This document provides an overview of self-development skills like self-esteem and self-confidence. It discusses how self-awareness, self-concept, and self-acceptance impact relationships and success. Key points include how childhood experiences shape self-esteem, characteristics of low and high self-esteem, and potential issues with overly high self-esteem like narcissism. The document aims to help people understand and enhance their self-development.

1. IIM ROHTAK
PSYCHOLOGY
PRESENTED BY
DR. (MRS). URMILA RANI SRIVASTAVA
PROFESSOR
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY
FACULTY OF SOCIAL SCIENCES
BANARAS HINDU UNIVERSITY
VARANASI- 221005.
Email: urssrivastava@gmail.com

2. MODULE-3
LECTURES 1 AND 2
SELF-DEVELOPMENT SKILLS:
SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE

3. • As new university graduates find
themselves at innovative and high-tech
workplace conditions, in addition to
technical skills, soft skills which include-
the ability to think critically,
communicate and collaborate
effectively, team-work, emotional
intelligence and lead in different
situations are highly sought-after by
employers.

4. • The potential benefits of understanding and
enhancing self-development skills impact a
person’s decision-making process, social and
professional relationships, emotional health,
and overall well-being.
• It also influences motivation, as people with a
healthy, positive view of themselves
understand their potential and may feel
inspired to take on new challenges.

5. • Self-awareness- The ability to recognize
and understand your moods, emotions,
and drives and how your behaviour
influences others.
• If you're highly self-aware, you can
objectively evaluate yourself, manage
your emotions, align your behavior
with your values, and understand
correctly how others perceive you."

6. • One of the most important ways to develop
improved relationships with others is to develop a
better understanding of ourselves.
• With increased self-awareness comes a greater
understanding of how our behavior influences
others.

7. • When we look outward, we understand how
people view us.
• When we look inward, we can clarify our values,
thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and
weaknesses. We are able to recognize the effect
that we have on others.
• Research finds that people with self-awareness
are happier and have better relationships. They
also experience a sense of personal and social
control as well as higher job and life
satisfaction.

8. • People who are aware of how people see them
are more likely to be empathetic to people with
different perspectives.
• Leaders whose self-perception matches others'
perceptions are more likely to empower, include,
and recognize others.

9. Benefits of self-awareness:
• It gives us the power to influence outcomes
• It helps us to become better decision-makers.
• It gives us more self-confidence — so, as a result, we
communicate with clarity and intention
• It allows us to understand things from multiple
perspectives
• It frees us from our assumptions and biases
• It helps us build better relationships
• It gives us a greater ability to regulate our emotions
• It decreases stress
• It makes us happier

10. Self-concept and Self-acceptance
• Adolescents achieve their identity through their
self- concept.
• Self-concept is how we think about and evaluate
ourselves. The term self-concept is a general term
used to refer to how someone thinks about or
perceives themselves.
• Early in the adolescent period, growing children
begin to realize that they are individual not
simply extensions of their parents.
• The question, "Who am I?" is especially pertinent
during adolescence.

12. • A useful distinction is that our self-concept is
what we think about ourselves, whereas
self-esteem is what we feel about ourselves.
• People with positive self-esteem have a
deep-down, inside-the-self feeling of their own
worth. Consequently, they develop a positive
self-concept.

13. • The self-concept is a factual
description of how you
perceive yourself.
• If your perception is distorted,
this description may not be an
accurate depiction of you, but
it is an accurate statement of
what you believe about
yourself.
• The self-concept is derived
from self-esteem and
self-efficacy. If a person has
low self-esteem, the
self-concept may be skewed in
the direction of a negative
description.

14. WHY PERCEPTIONS OF OUR
SELF-CONCEPT ARE DISTORTED

15. • We all have a sense of self. Whether that sense of self
is positive or negative is based upon our
experiences in life and our perceptions and
assessment of ourself.
• However, the problem is that our perception of
ourself is often distorted.
• Previous experiences can distort this perception. For
instance, a person growing up in a perfectionistic
family may view herself as always falling short of
the expectations of the family.
• As a result, no matter how successful she might be,
she thinks of herself as a failure.

16. • Our perceptions of self-concept are distorted
due to
Early bitter childhood experiences
• When family members and elders label the child
as "How stupid!" or "What a dork!”
• These labels can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of
expectation. He expects himself to be stupid so he
never tries to prove otherwise.
• The labels can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of
expectation. He expects himself to be stupid so he
never tries to prove otherwise.

