Lawyers must manage stress. This includes flexibility. The Stress Management Realm of emotional intelligence as measured by the EQ-i 2.0 concerns the ability to be flexible, tolerate stress, and be optimistic. This includes the Flexibility subscale. Flexibility means the ability to adjust emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions. Here is an example containment strategies, tips, and work-arounds for lawyers and other professionals concerning flexibility and stress management.

1. Tips, Containment Strategies, and
Work-arounds for
Personal Development Plan for
“Flexibility” –
Stress Management
Presented by
Dan DeFoe, JD MS - Adlitem Solutions
dan@adlitemsolutions.com
Certified Administrator – EQ-i 2.0
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2. Definition Emotional Intelligence - E.I.
From Multi-Health Systems
Remember the definition of
Emotional Intelligence under the
EQ-i 2.0 Model:
Emotional intelligence is a set of
emotional and social skills that
collectively establish how well we:
• Perceive and express ourselves
• Develop and maintain social
relationships
• Cope with challenges
• Use emotional information in an
effective and meaningful way
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3. The EQ-i 2.0 Model –
Where is Flexibility?
Stress Management Realm:
•Flexibility
•Stress tolerance
•Optimism
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4. EQ-i2.0 Model
Copyright©1997,2011Multi-Health
SystemsInc.Allrightsreserved.

5. Alignment
Copyright©1997,2011Multi-Health
SystemsInc.Allrightsreserved.

6. Flexibility - Summary
A good summary statement is:
“In sum, the flexibility component of
emotional intelligence concerns our
overall ability to adapt to unfamiliar,
unpredictable, and fluid circumstances.
Flexible people react to change without
rigidity, are able to change their minds
when the evidence suggests that they’re
mistaken, are open to and tolerant of
different ideas, orientations and ways of
doing things, and can smoothly handle
multiple demands and shifting priorities.”
The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success
/ Steven J. Stein, Howard E. Book – 3rd Ed., 2011, page
192
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7. Stress Management Composite Scale
Flexibility Subscale
• Adapting emotions, thoughts, and
behaviors.
• Adapting emotions, thoughts, and
behaviors to unfamiliar, unpredictable
and dynamic circumstances or ideas.
• Flexibility is the ability to adjust your
emotions, thoughts, and behavior to
changing situations and conditions.
• It is your overall ability to adapt to
unfamiliar, unpredictable, and dynamic
circumstances.
• A flexible person is agile and capable to
react to change without rigidity. 7
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8. Stress Management Composite Scale
Flexibility Subscale (Cont.)
• A flexible person can change her mind
when evidence suggests that she is
mistaken.
• Is open to and tolerant of different
ideas, orientations, ways, and practices.
• Important to note that the capacity to
be flexible does not mean arbitrary or
whimsical, but rather it is in concert
with information received from the
environment and processed.
• By contrast, inflexible people are viewed
upon as rigid and obstinate.
• Rigid and obstinate people have less
ability than flexible people when it
comes to taking advantage of new
opportunities.
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9. Stress Management Composite Scale
Flexibility Subscale –
High/Low Summary
Low
• Rigid
• Hard to
change
• Stuck in
patterns
High
• Able to adapt
to changing
circumstances
• Open to new
views, change
or behavior
• Going with
the flow
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10. Flexibility Can Be Learned
Inflexibility Can Be Changed
• Flexibility involves being able to
train yourself to reinterpret
unexpected situations that may at
first inspire gloom or alarm.
• Flexibility does not mean you act
impulsively.
• Flexibility does not mean you are
not being assertive.
• Inflexibility represents an extreme
form of the “homing” instinct –
you have become over-attached to
familiar ways of thinking and
doing.
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11. Flexibility Can Be Learned
Inflexibility Can Be Changed
• Flexible don’t “cave in”.
• Flexible people change position because
they are able to adapt and take
advantage of new information.
• Flexibility is tied to being able to read
your environment correctly – think
football quarterback. If a quarterback
sticks to a play regardless of what was
happening …..
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12. Stress Management Composite Scale
Flexibility Subscale
Costs of Being Too High
• Get taken advantage of
• May not stick to own ideas
• Can be bossy – because not solid
• Too changeable
• Scattered
• Easily swayed
• May not finish things
• No backbone
• May not take a stand
• Change for change’s sake – “change
junkie”
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13. Self-assessment Questions
Flexibility Questions
• Is it difficult for me to change my
opinion?
• I do not like being in unfamiliar
situations?
• Is it hard for me to change my ways?
• Is it hard for me to compromise?
• Do I feel uneasy with last minute
changes?
• Is it hard for me to make changes in my
daily life?
• Do I need things to be predictable?
• Does change makes me uneasy?
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14. Flexibility Subscale
General Containment Strategies
• Emphasize activities/tasks that require
reliability and consistency.
• Ensure there is sufficient preparation
time to help mitigate the impact of
significant change.
• Brainstorm to harvest ideas for
handling dynamic, changing demands.
• Be sure adequate training is received to
prepare for new activities and roles.
• Use change as an opportunity to learn
and develop.
• Consider how past experiences and
skills are applicable to new challenges.
• Push yourself to be open to new ideas
and new ways of doing things. 14
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15. ABCDE Strategy ==> Greater EI
• ABCDE is a system for altering
perceptions, attitudes and behavior. Dr.
Albert Ellis, the father of Rational
Emotive Behavior Theory, developed
this as a way to modify and change
feelings.
• The ABCDE system works by
deductive reasoning instead of allowing
feelings to get the better of you.
• The power of the ABCDE system is
that it enables you to defuse illogical,
maladaptive beliefs and allows more
rational and adaptive beliefs to emerge.
• The ABCDE system is a step-by-step
process. It facilitates awareness. With
increased awareness, you can strengthen
those skills that enhance your EI.
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16. ABCDEs
• A is some activating event. Example
is getting bumped off an airplane.
• B is beliefs. This is some type of
undermining and often unsubstantiated,
but self-sabotaging self-talk. Example is
you got bumped off the flight on
purpose because they thought you
didn’t care. Sometimes these are caused
by “dated tapes”, which are replays of
frequent and harsh statements made to
you earlier in your life. Example is
“Can’t you do anything right….?”
• C is a reaction, the consequence .
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17. • D is active debate, dispute, and
discarding the maladaptive, self-
defeating beliefs that give rise to the Cs.
• D is a an active monologue with key
questions:
• Where is the proof? Objective,
verifiable evidence that supports each
belief?
• Any alternative, more logical
explanations to explain the activating
event?
• If asked to give advice, what would you
say?
• Ever thought so before, and found out
that I was wrong?
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ABCDEs (cont.)

