Becoming A Counselor

BECOMING ABECOMING A
COUNSELORCOUNSELOR
Wednesday, February 7, 2018Wednesday, February 7, 2018angstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.com

Basic Counseling SkillsBasic Counseling Skills
Top ten basic counseling skills which can help to buildTop ten basic counseling skills which can help to build
rapport between counselor and the client.rapport between counselor and the client.
11. Listening. Listening
22.. EmpathyEmpathy
33. Genuineness. Genuineness
44. Unconditional Positive Regard. Unconditional Positive Regard
66. Questioning. Questioning
77. Knowledgeable. Knowledgeable
88. Counselor Self- Disclosure. Counselor Self- Disclosure
99. Interpretation. Interpretation
1010. Obstacles to Change. Obstacles to Change

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BasicCounselingBasicCounseling
SkillsSkills
ListeningListening
 CCapturing and understanding theapturing and understanding the verbalverbal andand
nonverbalnonverbal information communicated by thatinformation communicated by that
client.client.
 Two primary sources of information –Two primary sources of information –
 ContentContent -- what is specifically said. Listenwhat is specifically said. Listen
carefully for, not only what a person says, butcarefully for, not only what a person says, but
also the words, expressions and patterns thealso the words, expressions and patterns the
person is usingperson is using..
 ProcessProcess -- all nonverbal phenomena, includingall nonverbal phenomena, including
how content is conveyed, themes, bodyhow content is conveyed, themes, body
language, interactions, smiling etc.language, interactions, smiling etc.
Listening/ObservingListening/Observing

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SkillsSkills
ListeningListening
Attending BehaviorAttending Behavior
 About 80 % of communication takes place non-verbally.About 80 % of communication takes place non-verbally.
 Orienting oneself physically and psychologicalOrienting oneself physically and psychological
 Encourages the other person to talkEncourages the other person to talk
 Lets the client know you’re listeningLets the client know you’re listening
 Conveys empathy.Conveys empathy.
What Does Attending Behavior Look Like?What Does Attending Behavior Look Like?
SHOVLER (Or SOLER – the underlined)SHOVLER (Or SOLER – the underlined)
•SS: Face the other: Face the other SSquarelyquarely
•HH:: HHead nodsead nods
•OO: Adopt an: Adopt an OOpen Posturepen Posture
•VV:: VVerbalerbal FollowingFollowing
•EE: Sp: Speeechech
•LL:: LLeanean toward the othertoward the other
•EE: Make: Make EEyeye ContactContact
•RR: Be Relatively: Be Relatively RRelaxedelaxed

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SkillsSkills
ListeningListening
Good listening involves all of the following-Good listening involves all of the following-
• Eye contact (culturally appropriate)Eye contact (culturally appropriate)
• Demonstrate attention, e.g. noddingDemonstrate attention, e.g. nodding
• Encouragement, e.g.Encouragement, e.g. “Mm-hmm”, “Yes”“Mm-hmm”, “Yes”
• Minimize distractions, e.g. TV, telephone, noiseMinimize distractions, e.g. TV, telephone, noise
• Do not do other tasks at the same timeDo not do other tasks at the same time
• Do not interrupt the client unnecessarilyDo not interrupt the client unnecessarily
• Ask questions if you do not understandAsk questions if you do not understand
• Do not take over and tell your own ‘story’Do not take over and tell your own ‘story’
• Acknowledge the client’s feeling,Acknowledge the client’s feeling,
e.g.e.g. “I can see you feel very sad”“I can see you feel very sad”
• Repeat back the main points of the discussion to checkRepeat back the main points of the discussion to check
understand the client correctly (this is known as paraphrasing,understand the client correctly (this is known as paraphrasing,
reflection of feelings, clarification, summarizing).reflection of feelings, clarification, summarizing).

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SkillsSkills
ListeningListening
Three aspects of listening –Three aspects of listening –
 Linguistic:Linguistic: actual words, phrases andactual words, phrases and
metaphors used to convey feelings.metaphors used to convey feelings.
 Paralinguistic:Paralinguistic: not words themselves butnot words themselves but
timing, accent, volume, pitch, etc.timing, accent, volume, pitch, etc.
 Non-verbal:Non-verbal: ‘body language’ or facial‘body language’ or facial
expression, use of gestures, bodyexpression, use of gestures, body
position and movement, proximity orposition and movement, proximity or
touch in relation to the counselor.touch in relation to the counselor.

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
 Experience of understanding anotherExperience of understanding another
person’s condition from their perspective.person’s condition from their perspective.
 Ability to perceive another’s experience andAbility to perceive another’s experience and
then to communicate that perception backthen to communicate that perception back
to the individual to clarify and amplify theirto the individual to clarify and amplify their
own experiencing and meaning.own experiencing and meaning.
Primary skills associated with the communicationPrimary skills associated with the communication
of empathy include-of empathy include-
A.A. Nonverbal and verbal attendingNonverbal and verbal attending
B.B. Paraphrasing content of client communicationsParaphrasing content of client communications
C.C. Reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.Reflecting client feelings and implicit messages.

