Spiritual Abuse
Part I: It's characteristics and methods



        Presented by Bob Munson, ThD
  Administrator, Bukal Life Care & Counseling Center
What is “spiritual abuse”? 2 definitions:
“misuse of a position of power, leadership, or
 influence to further the selfish interests of
 someone other than the individual who needs
 help.”
“the manipulation and exploitation of others by
  the misuse of spiritual privilege and power.”


The definitions recognize spiritual as greater than
 simply supernatural, but includes Tillich's view
 of spirit as power combined with meaning.
For the most part, this presentation will focus
 on spiritual abuse that is tied to the
 religious... particularly as related to church,
 parachurch, and discipling relationships. In
 other words, abusive religious systems.


However, it is good to note that spiritual abuse
 of one form or another is common in many
 settings and forms.
NOTE


1. Most if not all spiritual abusers do not see
  themselves as abusers.


2. Most who are spiritually abused do not see
  themselves as being abused... at least at first.
NOTE
1. Spiritual Abuse has been with us for a long,
  long time (see Ezekiel 34, Matthew 23, III
  John).


2. Few groups or leaders really start out as
  abusive.... it develops gradually over time.
  Commonly, the seed of the problem was there
  in the beginning, but it took awhile for that
  seed to bear its destructive fruit.
5 Hallmarks of Abusive Religious Systems

    Authoritarian: Unconditional obedience to the
    leadership.

    Averse to Criticism: The person who dissents is a
    problem to fix-- not the issue brought up.

    Image Conscious: Protecting the reputation of the
    leaders or church is more important than truth or
    justice.

    Perfectionistic: Individual worth is determined by
    performance. No compassion for weakness/failure.

    Unbalanced: Group distinguishes itself by
    overemphasizing a minor theological point.

                -From The Watchmen Fellowship
4 “Rules” of Spiritual Abuse
List by Dr. Graham Barker or the “School of
  Counseling at the Wesley Institute of
  Drummoyne”


“Spiritual abuse shares many common features
  with other abusive systems. The most
  identifiable are the unspoken rules: Don’t
  trust, don’t talk, don’t think and don’t
  question.”
#1. Don't Trust

 “The power wielded by abusive leadership is
  generated from the double premise that they
                 alone are God’s
“anointed” and that their biblical interpretations
  alone are to be trusted. Any interpretation or
        information that does not receive
     their endorsement is untrustworthy.”
#1. Don't Trust

“The “don’t trust” rule squashes the individual’s
              confidence in their own
judgment and their ability to make decisions for
   themselves. Any personal experience that
           contradicts the leadership’s
teachings is also deemed untrustworthy and an
        indicator of spiritual immaturity.”
#2. Don't Think

“Leaders of closed systems do not tolerate the
     study and consideration of alternative
                 interpretations of
  Scripture. Their viewpoints are considered
   unquestionable truth. This closed mindset
           often extends to edicts on
  personal life; clothing, occupation, ministry
   location and even marital choices may be
                    prescribed.”
#2. Don't Think



            “Independent thinking,
particularly any close analysis of the group’s
     belief system, is considered a sign of
           dissention and disloyalty.”
#3. Don't Talk

“In abusive systems any discussion of group
             issues with nonmembers
    is discouraged. The leadership will not
  tolerate outside consultation since it could
      expose the membership to alternative
           solutions and undermine the
             leadership’s authority.”
#4. Don't Question

“Abusive leadership will not tolerate challenges
  to its authority. “Don’t question” is a powerful
                      rule. The
    member who questions the decisions or
       standards of the leadership is usually
     ostracised, humiliated or excluded from
              ministry opportunity.”
8 Methods for Mind Control
“Thought Reform and the Psychology of
  Totalism” by Robert J. Lifton describes 8
  methods used in organizations that seek to
  mind/thought control.


