This document discusses personal relationships and responsibilities within relationships. It begins by defining personal relationships as interactions between individuals that help fulfill fundamental needs for survival and belonging. It then explores how attachments are formed from infancy through relationships with caregivers. Key components of relationships like intimacy, commitment, passion and attraction are examined. The document stresses the importance of responsibilities like respecting others, providing support, and being accountable in relationships to make them healthy and long-lasting.

1. MARY JOY ADELFA P. DAILO, LPT
GE Lecturer
Informatics Computer Institute - CDO
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323-2914
mjadailo@informatics.edu.ph
https://www.messenger.com/t/InfoInstituteCDO

2. Learning objectives:
Discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the
acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions
Express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and
commitment.
Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship.

3. Personal
Relationships

4. WHAT IS PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?
• Even before language was invented, pre-historic humans were
already interacting through many other forms of behavior.
• They may have learned how to smile or greet each other; show love,
affection, and even loyalty to the group; and hunt together for food.
• This interaction was necessary for survival of the group where an
individual belonged.
• Survival was the primary reason why human beings have the
fundamental need to belong.

5. WHAT IS PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?
• In today’s world, this need to belong still exists, perhaps because it
has been imprinted in our genetic memory that was passed on to us
by our ancestors.
• Belonging to a group generates many benefits like having a support
system when you need some shoulder to cry on or draw some
strength from.
• The relationships that are nurtured in a group help each one of us
survive.

6. HOW DO YOU
EXPRESS YOUR
ATTRACTION TOWARD
ANOTHER PERSON?

7. A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH
FRIENDS IS A SOURCE OF LIFETIME
HAPPINESS
• Researchers have found that relationships are
important to one’s happiness.
• The absence of close relationships can produce a
deep negative effect on an individual who is denied of
it, such as feeling worthless, powerless, and
alienated.

8. BUT HOW DO WE
DEFINE
RELATIONSHIP?

9. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
defines relationship as:
• “The way in which two or more people, groups, countries,
etc., talk to and deal with each other.”
• The definition is extended to include “the way in which two
or more people or things are connected.”

10. TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS
DEPENDING ON THE NATURE OF
INTERACTION THAT EXIST BETWEEN
TWO OR MORE ENTITIES
• Business transactional relationship
• Professional relationship
• Family relationship
• Friendly relationship
• Romantic relationship

11. We can also say that every relationship has
specific objectives or purpose that a person
wishes to pursue, either because of need,
want, or desire.

12. HOW ARE
ATTACHMENTS
DEVELOPED?

13. HOW ARE ATTACHMENTS
DEVELOPED?
• The very first meaningful relationship every human being encounters
is with one’s mother. Even before birth, the mother-child relationship
is already established.
• The intimacy that is nurtured during the nine months of pregnancy
will be enhanced and developed further after the birth of the child.
• A careless and non-caring pregnant mother can affect the child in the
womb, which may leave psychological and emotional scars even
before the child is born.

14. HOW ARE ATTACHMENTS
DEVELOPED?
• Research has confirmed that emotional experiences of expectant
mothers, particularly strong emotions such as anger or anxiety, which
produce chemicals in the body such as adrenaline, affect the child in
the womb.
• At the moment of birth when the child is laid beside the mother to
be fed and cuddled, bonding occurs and the infant develops an
attachment to the mother, and later on with the father.
• A mother who gazes at her child’s face and the child responding with
a smile are the foundations of our sense of physiological and
psychological well-being.

15. THREE DIFFERENT ATTACHMENT
STYLES
•Secure Attachment
•Avoidant Attachment
•Anxious-ambivalent Attachment

16. SECURE ATTACHMENT
• Is when the primary caregiver is the most of the time
present and when all the emotional needs of an infant are
providing a sense of security to the infant.
• Chances for a child who is exposed to this style of
attachment, grow up to have more secure and stable
relationships.

17. AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
• Is when the primary caregiver is cold and detached, and even
unresponsive to a child’s need.
• A person who experienced this style of attachment in infancy
and childhood will oftentimes experience unstable
relationships in the future.