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
 The ways in which counselors can be “with” theirThe ways in which counselors can be “with” their
clients, both physically and psychologically.clients, both physically and psychologically.
 It tells clients that you are with them and thatIt tells clients that you are with them and that
they can share their world with you.they can share their world with you.
 Acronym SOLER can be used to help to show innerAcronym SOLER can be used to help to show inner
attitudes and values of respect and genuinenessattitudes and values of respect and genuineness
towards a client.towards a client.
SS :: SSquarely face your client.quarely face your client.
OO : Adopt an: Adopt an OOpen Posture.pen Posture.
LL :: LLean toward the client (when appropriate) to show yourean toward the client (when appropriate) to show your
involvement and interest.involvement and interest.
EE :: EEye contact with a client conveys the message that youye contact with a client conveys the message that you
are interested in what the client has to say.are interested in what the client has to say.
RR : Try to be: Try to be RRelaxed or natural with the client.elaxed or natural with the client.
AttendingAttending

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
Attending PhysicallyAttending Physically
 A Posture of InvolvementA Posture of Involvement
 Appropriate Body MotionAppropriate Body Motion
 Eye ContactEye Contact
 Creating a Non DestructingCreating a Non Destructing
EnvironmentEnvironment
AttendingAttending

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
ObservingObserving
 Observing means asking clients about themselves.Observing means asking clients about themselves.
 It involves –It involves –
• Ask clients about their reasons for coming.Ask clients about their reasons for coming.
• Help clients decide what decisions they face.Help clients decide what decisions they face.
• Help clients express their feelings, needs, wants and anyHelp clients express their feelings, needs, wants and any
doubts, concerns or talking.doubts, concerns or talking.
• Keep questions open, simple and brief.Keep questions open, simple and brief.
• Ask clients what they want to do.Ask clients what they want to do.
• Listen actively to what the client says.Listen actively to what the client says.
• Follow where the client leads the discussion.Follow where the client leads the discussion.
• Show your interest and understanding at all times.Show your interest and understanding at all times.
• Express empathy.Express empathy.
• Avoid judgments and opinion.Avoid judgments and opinion.
AttendingAttending

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
 Counselor rephrases the content of the client’sCounselor rephrases the content of the client’s
message.message.
 Selective focusing on the cognitive part of theSelective focusing on the cognitive part of the
message – with the client’s key words andmessage – with the client’s key words and
ideas.ideas.
 Being communicated back to the client in aBeing communicated back to the client in a
rephrased and shortened form.rephrased and shortened form.
Examples - Client: I feel terrible.
Counselor: You feel terrible.
Client: I heard a noise.
Counselor: A noise?
ParaphrasingParaphrasing

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
Four steps in effective paraphrasing-Four steps in effective paraphrasing-
A.A.Listen and recallListen and recall: Entire client message recalled and do: Entire client message recalled and do
not omit any significant parts.not omit any significant parts.
B.B. Identify the contentIdentify the content:: Part of the message by decidingPart of the message by deciding
what event, situation, idea, or person the client is talkingwhat event, situation, idea, or person the client is talking
about.about.
C.C. RephraseRephrase: key words and ideas the client has used to: key words and ideas the client has used to
communicate their concerns in a fresh or differentcommunicate their concerns in a fresh or different
perspective.perspective.
D.D. Perception checkPerception check:: Usually in the form of a briefUsually in the form of a brief
question, e.g. “It sounds like...”, “Let me see if Iquestion, e.g. “It sounds like...”, “Let me see if I
understand this”, which allows the client to agree orunderstand this”, which allows the client to agree or
disagree with the accuracy of your paraphrasing.disagree with the accuracy of your paraphrasing.

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SkillsSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
Purposes of ParaphrasingPurposes of Paraphrasing
• Convey that you are understanding him/herConvey that you are understanding him/her
• Help the client by simplifying, focusing andHelp the client by simplifying, focusing and
crystallizing what they saidcrystallizing what they said
• May encourage the client to elaborateMay encourage the client to elaborate
• Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions.Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions.
When to UseWhen to Use
 When you have an hypothesis about what’s going on withWhen you have an hypothesis about what’s going on with
the clientthe client
 When the client is in a decision making conflictWhen the client is in a decision making conflict
 When the client has presented a lot of material and youWhen the client has presented a lot of material and you
feel confused.feel confused.