Quotes in this section are excerpts of this book
 as listed in:

http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashin
  g/brainwashing19.html
1. Milieu Control
“Establish domain over not only the individual's
  communication with the outside (all that he
  sees and hears, reads or writes, experiences,
  and expresses), but also - in its penetration
  of his inner life - over what we may speak of
  as his communication with himself.”
2. Mystical Manipulation
“Higher Purpose” or “Special Revelation” is
  used as justification for requiring TOTAL
  FAITH. The purpose supercedes all other
  purposes.
The mystical imperative suggests that ANY
 questioning or reflection not in line with the
 beliefs of the group is from the “dark side”
 (the enemy, from Satan, etc.).
3. Demand for Purity
“The experiential world is sharply divided into
  the pure and the impure, into the absolutely
  good and the absolutely evil. The good and
  the pure are of course those ideas, feelings,
  and actions which are consistent with the
  totalist ideology and policy; anything else is
  apt to be relegated to the bad and the
  impure.”
4. Cult of Confession
“Confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious,
  legal, and therapeutic expressions to the point of
  becoming a cult in itself. There is the demand that
  one confess to crimes one has not committed, to
  sinfulness that is artificially induced, in the name of
  a cure that is arbitrarily imposed. Such demands are
  made possible not only by the ubiquitous human
  tendencies toward guilt and shame but also by the
  need to give expression to these tendencies. In
  totalist hands, confession becomes a means of
  exploiting, rather than offering solace for, these
  vulnerabilities. “
5. The Sacred Science
“The totalist milieu maintains an aura of
  sacredness around its basic dogma, holding
  it out as an ultimate moral vision for the
  ordering of human existence. This
  sacredness is evident in the prohibition
  (whether or not explicit) against the
  questioning of basic assumptions, and in the
  reverence which is demanded for the
  originators of the Word, the present bearers
  of the Word, and the Word itself.”
6. Loading the Language
“The language of the totalist environment is
  characterized by the thought-terminating cliché. The
  most far-reaching and complex of human problems
  are compressed into brief, highly reductive,
  definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and
  easily expressed. These become the start and finish
  of any ideological analysis.”


“For an individual person, the effect of the language of
  ideological totalism can be summed up in one word:
  constriction.”
7. Doctrine over Person
“The underlying assumption is that the doctrine
  - including its mythological elements - is
  ultimately more valid, true, and real than is
  any aspect of actual human character or
  human experience. … Rather than modify the
  myth in accordance with experience, the will
  to orthodoxy requires instead that men be
  modified in order to reaffirm the myth.”
8. The Dispensing of Existence
“The totalist environment draws a sharp line
  between those whose right to existence can
  be recognized, and those who possess no
  such right. … Yet one underlying assumption
  makes this arrogance mandatory: the
  conviction that there is just one path to true
  existence, just one valid mode of being, and
  that all others are perforce invalid and false.”
Some Characteristics of a Spiritual
            Abuser
-Need to control others
-Authoritative style
-Commanding personality
-Inability to tolerate criticism/dissension
-Surrounds with a small, exclusive clique
-Self-proclaimed expert, “anointed”
-Secretive about “private” life
Many religious traditions have
      components that make them
      susceptible to spiritual abuse
-Separatist traditions can drift into an abusive
  isolationist structure.
-Hierarchal or apostolic structures can lead to
  unthinking obedience.
-Prophetic groups open the door to secret revelation
  that quashes critical thinking.
-Holiness movements can drive towards a
  perfectionistic mindset.
-Apocalytic groups can reject the value of structures
  and relationships in the here and now.
Signs to Look Out For
-Are the leaders open and accountable?
-Do they encourage critical thinking?
-Are they willing to consider new ideas and
  initiatives?
-Are they open to a diversity of opinion and
  interpretation?
Correcting Myths About the Abused
                      (From Stephen Martin)
People do not normally choose to be part of an spiritually
  abusive group. The group appears to be a sheep, yet is a
  “wolf in sheep's clothing.”

People are not fools, crazy, or “unspiritual” for getting into such
  a group. Often they are very moral and are idealistic,
  unhappy with other groups they have seen. Abusive groups,
  in fact, often seek out “the best and the brightest.”

Just leaving an abusive group is not necessarily enough. The
  abused are now wary and mistrusting of others who appear
  to be kind and helpful (their old group appeared that way as
  well). They need special care in recovery.
TThe  word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, prophesy
against the shepherds of Israel … 'This is what the Sovereign
LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of
themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? … You
have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up
the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for
the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were
scattered because there was no shepherd … Therefore, you
shepherds, hear the word of the LORD … because my shepherds
did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for
my flock … I am against the shepherds and will hold them
accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock
… I myself will search for my sheep and look after them … I will
bind up the injured and strengthen the weak … I will shepherd the
flock with justice … I will save my flock, and they will no longer be
plundered … You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people,
and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD.'" (Excerpts
from Ezekiel 34)
References

    Enroth, Ronald M. “Churches that Abuse.”
    Zondervan.