17. • In 1948, Robert K. Merton coined the term
self-fulfilling prophecy to describe “a false
definition of the situation evoking a behavior
which makes the originally false conception come
true” (Merton, 1968, p. 477).
•

18. The Pillars of the Self-Concept:
Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

20. • In Psychology, the term self-esteem is used to
describe a person's overall subjective sense of
personal worth or value.
• Self-esteem is the regard or respect that a person
has for oneself.
• Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself
and your perception on your value as a person.
Self-esteem refers to feeling competent and
being worthy of happiness.
• A person with positive feelings regarding the self is
said to have high self-esteem.

21. • In other words, self-esteem may be defined as how
much you appreciate and like yourself regardless of
the circumstances.
• Your self-esteem is defined by many factors
including:
• Self-confidence
• Feeling of security
• Identity
• Sense of belonging
• Feeling of competence

22. Why Self-Esteem Is Important?
• Self-esteem impacts your decision-making
process, your relationships, your emotional
health, and your overall well-being.
• It also influences motivation, as people with a
healthy, positive view of themselves
understand their potential and may feel
inspired to take on new challenges.
• People with healthy self-esteem:
• Have a firm understanding of their skills
• Are able to maintain healthy relationships
with others because they have a healthy
relationship with themselves
• Have realistic and appropriate
expectations of themselves and their
abilities
• Understand their needs and are able to
express them

23. • People with low self-esteem tend to feel
less sure of their abilities and may doubt
their decision-making process.
• They may not feel motivated to try
novel things because they don’t believe
they're capable of reaching their goals.
• Those with low self-esteem may have
issues with relationships and expressing
their needs.
• They have Impatience or Irritation With
Self or Others.
• They are unhappy and have feelings of
inferiority, superiority or negativity
• They may also experience low levels of
confidence and feel unlovable and
unworthy.

24. • People with overly high self-esteem may
overestimate their skills and may feel entitled to
succeed, even without the abilities to back up
their belief in themselves.
• They may struggle with relationship issues and
block themselves from self-improvement
because they are so fixated on seeing themselves
as perfect.

25. • How Self-Esteem Develops
• Part of understanding the nature of self-esteem is to
know how it develops. Self-esteem develops and
evolves throughout our lives based on
interactions with people, events, and things.
• Early life experiences have a major impact on
self-esteem.
• People who were encouraged to feel good about
themselves and their accomplishments by family
members, friends, and teachers are more likely
to enjoy high self-esteem.

26. Childhood experiences that lead to healthy
self-esteem include
• Being praised,
• Being listened to,
• Being spoken to respectfully,
• Getting attention and hugs, and
• Experiencing success in sports or school.

27. • In contrast, childhood experiences that lead to low
self-esteem include
• Being harshly criticized,
• Being yelled at or beaten,
• Being ignored, ridiculed, or teased,
• Being expected to be “perfect” all the time,
• Experiencing failures in sports or school, and
• Often being given messages that failed
experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade,
and so forth) were failures of their whole self.

28. CHARACTERISTICS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
• 1) Feelings of Unhappiness.
• 2) Feelings of Anxiety.
• 3) Feelings of Inferiority or
Superiority.
• 4) Impatience or Irritation
With Self or Others.
• 5) Externally Oriented
Goals.
• 6) Negativity.

29. • 7. Lack social skills and self-confidence. This makes them
avoid social settings.
∙ 8. Highly sensitive to criticism and lack the ability to take it in
the form of constructive criticism.
∙ 9. Overanalyse and overthink their problems, making them
preoccupied with their own problems.
∙ 10. Exhibit physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches and
insomnia.
∙ 11. They hate change in any form.
• 12. They have a tendency of trying to please people.
• 13. They are afraid to take up responsibilities.
• In general, Low self-esteem has the potential to lead to a variety
of mental health disorders, including anxiety
disorders and depressive disorders.

30. CHARACTERISTICS OF HIGH
SELF-ESTEEM
• 1) Responsibility.
• 2) Goal commitment.
• 3) Genuineness.
• 4) Forgiving.
• 5) Internal values.
• 6) Positivity.
• 7) Self-improvement.
•

31. POTENTIAL NEGATIVE
CONSEQUENCES OF OVERLY HIGH
SELF-ESTEEM

32. • The potential negative consequences of overly high
self-esteem can lead to narcissism.
• Narcissism is an extremely positive view of the self,
combined with limited empathy for others.
• Those with excessive self-esteem:
∙ May be preoccupied with being perfect
∙ May focus on always being right
∙ May believe they cannot fail

33. ∙ May believe they are more skilled or better than
others
∙ May express grandiose ideas
∙ May grossly overestimate their skills and abilities
• When self-esteem is too high, it can result in
relationship problems, difficulty with social
situations, and an inability to accept criticism.

