This document discusses conflict and ways to help teams deal with it constructively. It introduces the conflict dynamic model and describes different conflict behaviors like perspective taking, expressing emotions, and avoiding. Teams are encouraged to create a common language around conflict, be self-aware of how they handle it, and establish protocols for surfacing and addressing issues. Some suggestions are using a 24-hour rule to address conflicts, keeping issues depersonalized, respecting different perspectives, and using humor to lighten tensions. The overall goal is helping teams constructively deal with desires for change.

1. July 23, 2015

2. AGENDA
Discuss what conflict is and ways it shows itself
Introduce conflict dynamic model
Ways to help your teams

3. What is conflict?
It’s a desire for something to change
Not something to be managed
or tolerated

4. Form 2-3 groups
Each group talk about their set of cards
 What they mean
 How this is conflict
 Do you behave/act in one of these ways?
 See your teammates behave/act in these ways?

6. Perspective Taking – putting yourself in the other person’s position and trying to
understand that person’s point of view.
Creating Solutions – brainstorming with the other person, asking questions, and
trying to create solutions to the problem
Expressing Emotions – talking honestly with the other person and expressing your
thoughts and feelings.
Reaching Out – reaching out to the other person, making the first move, and trying
to make amends.
Reflective Thinking – analyzing the situation, weighing the pros and cons, and
thinking about the best response.
Delay Responding – waiting things out, letting matters settle down, or taking a
“time out” when emotions are running high.
Adapting – staying flexible, and trying to make the best of the situation.

7. Winning at All Costs – arguing vigorously for your own position and trying to win at
all costs.
Displaying Anger – expressing anger, raising your voice, and using harsh, angry
words.
Demeaning Others – laughing at the other person, ridiculing the other’s ideas, and
using sarcasm.
Retaliating – obstructing the other person, retaliating against the other, and trying
to get revenge.
Avoiding – avoiding or ignoring the other person, and acting distant and aloof.
Yielding – giving in to the other person in order to avoid further conflict.
Hiding Emotions – concealing your true emotions even though feeling upset.
Self-Criticizing – replaying the incident over in your mind, and criticizing yourself for
not handling it better.

8. • Create a common language (i.e., Conflict Dynamic
Model)
• Be self-aware of who you are, who you WANT to be
• Create and use Conflict Protocols
• How do we want it to be when we’re in conflict?
• How will we surface conflict?
• What do you know about yourself in dealing with
conflict?
• Make agreements on culture and behavior.

9. • Behavior
• 24 hour rule: address it within a day or drop it
• Let go of old issues or stories
• Depersonalize conflict: keep it about the issue, not the
people
• Culture
• Respect each other and different perspectives
• Assume positive intent
• Humor when it gets tough or heavy