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BasicCounselingSkillsBasicCounselingSkills
EmpathyEmpathy
 It is the echoing back of the last few words that theIt is the echoing back of the last few words that the
client has spoken.client has spoken.
 It is a verbal response to client emotion.It is a verbal response to client emotion.
 It is the process of paraphrasing and restating both theIt is the process of paraphrasing and restating both the
feelings and words of the client.feelings and words of the client.
CounseleeCounselee:: We moved to Chittagong from Rajbari at theWe moved to Chittagong from Rajbari at the
beginning of last year but none of us really settled down.beginning of last year but none of us really settled down.
My wife never did like living in such a large city. I found itMy wife never did like living in such a large city. I found it
difficult to get a job…difficult to get a job…
CounCounselorselor: You found it difficult to get a job…: You found it difficult to get a job…
CounseleeCounselee: Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I: Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I
suppose I didn’t really try hard enough…suppose I didn’t really try hard enough…
CounselorCounselor:: You didn’t really try hard enough…You didn’t really try hard enough…
ReflectingReflecting

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EmpathyEmpathy
Purposes of a ReflectionPurposes of a Reflection
• Helps clientsHelps clients
• Feel understoodFeel understood
• Express more feelingsExpress more feelings
• Manage feelingsManage feelings
• Discriminate among variousDiscriminate among various
feelings.feelings.

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EmpathyEmpathy
Two main techniques of reflecting are-Two main techniques of reflecting are-
 MirroringMirroring
 It is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeatingIt is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeating
almost exactly what the speaker says.almost exactly what the speaker says.
 It should be short and simple.It should be short and simple.
 It is usually enough to just repeat key words or the lastIt is usually enough to just repeat key words or the last
few words spoken.few words spoken.
 This shows you are trying to understand the speakersThis shows you are trying to understand the speakers
terms of reference and acts as a prompt for him or herterms of reference and acts as a prompt for him or her
to continue.to continue.
 Be aware not to over mirror as this can become irritatingBe aware not to over mirror as this can become irritating
and therefore a distraction from the message.and therefore a distraction from the message.
 ParaphrasingParaphrasing

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EmpathyEmpathy
Guidelines for ReflectingGuidelines for Reflecting
 Be natural.Be natural.
 Listen for the basic message - consider theListen for the basic message - consider the
content, feeling and meaning expressed by thecontent, feeling and meaning expressed by the
speaker.speaker.
 Restate what you have been told in simple terms.Restate what you have been told in simple terms.
 When restating, look for non-verbal as well asWhen restating, look for non-verbal as well as
verbal cues that confirm or deny the accuracy ofverbal cues that confirm or deny the accuracy of
your paraphrasing.your paraphrasing.
 Do not question the speaker unnecessarily.Do not question the speaker unnecessarily.
 Do not add to the speaker's meaning.Do not add to the speaker's meaning.
 Do not take the speaker's topic in a new direction.Do not take the speaker's topic in a new direction.
 Always be non-directive and non-judgmental.Always be non-directive and non-judgmental.

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EmpathyEmpathy
Steps of a ReflectionSteps of a Reflection
a.a. Listen closely and observe behaviorListen closely and observe behavior
• Watch nonverbal behaviorWatch nonverbal behavior
• Verbally reflect the feelings back to the clientVerbally reflect the feelings back to the client
b.b. Identify the feeling categoryIdentify the feeling category
c.c. Identify the intensityIdentify the intensity
d.d. Match the feeling and intensity of a wordMatch the feeling and intensity of a word
e.e. Feed back to the clientFeed back to the client
f.f. Add content using the formAdd content using the form
““You feel ___ , because _____”.You feel ___ , because _____”.
g.g. Check for accuracy.Check for accuracy.

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SkillsSkills
 Genuineness (also known as congruence) refers toGenuineness (also known as congruence) refers to
the therapist’s ability is be authentic.the therapist’s ability is be authentic.
 When a therapist is genuine, s/he might shareWhen a therapist is genuine, s/he might share
her/his emotional reactions to clients’ problems andher/his emotional reactions to clients’ problems and
experiences.experiences.
 Genuineness does not mean therapists disclose theirGenuineness does not mean therapists disclose their
problems to clients; it just means the therapistproblems to clients; it just means the therapist
shares his or her feelings regarding the client’sshares his or her feelings regarding the client’s
experiences.experiences.
For exampleFor example, helping a client explore a drug or sexual, helping a client explore a drug or sexual
issue, but their behavior (verbally and nonverbally)issue, but their behavior (verbally and nonverbally)
shows signs of discomfort with the topic this willshows signs of discomfort with the topic this will
become an obstacle to progress and often lead tobecome an obstacle to progress and often lead to
client confusion about and mistrust of the counselor.client confusion about and mistrust of the counselor.
GenuinenessGenuineness

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SkillsSkills
GenuinenessGenuineness
Some of the qualities go to make up genuineness are -Some of the qualities go to make up genuineness are -
 Professional roleProfessional role: Relating to others and helping: Relating to others and helping
others are part of the life of a counselor.others are part of the life of a counselor.
 SpontaneitySpontaneity: A genuine person is spontaneous and: A genuine person is spontaneous and
free - but not impulsive.free - but not impulsive.
 Non defensiveNon defensive: The genuine person is non: The genuine person is non
defensive and is aware of his/her strengths anddefensive and is aware of his/her strengths and
limitations.limitations.
 ConsistencyConsistency: A genuine counselor has few: A genuine counselor has few
discrepancies, and does not have one set of valuesdiscrepancies, and does not have one set of values
for each situation he/she is confronted with.for each situation he/she is confronted with.
 Self-sharingSelf-sharing: The genuine counselor is capable of: The genuine counselor is capable of
deep self-disclosure.deep self-disclosure.