34. METHODS OF ENHANCING
SELF-ESTEEM

36. • 1. Attain Legitimate accomplishments
• Legitimate accomplishments are more
effective in raising self-esteem when the
legitimacy of these accomplishments is not
dependent on what others think about them.
• Contingent self-esteem refers to feelings of
self-worth that depend on outside praise in a
realm that matters to a person.
• An example of non-contingent self-esteem
would be redecorating your work area and
feeling proud because it is aesthetically
pleasing.

37. Be Aware of Personal Strengths
• Another method of improving your
self-esteem is to develop an appreciation of
your strengths and accomplishments.
• A good starting point is to list your
strengths and accomplishments in a
word-processing document or on paper.
This list is likely to be more impressive
than you expected.

38. Rebut (prove wrong) the Inner Critic and Eliminate negative
self-talk
• Another early step in attaining better self-esteem is to rebut
your inner critic—the voice inside you that sends negative
messages about your capabilities. Rebutting critical
statements about you might also be considered another way of
appreciating your strengths. Two examples of rebutting your
inner critic follow:
• Your unfairly harsh inner critic says: “People said they
liked my presentation, but it was nowhere as good as it
should have been. I can’t believe no one noticed all the
places I messed up. I’m such an imposter.”
• Your reassuring rebuttal: “Wow, they really liked it. Maybe
it wasn’t perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation
and did a good job. I’m proud of myself. This was a great
success.”

39. • Eliminating negative self-talk doesn't mean you
can't recognize and address problems, but it
means to be careful about how you talk to
yourself and to not be self-destructive.

40. Accept Mistakes
• Recognize that mistakes and
flaws are part of the human
condition. They don't make you
less than others.
• Instead, you are like everyone
else. You have flaws and you
make mistakes.
• The more actively you are
involved in life, the more
mistakes you will make.
• But being actively involved
allows you more opportunity for
success as well. Accept
yourself—flaws and all.
• Paul Bear Bryant
(American Football
Player and Coach)

41. Practice Self-nurturing
• Although you may be successful at pointing to your
strengths and rebutting the inner voice that puts you
down, it is also helpful to treat yourself as a worthwhile
person.
• Start to challenge negative experiences and messages from
the past by nurturing and caring for yourself in ways that
show how valuable, competent, deserving, and lovable
you really are.
• Self- nurturing is often referred to as treating yourself
well or spoiling yourself. Here are two suggestions for
self-nurturing, both of which involve a modest amount of
skill development.

42. • Administer self-rewards for a job well done.
When you have carried out an activity
especially well in relation to your typical
performance, reward yourself in a small,
constructive way.
• You might dine at a favorite restaurant, take an
afternoon off to go for a nature walk, or spend
an hour at a Web site you usually do not have
the time to visit.
• Take good care of yourself mentally and
physically.

43. • Make sure that you get enough sleep and
rest, eat nutritious foods, and participate
in moderate physical exercise.
• Even taking an extra shower or bath can
give you a physical and mental boost.
The suggestions just mentioned are also
part of stress management.

44. Get Help from Others
• Asking for support from friends can include such basic steps as these:
• (1) Ask friends to tell you what they like about you or think that
you do well.
• (2) Ask someone who cares about you to listen to you complain
about something without offering a solution to your problem.
• (4) Ask someone who loves you to remind you that he or she does.
• Ask professors or tutors for help with work you find challenging.
• (2) If you lack self-confidence in certain areas, take classes or
attempt new activities to increase your competence.

45. Model the Behaviour of People with High Self-Esteem
• Observe the way people who you believe to have high
self-esteem stand, walk, speak, and act. Even if you are not
feeling so secure inside, you will project a high self-esteem
image if you act assured.
• Eugene Raudsepp recommends, “Stand tall, speak
clearly and with confidence, shake hands firmly, look
people in the eye and smile frequently. Your self- esteem
will increase as you notice encouraging reactions from
others.”
• Identifying a teacher or professor as a self-esteem model
is widely practiced, as is observing successful family
members and friends.

