Human communication is uniquely human and evolved from early hominins' abilities to cooperate and share intentionality through gestures and joint attention. Key aspects of human communication include its symbolic and verbal nature, reliance on shared intentionality, and use of multi-modal signals like gestures, eye contact, touch and smell. While apes communicate, humans have a greater capacity for collaboration, understanding others' perspectives, and forming common goals. Language emerged from early gestural communication but now influences how humans experience the world. Differences in how men and women communicate can arise from biological tendencies to connect versus demonstrate status, but are also shaped by cultural norms and expectations.

1. Human Communication
What is communication?
What is unique about human
communication?
Where did it come from?
How did it evolve?
Significance of human
empathy, shared care,
intentionality, collaboration
and co-operation…
How does culture effect
communication?
To what extent do men and
women use language
differently?

2. What is communication?
• All social behavior is a form of
communication;
• But it can be inadvertent ..like age, sex, size,
ethnicity, apparent strength, weakness,
gender;
• Need to delimit communication in order to
study it..
• It must be goal-directed and purposeful
behavior.

3. What is communication?
• Any signal given out by one individual used
by another either to predict the behavior of
the first individual, or something else in the
environment (Thelma Rowell);
• Signals function to permit interaction between
fellow species members (con-specifics)
thereby making reproduction and survival
possible..

4. Five Aspects of Communication
• Signal
• Meaning
• Function
• Development
• Evolution

5. Human Communication
is 100% verbal/symbolic, productive (new words
and meanings can be invented);
is 100% non-verbal (involves multi-modal
sensory system;
touch (tactile)…movement (kinesiology)
use of space (proxemics)
olfaction (smell)
eye contact (visual)
auditory

6. The Cooperation Model
• Human beings
cooperate with each
other in a species-
specific way that
involves processes of
shared intentionality.
• Two things are required
for cooperation:
– Common ground or
joint attentional
frame
– Social motivations
for helping and
sharing with others

7. Infant Pointing: Fundamentally Human
• Infants use their shared common ground with a pointing adult (not their
own egocentric interests) to interpret both the adult’s referential intention
and his underlying motive and social intention.
• For most infants, pointing emerges at around the first birthday, before
language, so this indicates that the infrastructure of cooperative
communication operates initially not in support of language but in the use
of the pointing gesture.

8. Features of human communication and their roots:
• Tomasello:
– Human cooperative communication emerged first
in evolution when using spontaneous gestures.
– Human cooperative communication is dependent
on shared intentionality.
– Conventional (modern) communication is
possible only when participants already possess
• Natural gestures and a shared
intentionality structure
• Skills of cultural learning and imitation

9. Ape-Human Differences
• Apes do not have the skills nor the motivations to form joint
goals and joint attention with others.
• They do not collaborate in human-like ways.
• In studies, it was found that:
– Human infants understand joint activity
– Chimpanzees understand their own action from a first-
person perspective and that of the partner from a third-
person perspective.
– Human infants spent far more time than apes looking back
and forth from object to adult, and their looks to the face of
the adult were almost twice as long as those of the apes.
The infants look were sometimes accompanied by smiles;
apes do not smile.

10. Where Do Signals Come From?
• Intention movements (getting ready to
run, fight, hit, play, groom, have sex,
protect yourself etc;
• Physiological-by-products as in
autonomic reactions such as pupil
dilation, muscle dilation or constriction,
heavy breathing, increased heart rate,
blushing, fear, fight, ot flight

12. The message is in….
• Unlearned responses to novel,
unexpected stimuli
• Surprise/startle
• Pain
• Anger
• Grief
• Embarrassment
• Confusion/bewilderment

13. The message is..
determined by tone of voice..not always what humans say,
but how they say it (para-language)
the overall context within which the
signal or message is given
nature of the history of the social relationships of the
actors or participants;
determined by the totality of verbal and
non-verbal cues

14. The message is enhanced by
• Smell..can a 4 billion dollar perfume industry
be all wrong?
• Men and woman are affected by
pheromones--our behavior is regulated in a
hidden way I.e. menstrual synchrony, woman
attracted to male axillary odors;
• Infants head turn preferentially toward their
own mothers milk;

15. Message is enhanced by…
• Gestures (affirming, denying,
exaggerating, welcoming, distancing,
connecting, rejecting, nice, nasty);
• “emblems”..such as O.K, crazy, victory, good
luck, maybe, not-so-good;
• “illustrations” non-specific but somehow
choreographed hand and head and body
motions and movements..underlying words and
emotions……

16. The message is in the…
• EYES..as in detachment-attachment,
• interest-dis-interest,
• pleasure displeasure,
• dismissive-respectful
• TOUCH (Tactile stimulii)..all kinds of touch
including:
• intimate, personal, social, public
• who has the privilege of touch?