18. ANXIOUS-AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT
• Is when the primary caregiver is not consistent in terms of
presence and in the meeting a child’s emotional needs.
• A person who experienced this style of attachment in
childhood may develop separation anxieties with a loved
one, or may have mixed feelings between hesitancy and
commitment when entering into meaningful relationships.

19. WHAT DRIVES
ATTRACTION?

20. • When attraction between two persons is discussed, it is often
understood as based on physical appearance.
• While this might be true to a certain extent, there is more to
attraction that what we already know.

21. In the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) website under
Science:
• Human Body and Mind, attraction is the first stage, and during
changes of personality development it lead to closeness and
commitment.

22. According to the website which referred to the biological
model of love as proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher of
Rutgers University in New Jersey:
• Attraction is primarily based on physiology or certain hormones that
persons who get attracted to others often pick up with their noses.

23. •Being attracted to another person may also
mean liking their genes that are perceived
through their physical looks.

24. THREE STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE
by Helen Fisher
• Lust
• Attraction
• Attachment

25. LUST
• Is driven by the sex hormones, testosterone, and
estrogen. These hormones affect both sexes.

26. ATTRACTION
• Is described as the lovestruck phase, which involves
neurotransmitters in the brain such as dopamine,
neropinephrine, and serotonin.
• This is the stage when a person loses sleep and
appetite over someone, and become very excited to
someone while daydreaming of this special person.

27. ATTACHMENT
• When the couple in love decides to continue with the
relationship, they enter the attachment stage where
long-lasting commitments are exchanged and may
lead to raising a family

28. Other reason why people attracted to one
another according to Rozenberg
Quarterly:
• TRANSFERENCE EFFECT
• PROPINQUITY EFFECT
• SIMILARITY
• RECIPROCITY
• PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
• PERSONALITY CHARACTERISTICS AND TRAITS

29. TRANSFERENCE EFFECT
• There are times we meet people who we immediately
like or dislike. Usually, these people remind us of
someone in the past who has affected our sense of
self and our behavior.

30. PROPINQUITY EFFECT
• We often develop a sense of familiarity with people
who live close to us, work with us, or go to school
with us, which leads us to liking them more.

31. SIMILARITY
• We are often attracted to like-minded persons and
those who have similar beliefs and values as ours,
because the similarity is a validation of our innermost
values and belief system, and who we are as a
person.

32. PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
• Several research studies were conducted to confirm
that physical attractiveness is a major factor in liking
someone, and usually, first impression counts a lot,
too.

33. PERSONALITY CHARACTERISTICS
AND TRAITS
• People get attracted to characteristics that lead to
liking the other person.
• Emphatic persons, who exude warmth and sympathy
and who are also optimistic and maintain positive
views; and socially competent person, who are good
communicators and enjoy good conversations.

34. RECIPROCITY
• We like people who like us back. The more we are
liked by someone we equally like, the more we
behave in ways that promote mutual feeling of liking.

35. LOVE AND INTIMACY
Is love a feeling?
Is love a thought?
Is love physical?
Love is a feeling of deep affection, passion,
or strong liking for a person or thing.

36. • The American Heritage Dictionary defines love as:
• A strong feeling of affection and concern toward
• another person, as that arising from kinship or close
friendship;
• A strong feeling of affection and concern for another person
accompanied by sexual attraction;
• A feeling of devotion or adoration toward God or a god;
• A feeling kindness or concern by God or a good toward
humans;
• Sexual desire or activity: the pleasures of love;

37. Based on these definitions, we see angles of what
love is?
• It is an emotion, a feeling, a virtue, an action, and an
experience. Love is also defined differently in different
cultures.

38. Different Components Of Love As Theorized In
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory Of Love
• Intimacy
• Commitment
• Passion

39. INTIMACY
Researchers Reis, Clark, and Holmes and Shaver defined
intimacy as:
• "That lovely moment when someone understands and
validate us."

40. • Being intimate with another person is about being open and
vulnerable to that person whom we deeply trust, who we
feel connected with, and who values us with unconditional
positive regard, which is viewing the other person with
complete trust and free of suspicion or negative thought.