46. Create a High Self-Esteem Living Space
• A panel of mental health specialists recommends
that to enhance your self-esteem you should
make your living space the kind that honours
the person you are.
• Whether you live in a single room, a small
apartment, or a large house, make that space
comfortable and attractive for you.
• If you have a clean, inviting living space, others are
likely to treat you with more respect, which will
contribute to your self-esteem.

49. SELF-EFFICACY AND SELF-CONFIDENCE

50. • Self-confidence is one’s ability to judge his own
social and personal standing with respect to his
environment.
• Self-confidence is something that is influenced by
factors like upbringing, work environment and the
level of dedication.
• High self-confidence is an important factor in
improving business ties and balancing personal
life.

51. • Although self-confidence can be considered
part of self-esteem (or almost its equivalent), it
is important enough to study separately.
• Although self-confidence can mean different
things to different people, in reality it simply
means having faith in yourself.
• Self-confidence means trusting in your own
judgment, capacities and abilities.
• It's about valuing yourself and feeling
worthy, regardless of any imperfections or
what others may believe about you.

52. ALBERT BANDURA’S
SOCIAL COGNITIVE THEORY

53. • Social learning theory, proposed by Albert
Bandura, emphasizes the importance of
observing, modelling, and imitating the
behaviors, attitudes, and emotional
reactions of others.
• Bandura's social learning theory proposed that
learning can also occur simply by
observing the actions of others.
• In particular, the theory details the processes
of observational learning and modeling,
and the influence of self-efficacy on the
production of behavior.

54. RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SELF-EFFICACY
AND SELF-CONFIDENCE

55. • Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their ability to
succeed in a particular situation.
• Self-efficacy refers to an individual's belief in his or
her capacity to execute behaviours necessary to
produce specific performance attainments
(Bandura, 1977, 1986, 1997).
• While, Self-efficacy is the confidence in your ability
to carry out a specific task in contrast, according to
Dr. Bandura, self-confidence is more of a
GENERAL VIEW of how likely you are to
accomplish a goal, especially based on your past
experience.

56. • Self-confidence and self-efficacy are both rooted in
experience, but self-confidence reflects a broader view of
yourself, rather than your confidence in specific tasks.
• Self-efficacy is a situation-specific form of
self-confidence, a belief that oneself possess the
competence to master the task at hand and accomplish the
expected outcome (Gill & Williams, 2008, p. 87).
• Self-confidence is a stable personality characteristic. It is
your belief in yourself and your abilities.
• Where self-efficacy may fluctuate, self-confidence is
consistent from task to task (Gill & Williams, 2008, p.
87).

57. • The concept of self-efficacy is often used
interchangeably with the concept of
self-confidence.
• Self-efficacy is most accurately described as
a forerunner to self-confidence.
• So, if 'confidence' in this context means having
a strong belief, whether in something positive or
negative, then self-efficacy is about having the
strong, positive belief that you have the capacity
and the skills to achieve your goals. This
distinction is important.

58. People with a strong sense of self-efficacy:
∙ Develop deeper interest in the activities in which they
participate
∙ Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests
and activities
∙ Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments
∙ View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered

59. People with a weak sense of self-efficacy:
∙ Avoid challenging tasks
∙ Believe that difficult tasks and situations are beyond
their capabilities
∙ Focus on personal failings and negative outcomes
∙ Quickly lose confidence in personal abilities

60. Self-efficacy also determines
• What goals we choose to pursue,
• How we go about accomplishing those goals,
and how we reflect upon our own performance.
• How goals, tasks, and challenges are
approached.
• Self-efficacy can benefit a person's sense of well-being in
a number of ways. For instance, they remain optimistic
and confident in their abilities, even when things
become difficult.

61. Why Is Confidence Important in Business and in the
Workplace
• Confidence is important in business as it can make
you a better manager or leader.When people are
confident and motivated at work, there are many
positive factors that result in the workplace:
• Job satisfaction improves
• Effort increases
• Working environment improves
• Results are the focus
• Drive is created
• Everyone’s full potential can be tapped
• Everyone is certain of the role they are to fulfill

62. • Work better as a team
• Deal better with conflict
• Have good communication skills
• Be more productive
• Be happier at work and less likely to leave
• Embrace change and innovation
• Influence others
• Be better leaders
• Deal more assertively with customers, providers and
business partners
• Makes for a more positive workplace and one that is
more likely to thrive
• Can lead to a reduction in staff turnover and related
costs

63. • MAJOR REASONS OF LOW-CONFIDENCE
• Low-confidence can be a result of many factors
including:
• Fear of the unknown,
• Criticism, being unhappy with personal
appearance (self-esteem),
• Feeling unprepared,
• Poor time-management,
• Lack of knowledge and
• Previous failures.