17. The message is in…
• The use and control of space?
– reflects social status, who gives authority and
status;
– wealthy people retain high status..they control
the “best space” and have more of it
– how close can a person be for what kinds of
interactions;
– how does use of space reflect local cultural
values and beliefs? Who gives space to others
and why?

19. Biology of Human Vocalizations
• The 90 degree angle created by
vertebral column and head articulation
i.e. with foramen magnum in center of
skull;
• By design we have separate oral,
pharyngeal and nasal cavities (spaces)
that can by manipulating by tongue and
lips be closed off from one another

20. Other adaptations for human
speech
• Short muscular tongue;
• Short jaw from front to back (brain case gets big
space as mouth becomes smaller and pulled under
cranium;
• Reduced prognathism (of human jaw jutting forward)
• Reduced anterior dentition..no big projecting, conical
–shaped canines jutting from tooth row;
• Parabolic arch (not v-shapes like monkeys, or parallel
and U-shaped like apes;
• Neural mechanisms and adaptations for speech
breathing (volitional control) ;

21. Language….
• Is it….“the only reality we will ever know..”are
we “prisoners” of language?
• If you cannot label it, do you experience it?
• Are pre-verbal infants unable to experience
states they cannot describe?
• Do you see a color you have no label for?
• Do animals have language? Or an
understanding or sense of language?

22. What does language do?
• Informs
• Requests
• Shares
• Permits collaboration
• Permits helping and cooperation through mind
reading and empathy;
• Emancipates hands for other tasks
• Expands beyond visual communicative domain
• Permits individual-based communication
• Permits shared imagination (including lying)

23. Language is…
A finite number of
meaningless
utterances,
recombined into an
almost infinite
number of meaningful
sentences and
phrases

24. “You Just Don’t Understand?”
By Deborah
Tannen
Women and Men
In Conversation
(Quill Press 2001)

25. Language: A biocultural perspective of evolved
male-female psycho-sexual proclivities..??
conversational styles, modes and tendencies
are seen to act as a vehicle for men to
achieve social well being and reproductive
success..however defined..
conversational modes which distinguish men
and women are viewed as reflecting each of
the sexes emotional needs and tendencies
which however biologically based are acted
on by early cultural values, examples and
experiences which either inhibit or
exaggerate those tendencies

26. Assymetries Lead To Mis-interpretations
Tannen’s basic premise:
Men engage in a world perceived as a hierarchial
social order in which a man is either one-up or
one down;
In this world conversations are negotiations in
which people try to achieve and maintain the
upper hand if they can--and not be pushed
around..life is a struggle to preserve
independence and avoid failure..
Power and accomplishment frame interactions

27. Women
• Tannen uses herself as an example. She
states..
• “I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as
many women do; as an individual in a network of
connections. In this world, conversations are
negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek
and give confirmation and support, and to reach
consensus. They try to protect themselves from
others attempts to push them away. Life, then, is a
community, a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid
isolation.”

28. Men and Women, boy and girl
• Men value and rely on rules, laws, hierarchy
(larger principles) to govern their behavior..
• Girls seek to attach--connect--become the
same as the other..they pay attention to
feelings and relationships (this “frames” their
interactions with others)
• Boys seek to separate, distinguish, chose to
dominate, display skill (one upsmanship)..
• Men talk to get respect, women talk to
connect. Men speak more in public, less so in
intimate settings;

29. Use of “assent” terms by women when
women or men speak..
refers to..vocal and gestural support
cues.. inviting a person to continue
speaking--shows interest by one
speaker in what another is saying:
– head bobbing -agreeing as a person
speaks..
– Use of uh-huh, uh-huh, (or) “I see”-- “yes, I
see, uh-huh….yes”

