Life review

• Go the Distance by_ Michael Bolton
_Lyrics_.wmv

It's an uphill slope, but I won't
lose hope.

I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my
while.
It might take a lifetime, but
somehow I'll see it through.

and I'll stay on track…
till I go the distance,
and my journey is
complete.

Where the crowds will cheer,
when they see my face.
and a voice keeps saying,
this is where I'm meant to
be.

I will face it's harms…
Till I find my hero's welcome,
waiting in your arms.

What is it?
• Life Review is a universal
mental process of
reflecting on the events
that shaped one’s life set
in motion by the
realization that the end
of life is near.
(Donna Miller)

What is it?
• A person may revisit pivotal life moments
and points of conflict that may require
some work in making amends with people
and smooth out the torn edges of broken
relationships before one finds the peace to
pass on. The reflections are very real,
sensory rich. It’s like one is truly reliving
that moment of the past in the present.

Objectives:
• To foster deeper knowledge and
acceptance of postulants‘ history through
understanding Erik Erikson’s stages of
psychosocial development.

• To recognize aspects
of their life that need
healing and
reconciliation; and
significant
development issues
that affect
relationship with
oneself, others and
God.

• To notice and appreciate God’s actions
in their history and in your daily life.

• What is the most
significant discovery of
yourself during the Self-
Esteem Module?

• What aspect of yourself was
revealed during the Theater Arts
Module?

• What self-
discovery did you
carry in your
heart after the
Creative Journal
Writing Module?

• ♫ Mulan - 'Reflection' Lyrics ♫.wmv

Resistances…
by making
SPACE and TIME
to be with
them…as part
of ourselves to
be welcomed
and embraced.

Anger: needs not met
Fear: needs might
not met

Sadness:
needs no
longer met
Shame:
I shouldn’t
have needs

Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development
Infancy (birth – 18 months) Trust vs. Mistrust
Early Childhood (2 to 3 years) Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Preschool (3 to 5 years) Initiative vs. Guilt
School Age (6 to 11 years) Industry vs. Inferiority
Adolescence (12 to 18 years) Identity vs. Identity Confusion
Young Adulthood (19 to 40
years)
Intimacy vs. Isolation
Middle Adulthood (40 to 65
years)
Generativity vs. Stagnation
Maturity(65 to death) Ego Integrity vs. Despair

Erik Erikson
Father of the
Psycho-social
Theory

Erik’s Biography
• Erik Abrahamson was born near
Frankfurt, Germany in 1902
• His father left his mother, Karla
Abrahamson, before Erik was born
• She married Dr. Theodor
Homberger in 1905.

• Erik’s own life experiences may
have contributed to his need to
establish his own identity.
• Jewish
• Erik did not know until years later
that Dr. Homberger was not his
biological father.

• Erik’s passion was art, and he
travelled around Europe as an artist
• He trained as a Montessori teacher
• While living in Vienna,
Austria, he married
a Canadian dance
teacher, Joan Serson

• With the rise of Nazism, Erik and
his wife left Vienna and moved
first to Copenhagen, Denmark,
and then on to the United States.
• When Erik became an American
citizen, he changed his name
from Erik Abrahamson
Homberger to Erik Erikson.

• Erikson taught at Harvard
Medical School, Yale
University, and University of
California at Berkley, and had a
practice as a child
psychoanalyst.

• Particular emphasis is placed on
the adolescent period because it
is then the transition between
childhood and adulthood is
made.
• What happens during this stage
is of great significance for adult
personality.

• Each stage is not passed
through and then left behind.
Instead each stage contributes
to the formation
of the total
personality.

• Identity versus identity confusion is
the defining crisis during adolescence,
but identity formation begins during
the first four stages and the sense of
identity negotiated
during adolescence
influences and
evolves further
during the final three stages.

• If a stage is managed well, we carry
away a certain virtue or
psychosocial strength which will
help us through the rest of the
stages of our lives. On the other
hand, if we don't do so well, we
may develop maladaptations and
malignancies, as well as endanger
all our future development.

• A malignancy is the worse of the two,
and involves too little of the positive
and too much of the negative aspect
of the task, such as a person who
can't trust others.
• A maladaptation is not quite as bad
and involves too much of the positive
and too little of the negative, such as
a person who trusts too much.