64. • Often when we lack confidence in ourselves it is
because of what we believe others will think of
us.
• Perhaps others will laugh at us or complain or
make fun if we make a mistake.
• Thinking like this can prevent us from doing
things we want or need to do because we believe
that the consequences are too painful or
embarrassing.

65. • Over-confidence can be a problem if it makes you
believe that you can do anything - even if you don't
have the necessary skills, abilities and knowledge to do
it well.
• In such situations over-confidence can lead to failure.
Being overly confident also means you are more likely
to come across to other people as arrogant or
egotistical. People are much more likely to take pleasure in
your failure if you are perceived as arrogant.

66. CONFIDENCE AND BEHAVIOR

67. Take a look at the Table below, which compares confident behavior with behavior
that's associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you
recognize in yourself and the people around you?
Confident Behavior
Behavior Associated With Low
Self-Confidence
Doing what you believe to be right, even if
others mock or criticize you for it.
Governing your behavior based on what other
people think.
Being willing to take risks and to go the
extra mile to achieve better things.
Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure,
and avoiding risk.
Admitting your mistakes and learning from
them.
Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping
that you can fix the problem before anyone
notices.
Waiting for others to congratulate you on
your accomplishments.
Extolling (praise) your own virtues as often as
possible to as many people as possible.
Accepting compliments graciously.
"Thanks, I really worked hard on that
prospectus. I'm pleased you recognize my
efforts."
Dismissing compliments offhandedly. "Oh,
that prospectus was nothing, really. Anyone
could have done it."

68. Self-confidence can come from several
sources:
• Actual experience
• Experiences of others
• Social comparison
• Social Persuasion
• Emotional Arousal

69. • Actual experience
• When you have accomplished something and
succeeded, it is likely you will have the
self-confidence to be successful at the task again.
• If you successfully inserted a replacement battery
into your watch without destroying the watch, you
will be confident to make another replacement.

70. Experiences of others
• If you watch another person perform a task, you
may know you can do the same thing. Witnessing
other people successfully completing a task is
another important source of self-efficacy.
• According to Bandura, "Seeing people similar to
oneself succeed by sustained effort raises
observers' beliefs that they too possess the
capabilities to master comparable activities to
succeed."

71. • You can gain some self-confidence if you have
carefully observed others perform a task, such
as resolving conflict with a customer.
• You might say to yourself, “I’ve seen Reena calm
down the customer by listening and showing
sympathy, and I’m confident I could do the
same thing.”

72. Social comparison
• When we see others with similar abilities able to
perform a task, we may feel more confident in our own
abilities to perform the same task.
• If you see other people with capabilities similar to your
own perform a task well, you will gain in confidence.
• A person might say to himself or herself, “If that person
can learn how to work with enterprise software, I can
do it also. I’m just as smart.”
•

73. Social Persuasion
• A boost in self-confidence can come from the
encouragement of someone we trust.
• Bandura also asserted that people could be persuaded
to believe that they have the skills and capabilities to
succeed. Consider a time when someone said something
positive and encouraging that helped you achieve a goal.
• Getting verbal encouragement from others helps
people overcome self-doubt and instead focus on
giving their best effort to the task at hand.

74. • If a credible person convinces you that you can
accomplish a particular task, you will often receive a
large enough boost in self-confidence to give the task a
try.
• If the encouragement is coupled with guidance on how
to perform the task, your self- confidence gain will be
higher.
• So the boss or teacher who says, “I know you can do it,
and I’m here to help you,” knows how to build
self-confidence.

75. Emotional Arousal
• This refers to our inner feelings of being adequate
or inadequate when it comes to accomplishing a
certain task.
• Our own responses and emotional reactions to
situations also play an important role in
self-efficacy.
• Moods, emotional states, physical reactions, and
stress levels can all impact how a person feels about
their personal abilities in a particular situation.
• A person who becomes extremely nervous before
speaking in public may develop a weak sense of
self-efficacy in these situations.

