This document summarizes key points about ethics and civility in interpersonal communication from Chapter 12. It discusses the significance of ethical principles in relationships, deception within relationships, and ways to improve ethical decision-making. The five ethical ideals established by the National Communication Association are respect, responsibility, integrity, fairness, and truthfulness. While deception can damage trust, it is not always unethical depending on factors like intent and consequences. Maintaining civility during disagreements and owning one's communication choices can strengthen relationships.

1. CHAPTER 12
Ethics and Civility
Copyright © 2022 W. W. Norton & Company

2. Ethics and civility
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3. 12.1 Significance of ethical IPC
• Interpersonal communication ethics are the set of
beliefs, values, and principles that guide
communication behaviors within a relationship.
• Your IPC ethics help you determine whether a
communication choice is right or wrong, moral or
immoral.
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4. Five ethical ideals (1)
• The National Communication Association has
established a Credo for Ethical Communication.
• To help remember these ideals, use the acronym
RRIFT:
 Respect
 Responsibility
 Integrity
 Fairness
 Truthfulness
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5. Five ethical ideals (2)
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6. The golden and platinum rules
• The golden rule encourages you to treat others the
way you wish to be treated.
• Another perspective to consider is the platinum
rule: treat others the way they wish to be treated.
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7. Moral absolutism and relativism
• Moral absolutism, or the objective view of ethics,
suggests that certain behaviors are always right and
others are always wrong.
• Moral relativism, or the subjective view of ethics,
considers the particular circumstances surrounding
an action to determine whether it is ethical.
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8. Ethical choices are challenging at times (1)
• The ethic of duty to disclose calls on us to be
transparent with our intentions and share information
in a timely manner when it may involve or affect
another person.
• Another challenging aspect of ethical communication is
the obligation to give our relational partners
significant choice.
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9. Ethical choices are challenging at times (2)
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10. Unethical communication damages relationships (1)
• A relational transgression is an unethical action
taken by someone you know that hurts you or
makes you feel betrayed.
• The lingering negative feelings you have as a result
of a relational transgression are referred to as
ongoing negative affect.
• Projection is the mental process of assuming that a
relational partner is guilty of doing something—or is
capable of doing something—that you’ve done
yourself.
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11. Unethical communication damages relationships (2)
“I was really interested in a guy named
Mitchell. My friend Veronica said to me
‘Watch out with that one, he’s a player,
trust me.’ Because of her warning, I
kept him at a distance when he showed
a lot of interest in me. Afterward,
Mitchell started liking Veronica, and
she immediately started dating him. I
learned later that she manipulated me
into thinking he was not someone I
should date because she wanted to
date him. I had no interest in being her
friend after that.” —Erin

12. Unethical communication damages relationships (3)
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13. Ethical communication strengthens relationships
• Interpersonal trust is a person’s firm belief in the ability,
reliability, and honesty of another person.
• Relational partners can avoid feelings of uncertainty, insecurity,
worry, cynicism, disappointment, resentment, anger, and
sadness if they establish and maintain trust in each other.
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14. Institutional and legal consequences of unethical IPC (1)
• Harassment is any behavior that makes a person feel
uncomfortable, threatened, or unsafe.
• If a company or organization fails to take action to stop
harassment in the workplace, the Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission can fine it for perpetuating a hostile
work environment.
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15. Institutional and legal consequences of unethical IPC (2)
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16. 12.2 Deception within relationships
• Deception is communication behavior that deliberately
misleads another person, including any communication that is
not completely honest or forthcoming.
• If your deception is successful, you may experience duping
delight: a feeling of gratification the moment you realize you
just fooled someone and got away with it.
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17. Reasons for deception (1)
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18. Reasons for deception (2)
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19. Is deception always unethical? (1)
• Misleading or dishonest communication meant to help the
receiver is called benevolent deception.
• Another form of deception that may not raise any ethical
concerns is deceptive affection (DA), which occurs when
we don’t express our true feelings.
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20. Is deception always unethical? (2)
“One of my elderly patients, Donald,
has advanced Alzheimer’s disease. He
often asks me if he is going to see his
wife, Vesta, later in the day. Because of
his memory loss, he doesn’t remember
that she passed away three years ago. If
I said, ‘Sorry, no, she’s dead,’ it would
be like he was hearing it for the first
time. He’d become distraught. So I first
try to distract him. If that doesn’t work,
I think it’s in his best interests if I say,
‘Yes you will,’ or ‘Not today but
tomorrow.” He soon forgets he even
asked the question or what my answer
was.” —Javonti

21. Low-stakes versus high-stakes deception
• Low-stakes deception is dishonest communication where the
consequences, if any, are minor or unsubstantial.
• High-stakes deception is dishonest communication that is
likely to be harmful to a relationship.
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22. Detecting deception
• Under certain conditions, a person who is trying to deceive you
may:
 Speak with a higher-pitched voice
 Appear nervous or anxious
 Pause when a question is very easy to answer
 Add unnecessary details to an answer
 Give a very short answer when more elaboration would be
expected
 Alter their rate of speech
 Stumble over their words
 Avoid eye contact or look at you more directly for a longer
period of time 22

23. Confronting deception
• Direct approach
• Indirect approach
• Covert methods
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24. 12.3 Ways to improve ethical decision-making
• Confront unethical communication constructively
• Use I-language, beginning your sentences with
phrases such as “I need,” “I value,” or “I
appreciate.”
• Recognize and encourage ethical behaviors
• Own your communication choices.
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25. Own your communication choices
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26. Be honest, sensitive, and tactful
“I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but
I also didn’t want to lie to her—or eat
the dish again! I told her, ‘Babe, I can
see you put your heart into this
casserole. It took a long time to make.
I like how you’re trying out some new
meal ideas. Thank you. It was too
spicy for me, and I’m not a fan of pork.
But because you went out of your way
to make this, let me treat you to some
frozen yogurt.’” —Aarush

27. Disagree with civility (1)
• Civility is the level of politeness and courtesy you extend to a
conversational partner.
• If you want to influence a person’s thinking and keep a
conversation from becoming hostile, you have a greater chance
of doing so with active listening.
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28. Disagree with civility (2)
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29. Civil disagreement
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30. Credits
This concludes the Lecture PowerPoint presentation for Chapter 12.
For more resources, please visit It’s Interpersonal, An Introduction to
Relational Communication, at:
http://digital.wwnorton.com/interpersonal
Copyright © 2022 W. W. Norton & Company