The document outlines steps for developing social skills, including effective listening, asking for help, following instructions, and resolving conflicts. It emphasizes the importance of polite communication, understanding consequences, and using 'I-messages' during conflict resolution. Techniques for handling anger and accepting refusals are also discussed to promote positive interactions.

1. Social Skills Steps to Success

2. Listening Look at the person who is talking Think about what is being said Show that you are listening by nodding your head or asking a clarifying question Repeat what was said in your own words to show that you understand

3. Asking for Help Ask yourself, “Can I do this on my own?” If not, think about exactly what you need help with Think about who you should ask for help Choose the right time to ask. If you are in class raise your hand and wait quietly until you are called on Ask for help in a polite tone of voice

4. Following Instructions Listen carefully to the instructions Ask questions about anything you don’t understand Repeat the instructions to the person to be sure you understand Follow the instructions

5. Joining In Decide if you want to join in Decide what to say Choose a good time Ask if you can join in by using a friendly tone of voice If the answer is yes, join in Make sure you understand the rules If the answer is no, find another activity

6. Apologizing Decide if you need to apologize Think about your choices: Say it out loud to the person Write the person a note Choose a good time and place Carry out your best choice in a sincere way

7. Saying Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me Say “Please,” when you are asking for something Say “Thank You,” when you receive something from someone Say “Excuse Me,” when you disturb someone verbally or physically

8. Handling Anger Do or say nothing until you count to 10 Think of how your body feels and acknowledge that you feel angry Think about your choices and the consequences of each choice Act out your best choice

9. Accepting Consequences Decide if you were wrong If you were wrong, say to yourself, “I have to accept the consequences.” Say to the person, “Yes, I did (describe what you did).” Say how you will avoid doing this next time Apologize

10. Accepting “No” Decide why you were told no Think about your choices and the consequences of each choice Act out your best choice

11. Resolving Conflict Decide if you want to resolve the conflict Have someone ask the other person if they want to resolve the conflict Agree to the time and place Agree to the ground rules: No interrupting No name calling or put downs Work to resolve the conflict

12. Resolving Conflict Cont’ The first person tells his/her side of the story using I-Messages The second person restates what the problem is for the other person. After restating, this student may ask questions to understand the situation better The second person then tells their side of the story, after which, the first person restates what was said and asks appropriate clarifying questions

13. Resolving Conflict Cont’ Both people suggest possible solutions Both agree on a resolution