30. Differential judgment made of same behavior
• Boasting avoided by women, acceptable amongst
men less negative rating, more expectable…
• When women use tag sentences and disclaimers
(like “Well,I may not know as much about this as I
should but…”}
women are judged less intelligent and less
knowledgeable than are men using same
expressions (Patricia Bradley)

31. “Connection” and male need to demonstrate
skill and knowledge
• does not negate the males wanting to
“connect” implied by male problem
solving i.e. helping..
• They co-exist.
• “But men’s and women’s tendencies to
place different relative weights on status
versus connection (with others in
groups) results in assymetrical roles”

32. Non-conscious Signals and Cues
Reflected in Language Styles ?
• How do you fix or determine the sex of
a caller on the telephone?
• Pitch and volume of voice?
• How about verbal signals and cues tied
to gender AND sex roles:
– Use of tags, disclaimers, conditions or
qualifiers?
– My own situation…. little story

33. Easy examples of Conversational Roles of
Men and Women..”tags”
• Use of “tag sentences” is done mostly by
women…:It’s a nice day, isn’t it?
• I thought Steve Martin’ last few movies were too
serious, do you think?
• Dean’s campaign seems to be picking up
momentum, do you agree?
• This good is bad, huh?
• Researchers find that even without knowng anything
about, ..when “tags” are used, both men and women
identify the speaker as ..a women..

34. Men use silence…?
• to exercise power over women..by not
reacting, women feel insecure about not
proceeding…with their views
• But many men see their silence as
respect and support…and wonder why
women are so reticent to present their
views…

35. Women can be disadvantaged in
professional setting because:
• How people speak, regardless of sex or
gender..makes a difference in who gets credit
for an idea or thought..and what gets heard..
• Research shows that on average women are
more likely than men to phrase a thought as a
question, speak at lower volume but a higher
pitch, and take less time to express their view

36. Mis-interpretations
A man invites his best friend to stay over with
he and his wife that evening--without calling
to discuss with his wife..
His wife is upset that he did not consult--reach
consensus
He sees it as a no-brainer and is upset--that
she is upset and fails to see the importance
of what he had to do. He could not (in front of
his friend ) be seen as needing to “seek
permission” and be seen as dependent, child-
like--and not independent…

37. Background: Eve had a lump removed
from her breast..she explained to her
sister that she found it upsetting to have
been cut into..and that looking at the
stitches was distressing to her because
they left a seam that had changed the
contour of her breast..
Her sister said “I know. It’s like your
body has been violated…”

38. But when she told her husband, Mark, how she
felt, he said, “You can have plastic surgery to
cover up the scar and restore the shape of your
breast.”
Eve had been comforted by her sister..but not by
her husband. Mark;s comment upset her. She
said: “I ‘m not having any more surgery..I’m
sorry you don’t like the way it looks.” Mark was
hurt and puzzled. “I don’t care”, he protested.
“Then why are you telling me to get surgery”?
she said. He says: “Because you were telling me
you were upset about the way it looked.”

39. Mis-interpretations
Tannen says: “Eve wanted the gift of
understanding, but Mark gave her
what he thought she would appreciate
the most--a solution to make her feel
better..the gift of advise”.

40. Different content?
• Men speak less about “troubles” and
relationships;
• Interested more in solving trouble and not
recognizing that they exist--as it is a sign of
incompetence among men..not to be able to
solve troubles…or even to have
them..Perhaps this explains why so many
men fail to get medical aid and die
prematurely as a consequence..

41. Men mis-interpreted?
• Men will speak less about women’s problems
not because they do not care about them, but
because women will fail to do anything about
them..and men interpret continued attention
to them asmaking it worse;
• Men fail to see “troubles” as a leveling-
connecting issue, in need of mutual support,
leading to statements of “sameness” but as a
issues which separate and remind the man--
he is incompetent at solving a “problem”..

