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Dragons
  in our Dreams
  and Daring Deeds

          James Hale, PG,CEO
          Path Choices
Word Association

Work


Happy


Anger
Anger …
     Teacher

     Friend

     Joy

     “The world needs anger. The world
     often continues to allow evil because
     it isn’t angry enough.”   --Bede Jarrett
Anger is a FEELING

            NOT a behavior

     “All feelings are okay. All behaviors
     are not.”    --Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
Anger Cycle

             Fear

Threat                 Anger


            Response
Fear                            Anger
Increased adrenaline       Increased adrenaline
Increased blood pressure   Increased blood pressure
                           Increased blood flow to
Increased blood flow to
                           skeletal muscles, brain,
skeletal muscles, brain,
                           and heart
and heart
                           Decreased blood flow to
Decreased blood flow       face and skin
to face and skin
Anger Cycle

             Fear

Threat                 Anger


            Response
Anger Cycle




    Choice
Anger Cycle




    Choice
Anger Responses …
   Repression
   Suppression
   Projection
   Diffusion
   Misplaced
Anger Cycle

             Fear

Threat                 Anger


            Response   THINK
THINK …
      3 steps

   1. Recognize
   2. Analyze
   3. Verbalize
1. Recognize Your Anger Sooner
                    100
Murderous Rage
         Anger      80




                    20

                    10
  Mild irritation    0
2. Analyze   4 questions:


  1. What is the target?
  2. What was the trigger (fear)?
  3. How full is my bucket?
  4. What do I want?
Anger Triggers
         Attacks on…
Self     Anything that is a part of you physically,
         intellectually, or emotionally

         Intelligence          Projects
 Teams
              Family               Values
3. Verbalize
          No put downs or discounts
I feel _________________ (feeling)
When you _______________________ (behavior trigger)
Because ____________________ (what I want)
Anger Policy
• Set anger ground rules:
  •No put downs
  •Person who is angry will not sit on their anger
  •You must have a backup plan
  •Tell others how full your bucket is
  •You must listen


• Angry Employee of the Quarter
Additional reading …

“Dealing with Difficult People” Ben Bissell
“Letters I Never Wrote, Conversations I Never
Had” Charles B. Bissell
“The Angry Book” Theodore Isaac Rubin
“Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion” Carol Tavris
“Caring Enough to Confront” David Augsburger
“The Dance of Anger” Harriet Goldhor Lerner

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James.hale

  • 1. Dragons in our Dreams and Daring Deeds James Hale, PG,CEO Path Choices
  • 3. Anger … Teacher Friend Joy “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” --Bede Jarrett
  • 4. Anger is a FEELING NOT a behavior “All feelings are okay. All behaviors are not.” --Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
  • 5. Anger Cycle Fear Threat Anger Response
  • 6. Fear Anger Increased adrenaline Increased adrenaline Increased blood pressure Increased blood pressure Increased blood flow to Increased blood flow to skeletal muscles, brain, skeletal muscles, brain, and heart and heart Decreased blood flow to Decreased blood flow face and skin to face and skin
  • 7. Anger Cycle Fear Threat Anger Response
  • 8. Anger Cycle Choice
  • 9. Anger Cycle Choice
  • 10. Anger Responses … Repression Suppression Projection Diffusion Misplaced
  • 11. Anger Cycle Fear Threat Anger Response THINK
  • 12. THINK … 3 steps 1. Recognize 2. Analyze 3. Verbalize
  • 13. 1. Recognize Your Anger Sooner 100 Murderous Rage Anger 80 20 10 Mild irritation 0
  • 14. 2. Analyze 4 questions: 1. What is the target? 2. What was the trigger (fear)? 3. How full is my bucket? 4. What do I want?
  • 15. Anger Triggers Attacks on… Self Anything that is a part of you physically, intellectually, or emotionally Intelligence Projects Teams Family Values
  • 16. 3. Verbalize No put downs or discounts I feel _________________ (feeling) When you _______________________ (behavior trigger) Because ____________________ (what I want)
  • 17. Anger Policy • Set anger ground rules: •No put downs •Person who is angry will not sit on their anger •You must have a backup plan •Tell others how full your bucket is •You must listen • Angry Employee of the Quarter
  • 18. Additional reading … “Dealing with Difficult People” Ben Bissell “Letters I Never Wrote, Conversations I Never Had” Charles B. Bissell “The Angry Book” Theodore Isaac Rubin “Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion” Carol Tavris “Caring Enough to Confront” David Augsburger “The Dance of Anger” Harriet Goldhor Lerner