Stage 1 : Basic Trust versus
Basic Mistrust
(Birth to about 1 year)
AFFECTION-
Basic Psychological Need

• Land Before Time - Baby Littlefoot.wmv

• The infant will develop a
healthy balance between
trust and mistrust if fed and
cared for and not over-
indulged or
over-protected.

• If the parents are unreliable and
inadequate, if they reject the
infant or harm it, if other interests
cause both parents to turn away
from the infants needs to satisfy
their own instead, then the infant
will develop mistrust. He or she
will be apprehensive and
suspicious around people.

• Abuse or neglect or cruelty
will destroy trust and foster
mistrust. Mistrust increases
a person's resistance to risk-
exposure and exploration.

• Please understand that this doesn't
mean that the parents have to be
perfect. In fact, parents who are overly
protective of the child, are there the
minute the first cry comes out, will lead
that child into the maladaptive
tendency Erikson calls sensory
maladjustment: Overly trusting, even
gullible, this person cannot believe
anyone would mean them harm.

• If the proper balance is
achieved, the child will
develop the virtue hope, the
strong belief that, even when
things are not going well, they
will work out well in the end.

• One of the signs that a child is doing
well in the first stage is when the child
isn't overly upset by the need to wait
a moment for the satisfaction of his or
her needs: Mom or dad don't have to
be perfect; I trust them enough to
believe that, if they can't be here
immediately, they will be here soon.

• Things may be tough now, but
they will work out. This is the
same ability that, in later life,
gets us through
disappointments in love, our
careers, and many other
domains of life.

Virtue:
• Hope & Drive (faith, inner calm,
grounding, basic feeling that
everything will be okay - enabling
exposure to risk, a trust in life and
self and others, inner resolve and
strength in the face of uncertainty
and risk).

TRUST BEGINS IN THE WOMB
We believe the child is
sensitive to the love of both its
parents long before birth, and that the
first stage of trust vs. mistrust begins
at conception. Many psychotherapists
agree that the child in the womb is
sensitive to love and can be hurt by
lack of love.

WHAT DO BABIES REMEMBER?
Because the life of the
child in the womb is so
intimately connected with the
life of its mother, the child’s
memories are connected with
its mother’s experiences and
reactions.

• This relationship can be understood
physiologically because every
emotion we feel produces hormonal
and chemical changes in our
bloodstream. When a pregnant
woman feels fear, anger, joy, peace,
etc., the changes in her blood
chemistry are shared across the
placenta with her child.

•Fortunately, babies can
absorb and remember
love and enjoyment as
well as stress and
trauma.

•The love of parents is the
most important thing that
children experience in the
womb, and it can
overcome the negative
effects of many stresses
and traumas.

Trust and our Image of God
•Basic trust affects us
spiritually as well as
physically, emotionally and
socially.

• The way in which we see God is
shaped by the ways our parents
treated us, and the way in
which we see God also
determines who we will let God
be for us and how much we can
let God give us.

Lacking in
Trust
doubt
mistrust
suspicious
lack of
confidence
despair
TRUST
in others
in self
in life
in God
Too Much Trust
naïve, gullible
overconfident
superstitious
hero worship

Terrible 2’s
STAGE 2:
AUTONOMY VS.
SHAME & DOUBT
ASSERTION-
Basic Psychological
Need

2nd Stage: Autonomy Vs. Shame &
Doubt
• The second stage is of early childhood,
from about eighteen months to two to
three years old. The task is to achieve a
degree of autonomy while minimizing
shame and
doubt.

Significant
Relationship:
Parents

• If mom and dad (and the other care-
takers that often come into the picture
at this point) permit the child, now a
toddler, to explore and manipulate his
or her environment, the child will
develop a sense of autonomy or
independence. The parents should not
discourage the child, but neither should
they push.

• A balance is required. People often
advise new parents to be "firm but
tolerant" at this stage, and the advice
is good. This way, the child will
develop both self-control and self-
esteem.
2 Year Old Boy And His Dad from Brazil Perform The Beatles' 'Don't Let Me Down'.wmv
2 year old dancing the jive.wmv

• On the other hand, it is rather easy for the
child to develop instead a sense of shame
and doubt. If the parents come down hard
on any attempt to explore and be
independent, the child will soon give up with
the assumption that cannot and should not
act on their own. We should keep in mind
that even something as innocent as laughing
at the toddler's efforts can lead the child to
feel deeply ashamed, and to doubt his or her
abilities.

