This document provides an introduction to concepts of interpersonal attraction. It explains social psychological theories of attraction and love. It discusses types of interpersonal behavior and relationships, including attraction, proximity, reciprocity, and similarity. It also covers evolutionary psychological perspectives on attraction, including preferences for beauty, status, and cues to fertility. Different types of love are outlined, including styles identified by Lee and Sternberg's triangular theory of love. The impact of technology like social media on modern relationships is also briefly discussed.

1. Interpersonal Attraction
Understanding the Person
Dr Michelle Lowe

2. Aims
To provide an introduction to concepts of
interpersonal attraction
To explain social psychological concepts of
attraction and love

3. Content of Session
• Types of interpersonal behaviour
• The concept of attraction
• Theories of attraction and attachment
• Types of relationships and love

4. Types of Interpersonal Behaviour
• Move towards others: interaction, co-
operation, cohesiveness. Social integration.
• Move away from others: exclusiveness,
independence, autonomy. Social distance.
• Move against others: hostile and
aggressive behaviour.

5. Pro-social Behaviours
Altruism: doing things for others without personal
gain or interest
– In biological terms, to the detriment of the individual’s
personal survival
Pro-social behaviour: socially appropriate
behaviour such as helping, co-operating sharing
or supporting.
EXAMPLES?

6. Anti-social Behaviours
• Anti-social behaviour: violating social
norms such as addiction, crime or
aggression
• Context can change these definitions, for
example aggression against the enemy is
“appropriate” in war and helping the enemy
is anti-social behaviour…

7. What is Attraction?
• A tendency that draws people together
Primary social motive - people need people!
• Related concepts:
– need for affiliation (Murray,1935,1943)
– balance (“sociostat” - Latané & Werner, 1978)

8. Very Popular in the Media!
Think of informal questionnaires or quizzes
about sex or emotional relationships – lots of
examples!

9. Why do we find others attractive?
• Familiarity - two aspects
– Proximity (the boy/girl next door effect). People
are more likely to interact with others who are
there at the same time.
– Mere exposure effect (Zajonc,1968) - the more
often people are exposed to a ‘novel stimulus’
(word, geometric shape or face) the more attractive
it becomes (the more positively it is evaluated).
This can operate without conscious awareness

10. Proximity
• Even subtle features in buildings can affect
process of making acquaintances – e.g.
workplace
• Availability – interaction requires less
effort!
• ***Limits - initial response,
overexposure***

11. Why do we find others attractive?
• Beauty – evolution or culture???
– body shape (Singh)
– facial features (averaged and symmetrical)
– Two month olds spend more time gazing at
attractive faces than at unattractive faces.
– Historical and cultural variation in what
constitutes beauty…
– “Beautiful is good” stereotype (see last lecture)

12. Why Beauty is Good
• Attractive people are judged more
positively:
• Judged more honest
• Earning more money
• Less maladapted
• Happier and better personality
Can you think of exceptions???

13. Why do we find others attractive?
• We like others who are similar to us:
– Newcomb (1961) Attitudinal similarity.
– Duck (1973,1977,1982 etc.) --- Duck examined the
effects of similarity in attitudes, personality and
personal constructs
– Opposites may attract but similarity stays together.
Dissimilarity filter (Byrne et al.)
– This provides the basis for positive social comparison
and interpersonal validation. Also a sense of shared
norms (what is normal in society)

14. We like people who are like us…
• Physical attractiveness and the matching
hypothesis (Feingold,1988).
• We like others who like us - reciprocity.
• The concept of reciprocity takes a variety of
forms in social psychological theory
including:
• Heider and balance theory; social exchange
theory and equity theory

15. Reciprocity
• Like those who like us
• Dislike those who dislike us!
• People who believe they are liked are more
attracted to group than those who believe
they are disliked!
• Reciprocal liking major determinant of
attraction (Sprecher, 1998)

16. Individual Differences
• Security and attachment (see later)
• Self esteem – high SE less affected by
rejection – do not need to bolster
themselves by others

17. Heider and Balance Theory
– Heider (1958) - Balance Theory
This has been summarised as follows:
*my friend’s friend is my friend
*my friend’s enemy is my enemy
*my enemy’s friend is my enemy
*my enemy’s enemy is my friend

18. Social Exchange Theory
– This is a complicated theory which views human
behaviour in ‘economic’ terms…
– Key Concepts: rewards, costs, comparison level,
comparison level of alternatives, and investments.
Outcomes are in terms of satisfaction and
commitment.
– This is reviews the validity of the model as a whole
– http://abctcouples.org/Karney1995.pdf applies
theory to marital relationships.

19. Equity Theory
• This is a much simpler theory than SET
• States that partners in a relationship will
stay together if there is perceived equality in
the ratio of benefits to contributions for
each partner.
• This is a theoretically interesting view:
http://www.elainehatfield.com/ch109.pdf

20. Types of Relationships
• Affiliative – these are relationships with
those who we feel are ‘like us’ and share
our social norms
• Attachment - a theory of the nature of
intimate relationships also used as a type of
relationship.
• Intimate -
– feelings of attachment, affection, and love
– fulfilment of needs and interdependence.