76. • However, Bandura also notes "it is not the sheer intensity of
emotional and physical reactions that is important but rather
how they are perceived and interpreted."
• By learning how to minimize stress and elevate mood when
facing difficult or challenging tasks, people can improve their
sense of self-efficacy.
• Imagine a person standing on top of a high mountain, ready to ski
down. However, he or she is trembling and nauseous with fear.
• Contrast this beginner to another person who simply feels mildly
excited and challenged. Skier number one has a self-confidence
problem, whereas skier number two has enough confidence to
start the descent.

77. MODULE-3
SELF-DEVELOPMENT SKILLS:
STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING YOUR SENSE OF
EFFICACY

79. Develop a Solid knowledge Base
• A bedrock strategy for projecting self-confidence is to develop
a knowledge base that enables you to provide sensible
alternative solutions to problems. Intuition is very important,
but working from a base of facts helps you project a confident
image.
• Formal education is an obvious and important source of
information for your knowledge base. Day-by-day absorption
of information directly and indirectly related to your career
is equally important.
• A solid knowledge base contributes to self-confidence
also because the knowledge facilitates engaging in
conversation with intelligent people.

80. • A weak counterargument is that having information
stored in your brain is no longer important because
information is so accessible online. When in a gathering
of people, you could then use a smartphone to access
some facts to talk about.
• Such behavior is unlikely to help a person project a
confident, intelligent image.

81. Use Positive Self-talk
• Self-talk refers to the things we tell ourselves in quiet
moments. It could be, “I did a really good job on that
project” or “I am not good in math.”
• We constantly have an internal dialogue and our
subconscious does not know the difference between
truth and reality.
• So ,when we use negative self-talk, our subconscious
actually starts to believe whatever we are telling it!
This is why it is important to use positive self-talk.
• A basic method of building self-confidence is to engage
in positive self-talk, saying positive things about
yourself.

82. • Positive self-talk builds self-confidence and self-esteem
because it programs the mind with positive messages.
• Making frequent positive statements or affirmations about
the self creates a more confident person.
• An example would be, “I know I can learn this new
equipment rapidly enough to increase my productivity
within five days.”

83. • Business coach Gary Lockwood emphasizes that
positive self-talk is also useful for getting people past
difficult times. “It’s all in your head,” he said.
“Remember you are in charge of your feelings.
• You are in control of your attitude.” Instead of
berating yourself after making a mistake, learn
from the experience and move on.
• Say to yourself, “Every- one makes mistakes,”
“Tomorrow is another day,” or “What can I learn from
this?”

84. • Positive self-talk is included in self-compassion,
or treating yourself kindly.
• Self-compassion entails being warm and
understanding toward ourselves when we
suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than
ignoring our pain we are flagellating (आत्म-
पीड़ा) ourselves with self-criticism.

85. • Self-compassion means being gentle, kind and understanding
with yourself; accepting that you are not perfect; and
understanding that there is potential for learning and growth in
every mistake you make (Neff, 2003).
• People cannot always be or get exactly what they want. When
this reality is denied or fought against, suffering increases in the
form of stress, frustration and self-criticism.
• When this reality is accepted with sympathy and kindness,
greater emotional equanimity is experienced.
• Self-compassion can be useful in boosting self-confidence because
you view yourself in positive terms, and therefore feel more
confident of your abilities.

86. Avoid Negative Self-talk
• As implied, you should minimize negative statements about yourself
to bolster self-confidence.
• A lack of self-confidence is reflected in statements such as “I may
be stupid but . . .,” “Nobody asked my opinion,” “I know I’m
usually wrong, but . . .,” and “I know I don’t have as much
education as some people”
• Self-effacing statements like these serve to reinforce low
self-confidence. It is also important not to attribute to yourself
negative, irreversible traits, such as “idiotic,” “ugly,” “dull,”
“loser,” and “hopeless.”

87. • Instead, look on your weak points as areas for possible
self-improvement.
• Negative self-labelling can do long-term damage to your
self-confidence.
• If a person stops that practice today, his or her self-confidence may
begin to increase. For example
∙ “I will learn” instead of “I’ll never understand”
∙ “I will try” instead of “It’s too hard for me”
∙ “I know how to do it better next time” instead of “I’m such a
failure”

88. Practice Public Speaking
• Dale Carnegie (1888-1955), was an American writer
and lecturer, the original popularizer of human relations)
built his empire on the foundation of the importance of
public speaking in building self-confidence. In the age
of communication technology, this basic technique holds
true.