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SkillsSkills UnconditionalUnconditional
Positive RegardPositive Regard
 Sensitivity, respect, friendliness andSensitivity, respect, friendliness and
consideration are effective as counselingconsideration are effective as counseling
ingredients.ingredients.
 Showing personal warmth is basic in anyShowing personal warmth is basic in any
relationship.relationship.
 An expression of caring and nurturance as wellAn expression of caring and nurturance as well
as acceptance.as acceptance.
 Includes conveying warmth through.Includes conveying warmth through.
 Also conveying acceptance by responding to theAlso conveying acceptance by responding to the
client’s messages (verbal and nonverbal) withclient’s messages (verbal and nonverbal) with
nonjudgmental or non-critical verbal &nonjudgmental or non-critical verbal &
nonverbal reactions.nonverbal reactions.

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SkillsSkills
ConcretenessConcreteness
Keeping communications specific - focused on factsKeeping communications specific - focused on facts
and feelings of relevant concerns, while avoidingand feelings of relevant concerns, while avoiding
tangents, generalizations, abstract discussions, ortangents, generalizations, abstract discussions, or
talking about counselor rather than the client.talking about counselor rather than the client.
Includes the following functions-Includes the following functions-
 Assisting client to identify and work on a specificAssisting client to identify and work on a specific
problem from the various ones presented.problem from the various ones presented.
 Reminding the client of the task and re-describingReminding the client of the task and re-describing
intent and structure of the session.intent and structure of the session.
 Using questions and suggestions to help the clientUsing questions and suggestions to help the client
clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.clarify facts, terms, feelings, and goals.
 Use a here-and-now focus to emphasize processUse a here-and-now focus to emphasize process
and content occurring in current session.and content occurring in current session.

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SkillsSkills
QuestioningQuestioning
It helps us understand the client’s situation and itIt helps us understand the client’s situation and it
helps us assess clinical conditions.helps us assess clinical conditions.
When asking questionsWhen asking questions --
DODO ask one question at a timeask one question at a time
DODO look at the personlook at the person
DODO be brief and clearbe brief and clear
DODO ask questions that serve a purposeask questions that serve a purpose
DODO use questions to help the client talk about theiruse questions to help the client talk about their
feelings and behaviorsfeelings and behaviors
DODO use questions to explore and understand issuesuse questions to explore and understand issues
DO NOTDO NOT ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity.ask questions simply to satisfy curiosity.
Irrelevant questions may cause people to feel pushedIrrelevant questions may cause people to feel pushed
or reluctant to answer.or reluctant to answer.

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SkillsSkills
Three styles of questions-Three styles of questions-
A.A. Closed questions:Closed questions: Limits the response of the clientLimits the response of the client
to a one-word answer. It may not requires clientsto a one-word answer. It may not requires clients
to think about what they are saying. Answers canto think about what they are saying. Answers can
be brief and often result in the need to ask morebe brief and often result in the need to ask more
questions.questions.
B.B. Open questions:Open questions: Requires more than a one-wordRequires more than a one-word
answer. It generally begins with “how”, ”what”,answer. It generally begins with “how”, ”what”,
“when”, “where” or “why”. It invites the client to“when”, “where” or “why”. It invites the client to
continue talking and decide the conversationcontinue talking and decide the conversation
direction.direction.
C.C. Leading questions:Leading questions: Counselor guides the client toCounselor guides the client to
give the answer they desire. These questions aregive the answer they desire. These questions are
usually judgmental.usually judgmental.

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SkillsSkills
Questions that can easily answer with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- orQuestions that can easily answer with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- or
two-word responses-two-word responses-
 ““Are you going to have the test done?”Are you going to have the test done?”
 ““Did you drink before you got into the car?”Did you drink before you got into the car?”
 ““Do you drink often?”Do you drink often?”
 ““Do you exercise?”Do you exercise?”
 ““Do you like your job?”Do you like your job?”
Purposes of Closed-Ended QuestionsPurposes of Closed-Ended Questions
• Obtain specific informationObtain specific information
• Identify parameters of a problem or issueIdentify parameters of a problem or issue
• Narrow the topic of discussionNarrow the topic of discussion
• Interrupt an over-talkative client.Interrupt an over-talkative client.
Closed-Ended QuestionsClosed-Ended Questions

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SkillsSkills
Questions that clients cannot easily answer withQuestions that clients cannot easily answer with
“Yes”, “No,” or one- or two-word responses.“Yes”, “No,” or one- or two-word responses.
Most often –Most often –
Open-Ended QuestionsOpen-Ended Questions
How:How: enables talk about feelings and/orenables talk about feelings and/or
process.process.
What:What: leads to facts and information.leads to facts and information.
When:When: brings out the timing of the problem.brings out the timing of the problem.
Where:Where: enables discussion about theenables discussion about the
environment and situations.environment and situations.
Why?:Why?: brings out reasons.brings out reasons.