21. Attachment
• Attachment Theory is based in
psychoanalysis, comparative psychology
and cognitive psychology. John Bowlby
• Claims to explain the existence of a lifelong
capacity to form ‘attachment relationships’.
The prototype is the relationship between
mother and infant. In later life attachment
relationships are formed between adults

22. Other Kinds of Relationships
• Exchange relationships - based on reward
and short-term repayment of benefits. Fits
well with social exchange or equity models.
Strangers or business partners.
• Communal relationships - partners
respond to each other’s needs and well-
being over time without regard for given or
received benefit (based on cultural
comparisons)

23. The Romance of Evolutionary
Psychology
• Hinde: Men seek to propagate widely
whereas women seek to propagate wisely.
• Buss (1994) & Trivers (1972):
– women should be attracted to men who are
older and financially secure or have
intelligence, ambition, stability etc. i.e.
prospects.
– Men like young, physically attractive and
faithful (rather than promiscuous) women.

24. Evolutionary Theory
• Charles Darwin – huge influence on research
across disciplines.
• Evolutionary psychology uses Darwin’s principles
of natural selection to explain sex differences in
reproduction in the modern day.
• Reproduction is basis of evolutionary survival –
behaviours that maximise chance of reproduction
continued from one generation to another.
• Survival of the fittest and The Selfish Gene
(Richard Dawkins)

25. Reproductive Strategies
• Sex differences – competition with own sex for
“best genes” of opposite sex
• Certain behaviours give members of a particular
sex an evolutionary advantage over the rest, these
are shown in differences in, e.g. sexual and
aggressive behaviours – these differences should
be measurable
• Males: pre-programmed for promiscuity – low
parental investment
• Females pre-programmed for selectivity – high
parental investment

26. Sexual Behaviour in Evolution
• If the parental investment hypothesis holds water,
we should be able to predict certain behaviours in
men and women:
• Men – more sexual partners? YES (Simpson &
Gangestad, 1991)
• Men - higher sex drive? Problems with
measurement, but men masturbate more (Oliver &
Hyde, 1993) – specific behaviours also indicate
this: e.g. men buy more porn and frequent Internet
chat rooms/dating sites more than women

27. Sexual Behaviour (Continued)
• Promiscuity in gay men – no women to “slow them down”
(Bailey et al, 1994)
• Men – more interested in physical appearance (cues for
health), but women also interested in status and cues for
wealth? – YES (Bailey et al, 1994)
• Singh (1993) – men favour women with narrow waists –
0.7 WHR – cues for fertility – much research on this now
• Evolutionary benefits of men responding quickly to
“attractive” women

28. Variability – What about Social
Factors?
• Evolutionary Theory should also predict that there
is a greater variability of sexual partners in men,
such that “successful” men have more –
historically, this has been the case
• “Cads” verses “Dads”
• HOWEVER – Simpson & Gangestad (1991) also
found a large variability in women’s number of
sexual partners. What does this mean for
Evolutionary Theory?

29. Social Factors
• More restrictions on women historically. “Nice” girls don’t
watch porn and they marry rich men
• Women called “sluts” for being sexually responsive to a lot
of men – apparent in rape myths
• How much is nurture?
• The media love this stuff!
The Science of Valentine's Day!

30. Love
• Based on analysis of classical texts,
sociologist Lee (1988) identified 3 primary
styles of love (colours of love):
– eros (erotic)
– ludus (playful, uncommitted) higher in males.
– storge (friendship) higher in females
– These can combine to give secondary types
– mania (possessive); pragma (pragmatic) and
agape (other-oriented, altruistic)

31. Liking and Love: Are they
different?
• Rubin (1973) – “liking” and “love” are not
the same!
• Liking – desire to interact with someone
• Love (or being “in love” – district
characteristics, e.g. trusting, being aroused
by etc

32. Different Types of Love
• Sternberg (1986). Triangular theory of love.
• Three components:
– intimacy (emotional, I have a comfortable
relationship with…)
– passion (motivational, Just seeing X is exciting)
– commitment (cognitive, I always feel a strong
responsibility towards X)

33. Triangle Theory (continued)
• Intimacy + passion + commitment =
consummate love.
• Intimacy + Passion = romantic
• Intimacy + Commitment = companionate
• Passion + commitment = fatuous
• Intimacy alone = liking; Passion alone =
infatuation; commitment alone = empty
• Non-love is absence of all three.

34. Technology and Relationships
• Think about Social Media – how often do
you check sites such as Facebook?
• Is this changing the way we “do”
relationships?
• Do you “reveal” more online than you do
face to face?
• Does it increase jealousy?

35. Reading
• Any introductory text book on social
psychology will give a chapter on attraction
• A good book on human relationships:
– Duck, S. (2007). Human Relationships,
London: Sage.

36. ANY QUESTIONS???