89. • If you can stand in front of an audience, even a small
meeting, and deliver your thoughts effectively, you
will gain in self-confidence.
• However, just reading PowerPoint slides to the group is
not enough. You have to look at the facial expressions
of the audience and speak directly to them.
• Making a successful presentation to the class has been
a self-confidence builder for millions of students.
Presentations in the workplace, to community groups,
religious groups, and sports groups can also be
self-confidence builders.

90. Use Positive visualization Technique
• Visualization is a cognitive tool accessing
imagination to realize all aspects of an
object, action or outcome.
• Positive visualization is a big word but it
describes a simple technique for creating
the results you want in life.
• Positive visualization techniques have been
used by successful people to visualize their
desired outcomes.

91. Develop Optimistic thinking
• Optimism is the ability to look on the bright side, or think
positively.
• According to the research and observations of consultant and trainer
Price Pritchett, optimism is linked to self-confidence. Explaining
events in an optimistic way can help preserve self-confidence and
self-esteem.
• Rather than condemn themselves for failures, they look for how
other factors or circumstances have contributed to the problem.
• Optimists then do not take all the blame for a problem, but look to
external factors to help explain what went wrong.
• Interpreting difficulties in this way gives the optimists a sense of
control.

92. Strive for Peak Performance
• A key strategy for projecting self-confidence is to
display peak performance, or exceptional
accomplishment in a given task. The experience is
transient, but exceptionally meaningful.
• Peak performance refers to much more than
attempting to do your best. Intense concentration
is required to achieve this state.

93. • To achieve peak performance, you must be
totally focused on what you are doing. When you
are in the state of peak performance, you are
mentally calm and physically at ease.
• Experiencing peak performance in various tasks
over a long period of time would move a person
toward self- actualization.
• You are so focused on the task at hand that you
are not distracted by extraneous events or
thoughts.

94. • The mental state achieved during peak performance is
akin to a person’s sense of deep concentration when
immersed in a sport or hobby.
• When we are in the state of Flow, we perform at our
peak.
• Flow is a mental state in which a person performing an
activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized
focus, full involvement, and enjoyment. Flow,
creativity, and happiness are related.

95. Developing Resilience (Bouncing Back From Setbacks)
• Resilience is the ability to ‘bounce back’ after a setback, or keep positive in
the face of challenges. The two are closely related, although not exactly the
same.
• Resilient people use their ability to think as a way to manage negative
emotional responses to events. In other words, they use positive or rational
thinking to examine, and if necessary, overcome reactions that they understand
may not be entirely logical.
• Resilience is a major contributor to personal effectiveness.
• An effective self-confidence builder is to convince yourself that you can
conquer adversity such as setbacks and embarrassments, thus being
resilient.
• A starting point in dealing with the emotional aspects of adversity is to
accept the reality of your problem. Admit that your problems are real and
that you are hurting inside.
• A second step is not to take the setback personally. Remember that setbacks
are inevitable so long as you are taking some risks in your career. Not
personalizing setbacks, helps reduce some of the emotional sting. If possible,
do not panic.
• Convince yourself to remain calm enough to deal with the severe problem or
crisis.

96. • Also, get help from your support network. Social
support is a key factor in developing resiliency.
• Getting emotional support from family members
and friends helps overcome the emotional
turmoil associated with adversity.
• They say that knowing someone you can count
on is essential for bouncing back.

97. Find a Creative Solution to Your Problem
• An inescapable (unavoidable) part of planning a comeback
is to solve your problem. You often need to search for
creative solutions. Suppose a person faced the adversity
of not having enough money for educational expenses.
• The person might search through standard alternatives,
such as applying for financial aid, looking for more
lucrative part-time work, and borrowing from family
members.

98. Strive to Develop Positive Psychological Capital
• A comprehensive way of becoming more self-confident is
to develop positive psychological capital, a positive
psychological state of development in which you have
hope, self-efficacy, optimism, and resilience. Note that
we have already discussed that self-efficacy and resilience
have already been included in our study of
self-confidence.
PsyCap
Self-
efficacy
Optimism
Hope
Resiliency

99. OTHER TECHNIQUES
• BODY LANGUAGE
• POSTURE
• SPEAK UP IN GROUP
DISCUSSIONS
• DRESS UP
• BUILD CONFIDENT HABITS
• REVIEW PAST ACHIEVEMENTS
• PRACTICE GRATITUDE
• PAY PEOPLE COMPLIMENTS
• PERSONAL BRANDING
• FOCUS ON CONTRIBUTING

100. • BODY LANGUAGE
• POSTURE
• (Discussed in Module-4)

101. Build Confident Habits
• To develop and improve your self-esteem, aim to develop good
habits – and break bad ones ! Do you have habits that harm your
work, career or personal life? Maybe you can't stop checking your
phone in meetings, turning up late for client visits, or putting off
important tasks.
• Bad habits like these can damage our reputations and hold us back in
our lives and careers, so it's vital that we learn how to deal with them.