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SkillsSkills
Open-Ended QuestionsOpen-Ended Questions
Purposes of Open-Ended QuestionsPurposes of Open-Ended Questions
• Begin an interviewBegin an interview
• Encourage client elaborationEncourage client elaboration
• Elicit specific examplesElicit specific examples
• Motivate clients to communicate.Motivate clients to communicate.

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SkillsSkills
ExamplesExamples
CC: Are you scared?: Are you scared?
OO: How do you feel?: How do you feel?
CC: Are you concerned about what you will: Are you concerned about what you will
do if the test results are positive?do if the test results are positive?
OO: What do you think you might do if: What do you think you might do if
the test results are positive?the test results are positive?
CC: Is your relationship with your husband: Is your relationship with your husband
a good one?a good one?
OO: Tell me about your relationship with: Tell me about your relationship with
your husband.your husband.
ClosedClosed vs. Openvs. Open Ended QuestionsEnded Questions

66
SkillsSkills
Counselor guides the client to give the answer theyCounselor guides the client to give the answer they
desire. These questions are usually judgmental.desire. These questions are usually judgmental.
For example-For example-
You came to consider this, didn’t you?You came to consider this, didn’t you?
You are enjoying your job, aren’t you?You are enjoying your job, aren’t you?
 It can be used positively to draw out and clarifyIt can be used positively to draw out and clarify
issues relevant to the counseling session.issues relevant to the counseling session.
 Over-using questions can have a negative impact onOver-using questions can have a negative impact on
the session.the session.
 Wrong types of questioning techniques, at theWrong types of questioning techniques, at the
wrong time, in the hands of an unskilledwrong time, in the hands of an unskilled
interviewer/ counselor, can cause unnecessaryinterviewer/ counselor, can cause unnecessary
discomfort and confusion to the client.discomfort and confusion to the client.
Leading QuestionsLeading Questions

77
SkillsSkills
KnowledgeableKnowledgeable It is essential to have accurateIt is essential to have accurate
and up-to-date knowledge.and up-to-date knowledge.
 Counselors should be wellCounselors should be well
informed about the field theyinformed about the field they
work within, including thework within, including the
services and resources availableservices and resources available
to their client group within theirto their client group within their
setting and community.setting and community.

77
SkillsSkills
KnowledgeableKnowledgeable
 Qualities to engage in self- explorationQualities to engage in self- exploration
 Self-confidenceSelf-confidence
 EmpathyEmpathy
 AcceptanceAcceptance
 GenuinenessGenuineness
 TrustworthinessTrustworthiness
 ConfidentialityConfidentiality
 Competence.Competence.
Qualities of a Good CounselorQualities of a Good Counselor

77
SkillsSkills
KnowledgeableKnowledgeable Pushing or threatening the clientPushing or threatening the client
 Offering their opinionOffering their opinion
 Judging the client or their lifestyleJudging the client or their lifestyle
 Telling a client they “know” how they feelTelling a client they “know” how they feel
 Imposing your own beliefsImposing your own beliefs
 Sidestepping the client’s present problemSidestepping the client’s present problem
 Minimizing the client’s problemMinimizing the client’s problem
 InterruptingInterrupting
 Taking responsibility for client’s problem & decisionsTaking responsibility for client’s problem & decisions
 Becoming immersed in the client’s situationBecoming immersed in the client’s situation
 Using words such as “should” and “must”Using words such as “should” and “must”
 Blocking strong emotions.Blocking strong emotions.
Good Counselors Should Stay Away FromGood Counselors Should Stay Away From

88
SkillsSkills
Self-Self-
disclosuredisclosure It is a simple approach to communication thatIt is a simple approach to communication that
involves sharing information about yourself,involves sharing information about yourself,
history, present, emotions and thoughts.history, present, emotions and thoughts.
 CCounselor shares personal feelings, experiences,ounselor shares personal feelings, experiences,
or reactions to the client.or reactions to the client.
 Should include relevant content intended to helpShould include relevant content intended to help
them.them.
Four different types of self-disclosures are –Four different types of self-disclosures are –
 Deliberate,Deliberate,
 Unavoidable,Unavoidable,
 Accidental andAccidental and
 Client initiated.Client initiated.

