Relationship Building Conversations In Five Simple Steps
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The document outlines a six-unit course on relationship building conversations. The course teaches a five-step framework for improving conversations: show up, listen up, speak up, lift up, and follow up. Each step is then explained in more detail, providing tools and barriers to address. Participants are assigned homework to practice the five steps and complete a survey. The overall goal is to teach simple and effective techniques for building stronger relationships through improved conversations.
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Relationship Building Conversations In Five Simple Steps
- 1. Dr Tim Baker tim@winnersatwork.com.au www.winnersatwork.com.au Relationship Building Conversations In Five Simple Steps
- 2. Unit 1—Being An Authentic Leader Unit 2—Five Conversations Framework Unit 3—Improving Coaching Conversations Using GROW Unit 4—Visioning And Purpose Conversations To Improve Engagement Unit 5—Encouraging Conversations To Build Commitment Unit 6—Relationship Building Conversations In Five Simple Steps
- 3. Five steps Tools Barriers to better relationships
- 4. 1. Show up 2. Listen up 3. Speak up 4. Lift up 5. Follow up
- 5. 1. Show up
- 6. 2. Listen up
- 7. Paraphrasing In other words … Check you understand 1 Show that you do understand 2 Take control off the conversation 3
- 8. 3. Speak up
- 11. 4. Lift up • Say thank-you • Acknowledge their contribution • Express gratitude for their candour • Leave the person feeling respected & valued
- 12. 5. Follow up
- 14. Lack of feedback
- 20. 1. Show up 2. Listen up 3. Speak up 4. Lift up 5. Follow up
- 21. Your homework Complete the survey online and practice the five steps.
- 22. Unit 1—Being An Authentic Leader Unit 2—Five Conversations Framework Unit 3—Improving Coaching Conversations Using GROW Unit 4—Visioning And Purpose Conversations To Improve Engagement Unit 5—Encouraging Conversations To Build Commitment Unit 6—Relationship Building Conversations In Five Simple Steps
Editor's Notes
- Warren Bennis identified the “management of attention” as one of the core competencies of highly successful leaders. How do we improve your ability to manage your attention? Three things help with the management of attention: Reduce manageable distractions Multi-tasking is not efficient. Shifting from one activity to the next can give the illusion of efficiency. But you are short changing yourself on both activities. Focus on one conversation at a time. If the conversation is worth having, it is worth your complete undivided attention. Identify your most attentive time of the day. Important conversations ought to take place in high energy times. Ask yourself: How present am I in this conversation?
- Exercise: Christmas
- “I don’t want to open a can of worms” “let sleeping dogs lie” Talk about the story of the orchestra: two musicians have not spoken to each other for 10 years.
- “You’ll get told on a need to know basis” is a common refrain from a manager with a traditional psychological contract mindset. This idea is borne out of the notion that employees can’t be trusted with confidential information. The assumption is that managers can be trusted, but employees can’t. This is erroneous. Granted, there are more employees than managers, but the idea of not communicating because of a lack of trust is a barrier to genuine, open dialogue. It is a two-way street too: Employees have to be willing to share bad news to managers too.
- Use email & calendar: What get’s followed up, gets done.
- Psychological, structural, cultural, procedural, or physical.
- Australian managers are worst in the world at giving timely, relevant, and balanced feedback. Feedback ought to be a dialogue, not a monologue. Tell the story of the 19 year old employee who received no feedback.
- Discuss the concept of managers being trained to answer questions not ask them. Talk about the story of the accident in the production area. The person who asks the questions has control of the conversation always. Show me a good conversationalist, and I’ll show you someone who asks lots of questions. 3 rule exercise
- Conversations in the bosses office are not necessarily going to be the best conversations. In paramilitary organizations based on power, conversations can be accompanied by lots of paperwork and red tape. This stifles conversation. The best conversations ironically occur around the watercooler, in the hallways, in the car driving back from a client or customer meeting.
- The average person spends 2.5 hours a day on email. What would those 2.5 hours be spend doing before email? Conversation? Having a conversation via email is not a real conversation; it is asynchronous; the sending and receiving doesn’t happen at the same time. Would this be best discussed in person or via the telephone?
- What do your senior managers do? Tell the story of the police commissioner
- There are two issues here with physical layout: proximity and layout. Proximity refers to the relative physical distance between people. Layout in the office environment; the further someone is from the centre of the action, the more likely they are to be less involved and engaged in the daily operations. We have found interestingly, that the move in recent times to open office plans do encourage open communication, but because people can be heard due to lack of privacy, there is less meaningful interactions. Managers often say to me “I have an open door policy”; I feel like saying, “Yes, but do you have an open mind?”