The document discusses strategies for couples to effectively address conflicts and problems in their relationship, emphasizing the importance of active listening, persuading, negotiating, and reaching compromise. It outlines three styles of problem solving in relationships: validating, conflict-avoiding, and volatile, and highlights the need for couples to understand their own styles to foster open communication. It encourages couples to consider what they require from each other to feel safe in discussing problems directly.

1. How Couples Can
Address Conflict And
Problems For A More
Satisfying Relationship
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2. Couples find themselves
addressing problems large
and small throughout the day.

3. Learning some basic
skills and a format for
addressing problems
can be helpful.

4. The stages of problem solving usually
follow a familiar pattern for those
who address conflict and problems
intentionally.

5. STAGES OF
PROBLEM
SOLVING:

6. LISTENING
Both partners use active
listening to understand
the other’s position on
the subject.

7. PERSUADING
Once both partners feel
understood they attempt
to influence the other’s
position.

8. NEGOTIATING
Both partners discuss
what they need and are
willing to give up to reach
compromise.

9. Compromise
Partners agree to terms
that are acceptable to
both.

10. John Gottman identifies three
different styles of problem
solving in which healthy relationships
tend to fall.

11. 01
02
03
VALIDATING RELATIONSHIPS
Compromise and calmly work out
problems.
CONFLICT-AVOIDING
RELATIONSHIPS
Agree to disagree, rare
confrontations.
VOLATILE RELATIONSHIPS
Arguments and all other
communication are passionate.

12. Understanding your
problem solving style as a
couple can be helpful.

13. If you are a couple who
tends to avoid conflict (or
one of you avoids conflict),
it may be more difficult to
intentionally solve
problems.

14. However, problems that
are not addressed directly
tend to resurface, often as
bigger problems.

15. Which style of
problem solving
do you fall into
as a couple?

16. If you have a
different problem
solving style from
your partner or
spouse, how does
this affect your
relationship?

17. What do you need
from your partner
or spouse to feel
safe enough to
address problems
directly?

18. What are you
willing to do to
make it safe for
your partner or
spouse to address
problems?

19. Need help with resolving problems in your
relationship? Visit:
InfidelityHealing.com