted
its
emphasis.
Our
woodlands
are
coming
back
by virtue of the fact that
because
our
economy
has
shifted
its
emphasis.
due
to
the
fact
that
Due
to
the
fact
that
their
habitats
are
being
restored,
forest
creatures
are
also
re-­‐-­‐-­‐establishing
their
population
bases.
Due to the fact that
Because
their
habitats
are
being
restored,
forest
creatures
are
also
re-­‐-­‐-­‐establishing
their
exists
population
bases.
The
fear
that
exists
among
many
people
that
we
are
losing
our
woodlands
is
uncalled
for.
The
fear
that exists
among
many
people
that
we
are
losing
our
woodlands
is
uncalled
for.
Sco 4_6 Phrases you can omit
V1:
PHRASES
YOU
CAN
OMIT
Be
on
the
lookout
for
important
sounding
phrases
that
add
nothing
to
the
meaning
of
a
sentence.
Such
phrases
quickly
put
a
reader
on
guard
that
the
writer
is
trading
in
puffery;
worse,
they
put
a
reader
to
sleep.
for
all
intents
and
purposes
The
era
in
which
we
must
aggressively
defend
our
woodlands
has,
for
all
intents
and
purposes,
passed.
The
era
in
which
we
must
aggressively
defend
our
woodlands
has, for all
intents and purposes,
passed.
for
the
most
part
For
the
most
part,
people's
suspicions
are
based
on
a
misunderstanding
of
the
facts.
For the most part,
People's
suspicions
are
based
on
a
misunderstanding
of
the
facts.
for
the
purpose
of
Many
woodlands,
in
fact,
have
been
purchased
for
the
purpose
of
creating
public
parks.
Many
woodlands,
in
fact,
have
been
purchased
for the purpose of
creating
have
a
tendency
to
as
public
parks.
tendency
to
isolate
some
communities.
This
policy
has
a
This
policy
has a tendency
tends
to
isolate
some
communities.
in
a
manner
of
speaking
The
policy
has,
in
a
manner
of
speaking,
begun
to
Balkanize
the
more
rural
parts
of
our
state.
The
policy
has, in a manner of speaking,
begun
to
Balkanize
the
more
rural
parts
of
our
state.
in
a
very
real
sense
In
a
very
real
sense,
this
policy
works
to
the
detriment
of
those
it
is
supposed
to
help.
In a very real sense, This
policy
works
to
the
detriment
of
those
it
is
supposed
to
help.
in
my
opinion
In
my
opinion,
this
wasteful
policy
ought
to
be
revoked.
In my opinion,
This
wasteful
policy
in
the
case
of
ought
to
be
revoked.
In
the
case
of
this
particular
policy,
citizens
of
northeast
Connecticut
became
very
upset.
Citizens
of
northeast
Connecticut
became
very
upset
about
his
policy.

11. Sco 4_7 Phrases you can omit
V1:
PHRASES
YOU
CAN
OMIT
Be
on
the
lookout
for
important
sounding
phrases
that
add
nothing
to
the
meaning
of
a
sentence.
Such
phrases
quickly
put
a
reader
on
guard
that
the
writer
is
trading
in
puffery;
worse,
they
put
a
reader
to
sleep.
in
the
final
analysis
In
the
final
analysis,
the
state
would
have
been
better
off
without
such
a
policy.
In the final analysis,
The
state
would
have
been
better
off
without
such
a
policy.
in
the
event
that
In
the
event
that
enough
people
protest,
it
will
probably
be
revoked.
If
enough
people
protest,
it
will
probably
be
in
the
nature
of
revoked.
in
the
nature
of
a
repeal
may
soon
take
Something
place.
Something
in the nature of
like
a
repeal
may
in
the
process
of
soon
take
place.
Legislators
are
already
in
the
process
of
reviewing
the
statutes.
Legislators
are
already
in the process of
it
seems
that
reviewing
the
statutes.
It
seems
that
they
can't
wait
to
get
rid
of
this
one.
It seems that
They
can't
wait
to
manner
get
rid
of
this
one.
the
activities
of
conservationists
in
a
They
have
monitored
cautious
manner.
They
have
cautiously
monitored
the
activities
of
conservationists.
the
point
I
am
trying
to
make
The
point
I
am
trying
to
make
is
that
sometimes
public
policy
doesn't
accomplish
what
it
set
out
to
achieve.
The point I am trying to make is that
Sometimes
public
policy
doesn't
accomplish
what
it
set
out
to
achieve.
type
of
Legislators
need
to
be
more
careful
of
the
type
of
policy
they
propose.
Legislators
need
to
be
more
careful
of
the
type of
what
I
mean
to
say
is
policy
they
propose.
What
I
mean
to
say
is
that
well-­‐-­‐-­‐intentioned
lawmakers
sometimes
make
fools
of
themselves.
What I mean to say is that
Well-­‐-­‐-­‐intentioned
lawmakers
sometimes
make
fools
of
themselves.
V2:
Eliminating
Clichés
and
Euphemisms
A
cliché
is
an
expression
that
was
probably,
once
upon
a
time,
an
original
and
brilliant
way
of
saying
something.
Imagine
being
the
first
person
to
say
something
as
clever
as
"She
fell
head
over
heels
in
love"
or
"She's
cool
as
a
cucumber."
Sadly,
though,
such
expressions
eventually
lose
their
luster
and
become
trite
and
even
annoying.
Writers
who
indulge
in
tired
language
are
not
being
respectful
to
their
readers,
and
writers
return
the
compliment
by
losing
attention
and
going
on
to
something
else.
Sco 4_8 Activity
V1:
ACTIVITY
ON
CONCISE
WORDS
In
this
topic,
learner
will
do
the
exercise
on
the
use
of
concise
words.
Rewrite
the
following
sentences
in
the
text-­‐-­‐-­‐areas
provided.
When
you
are
finished
with
each
sentence
(or,
if
you
wish,
wait
until
you've
done
them
all),
click
on
Grammar's
Version,
which
will
reveal
how
we
might
have
rewritten
the
sentence
to
achieve
a
more
concise
statement.