102. • Regular exercise and a healthy diet can dramatically
improve your physical and mental health. And studies have
shown that getting a good night's sleep is linked with
increased optimism and self-esteem.
• Plus, you will feel more energized and probably more
attractive as well – both of which can help improve your
self-confidence.
• Exercise not only relieves stress, but achieving your
physical fitness goals is an excellent way to feel better
about your abilities.

103. Review Past Achievements
• Your self-confidence will increase when you're able to
say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence." you'll have
identified things that you're good at, based on your past
achievements.
• List the 10 things that you're most proud of in an
"achievement log."
• Then use them to make positive affirmations about what
you can do.

104. EXAMPLES OF POSITIVE SELF-AFFIRMATIONS
∙ These statements are particularly powerful if you tend to undermine
your confidence with negative self-talk.
∙ I can do this!
∙ My team respects and values my opinion.
∙ I am successful.
∙ I am honest in my life, and my work.
∙ I like completing tasks and projects on time.
∙ I'm grateful for the job I have.
∙ I enjoy working with my team.
∙ I'm bringing a positive attitude to work every day.
∙ I am excellent at what I do.

105. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
• Probably the fastest way to feel bad about yourself is to
focus on what you don’t have, what you haven’t
achieved, or to compare yourself to others that you feel
have achieved more than you have.
• Instead, practice focusing on gratitude. Gratitude is a
conscious, positive emotion one can express when
feeling thankful for something, whether tangible or
intangible.
• This could include relationships with people you love,
your health, your educational achievements, your
professional achievements, and any other positive
aspects of your life.

106. • If you train yourself to focus on what you have to be
grateful for, you will be amazed at how much more
confident – and happier in general – you will feel.
• Write down at least five things every day that you are
grateful for and you will be training yourself to stay
focused on the positive in your life and about yourself and
that you are proud of accomplishing, or things that
you can be grateful for in your life.

107. PAY PEOPLE COMPLIMENTS
• There is one sure fire way to surround ourselves in negativity –
that’s to gossip about others.
• When we feel bad about ourselves, we often look for ways to
project those feelings onto others by gossiping and insulting
them behind their back. Instead, try disengaging from the gossip
circle. Everyone has something valuable about them, so focus on
that instead.
• The more you practice paying sincere compliments to others
instead of focusing on their negative attributes you’ll be more
likely to focus on your own positive attributes as well.
• By looking for the best in other people, you will bring out the
best in yourself.

108. Personal Branding
• You're probably familiar with the branding done
by major corporations. Their logos and color
schemes, the type and the tone of their
advertising, their customer service, and their
corporate social responsibility programs all
present a certain image and help to shape how you
perceive them.
• But, have you considered applying the same concept
to yourself and creating a strong personal brand
that you can sell?

109. • Personal branding refers to work out what
makes you unique and live that identity every
day. Present an Impressive, Impactful and
Authentic Image. So you want to stand out from
the crowd. That's great! But how comfortable are
you with promoting yourself, in person or online?

110. • Working on your personal branding can also
help. If you project a positive image of your
authentic self, you'll likely start to receive the
positive feedback that's so important to your
self-confidence.
• Why Bother With a Personal Brand?
• Your words, presentation and behavior always
reveal something about your core values,
passions and achievements.

111. • As a result, people will often make snap judgments about
you, so it's important to make a good first impression.
• These qualities are also what managers look at carefully
when assessing candidates for promotion or hiring new
team members.

112. FOCUS ON CONTRIBUTING
• In a similar vein to thinking about what you have to
be grateful for, another way to keep away from
focusing on the negative in the world (and about
yourself) is to focus on the contributions that you
can make to the workplace and to others.
• When you shift your focus to what you give
instead of what you get or how you are
perceived, you will stop worrying so much about
yourself.

113. • Plus, if you can help others or contribute in some
positive way, it will simply make you feel good.
• For all of these reasons, focusing on what you
contribute will help to boost your self-confidence.