• Nevertheless, a little "shame and
doubt" is not only inevitable, but
beneficial. Without it, you will develop
the maladaptive tendency Erikson calls
impulsiveness, a sort of shameless
willfulness that leads you, in later
childhood and even adulthood, to
jump into things without proper
consideration of your abilities.

• Too much shame and doubt, which leads
to the malignancy Erikson calls
compulsiveness. The compulsive person
feels as if their entire being rides on
everything they do, and so everything
must be done perfectly. Following all the
rules precisely keeps you from mistakes,
and mistakes must be avoided at all costs.
Many of you know how it feels to always
be ashamed and always doubt yourself.

• Autonomy means self-reliance.
This is independence of thought,
and a basic confidence to think
and act for oneself. Shame and
Doubt mean what they say, and
obviously inhibit self-expression
and developing one's own ideas,
opinions and sense of self.

• If we get the proper, positive
balance of autonomy and
shame and doubt, we will
develop the virtue of
willpower or determination.

• Willpower & Self-Control
(self-determination, self-belief, self-
reliance, confidence in self to decide
things, having a voice, being one's
own person, persistence, self-
discipline, independence of thought,
responsibility, judgement)

HOW DO YOU CREATE HEALTHY AUTONOMY?
Affirmation is what a child needs for
development in the stage of autonomy. It
needs to be affirmed in the ways that will bring
forth its will healthily. That means whenever
it’s making the right choices, to really approve
those choices. Psychologists find that even
from nine to eighteen months, the child learns
the basis of autonomy if it is given the
initiative in games at least 30-40% of the time.

• But it also takes not just affirmation of the
right choices, it takes the whole inner part of
the word: firm. It takes firmness when there’s
the wrong choice. When the child is turning
on all the gas burners and then putting his
hand in them just to see what happens, it
takes the firmness to say “No,” even though
that child is going to go back and try it again
and try it again. He has to test his will against
yours. It takes that firmness so that the child
learns that there are some things that he just
can’t choose.

• Failure to achieve the right balance
between love and firmness is easily
passed on from one generation to the
next. Parents who themselves have a
healthy ability to say “yes” and “no” are
likely to naturally find the right balance
between over permissiveness and harsh
firmness, and thus create healthy
autonomy in their children.

Autonomy and Our Image of God
• Those struggling with Autonomy not
only struggle to relate to people but
also to God.
• We can overuse our will and become
a dictator to God or underuse our
will and be with no desire.

I am ashamed of my
negative feelings so I hide
these from God and myself.

Autonomy in the context of Relating:
Balanced
Autonomy
(Interdependent)
Capable of deciding
and acting out of
free choice.
Acting out of values
Committed to
beliefs
Self Confident
Mature, Reliable
Respectful of,
Sensitive to,
others
Lacking in Autonomy
(Dependent)
Dependent
Passive
Not using talents
Not contributing to,
not helping others
Could be passive
aggressive
Excessive
Autonomy
(Independent)
Stubborn,
confrontational,
Oppositional
Narcissistic
Insensitive

3. PLAY AGE
( 3-5-6 years old )
INITIATIVE VS.
GUILT
AFFIRMATION-
Basic
Psychological
Need

Stage Three
• Stage three is from three or four
to five or six, the task confronting
every child is to
learn
initiative without
too much guilt.

Significant Relationship:
family

• Initiative means a positive
response to the world's challenges,
taking on responsibilities, learning
new skills, feeling purposeful.
Parents can encourage initiative by
encouraging children to try out
their ideas. We should accept and
encourage fantasy and curiosity
and imagination.

• This is a time for play, not for
formal education. The child is
now capable, as never before, of
imagining a future situation, one
that isn't a reality right now.
Initiative is the attempt to make
that non-reality a reality.
..A Girl's Hope (English) by MCYS.wmv

• But if children can imagine the
future, if they can plan, then
they can be responsible as
well, and guilty. He/She can be
guilty of the act, and he/she
can begin to feel guilty as well.
The capacity for moral
judgement has arrived.