    The Watchmen Fellowship

    http://www.rickross.com

    Barker, Graham. “The Insidious Harm of Spiritual
    Abuse” Alive Magazine

    Lifton, Robert J. “Thought Reform and the
    Psychology of Totalism.”

    Martin, Stephen. “Wolves in Sheep's Clothing”
    www.wellspringretreat.org.

Spiritual Abuse I

  • 1.
    Spiritual Abuse Part I:It's characteristics and methods Presented by Bob Munson, ThD Administrator, Bukal Life Care & Counseling Center
  • 2.
    What is “spiritualabuse”? 2 definitions: “misuse of a position of power, leadership, or influence to further the selfish interests of someone other than the individual who needs help.” “the manipulation and exploitation of others by the misuse of spiritual privilege and power.” The definitions recognize spiritual as greater than simply supernatural, but includes Tillich's view of spirit as power combined with meaning.
  • 3.
    For the mostpart, this presentation will focus on spiritual abuse that is tied to the religious... particularly as related to church, parachurch, and discipling relationships. In other words, abusive religious systems. However, it is good to note that spiritual abuse of one form or another is common in many settings and forms.
  • 4.
    NOTE 1. Most ifnot all spiritual abusers do not see themselves as abusers. 2. Most who are spiritually abused do not see themselves as being abused... at least at first.
  • 5.
    NOTE 1. Spiritual Abusehas been with us for a long, long time (see Ezekiel 34, Matthew 23, III John). 2. Few groups or leaders really start out as abusive.... it develops gradually over time. Commonly, the seed of the problem was there in the beginning, but it took awhile for that seed to bear its destructive fruit.
  • 6.
    5 Hallmarks ofAbusive Religious Systems  Authoritarian: Unconditional obedience to the leadership.  Averse to Criticism: The person who dissents is a problem to fix-- not the issue brought up.  Image Conscious: Protecting the reputation of the leaders or church is more important than truth or justice.  Perfectionistic: Individual worth is determined by performance. No compassion for weakness/failure.  Unbalanced: Group distinguishes itself by overemphasizing a minor theological point.  -From The Watchmen Fellowship
  • 7.
    4 “Rules” ofSpiritual Abuse List by Dr. Graham Barker or the “School of Counseling at the Wesley Institute of Drummoyne” “Spiritual abuse shares many common features with other abusive systems. The most identifiable are the unspoken rules: Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t think and don’t question.”
  • 8.
    #1. Don't Trust “The power wielded by abusive leadership is generated from the double premise that they alone are God’s “anointed” and that their biblical interpretations alone are to be trusted. Any interpretation or information that does not receive their endorsement is untrustworthy.”
  • 9.
    #1. Don't Trust “The“don’t trust” rule squashes the individual’s confidence in their own judgment and their ability to make decisions for themselves. Any personal experience that contradicts the leadership’s teachings is also deemed untrustworthy and an indicator of spiritual immaturity.”
  • 10.
    #2. Don't Think “Leadersof closed systems do not tolerate the study and consideration of alternative interpretations of Scripture. Their viewpoints are considered unquestionable truth. This closed mindset often extends to edicts on personal life; clothing, occupation, ministry location and even marital choices may be prescribed.”
  • 11.
    #2. Don't Think “Independent thinking, particularly any close analysis of the group’s belief system, is considered a sign of dissention and disloyalty.”
  • 12.
    #3. Don't Talk “Inabusive systems any discussion of group issues with nonmembers is discouraged. The leadership will not tolerate outside consultation since it could expose the membership to alternative solutions and undermine the leadership’s authority.”
  • 13.
    #4. Don't Question “Abusiveleadership will not tolerate challenges to its authority. “Don’t question” is a powerful rule. The member who questions the decisions or standards of the leadership is usually ostracised, humiliated or excluded from ministry opportunity.”
  • 14.
    8 Methods forMind Control “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism” by Robert J. Lifton describes 8 methods used in organizations that seek to mind/thought control. Quotes in this section are excerpts of this book as listed in: http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashin g/brainwashing19.html
  • 15.
    1. Milieu Control “Establishdomain over not only the individual's communication with the outside (all that he sees and hears, reads or writes, experiences, and expresses), but also - in its penetration of his inner life - over what we may speak of as his communication with himself.”
  • 16.
    2. Mystical Manipulation “HigherPurpose” or “Special Revelation” is used as justification for requiring TOTAL FAITH. The purpose supercedes all other purposes. The mystical imperative suggests that ANY questioning or reflection not in line with the beliefs of the group is from the “dark side” (the enemy, from Satan, etc.).
  • 17.