42. Socialization: boys and girls
• “lie down”
• “gimme your arm”
• “try to give me
medicine”, “stay away”
• “Come, on be a doctor”
• Commands, statements
declaratives..high status
role (Dr.)79% of time
• (Boys)
• *Jacqueline Sachs and
Marjorie Goodwin
• “Let’s sit down and use
it”
• Let’s ask her..
• We could..
• Let’s move these out
first”
• Girls invite each
other..boys command
each other..ask what
role..share role more
• (Girls)

43. Early sex differences from parental
examples?
• Boys make
commands without
giving reasons;
– “Pliers. I want the
pliers. Look man, I
want the pliers right
now” (black children
between 6-13 streets
of Phliadelphia
making slingshots)
• Girls reflect more
egalitarianism--
inclusiveness,
community, concern for
the other’s feelings;
• “we got to clean them
first. You know.
• “I know”
• Cause they got germs”
• From: MGoodwin

44. Do Men “Challenge” and Women “Seek
Agreement?”
• Women students react
to Tannen’s book..
– All ten women were
exploring, asking for
clarification,explanation
or personal
information..”Can you
explain further..” “Can
you give another
example..Are differences
biological or social..”
• Men students.. ”Your
book deals a lot with
pyschology. Why did
you object to the way
the psychologist
interrogated you at the
seminar” Tannen heard
men’s questions as a
chance to undercut her
authority…Male
professor set her
up?”Here is your
chance to get at a real
expert”….Predictable?

45. Tannen’s work…
• implies that how we phrase things and how
we choose one manner of stating something
over another--moves beyond the message
per se.
• implies that language reflects societal
expectations and idealized roles and statuses
(good or bad) that men and women either
play--or at some level, it is thought they
should play…

46. Language is about
• Metamessages;
• “….information about the relations among the
people involved, and their attitudes toward what
they are saying or doing, and the people they
are saying or doing it to…” Tannen pg.32
• In other words the message of helping says
“this is good for you”…but giving help may send
metamessage “I am more competent than
you”…and in that sense it is good for the
helper.

47. Metamessages…
are about “framing” a conversation..much like
a picture frame surrounds and gives context
to the picture inside…
metamessages let you know how to
interpret what someone is saying by
identifying the activity that is going on…
(is this an argument, advising, or scolding)
lets you know what position the speaker is
assuming and what role you are being
assigned by the speaker..

48. Males-female differences? or
simply personality differences?
• A man and women are driving along
and the women says:
• “Would you like to stop and get a
cappuccino?…the man replies…
• “No, I am still full from breakfast”.
• A few minutes later the women is
silently fuming and hurt? Why?

49. “They’re my troubles not yours”
He She
• “I’m really tired. I did not
sleep well last night”
• “Why are you trying to
belittle me?”
• He was interpreting her
attempts to “connect” as
a challenge to his own
independence or
uniqueness..She was
trying to sympathize..
• “I didn’t sleep well,
either”
• “I’m not. I am just
trying to show that I
understand.”
• The women was
hurt and mystified
by her husband’s
reaction..

50. Differences?
• When men lecture
other men--the
listeners are
experienced at
trying to “sidetrack
the lecture, match it,
or derail it”--to
exchange
information;
• But women are not
used to responding
in this manner.They
have little choice but
to listen..Men like to
lecture to women
precisely BECAUSE
women are used to
listening attentively

51. Tannen’s experiences
• When she talked with a women about her
book each told about their work and each
gave the other encouragement..
• When she spoke with men, she encouraged
them to talk about their research, which they
did so with enthusiasm, but not one
encouraged her, in turn, to speak more about
her research…

52. Sex roles and language
• Men do not ask for information, women
do..Why? Relates to men’s constant
negotiation for status..
• Self-reliance is a male value.. And the
expectation that men who ask are less in
control, less skilled, knowledgeable--(of lower
status) as regard being a male and being in
the company of a woman--who a man sees
as being dependent on his knowledge..

53. Vocal Communication vs
Gestural Communication
• In vocal communication, there is
basically no monitoring.
• Gestural communication takes place
in the visual channel, spatially
directed toward a single individual,
which requires the communicator to
check that the recipient is visually
attending.

54. Multiple Functions of Human
Communication: Shared Intentionality and
Cooperation
To affirm social role, status, position, authority,
identity and for humans affirming a way of life through
ritual public and private ceremony, public institutions,
by clothing..etc etc;
creates group identity, cohesion, solidarity;
allows for interactional predictability, organization,
successful reproduction…
in-group, out-group demarcations..Most importantly:
To inform, to share, to request, to collaborate, to help!