• Too much initiative and too little guilt
means a maladaptive tendency Erikson
calls ruthlessness. The ruthless person
takes the initiative alright. They have
their plans, whether it's a matter of
school or romance or politics or career.
It's just that they don't care who they
step on to achieve their goals. The goals
are everything, and guilty feelings are
for the weak.

• Harder on the person is the
malignancy of too much guilt,
which Erikson calls inhibition. The
inhibited person will not try things
because "nothing ventured,
nothing lost" and, particularly,
nothing to feel guilty about.

• A good balance leads to the psychosocial
strength of purpose. A sense of purpose
is something many people crave in their
lives, yet many do not realize that they
themselves make their purposes, through
imagination and initiative. I think an even
better word for this virtue would have
been courage, the capacity for action
despite a clear understanding of your
limitations and past failings.

• Purpose & Direction
(sense of purpose, decision-
making, working with and leading
others, initiating projects and
ideas, courage to instigate, ability
to define personal direction and
aims and goals, able to take
initiative and appropriate risks)

DEVELOPING GUILT
Children are so sensitive to
guilt at this stage that not only will
they probably feel guilty about
breaking a cup, but they also may
feel totally responsible and guilty for
things they had little or nothing to
do with, such as their parents’
separation or event the death of a
friend.

• Thus crippling or unhealthy
guilt would result anytime,
children perceive criticism or
punishment to mean that they
themselves are bad. Crippling
or unhealthy guilt results when
a child not only hates the sin
but also hates the sinner.

•When children’s unhealthy
guilt and self-hatred are
projected outward at
others, the target will
usually be the parent or
whoever else punished
them.

• Thus when children grow older
and more able, they will
frequently punish their parents
by acting in ways that displease
the parents—and often even
end up punishing others,
especially their own children.

• Unfortunately punishment affects not
only how children will continue to
relate to their parents, but also to
God. At this stage, because of their
sheer size and power, parents are like
God. As Erikson says, through the
voice of the parent, the child “now
hears, as it were, God’s voice without
seeing God.”

Initiative
Excessive
Initiative
Driven,
Impatient
Scattered.
I’ll do it all
---------------------
A lot of energy
& movement
but nothing
accomplished.
Well-
Developed
Initiative
Spontaneous
Creative,
Adaptive
I’ll try
--------
Energy &
creativity in
ministry
Too Little
Initiative
Talents not
developed
Routine only
Let someone
else do it
------
Mechanical
fulfillment of
apostolate

• How did you find the activity?
–Which part are difficult for you to
answer?
–Which part are easier? Why?
• What have you discovered about
your childhood history?
• What significant feelings were
evoked in you?

Naming My Mother:
• My Mother’s History:
> In what kind of family did she grow
up?
> What were her parents like?
> What were the challenges she
faced as a young girl?
Describe the kind of marriage she has
with your father.

• Images of mother I carry inside
me :
> When I was a child, what are
some images I have of her?
> I like my mother in the
following ways?
> I am different from my mother
in the following ways?

•How has my mother
influenced my views of
> sexuality?
> my spirituality?
> my career?

•Draw a symbol of
you and your
mother.

Naming My Father:
• My Father ’s History:
> In what kind of family did he grow
up?
> What were his parents like?
> What were the challenges he
faced as a young boy?
Describe the kind of marriage he has
with your mother.

• Images of father I carry inside me :
> When I was a child, what are
some images I have of him?
> I like my father in the following
ways?
> I am different from my father in
the following ways?

•How has my father
influenced my views of
> sexuality?
> my spirituality?
> my career?

•Draw a symbol of
you and your
father.

•What are the tasks that
are the expected to be
developed in the following
stages:
– School Age
–Adolescence Period
–Young Adulthood

• What are the challenges or
difficulties that a person usually
encounters in the following
stages:
– School Age
–Adolescence Period
–Young Adulthood

• What have you discovered
about your mother/father in
this activity? How do you
describe your relationship with
her/him?
• How do you feel about this
discovery? Why?

Welcome to this day
With a crisp of NEWNESS…

Write down…
Words…thoughts that have
impact on you…

Write down…
Feelings that were
evoked
in you…

Silence of love (Official English Subtitle) TVC Thai
Life Insurance.wmv

Stage 4:School Age
(6 – 11-12)
APPRECIATION
Industry
vs.Inferiority

Significant Relations:
Neighborhood and School

Stage Four
• Stage four is the school-age child from
about six to twelve. The task is to
develop a capacity for industry while
avoiding an excessive sense of
inferiority. Children must "tame the
imagination" and dedicate themselves
to education and to learning the social
skills their society requires of them.