    3. Demand forPurity “The experiential world is sharply divided into the pure and the impure, into the absolutely good and the absolutely evil. The good and the pure are of course those ideas, feelings, and actions which are consistent with the totalist ideology and policy; anything else is apt to be relegated to the bad and the impure.”
  • 18.
    4. Cult ofConfession “Confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious, legal, and therapeutic expressions to the point of becoming a cult in itself. There is the demand that one confess to crimes one has not committed, to sinfulness that is artificially induced, in the name of a cure that is arbitrarily imposed. Such demands are made possible not only by the ubiquitous human tendencies toward guilt and shame but also by the need to give expression to these tendencies. In totalist hands, confession becomes a means of exploiting, rather than offering solace for, these vulnerabilities. “
  • 19.
    5. The SacredScience “The totalist milieu maintains an aura of sacredness around its basic dogma, holding it out as an ultimate moral vision for the ordering of human existence. This sacredness is evident in the prohibition (whether or not explicit) against the questioning of basic assumptions, and in the reverence which is demanded for the originators of the Word, the present bearers of the Word, and the Word itself.”
  • 20.
    6. Loading theLanguage “The language of the totalist environment is characterized by the thought-terminating cliché. The most far-reaching and complex of human problems are compressed into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed. These become the start and finish of any ideological analysis.” “For an individual person, the effect of the language of ideological totalism can be summed up in one word: constriction.”
  • 21.
    7. Doctrine overPerson “The underlying assumption is that the doctrine - including its mythological elements - is ultimately more valid, true, and real than is any aspect of actual human character or human experience. … Rather than modify the myth in accordance with experience, the will to orthodoxy requires instead that men be modified in order to reaffirm the myth.”
  • 22.
    8. The Dispensingof Existence “The totalist environment draws a sharp line between those whose right to existence can be recognized, and those who possess no such right. … Yet one underlying assumption makes this arrogance mandatory: the conviction that there is just one path to true existence, just one valid mode of being, and that all others are perforce invalid and false.”
  • 23.
    Some Characteristics ofa Spiritual Abuser -Need to control others -Authoritative style -Commanding personality -Inability to tolerate criticism/dissension -Surrounds with a small, exclusive clique -Self-proclaimed expert, “anointed” -Secretive about “private” life
  • 24.
    Many religious traditionshave components that make them susceptible to spiritual abuse -Separatist traditions can drift into an abusive isolationist structure. -Hierarchal or apostolic structures can lead to unthinking obedience. -Prophetic groups open the door to secret revelation that quashes critical thinking. -Holiness movements can drive towards a perfectionistic mindset. -Apocalytic groups can reject the value of structures and relationships in the here and now.
  • 25.
    Signs to LookOut For -Are the leaders open and accountable? -Do they encourage critical thinking? -Are they willing to consider new ideas and initiatives? -Are they open to a diversity of opinion and interpretation?
  • 26.
    Correcting Myths Aboutthe Abused (From Stephen Martin) People do not normally choose to be part of an spiritually abusive group. The group appears to be a sheep, yet is a “wolf in sheep's clothing.” People are not fools, crazy, or “unspiritual” for getting into such a group. Often they are very moral and are idealistic, unhappy with other groups they have seen. Abusive groups, in fact, often seek out “the best and the brightest.” Just leaving an abusive group is not necessarily enough. The abused are now wary and mistrusting of others who appear to be kind and helpful (their old group appeared that way as well). They need special care in recovery.
  • 27.
    TThe wordof the LORD came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel … 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? … You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd … Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD … because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock … I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock … I myself will search for my sheep and look after them … I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak … I will shepherd the flock with justice … I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered … You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD.'" (Excerpts from Ezekiel 34)
  • 28.
    References  Enroth, Ronald M. “Churches that Abuse.” Zondervan.  The Watchmen Fellowship  http://www.rickross.com  Barker, Graham. “The Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse” Alive Magazine  Lifton, Robert J. “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism.”  Martin, Stephen. “Wolves in Sheep's Clothing” www.wellspringretreat.org.