41. • Communication is a key component in developing intimacy,
where self-disclosure is practiced which leads to profound
and meaningful conservations that nurture and strengthen
intimacy.
• Self-disclosure requires honesty for it to work, and is a tool
in enhancing the love relationship between two person.

42. COMMITMENT
• Is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by
agreements made with another person, entity, or cause, and
where the values of integrity and respect serve as a guide to
one’s behavior and thinking.
• Commitment in a love relationship is expressed
continuously in caring and loving actions for the beloved.

43. PASSION
• Passion, as defined in generic terms, is the intense
state of being that drives and consumes a person to
pursue an interest, a vision, or a person.
• In terms of romantic love, passion connotes sexual
attraction, as well as intimacy.

44. STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY
OF LOVE Liking
(Intimacy alone)
Companionate love
(intimacy +commitment)
Romanticlove
(intimacy +passion)
Infatuation
(passion alone)
Empty love
(commitment alone)
Consummate love
(intimacy + passion +
commitment)
Fatuous love
(passion + commitment)
Intimacy

45. • Attraction serves as the first step toward liking
someone, and among all the basis of attraction that
were discussed, reciprocity (mutual liking) is what
triggers a couple to move forward romance and
intimacy, and eventually, to commitment.

46. COMMITMENT: SAYING YES AND
MEANING IT
• We defined commitment as a continuing process of
showing love and care; fulfilling the promises or
agreements made with each other; and through bad
times and good times, the commitment stays firm
and in place.

47. Psychologist have conducted research on commitment and
have identified three variables related to it (Rozenberg
Quarterly):
1. Accumulation of all rewards of the relationship
2. Temptation of alternative partners
3. Investments made by couple in the relationship

48. 1. Accumulation of all rewards of the
relationship
• Considered as the most important determinant of
satisfaction in a relationship.
• Rewards of the relationship include:
• Support from the partner
• Sexual satisfaction
• Emotional
• Financial
• Physical security
• Adventure
• Novelty

49. 2. Temptation of alternative partners
• It was noted that the fewer options a party in a
relationship gets exposed to, the lesser the possibility
of breaking the relationship.

50. 3. Investments made by the couple in the
relationship
• These investments may include time spent together,
common beliefs and experiences, mutual experiences
with mutual friends, and bearing children. It was also
discovered that religious beliefs reinforce
commitment.

51. Researchers identified behaviors married couples
may do that can predict a divorce or separation:
• Criticism
• Denial of the existence of conflict
• Contempt

52. CRITICISM
• This happens when there is the absence of
unconditional positive regard for each other in a
relationship.
• Constantly finding fault in the other partner will result
in negative feelings and resentment.

53. DENIAL OF THE EXISTENCE OF
CONFLICT
• When one party eludes the presence of a problem
and refuses to discuss it, as if belittling the problem, it
will result in frustration on the side of the other party.

54. CONTEMPT
• Like criticism, contempt is present when someone who looks
down on the party as inferior does not give unconditional
positive regard, and aggravates the situation by expressing
superiority over the other
• According to research (Rozenberg Quarterly), this is the
“ultimate expression of disillusionment and highly predictive
of divorce” or separation.

55. RESPONSIBILITIES IN A
RELATIONSHIP
Some important responsibilities that are necessary in a relationship
to make it flourish and stay beneficial for the parties involved:
1. Beresponsible for what you think and say to the other person.
2. Be responsible for what you promise to do or not to do.
3. Ensure the relationship is mutually beneficial.
4. Respect the other party or parties involved.
5. Be ready to provide support when needed.

56. ACTIVITY
How do you show responsibility in your relationships:
1. When you’re at home?
2. With the authorities in school?
3. With your friends?
4. With someone you have a romantic relationship with?

57. END OF SESSION

58. Consultation Hours:
• TBA

59. THANK
YOU! Prepared by:
ACADEMIC COUNCIL
AY 2019-2020
MARY JOY ADELFA P. DAILO, LPT
Lecturer
323-2914
mjadailo@informatics.edu.ph
https://www.messenger.com/t/InfoInstituteCDO
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