• There is a much broader social
sphere at work now: The
parents and other family
members are joined by
teachers and peers and other
members of the community at
large.

• They all contribute: Parents must
encourage, teachers must care,
peers must accept. Children must
learn that there is pleasure not
only in conceiving a plan, but in
carrying it out. They must learn
the feeling of success, whether it
is in school or on the playground,
academic or social.

• Nestle Philippines Short Film Anthology with
English Subtitles_ _The Howl and the
Fussyket_.wmv

• If the child is allowed too little
success, because of harsh teachers or
rejecting peers, for example, then he
or she will develop instead a sense of
inferiority or incompetence. An
additional source of inferiority Erikson
mentions is racism, sexism, and other
forms of discrimination.

•If a child believes that
success is related to who
you are rather than to
how hard you try, then
why try?

WERE YOU GIFTED BUT IGNORED?
Unfortunately our schools make
it easier to feel inferior than to feel
competent. We generally praise
only those few at the top and tell
the others, “Too bad you lost out.
Maybe next year you’ll be on top.”

•Social scientists Roger &
David Johnson have
demonstrated that
competition is not the best
motivation for learning.

• Even if we were competent in our
own way, we may not have been
rewarded. Those competent in art,
music and dancing generally do not
receive the praise given to those
competent in reading, writing and
math—the skills stressed in school.

• Too much industry leads to the
maladaptive tendency called narrow
virtuosity. We see this in children who
aren't allowed to "be children," the
ones that parents or teachers push into
one area of competence, without
allowing the development of broader
interests.

• These are the kids without a life:
child actors, child athletes, child
musicians, child prodigies of all
sorts. We all admire their industry,
but if we look a little closer, it's all
that stands in the way of an empty
life.

• Much more common is the malignancy
called inertia. Many of us didn't do well in
mathematics, for example, so we'd die
before we took another math class.
Others were humiliated instead in the
gym class. Others never developed social
skills -- the most important skills of all --
and so we never go out in public. We
become inert.

• A happier thing is to develop
the right balance of industry
and inferiority -- that is, mostly
industry with just a touch of
inferiority to keep us sensibly
humble. Then we have the
virtue called competency.

• Competence & Method (making
things, producing results, applying
skills and processes productively,
feeling valued and capable of
contributing, ability to apply method
and process in pursuit of ideas or
objectives, confidence to seek and
respond to challenge and learning,
active busy productive outlook)

INDUSTRY AND OUR IMAGE OF GOD
• We can also relate to God with the
perfectionistic type. We can mistakenly
feel God is reacting like a teacher or
parent, loving us more if we do well
and less if we fail. We go to Mass or do
good works to earn God’s love rather
than as grateful responses to God
loving us so much.

• But God’s love doesn’t turn on and
off like a water faucet. God is a
Father whose sun rises on the just
and unjust (Mt. 5:45) and a Mother
who loves us whether we are
competent or incompetent, whether
we have worked a full day or an
hour (Mt. 20:1-17).

• God’s love doesn’t fluctuate, but
rather we fluctuate in our capacity
to receive God’s love. Sunday Mass
and good works are not to convince
God to love us. Rather, they open us
to receive God’s ever present,
infinite love and enable us to share
it.

Industrious
Perseverance
Reliability,
Fidelity
----------
-
Faithful
to
commitments
Not Enough
Not able to
complete
what has
begun
----------
Disregard for
commitments
to others
Too much
Perfectionistic
Scrupulous
Workaholic
-------
Achievement
more important
than persons

• Am I growing in trust (stage 1),
hunger to find my deepest desires
and God’s will (Stage 2), zeal to
take new initiatives even after
failure (Stage 3)? Do I enjoy what I
am doing (Stage 4), or am I just
eager to get it done?
JOURNAL WRITING:

Who am I ----
to whom shall I
identify?
ACCEPTANCE:
Basic Psychological Need

Stage Five
• Stage five is adolescence, beginning
with puberty and ending around 18 or
20 years old. The task during
adolescence is to achieve ego identity
and avoid role confusion. It was
adolescence that interested Erikson
first and most, and the patterns he saw
here were the bases for his thinking
about all the other stages.