88
SkillsSkills
 Deliberate Self DisclosureDeliberate Self Disclosure:: Therapists’ intentional,Therapists’ intentional,
verbal or non-verbal disclosure of personal information.verbal or non-verbal disclosure of personal information.
Two types of deliberate self-disclosures are –Two types of deliberate self-disclosures are –
1.1.Self-revealingSelf-revealing - information by therapists about- information by therapists about
themselves.themselves.
2. Self-involving2. Self-involving - therapists’ personal reactions to clients- therapists’ personal reactions to clients
and to occurrences that take place during sessions.and to occurrences that take place during sessions.
 Unavoidable Self DisclosureUnavoidable Self Disclosure: It include an: It include an
extremely wide range of possibilities, such as therapist’sextremely wide range of possibilities, such as therapist’s
gender, age and physics. Therapists reveal themselvesgender, age and physics. Therapists reveal themselves
also by their manner of dress, hairstyle, use of make-also by their manner of dress, hairstyle, use of make-
up, jewelry, perfume, marital status, religion or politicalup, jewelry, perfume, marital status, religion or political
affiliation and other personal information may be readilyaffiliation and other personal information may be readily
available to clients.available to clients.
Self-Self-
disclosuredisclosure

88
SkillsSkills
 Accidental Self-DisclosureAccidental Self-Disclosure: Occurs when there: Occurs when there
are incidental (unplanned) encounters outside theare incidental (unplanned) encounters outside the
office, spontaneous verbal or non-verbal reactions, oroffice, spontaneous verbal or non-verbal reactions, or
other planned and unplanned occurrences that happenother planned and unplanned occurrences that happen
to reveal therapists’ personal information to theirto reveal therapists’ personal information to their
clients.clients.

 Clients’ InitiateClients’ Initiate: Clients can initiate inquiries: Clients can initiate inquiries
about their therapist. Such searches can reveal aabout their therapist. Such searches can reveal a
wide range of professional and personal information,wide range of professional and personal information,
such as family history, volunteer activity, politicalsuch as family history, volunteer activity, political
affiliations and much more. Therapists’ biographies oraffiliations and much more. Therapists’ biographies or
professional resumes may also reveal significantprofessional resumes may also reveal significant
information about the therapist.information about the therapist.
Self-Self-

88
SkillsSkills
Some dangers of self-disclosure are-Some dangers of self-disclosure are-
 It can move the focus from the otherIt can move the focus from the other
person to you.person to you.
 It can create a pressure to support orIt can create a pressure to support or
protect you.protect you.
 It can be mistaken for advice.It can be mistaken for advice.
 Therapists’ theoretical orientation andTherapists’ theoretical orientation and
comfort with self-disclosure is oftencomfort with self-disclosure is often
determined by their culture, gender anddetermined by their culture, gender and
personality.personality.
Self-Self-

99
SkillsSkills
InterpretationInterpretation
 Counselor is providing new meaning, reason, orCounselor is providing new meaning, reason, or
explanation for behaviors, thoughts, or feelingsexplanation for behaviors, thoughts, or feelings
so that client can see problems in a new way.so that client can see problems in a new way.
 It can help the client makes connection betweenIt can help the client makes connection between
seemingly isolated statements of events, canseemingly isolated statements of events, can
point out themes or patterns, or can offer apoint out themes or patterns, or can offer a
new framework for understanding.new framework for understanding.
 It may be used to help a client focus on aIt may be used to help a client focus on a
specific aspect of their problem, or provide aspecific aspect of their problem, or provide a
goal.goal.
 Keep interpretations short, concrete andKeep interpretations short, concrete and
deliver them tentatively and with empathy.deliver them tentatively and with empathy.

1010
Obstacles toObstacles to
ChangeChangeFor Information Giving and Removing Obstacles to Change -For Information Giving and Removing Obstacles to Change -
 Supplying data, opinions, facts,Supplying data, opinions, facts,
resources or answers to questions.resources or answers to questions.
 Explore with client possible problemsExplore with client possible problems
which may delay or prevent theirwhich may delay or prevent their
change process.change process.
 In collaboration with the clientIn collaboration with the client
identify possible solutions andidentify possible solutions and
alternatives.alternatives.

Counseling Micro-SkillsCounseling Micro-Skills
Counseling micro-skills are essential forCounseling micro-skills are essential for
effective communication and the developmenteffective communication and the development
of a supportive client-counselor relationship.of a supportive client-counselor relationship.
These include –These include –
 Listening and EmpathyListening and Empathy
 QuestioningQuestioning
 SilenceSilence
 Non-verbal Behavior.Non-verbal Behavior.

CounselingMicro-CounselingMicro-
SkillsSkills
SilenceSilence
 Gives client time to think about whatGives client time to think about what
to sayto say
 Gives client space to express feelingsGives client space to express feelings
 Allows client to proceed at his/herAllows client to proceed at his/her
own paceown pace
 Provides client with time to deal withProvides client with time to deal with
ambivalence about sharingambivalence about sharing
 Gives client freedom to chooseGives client freedom to choose
whether or not to continue.whether or not to continue.

