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Importance of Pre and Post Marital Therapy by Ms. Paulomi Pandit Upadhyay
1. IMPORTANCE OF
PRE AND POST
MARITAL
COUNSELLINGPaulomi Pandit Upadhyay
Psychologist |Trainer | HypnoBirthing Practitioner
www.paulomipandit.com
2. Pre marital:
happens before
marriage (may
or may not
include distress)
Post marital
means
counselling that
takes place after
marriage.
Marital counselling is
a type of Family
counselling used for
one or both
members of a couple
when there is
distress in their
relationship.
5. Family set up Parenting styles Gender role
expectations
Arranged marriage Customs and rituals Lack of awareness and
faith on Mental health
and wellness
11. Better communication skills
Certain issues get avoided
Problems get a resolution sooner
Eliminate or reduce anxiety about
new life
Easier goal achievement (personal
and professional)
You will get a better framework on
your relationship
More insights about self
Time to work on yourself
You receive support and guidance to
better the relationship
12. Points to
remember
• There is no competition here
• Please do not cheat in any answers you give
• Avoid taunts or comments on any discussion (with
partner)
• Be ready for challenges
• Avoid discussions about the sessions
• Your efforts are of utmost importance!
13. Ask these questions to yourself!
• Expectations from partner (both ways)
• Views about children
• Will my parents and the partner get along?
• Would I choose such a partner for someone very similar to me and close to me.
• Can he/she be a good parent
• Would children learn good qualities from him/her?
• How much could I accept him/her with his/her traits and qualities?And vice versa
• Does he/she support my career? And vice versa
• How comfortable is my partner with my friends of the same as well as opposite gender? How comfortable am I
with the same?
15. Lack of
communication skills
Infidelity Spouse abuse
Substance abuse
Incompatibility in
sex life
Financial concerns
Unexplored Health
concerns
Unforeseen
difficulties
Unplanned
pregnancy
Lack of relationship
framework
Role expectations by
parents
Clash of belief
system
17. When there are too many arguments with no resolution
One or both partners have had or are considering having an affair
Staying together for children
Staying together for societal/financial reasons
When there is too little or no communication
When the only solutions appears to be separation
Both or one partner feels disinterested
19. • Rejuvenate the connection
• Bring back lost intimacy
• Better communication and understanding
• Better problem resolution
• Better balance of personal and professional areas
21. Listen to your partner
Don’t plan a child to resolve issues
Observe your own behaviour
Make a note of things you would like to change in
yourself*
Avoid bringing past conflicts to current ones
Respect differences and bridge the gap
Avoid using children/parents as threats
Have some couple time at least once in 10 days
Equal participation in child rearing practises
23. Help you with
venting
emotions
Give you
insights
Help you get
trained in skills
you need for a
better
relationship
Help you
achieve
desirable
mental states to
function
effectively
26. Please
remember
You are different even if you’re
attracted
Expect surprises
Don’t let others dictate terms
Understand and model a
couple of your choice
Analyse yourself
Commit that you'll do your best
to make it work!
27. Your role as
parents/other
family
members of a
couple
• Avoid participating in the arguments
• Avoid taking sides
• Understand the ground rules first
• Do not attach your complains
• Don’t judge their understanding as a couple
• Avoid blaming anyone
• Understand and respect the generation gap!
• Avoid gossip as a vent out mechanism
28. Things you
must do as
a
responsible
family
member
• Act on the ground rules!!!
• Give privacy
• Treat the partners like partners
• Treat your daughter in law the way you want your
daughter to be treated (ditto for son in law)
• Express concern in private and show support
• Be a positive influence
• Encourage them to seek help