Significant Relationship:
peer groups, role
models

• Ego identity means knowing
who you are and how you fit in to
the rest of society. It requires that
you take all you've learned about
life and yourself and mold it into
a unified self-image, one that
your community finds
meaningful.

• KOREA GOT TALENT - AMAZING STORY.... really
sad.. [SaveYouTube.com].wmv

• Society should provide clear rites of
passage, certain accomplishments
and rituals that help to distinguish the
adult from the child. In primitive and
traditional societies, an adolescent
boy may be asked to leave the village
for a period of time to live on his
own, hunt some symbolic animal, or
seek an inspirational vision.

• Boys and girls may be required to go
through certain tests of endurance,
symbolic ceremonies, or educational
events. In one way or another, the
distinction between the powerless,
but irresponsible, time of childhood
and the powerful and responsible
time of adulthood, is made clear.

• Without these things, we are likely to see
role confusion, meaning an uncertainty
about one's place in society and the
world. When an adolescent is confronted
by role confusion, Erikson say he or she is
suffering from an identity crisis. In fact, a
common question adolescents in our
society ask is a straight-forward question
of identity: "Who am I?"

• One of Erikson's suggestions for adolescence
in our society is the psychosocial
moratorium. He suggests you take a little
"time out.” Quit school and get a job. Quit
your job and go to school. Take a break,
smell the roses, get to know yourself. We
tend to want to get to "success" as fast as
possible, and yet few of us have ever taken
the time to figure out what success means to
us.

• There is such a thing as too much
"ego identity," where a person is so
involved in a particular role in a
particular society or subculture that
there is no room left for tolerance.
Erikson calls this maladaptive
tendency fanaticism. A fanatic
believes that his way is the only way.

• Adolescents are, of course, known
for their idealism, and for their
tendency to see things in black-and-
white. These people will gather
others around them and promote
their beliefs and life-styles without
regard to others' rights to disagree.

• The lack of identity is perhaps
more difficult still, and Erikson
refers to the malignant tendency
here as repudiation. They
repudiate their membership in the
world of adults and, even more,
they repudiate their need for an
identity.

• Some adolescents allow themselves
to "fuse" with a group, especially the
kind of group that is particularly
eager to provide the details of your
identity: religious cults, militaristic
organizations, groups founded on
hatred, groups that have divorced
themselves from the painful
demands of mainstream society.

• They may become involved in
destructive activities, drugs, or
alcohol, or you may withdraw into
their own psychotic fantasies.
After all, being "bad" or being
"nobody" is better than not
knowing who you are!

• Fidelity & Devotion (self-confidence and
self-esteem necessary to freely
associate with people and ideas based
on merit, loyalty, social and
interpersonal integrity, discretion,
personal standards and dignity, pride
and personal identity, seeing useful
personal role(s) and purpose(s) in life).

• If you successfully negotiate this
stage, you will have the virtue
Erikson called fidelity. Fidelity
means loyalty, the ability to live by
societies standards despite their
imperfections and incompleteness
and inconsistencies..

• We are not talking about blind loyalty,
and we are not talking about accepting
the imperfections. After all, if you love
your community, you will want to see
it become the best it can be. But
fidelity means that you have found a
place in that community, a place that
will allow you to contribute.

ADOLESCENCE AND IMAGE OF GOD
• Frequently, as they rebel against their
parents, they will rebel against their
parents’ God. This may create a faith crisis.
Although other circumstances, such as a
sudden tragedy, can trigger a faith crisis
even in a healthy family, such a crisis
happens less often if the parents have a
healthy image of God and a healthy
relationship with the adolescent.

• When either of these is lacking, the
adolescent frequently feels distant
from God in the ways she feels distant
from her parents. Thus, an adolescent
may rebel against a God who, like her
parents, always criticizes and never
hugs, loves more when she succeeds,
or, like her absent father, can’t be
counted on.

•Religious educators have
discovered that close
bonding with parents is a
more important foundation
for faith than religious
education.

• Unless these conflicts are worked out
in adolescence, Erikson cautions that
even adults can continue to make
decisions solely on the basis of what
an authority says (autocracy of
conscience) or solely in reaction to
that authority’s “old-fashioned
values.”