SkillsSkills
Non-verbalNon-verbal
BehaviorBehaviorIt’s not what you say but HOW you say it!It’s not what you say but HOW you say it!
 Majority of communication (80%) isMajority of communication (80%) is
non-verbal.non-verbal.
 Counselors need to be aware of whatCounselors need to be aware of what
they may be communicating to clientsthey may be communicating to clients
through their non-verbal behavior.through their non-verbal behavior.
 They also need to give attention toThey also need to give attention to
what is being communicated throughwhat is being communicated through
the non-verbal behavior of their clients.the non-verbal behavior of their clients.

SkillsSkills
Non-verbal BehaviorNon-verbal Behavior
Body languageBody language ParalinguisticParalinguistic
• GesturesGestures • SighsSighs
• Facial expressionsFacial expressions • GruntsGrunts
• PosturePosture • GroansGroans
• Body orientationBody orientation • Voice pitch changeVoice pitch change
• Body proximity/distanceBody proximity/distance • Voice volumeVoice volume
• Eye contactEye contact • Voice fluencyVoice fluency
• MirroringMirroring • Nervous gigglesNervous giggles
• Remove barriers (e.g. desks)Remove barriers (e.g. desks)

Quick Reference for Counseling Micro-skillsQuick Reference for Counseling Micro-skills
VerbalVerbal Non-verbalNon-verbal
Uses language that the clientUses language that the client
understandsunderstands
Uses a tone of voiceUses a tone of voice
similar to the client’ssimilar to the client’s
Repeats the client’s story inRepeats the client’s story in
other wordsother words
Looks client in the eyeLooks client in the eye
(as appropriate)(as appropriate)
Clarifies client’s statementsClarifies client’s statements Nods occasionallyNods occasionally
Explains clearly andExplains clearly and
adequatelyadequately
Uses facial expressionsUses facial expressions
SummarizesSummarizes Uses occasional gesturesUses occasional gestures
Responds to primary messageResponds to primary message Keeps suitableKeeps suitable
conversational distanceconversational distance
Encourages: “I see”, “Yes”,Encourages: “I see”, “Yes”,
“Mm-hmm”“Mm-hmm”
Speaks at an appropriateSpeaks at an appropriate
pacepace
Addresses client in a mannerAddresses client in a manner
appropriate to the client’s ageappropriate to the client’s age
Physically relaxedPhysically relaxed
Gives needed informationGives needed information Open postureOpen posture

Examples of Non-supportive Behavior in a Selected CultureExamples of Non-supportive Behavior in a Selected Culture
VerbalVerbal Non-verbalNon-verbal
AdvisingAdvising Looking away frequentlyLooking away frequently
Preaching and moralizingPreaching and moralizing Keeping an inappropriateKeeping an inappropriate
distancedistance
Blaming, judging and labelingBlaming, judging and labeling SneeringSneering
Cajoling (persuading by flatteryCajoling (persuading by flattery
or deceit)or deceit)
Frowning, scowling andFrowning, scowling and
yawningyawning
““Why” questions, interrogatingWhy” questions, interrogating Using an unpleasant tone ofUsing an unpleasant tone of
speechspeech
Directing, demandingDirecting, demanding Speaking too quicklySpeaking too quickly
Excessive reassuringExcessive reassuring Speaking too slowlySpeaking too slowly
Straying from the topicStraying from the topic Having a blank facialHaving a blank facial
expressionexpression
Encouraging dependenceEncouraging dependence StaringStaring
Patronizing (condescending)Patronizing (condescending)
attitudeattitude
Moving around too much,Moving around too much,
fidgetingfidgeting
Criticizing or censuringCriticizing or censuring Environmental barriers orEnvironmental barriers or
distractionsdistractions
Wednesday, February 7, 2018tials of Counseling. Abosar Prokashana Sangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabi

Being A Good CounselorBeing A Good Counselor
1.1. JudgmentJudgment:: Although counselors have own values,Although counselors have own values,
these should not be imposed on the client – andthese should not be imposed on the client – and
the counselor must retain the ability to listen tothe counselor must retain the ability to listen to
and accept the views of clients with otherand accept the views of clients with other
standards.standards.

2. Patience and Acceptance2. Patience and Acceptance:: A counselor rarelyA counselor rarely
needs to use his/ her self control in dealing withneeds to use his/ her self control in dealing with
people, even those people who are not likeable.people, even those people who are not likeable.

3. Experience3. Experience:: Learning to grow into a more completeLearning to grow into a more complete
person from the experience of life’s hard knocksperson from the experience of life’s hard knocks
can be a valuable quality in a counselor.can be a valuable quality in a counselor.

4. Education4. Education:: Good counselors are willing and ableGood counselors are willing and able
to learn about themselves and other people too.to learn about themselves and other people too.

Being A Good CounselorBeing A Good Counselor
5. Social Skills5. Social Skills:: Counselors learn through training howCounselors learn through training how
to perceive all aspects of verbal and non-verbalto perceive all aspects of verbal and non-verbal
communication, and deliberately improve theircommunication, and deliberately improve their
listening skills by using appropriate techniques duringlistening skills by using appropriate techniques during
counseling.counseling.

