Your "inner critic."
You most likely know
this voice,
even though you may
never have identified it as
an "inner critic."
The first step is to identify
that voice and identify the
times when you hear it.
These are situations where
you are brought back to a
fixed rather than a growth
mindset.
To do this, you simply need
to
practice awareness.
Start by identifying the
voice
when you hear it.
Next, try to remember what
event preceded those
negative thoughts.
It's a bit like trying to
identify what is causing a
stomach ache.
You have to go back and
try to remember what you
ate just before.
If you're not sure you've
identified your inner critic
yet, try looking for cues.
For example, look for times
when you find that you're
doubting yourself, saying
something like,
"Can I really do this?"
Or be aware of when
you're focusing on failure
rather than success;
for example, where you're
worrying about what will
happen
if you fail at something.
A good place to look for
your fixed mindset voice
is any time
you're trying something
new or challenging.
These are the most
common situations where
this negative voice arises.
Now
let's reframe these thoughts.
Once you can recognize
the voice,
you can learn to control it.
The way that you interpret
challenges, obstacles, or
criticism that you face is up
to you.
But this is the most
challenging step
for most people.
It is difficult to reframe
the voice
when you have well-
grooved patterns.
The way to think about
reframing is to imagine
giving advice to a friend.
Naturally, you would never
use a
harsh, critical voice when
trying to
help a friend.
If you would never do this
with a friend, why are you
doing it with yourself?
We are generally harsher
on ourselves than we are
with others,
so instead of talking to
yourself, imagine that
you're giving advice to a
good friend.
Take each statement that
your inner voice gives you
and imagine if it were a
friend, your partner, or a
family member who was
saying it to themselves.
Now, imagine that you're
giving them advice and
reframe the negative
statement that was made.
For example
"Are you sure you can do that?
You don't have the right
skills to take that on."
BECOMES
"I'm not sure I can do it, but
I can learn with practice
and effort. "
"What if I fail? I'll be a
failure"
BECOMES
All successful people have
failures.
I can learn from my
failure."
"She's a natural at
business. Besides, her
family runs a business.
I could never be as good
as her."
BECOMES
"She's successful in her
business, and
I can learn from her."
For example,
some Intelligence
examples
"I can't do that. I'm not
smart enough to take that
on."
BECOMES
"I'm not sure I can do it,
but
I can learn with practice
and effort."
"She's a natural at
business.
Besides, she has an MBA.
I could never be as good
as her."
" BECOMES
She's successful in her
business,
and I can learn from her."
After the activity of
reframing
comes Action.
What challenges can you
take on
in order to foster and
nurture a growth mindset?
What challenges have you
been avoiding? More next
week.
To learn techniques to
have a success mindset,
go to
http://jgtips.com/smindset.

Your inner critic