18. ABCDEs (cont.)
• E is effects. What happened as a result
of D? How did you shift your
understanding and beliefs about the
activating event and, consequently, your
feelings and behaviors.
“The power of the ABCDE approach is
that defusing illogical, maladaptive beliefs
allows more rational and adaptive beliefs
to emerge, and shifts your Cs to more
effective, adaptive feelings and behaviors”
The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success
/ Steven J. Stein, Howard E. Book – 3rd Ed., 2011, pages
36-45. 18
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19. Conclusion
• Thank you for your interest in
emotional intelligence and for taking the
EQ-i 2.0 emotional intelligence
assessment.
• Your EQ-i 2.0 report is a snap-shot in
time. It shows a pathway for you to
chart personal and professional
development.
• Remember, the EQ-i 2.0 is about
emotional intelligence, which is short-
term , tactical, and dynamic skills which
can be brought into play as situations
warrant.
• The individual building blocks of EI,
shown in the 15 subscales, can be
improved by coaching, training, and
experience.
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20. Thank You!
• This presentation is in follow up to our
feedback discussions about the results
of your EQ-i 2.0 report.
• Refer to your Report as often as you
like. It will provide suggestions, tips,
and thoughts about your personal
development plan.
• Please check out another source of
information used here: The EQ-
Edge: Emotional Intelligence and
Your Success, 3rd Ed., 2011, by Steven
J. Stein, PhD & Howard E. Book, MD,
a practical and usable guide to what EI
is all about. See also www.mhs.com/ei.
Thank you very much.
Dan DeFoe, JD MS
www.adlitemsolutions.com
dan@adlitemsolutions.com
Certified EQ-i 2.0 Administrator
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