6. Genuineness and Warmth6. Genuineness and Warmth:: Effective counselors haveEffective counselors have
a genuine interest in other people (unconditionala genuine interest in other people (unconditional
positive regard).positive regard).

7. Discretion7. Discretion:: Counselors must show completeCounselors must show complete
discretion, never revealing what others say or dodiscretion, never revealing what others say or do
within the counseling context. Confidentiality iswithin the counseling context. Confidentiality is
paramount in counseling relationships.paramount in counseling relationships.

8. Practice, Practice, Practice8. Practice, Practice, Practice:: Counseling requires aCounseling requires a
lotlot
of training, followed by much practice.of training, followed by much practice.

Skills that help counselors to establish aSkills that help counselors to establish a
positive environment, clarify what the client ispositive environment, clarify what the client is
saying, gather information, and offer supportsaying, gather information, and offer support
and encouragement are-and encouragement are-
1. Attending Behavior1. Attending Behavior
2. Counseling Interventions2. Counseling Interventions
3. Paraphrase3. Paraphrase
4. Summary4. Summary
BeingAGoodBeingAGood
CounselorCounselor

 Intervention is an orchestrated attempt byIntervention is an orchestrated attempt by
one or many people - usually family andone or many people - usually family and
friends – to get someone to seekfriends – to get someone to seek
professional help with an addiction or someprofessional help with an addiction or some
kind of traumatic event or crisis, or otherkind of traumatic event or crisis, or other
serious problem.serious problem.
 Interventions have been used to addressInterventions have been used to address
serious personal problems, including, butserious personal problems, including, but
not limited to, alcoholism, compulsivenot limited to, alcoholism, compulsive
gambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating andgambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating and
other eating disorders, self harm and beingother eating disorders, self harm and being
the victim of abuse.the victim of abuse.
CounselorCounselor
CounselingCounseling
InterventionsInterventions

Main three types of interventions use in counseling are-Main three types of interventions use in counseling are-
1.1. QuestioningQuestioning
A.A. Open-Ended QuestionOpen-Ended Question
B.B. Closed-Ended QuestionClosed-Ended Question
2.2. ReflectionReflection
3.3. ChallengingChallenging
CounselorCounselor

Though challenging and confronting are notThough challenging and confronting are not
associated with counseling, some timesassociated with counseling, some times
they are appropriate and even necessary.they are appropriate and even necessary.
CounseleeCounselee:: There is no one in thisThere is no one in this
organization that I can talk to at all.organization that I can talk to at all.
CounselorCounselor:: No one?No one?
CounseleeCounselee: I have always been a failure,: I have always been a failure,
never been any good at anything.never been any good at anything.
CounselorCounselor:: Always?Always?
CounselorCounselor
ChallengingChallenging

Collection of two or more paraphrases orCollection of two or more paraphrases or
reflections that condenses the client’s messagesreflections that condenses the client’s messages
or the session.or the session.
Purposes of a SummaryPurposes of a Summary
• tie together multiple elements of clienttie together multiple elements of client
messagesmessages
• identify a common theme or patternidentify a common theme or pattern
• interrupt excessive ramblinginterrupt excessive rambling
• start a sessionstart a session
• end a sessionend a session
• pace a sessionpace a session
• review progressreview progress
• serve as a transition when changing topics.serve as a transition when changing topics.
CounselorCounselor
SummarySummary

PersonalPersonal
Characteristics ofCharacteristics of
Effective CounselorEffective Counselor
 GenuinenessGenuineness
 ListeningListening
 UnconditionalUnconditional
positive regardpositive regard
 Believing the clientBelieving the client
 Cultural sensitivityCultural sensitivity
 Showing the wayShowing the way
 HonestyHonesty
 PatiencePatience
 Free expressionFree expression
 Non-judgmentalNon-judgmental
 Being in controlBeing in control
 KnowledgeableKnowledgeable
 Empathetic.Empathetic.

Role of theRole of the
CounselorCounselor
Rapport of the client and counselor isRapport of the client and counselor is
an important factor in counseling.an important factor in counseling.
The counselor must -The counselor must -
 be likable and exhibit interpersonalbe likable and exhibit interpersonal
skills,skills,
 be flexible and able to meetbe flexible and able to meet
individual needs by providingindividual needs by providing
person-specific attention,person-specific attention,
 be available for multiple sessions,be available for multiple sessions,
 have something very applied andhave something very applied and
concrete to offer,concrete to offer,
 exhibit a caring attitude.exhibit a caring attitude.

angstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabir@psy.jnu.ac.bd; smskabir218@gmail.comWednesday, February 7, 2018Wednesday, February 7, 2018
QuestionsQuestions
AnswersAnswers
Wednesday, February 7, 2018

TThhaannkkWednesday, February 7, 2018tials of Counseling. Abosar Prokashana Sangstha, Banglabazar, Dhaka-1100; ISBN: 978-984-8798-22-5, Dkaka - 1100; smskabi

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