Key Stage of
Identity
Awareness of inner self
Sense of continuity “I am
the same person I was 20
years ago”
Memories
A Stable Role in Life:
work, relationships,
family, gender, race
Identification with certain
values, ideas,
culture, country, city
My assets & liabilities
What I have done in life
My Relation to God
Too Little
Identity
Identity
Confusion not
sure of role,
changing,superficial
Negative
Identity: I am
bad…
Multiple
Personality
Disorder
Borderline
Personality Dis.
Too much Self -
Not enough Others
A very early lack of
development in life
The whole world, as
it were, is centered
on and for him/her
self – not able to be
aware of others as
“selves”
The narcissist
focuses on how
special his/her
particular talents,
feelings, & personal
qualities.
Is insensitive to
others’ needs.

• When do I feel closer to my
parents? To God? When do I
feel more distant from my
parents? From God?
JOURNAL WRITING

Stage 6: Young Adult
Intimacy vs. Isolation
AFFILATION- Basic
Psychological
Need

Significant Relations
partners, friends

Stage Six
• If you have made it this far, you are in
the stage of young adulthood, which
lasts from about 18 to about 30-40.
The ages in the adult stages are much
fuzzier than in the childhood stages,
and people may differ dramatically.
The task is to achieve some degree of
intimacy, as opposed to remaining in
isolation.

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• Intimacy is the ability to be close to
others, as a lover, a friend, and as a
participant in society. Because you have a
clear sense of who you are, you no longer
need to fear "losing" yourself, as many
adolescents do. The "fear of
commitment" some people seem to
exhibit is an example of immaturity in this
stage. This fear isn't always so obvious.

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Anthology with English Subtitles_ _Sign-
Seeker_.wmv

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lyrics).wmv

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Teachers - Inspirational Video.wmv

• Many people today are always putting
off the progress of their relationships:
I'll get married (or have a family, or get
involved in important social issues) as
soon as I finish school, as soon as I
have a job, as soon as I have a house,
as soon as.... If you've been engaged
for the last ten years, what's holding
you back?

• Our society hasn't done much for
young adults, either. The emphasis on
careers, the isolation of urban living,
the splitting apart of relationships
because of our need for mobility, and
the general impersonal nature of
modern life prevent people from
naturally developing their intimate
relationships.

• Erikson calls the maladaptive form
promiscuity, referring particularly to
the tendency to become intimate too
freely, too easily, and without any
depth to your intimacy. This can be
true of your relationships with friends
and neighbors and your whole
community as well as with lovers.

• The malignancy he calls
exclusion, which refers to the
tendency to isolate oneself from
love, friendship, and community,
and to develop a certain
hatefulness in compensation for
one's loneliness.

• If you successfully negotiate this stage, you
will instead carry with you for the rest of
your life the virtue or psychosocial strength
Erikson calls love. Love, in the context of his
theory, means being able to put aside
differences and antagonisms through
"mutuality of devotion." It includes not only
the love we find in a good marriage, but the
love between friends and the love of one's
neighbor, co-worker, and compatriot as
well.

• Love & Affiliation (capacity to give and
receive love - emotionally and physically,
connectivity with others, socially and
inter-personally comfortable, ability to
form honest reciprocating relationships
and friendships, capacity to bond and
commit with others for mutual
satisfaction - for work and personal life,
reciprocity - give and take - towards
good).

6. Young Adulthood (Intimacy vs. Isolation)
The Four Moments of Affirmation
1. See goodness in ourselves because someone has
affirmed us.
2. In affirming another is that we notice the unique
goodness and loveableness of that person and are
quietly present to it.

3. To be moved inwardly by the other’s goodness and
to be delighted by it, without wanting to grab or
possess or change the other to gratify our own
needs.
4. Let our delight in another’s goodness show,
especially non-verbal way.

• How did you find the activity?
–Which questions are difficult for
you to answer? Why?
–Which are easier? Why?
• What are your new discoveries
about yourself?
• What significant feelings were
evoked in you?

• Based from our activities, have
you recognized areas in your life
that need healing and
reconciliation?
• How do you feel about this?
• Where do you feel God is leading
you in this?

Jeremy Camp-Healing Hand of God.wmv

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