The document provides five tips for effective listening: 1) Make eye contact and face the speaker to show respect and attention; 2) Focus on what the speaker is saying rather than being distracted; 3) Keep an open mind without judging the speaker; 4) Only ask questions to clarify understanding and don't interrupt; 5) Try to understand the speaker's perspective and feelings by showing empathy in your responses.

1. EFFECTIVE LISTENING
LEARN HOW TO AVOID BEING TAKEN FOR AN INSENSITIVE JERK IN FIVE EASY
STEPS! “BE LEGENDARY!”

2. FACING THE SPEAKER & EYE CONTACT
 Baseline in the western hemisphere for communicating respect
 If you don’t maintain eye contact you can appear distracted
 Look at the speaker, even if they don’t look at you
 Not looking at someone can be seen as a sign of negativity. (IE. Shy,
uncertain, shamed, guilty, and the like.

3. PAY ATTENTION, BUT STAY RELAXED
 Give attention, not just pay attention!
 Be present. Apply and direct yourself.
 Communicate the willingness to help.

4. STAY OPEN MINDED!
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” –
Gerry Spence
Listen without passing undue judgment.
Do not label or criticize the individual.
The second you entertain judging, you aren’t going to be listening.
You don’t know what someone else is thinking or feeling. The only way to find
out is to listen!
Don’t be a sentence finisher!

5. ASK QUESTIONS ONLY TO UNDERSTAND
 Wait for a pause in their speech before asking questions.
 Just like in kindergarten, “DON’T INTERRUPT!”
 “I don’t understand what you meant by that,” “Whoa, slow down there”
“So you’re telling me” are good examples of initiating pause questions.
 If you interrupt, you can cause the conversation to shift
 If it does shift, accept responsibility for causing it and get the conversation
back on track. “That’s awesome, so tell me about…”

6. EMPATHY
 Try to feel what the speaker is feeling
 Give appropriate feedback (Don’t say something like, “Yeah, good job.
Moving on.”)
 Listen also to what is NOT being said. The above is a perfect example of
screwing this up.

7. QUESTIONS…???
 Now I can see if you’ve been exercising good listening!
 Or perhaps you can try my listening skills?